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TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android
I just need to post Vs. wisdom, beauty, and baggage.. here hold this bag and ponder.
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stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
Yeah it's natural instinct I believe for the first couple of months. A recent trend, and also older tradition, people would give birth in water. I've actually watched a video of a woman giving birth underwater and holding the baby under. You can see it just curled in the fetal position just still chilling. It's cool
.It's also helpful to new mothers as you can actually bathe a baby and pour water over their head at bath time and they will hold their breath.
You guys should vote for my pic in the SO pic thread. I wonder if bribing is against the rules
LOL addy you're a riot.
mrflowers00
Ex-Bluelighter
i'm freaking out my doctor is cutting me off my meds i need to find a new doctor that will prescribe the amount of meds i need which is a lot and hopefully they don't want prior medical records
mrflowers00
Ex-Bluelighter
cause in my records it says i shoot up
You can request records that do not include and information in regards to substance abuse.. it is usually one of the boxes to be checked when you fill out the release.. when you fill this form out ask for a copy of the release.. obtain the records and then bring them over yourself.. but read the records through to make sure they dont have this information.. if they do dont alter them as this is illegal.. just go back and request they please do what you asked. So i hope this will help flowers.. do it a week or two early as by law they have a little window before they are required to produce them.. but for them to do this correctly it will require them looking though for substance stuff by hand and to tell you the truth I would make sure you look though them all to see if they did it A and if they missed anything B.
NSFW:
lol
Fuck flowers I'm freaking out as well I made a appointment for therapy and to see the doctor to test me for ADD, but over the phone when the guy was taking my info he asked me if I ever used drugs to get high I said no, then he asked me what medications if any I'm prescribed, and what pharmacy I go to. I told him all the meds I'm prescribed to but left out the Suboxone.
So he told me to come in for intake and it will last about an hour & he also said I had to sign consent forms...I'm bugged out that he wants my medical records from my doctor and it will clearly will say that I'm on Suboxone for opiate abuse. So I know that I have ADD but they probably will not prescribe me anything for my ADD due to "potential abuse" of the drug.
But on the 28 of October I got prescribed the Suboxone and my doctor put me on Adderall as well, but my insurance wouldn't pay for it because I need to be diagnosed with ADD. So I had to pay out of pocket for that script it's a ton of money. So IDK what consent forms they need me to sign, I'm so scared.
Oh and flowers I just got your PM, I hope my PM helps you out.
Black Rabbit of Inle
Bluelight Crew
I'm so tired -_- I need caffeine and that instant wake-me-up of boiling water hitting my tongue...
caseface99
Bluelight Crew
I'm inches away from relapsing right now. I'm at a breaking point emotionally. This is the worst I've felt mentally since getting sober and i don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm freaking out and i don't know what to do. I fear I am going to use and lose everything. some people say they don't have another relapse in them? Well I do. But i DONT have another recovery in me. if i use, this is it. Game over.
Hey keep calm case
.. what do you plan to do flip this back around?
.. what do you plan to do flip this back around?
If I were about to relapse i certainly would give a long hard thought to relapsing on something that's fun and beneficial like boomers and the last thing I would do is hit some lame ass hard drug that will swallow you and ruin your life and isn't going to feel anything near like you imagine.. stay strong it only feels like you cant handle it you can.. Fight fight fight..
caseface99
Bluelight Crew
Honestly a psychedelic sounds exactly like what i need. Not some shitty numbing agent like heroin(as much as id love to give in the being numb, its not what i NEED). I need the opposite of what heroin could do for me right now, which is psychs.
really I'm having the sort of mental crisis right now that i always used to use psychedelics to help work through in the past. And now That I don't have them to use as an introspective tool to work through this shit, I'm freaking out.
I'm truly terrified that if I don't work through this soon I'm going to say fuck it and just numb everything away again. I KNOW that will only make things worse, but it will also make things much simpler. I will only have one problem to deal with, which is getting more. It's not what i want, but it's the easy way out.
It seriously never occurred to me that i would need to figure out how to deal with this sober, the type of mental crisis that usually a dose of delving into ones own mind can fix. I just never thought about it, because it happens so rarely. But I'm thoroughly freaking out about it right now, and could probably write a paper worthy of being published as to why it wouldn't be a big deal to take a psych right now (in terms of my continued sobriety from other drugs)
But part of what I've been told in rehab is telling me it's a bad idea, and I'm battling with myself over it. Like, what if The only reason I think it could be a bad idea is because of things I've been told over and over in rehabs that might not be true, especially not true for everyone? I just don't see how spiritual/conscious/mind exploring use of a psychedelic will destroy what I've worked for in recovery. If anything I can only see how it will help right now.
