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I Just Need To Post Vs. Lend me your eyes and ears, your wisdom and beauty.

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I really can't be doing with 12 steps, sponsors n all that. In my opinion, it just appears like a way of someone to try n control someone else. I really couldn't be deal with that. One person in my support group said she went to AA. Someone overheard her saying she was about to go home n the person turned around saying "I'll smack you if you walk through that door, what exactly are you going to do at home?!" This person ended up being her sponsor. I don't understand why, because it was complete control.

How are you all doing anyway? It's been awhile since I've been on this threead.

Evey xxxx
 
Eveleivibe said:
I really can't be doing with 12 steps, sponsors n all that. In my opinion, it just appears like a way of someone to try n control someone else. I really couldn't be deal with that. One person in my support group said she went to AA. Someone overheard her saying she was about to go home n the person turned around saying "I'll smack you if you walk through that door, what exactly are you going to do at home?!" This person ended up being her sponsor. I don't understand why, because it was complete control.

How are you all doing anyway? It's been awhile since I've been on this threead.

Evey xxxx
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I wouldn't completely count out 12 step programs, they've got a lot of people clean and work for lots of people. I spent a couple of years attending NA on and off including 2 months at a 12 step treatment centre.

I've decided the 12 step program isn't for me in the end, but there is a lot of useful information and support to be found at these groups and I'm grateful for my time spent there. I'm trying a different way now but I wouldn't rule them out when recommending options to people trying to recover from substance abuse. The most important thing is that someone trying to recover from addiction needs to be open to changes in their lives and thinking and being open to options such as 12 steps should be part of that process.

However, I also met a lot of very sick people who were clean/sober but living lives that were utterly mad and I simply didn't agree with a lot of the scriptures and teachings so I decided to try a different way. There is also a certain amount of the behaviour that you describe going on but that is limited to certain unpleasant individuals and I wouldn't write off the whole organisation on the basis of them.
 
^^ To each their own. I specifically stated my sponsor doesn't tell me what to do, and I wouldn't ever work with a sponsor who tried to. Likewise, as a sponsor I won't ever tell anyone what to do, except when it comes to planning a relapse - for the record, if the only way to stop one of my friends from relapsing was to knock them out I would do it in a heartbeat. That's not telling someone what to do, that's saving someones life. If they still decide to go do it on their own then that's their prerogative but as a heroin addict who is friends with multiple heroin addicts in recovery I would NEVER stand by and willingly let one of them go relapse. I would expect any of my friends to do the same to me if they knew I was leaving to go cop. For addicts like me this is life and death. It's not just the difference between being happy or miserable, it quite literally could be the difference between being alive and dead. Even my purely alcoholic friends who didn't have serious drug addictions, relapsing on alcohol might not be an impending life or death situation for them but 3 weeks ago my best friend relapsed and killed someone while driving drunk, now he's been charged with second degree murder and multiple other felonies and quite frankly he may as well be dead.

I would never slap someone for deciding not to be at an AA meeting, but if they said "I'm leaving TO GO USE", that's different.

/opinion
 
We will agree to differ. I would let someone relapse because it's their life n they need to make - and learn from their own mistakes. However, my personal feelings may be coming in here because I have a major issue with people trying to control me. I thinking knocking someone out is out of order. If a person put their hand on me like that I'd have them arrested.

12 steps may work brilliantly for some n that's ace but for me, it wouldn't work. I could not have another addict preach to me on recovery when they, themselves, were an addict n had to choice to continue - until they had, had enough n wanted sobriety.

Also NA seems very hard hearted, in my opinion, accusing people of self-pity when a person is feeling down n need of some support, empathy. I've seen a lot of that kind of talk in those type of programmes. Personally I like to be there for someone, listen to them, encourage them n enable them to empower themselves, build their confidence n so forth.

