SinfulbyNature
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2026
- Messages
- 847
This therapy I’m doing really does seem to be helping me. I’m doing EDMR. It helps you procces the bad memories and sorta file them away for good. The moment he broke my arm was something that I’m sure I’ll never get over. I almost passed out. Sometimes these memories feel like movies that are chasing me trying to force me to watch. They finally always catch up to me tho and it’s like I’m forced to watch it all over again. Then I get stuck ruminating and It’s like I lose days. seriously just not had any support so it’s been so hard, but I’ve been working daily on releasing the trauma for my mind and my body. I’m starting to feel like myself again. I’m excited about moving to Newport Kentucky. It’s like northern Kentucky like it’s like in between the state lines of West Virginia and Ohio.. It’ll be a new environment for me so there won’t be the same triggers and I’m excited about dating again. The one thing that I’ve been the most blessed about is looking a lot younger than I am people always think that me and my daughters or sisters. I can’t wait to date again and act like teenagers and have fun and have sex. I miss having someone in my bed. I’m just ready to find somebody that I can share the rest of my life with that I can be a partner to that I can complete, but I need the same in return. I want to see how good it can get from here. I know this is so cliché, but I can’t help how I feel my ideal man would be like a preacher that’s a freak in the sheets
and live in a beautiful Victorian home with a sex dungeon downstairs
I don’t choose to go by ethics because those are standards set by an outside source. I’ve developed my own moral compass. I remember when my son was little…-with all my kids I always made my own test and like worksheets for them. When my son was little I drew like an outline of the body, and I drew lines through it for him to write on and then beside of it I put all these like character traits like honesty, malicious, and genuine and creative, etc. You know every kind of character, the good and the bad. I told him to build his own best friend. I want you to to decide what character traits and qualities you would want them to have as your best friend. Of course you want your best friend to be honest. So he worked real hard on it and he came back to me. He gave it to him. We went over each character trait and what they meant. Then I told him that if this is what he’s want out of his best friend and this was what he’s expecting then this is what he’s got to become first because you don’t have a right to expect something from others that you’re not willing to do yourself. With my children I’d always do wild spontaneous random things because if you don’t create memories, you won’t have any. I would wake them up at 2 o’clock in the morning on school night to go outside and dance in the rain.
I always had this one thing on my bucket list that I always dreamed about being able to do with one of my children. It was something that I had thought about way before I even had kids.. Even though it involves Disney World it had nothing to do with the destination. It was all about the way that I was gonna set it up and present it. I wanted it to be more about the spontaneity… the unexpectedness and the monotony because a child’s mind is so precious and it’s so fleeting and you don’t have those moments with them long.
My plan was to already have all the travel arrangements made of course. But do it on a random Tuesday when it was least expected. I never got to do it with either one of my girls cause while they were growing up I was always working and still in college working on my degree. But by the time my son was born I was more financially stable. One day on a random Tuesday I just looked at him and said “you wanna go to Disney world? I’m bored” . He said “yeah right”. I said get your shoes on and let’s go. We went…got on a plane and flew to Disney world. He’s never forgot that and tells that story to everyone at least twice. That was priceless to me.
People say I live in a fairytale. Yeah I guess I do. Why not you know? I know people don’t really like me on here but they use to. That’s been mostly due to group mentality. When things got really bad for me it was kinda set in place that I was making shit up and doing everything for attention. That changed everything for me here. I just don’t if I can ever. feel like myself here again. I’m trying hoping it’s gets better. Apparently I’m a better experience in person
and live in a beautiful Victorian home with a sex dungeon downstairs I don’t choose to go by ethics because those are standards set by an outside source. I’ve developed my own moral compass. I remember when my son was little…-with all my kids I always made my own test and like worksheets for them. When my son was little I drew like an outline of the body, and I drew lines through it for him to write on and then beside of it I put all these like character traits like honesty, malicious, and genuine and creative, etc. You know every kind of character, the good and the bad. I told him to build his own best friend. I want you to to decide what character traits and qualities you would want them to have as your best friend. Of course you want your best friend to be honest. So he worked real hard on it and he came back to me. He gave it to him. We went over each character trait and what they meant. Then I told him that if this is what he’s want out of his best friend and this was what he’s expecting then this is what he’s got to become first because you don’t have a right to expect something from others that you’re not willing to do yourself. With my children I’d always do wild spontaneous random things because if you don’t create memories, you won’t have any. I would wake them up at 2 o’clock in the morning on school night to go outside and dance in the rain.
I always had this one thing on my bucket list that I always dreamed about being able to do with one of my children. It was something that I had thought about way before I even had kids.. Even though it involves Disney World it had nothing to do with the destination. It was all about the way that I was gonna set it up and present it. I wanted it to be more about the spontaneity… the unexpectedness and the monotony because a child’s mind is so precious and it’s so fleeting and you don’t have those moments with them long.
My plan was to already have all the travel arrangements made of course. But do it on a random Tuesday when it was least expected. I never got to do it with either one of my girls cause while they were growing up I was always working and still in college working on my degree. But by the time my son was born I was more financially stable. One day on a random Tuesday I just looked at him and said “you wanna go to Disney world? I’m bored” . He said “yeah right”. I said get your shoes on and let’s go. We went…got on a plane and flew to Disney world. He’s never forgot that and tells that story to everyone at least twice. That was priceless to me.
People say I live in a fairytale. Yeah I guess I do. Why not you know? I know people don’t really like me on here but they use to. That’s been mostly due to group mentality. When things got really bad for me it was kinda set in place that I was making shit up and doing everything for attention. That changed everything for me here. I just don’t if I can ever. feel like myself here again. I’m trying hoping it’s gets better. Apparently I’m a better experience in person