Edit: I just took my suboxone. I don't think I mentioned this, but I purposely hadn't taken it earlier this evening. I guess it's a good thing It took less then a few hours for me to decide to take it. I honestly don't want to relapse on heroin, but I'm terrified right now that its coming. I don't know what would happen if I managed to not take it for a few days. I'm so distraught and freaking out mentally that something needs to change otherwise I'm going to snap.
really I'm having the sort of mental crisis right now that i always used to use psychedelics to help work through in the past. And now That I don't have them to use as an introspective tool to work through this shit, I'm freaking out.
I'm truly terrified that if I don't work through this soon I'm going to say fuck it and just numb everything away again. I KNOW that will only make things worse, but it will also make things much simpler. I will only have one problem to deal with, which is getting more. It's not what i want, but it's the easy way out.
It seriously never occurred to me that i would need to figure out how to deal with this sober, the type of mental crisis that usually a dose of delving into ones own mind can fix. I just never thought about it, because it happens so rarely. But I'm thoroughly freaking out about it right now, and could probably write a paper worthy of being published as to why it wouldn't be a big deal to take a psych right now (in terms of my continued sobriety from other drugs)
But part of what I've been told in rehab is telling me it's a bad idea, and I'm battling with myself over it. Like, what if The only reason I think it could be a bad idea is because of things I've been told over and over in rehabs that might not be true, especially not true for everyone? I just don't see how spiritual/conscious/mind exploring use of a psychedelic will destroy what I've worked for in recovery. If anything I can only see how it will help right now.
Edit: I just took my suboxone. I don't think I mentioned this, but I purposely hadn't taken it earlier this evening. I guess it's a good thing It took less then a few hours for me to decide to take it. I honestly don't want to relapse on heroin, but I'm terrified right now that its coming. I don't know what would happen if I managed to not take it for a few days. I'm so distraught and freaking out mentally that something needs to change otherwise I'm going to snap.
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lovepsychadelics
Bluelighter
I have a lot of violence issues but my partners have always been able to talk me down. The violence is more from a part of my life that is behind me so it's not ingrained from childhood... to any great extent. Ok so maybe I was always in fights and shit when I was a kid but there is different levels... As a kid your not kicking in... stuff... Also It's kind of a principle thing "eye for an eye" never against women, children or elderly. Anyway most women seem to find violence most unattractive especially if it's extreme.
I've noticed some slappers seem to get off on their men being all macho and want them to fight, until they get fucked up and then the slappers run in to have a go, hold the silly bitches off at arms length. Violence is not good is what I have learnt and never underestimate and opponent it may be your undoing. So in short guys don't bother with going to blows and girls don't inflame a situation by trying to get your man fired up for a fight it's most unseemly and just because he's buff and full of roids/speed don't mean he's not going to get his head shoved up his ass! Be like my partners and talk him down so that he doesn't make a dickhead of himself and you don't look like a common tart even if the other party is at fault and complete tossers. Leave it up to someone/something else tossers always get their comeuppance.
Violence can result in your death or the death of someone else and do you want that on your hands for the rest of your life however long or short that may be???
Caseface99 Sometimes staring something in the face and taking it head on is the only way to go. Using psychedelics as a tool is great but unless you deal with the real issue your always going to go down the easy path as you have never faced up to the real issues. Dealing with life issues without any drugs takes a lot more guts and effort than sinking a tab and expecting some kind of life guiding revelation/miracle to point you in the right direction. To want to be numb because things are to hard in life is someplace I have been. PTSD will do that. A psychedelic will help you and no one else so if your issues are of a relationship nature then it's useless. You can do all the self discovery you want but your relationship/partner will always be the same (no matter how much you change they remain constant... pointless effort) and psychedelics are not the answer for everyone. Sometimes they make people face truths they would rather forget and the confrontation can be an ordeal for their psyche.
but there is different levels... As a kid your not kicking in... stuff... Also It's kind of a principle thing "eye for an eye" never against women, children or elderly. Anyway most women seem to find violence most unattractive especially if it's extreme. I've noticed some slappers seem to get off on their men being all macho and want them to fight, until they get fucked up and then the slappers run in to have a go, hold the silly bitches off at arms length. Violence is not good is what I have learnt and never underestimate and opponent it may be your undoing. So in short guys don't bother with going to blows and girls don't inflame a situation by trying to get your man fired up for a fight it's most unseemly and just because he's buff and full of roids/speed don't mean he's not going to get his head shoved up his ass! Be like my partners and talk him down so that he doesn't make a dickhead of himself and you don't look like a common tart even if the other party is at fault and complete tossers. Leave it up to someone/something else tossers always get their comeuppance.
