PTSD I hurt myself yesterday. Self harm trigger warning.

[notsmokeymcpot42088]

Think we're straying a bit off topic mate. I appreciate your contribution. I'm talking about how I hurt myself as some form of fucked up coping mechanism - I didn't hurt anyone else.

Maybe I'm a bit confused about what you're getting at, but you didn't inflict the "bowl burn" on yourself, right? If you did, then I'm sorry and I may have misunderstood.

Fair enough. I dont harm myself -- I just take great risks knowing there is a good chance harm is going to happen. I feel like I relate though

 

[BK38]

Fair enough. I dont harm myself -- I just take great risks knowing there is a good chance harm is going to happen. I feel like I relate though

Yes, I get that. That you kind of take risks and almost beg for something to happen? Do you think of it as a kind of self-destructive motive? Essentially that you want to take some damage or at least risk it?

 

[notsmokeymcpot42088]

Yes, I get that. That you kind of take risks and almost beg for something to happen? Do you think of it as a kind of self-destructive motive? Essentially that you want to take some damage or at least risk it?

A little bit yea -- the risk makes me feel alive. I do "Wish a mother fucker would" kind of regardless of outcome. Since I was about 12 I have had a principle of "Only fight people who you should be able to kick your ass" --- lost a few that way playing way out of my weight class.

I dont want to be harmed or anything --- it just seems important people know I do not care if that is the way things go down --- so be it.

An example is I remember a fella sticking a knife to my throat while driving --- I put my foot on the gas pedal and said "Go for it man" at about 100. I didnt really care tbh, we can both die right now that is alright with me