Like I say, NA/AA may work for some - and I'd advise anyone to try it as it
May be what keeps them sober, but for me, it won't work as I perceive as hard- hearted n controlling. Sorry if that offends others. I'm not saying that, that is the case, but that it's my perception.

Happy Easter!

Evey xxxx
 
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It's been a rough month, a lot has changed, but luckily my sobriety and my mental wellbeing continues to improve daily. Glad to see everything is still around, doing good for the most part. I feel scattered as I'm not up to date on how everyone is doing. Sending love out to everyone <3.
 
CaseFace said:
I would never slap someone for deciding not to be at an AA meeting, but if they said "I'm leaving TO GO USE", that's different.

/opinion
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I totally disagree, if someone broke my personal boundaries like that they'd be picking their teeth out of the back of their throat. I'm not a 12 stepper any more, but sponsor or not, no one has the right to be physically violent towards another because of their own personal choice to use. That sort of behaviour is indicative of a sick individual who dooesn't have the basic morality needed to fill a position of trust such as a sponsor.

/opinion
 
stardust.hero said:
It's been a rough month, a lot has changed, but luckily my sobriety and my mental wellbeing continues to improve daily. Glad to see everything is still around, doing good for the most part. I feel scattered as I'm not up to date on how everyone is doing. Sending love out to everyone <3.
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Hey star, glad you are doing okay as well. I am, doing great! Had some issues with my current job but everything is going fine now. ;)
 
^I'm glad things worked itself out at your job. I'm still in that period of adjustment at my new job so it isn't that enjoyable. But it makes money heh. ;)
 
stardust.hero said:
^I'm glad things worked itself out at your job. I'm still in that period of adjustment at my new job so it isn't that enjoyable. But it makes money heh. ;)
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Yeah for sure. I thought of looking for another job but I won't be able to find another that will match with my current job at this moment. My salary pays a lot of bills so I am just bearing it as much as I can.

On top of that I also registered for two courses and have night classes. Two nights every week and I am loving it! I missed school so much and having to interact and meet new people in class.
 
I also considered a different job, but this time of year here isn't the best for hiring as well, the job I currently have is giving me good hours and the job itself isn't very stressful. My last job was so stressful I was in panic all day long, it's really nice for a change not to feel that way.

I'm so happy for you <3.
 
^^ ever since i finished my degree a few months ago, i have been craving to get back into school. i love taking classes and the whole aspect of school. i'm a dork, i know ;)
 
ad lib said:
^^ ever since i finished my degree a few months ago, i have been craving to get back into school. i love taking classes and the whole aspect of school. i'm a dork, i know ;)
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What was your degree, addy? Mine was BSc Psychology. Was doing a masters in Weight Management, but I quit - so only have a postgrad certificate in it - better than nothing I suppose. Well done on your degree.

Evey xxxx
 
stardust.hero said:
I also considered a different job, but this time of year here isn't the best for hiring as well, the job I currently have is giving me good hours and the job itself isn't very stressful. My last job was so stressful I was in panic all day long, it's really nice for a change not to feel that way.

I'm so happy for you <3.
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Thanks lovey <3 back at you

There are times when I would want a less stressful job, but I guess I am just getting used to the craziness in the office.

Addy I love school right now!! I love it more than work tbh =D
 
ad lib said:
^^ ever since i finished my degree a few months ago, i have been craving to get back into school. i love taking classes and the whole aspect of school. i'm a dork, i know ;)
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I graduated in 2005, almost 9 years ago, and I miss school badly. I loved college, I hope I get a chance to go back and get my master's, though I know it won't be the same. Nothing compares to when you first go off to school, freedom for the first time, the world is brand new and exciting, in a way that I don't think you can ever replicate.
 
Eveleivibe said:
What was your degree, addy? Mine was BSc Psychology. Was doing a masters in Weight Management, but I quit - so only have a postgrad certificate in it - better than nothing I suppose. Well done on your degree.

Evey xxxx
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Nursing :) (RN)
 
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