Violence can result in your death or the death of someone else and do you want that on your hands for the rest of your life however long or short that may be???
Caseface99 Sometimes staring something in the face and taking it head on is the only way to go. Using psychedelics as a tool is great but unless you deal with the real issue your always going to go down the easy path as you have never faced up to the real issues. Dealing with life issues without any drugs takes a lot more guts and effort than sinking a tab and expecting some kind of life guiding revelation/miracle to point you in the right direction. To want to be numb because things are to hard in life is someplace I have been. PTSD will do that. A psychedelic will help you and no one else so if your issues are of a relationship nature then it's useless. You can do all the self discovery you want but your relationship/partner will always be the same (no matter how much you change they remain constant... pointless effort) and psychedelics are not the answer for everyone. Sometimes they make people face truths they would rather forget and the confrontation can be an ordeal for their psyche.
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Heroin and opiates in general are for the birds case
.. really they may make us feel ok for an hour or two.. but you won't feel like you think and then they will start to slowly chew ya up and in a week they will swallow you and you will spend your whole life obsessing over, finding and trying to pay for that slave creating crap and will actually feel worse for 98% of the time then you feel 100% now..
Addiction uses a snapshot of a time when the drugs made us feel real good.. that was just a moment and if you look at the way they made us feel the other 96% of the time you realize that they made us feel absolutely awful. IMO psychedelics like boomers can definitely be a strong weapon in the fight against addiction. The dont really manipulate the dopamine system and thus IMO wont excite the VTA and cause a surge in the addictive drive. Since the fellowships are an abstinence only group and are against the use of all substances you would likely feel guilty after using even boomers and this combined with thoughts of the loss of clean time may cause emotions that may drive use. There is also the fellowship idea that if we use any drug it will lead us to our DOC and this idea sure gives addicts an excuse to use their DOC, like we need excuses.![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
In my opinion the responsible use of boomers as a tool to occasionally ticket out of the cycle of addiction, used during a hard addictive push and before a relapse or occasionally to possibly prevent this from ever happening, can be a really beneficial tool. They can "reset the mechanism" and allow us to see right through the insane thinking that is getting strong and driving us back towards hell. I dont advocate anything close to regular use IMO this should be used as a spiritual tool and not a recreational activity.
As a person's recovery is their own responsibility and the decisions and consequences theirs to make and bear.. an addict needs to consider and evaluate this for the benefits and drawbacks to their own recovery. Every one can be triggered by different things and something like may well be a trigger for one person but a wonderful tool for another addict.
.. really they may make us feel ok for an hour or two.. but you won't feel like you think and then they will start to slowly chew ya up and in a week they will swallow you and you will spend your whole life obsessing over, finding and trying to pay for that slave creating crap and will actually feel worse for 98% of the time then you feel 100% now.. Addiction uses a snapshot of a time when the drugs made us feel real good.. that was just a moment and if you look at the way they made us feel the other 96% of the time you realize that they made us feel absolutely awful. IMO psychedelics like boomers can definitely be a strong weapon in the fight against addiction. The dont really manipulate the dopamine system and thus IMO wont excite the VTA and cause a surge in the addictive drive. Since the fellowships are an abstinence only group and are against the use of all substances you would likely feel guilty after using even boomers and this combined with thoughts of the loss of clean time may cause emotions that may drive use. There is also the fellowship idea that if we use any drug it will lead us to our DOC and this idea sure gives addicts an excuse to use their DOC, like we need excuses.
In my opinion the responsible use of boomers as a tool to occasionally ticket out of the cycle of addiction, used during a hard addictive push and before a relapse or occasionally to possibly prevent this from ever happening, can be a really beneficial tool. They can "reset the mechanism" and allow us to see right through the insane thinking that is getting strong and driving us back towards hell. I dont advocate anything close to regular use IMO this should be used as a spiritual tool and not a recreational activity.
As a person's recovery is their own responsibility and the decisions and consequences theirs to make and bear.. an addict needs to consider and evaluate this for the benefits and drawbacks to their own recovery. Every one can be triggered by different things and something like may well be a trigger for one person but a wonderful tool for another addict.
tripnotyzm
Bluelighter
Oh man... I really shouldn't have eaten that McDonalds -.-
Feeling utterly sick right now.
Feeling utterly sick right now.
^ sorry trip.. I love this.
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