I feel trapped, and have no way out.... Help me

[Cateturry3turrycan]

She was someone i met thru a mutual female friend who buys her boi from her. That mutual friend one day got arrested and i without missing a beat began THE snowball into full on intravenous heroine addiction.

She called me crying her eyes out trapped 300 miles away after a deal went south and ber ride bailed. I alone mounted her rescue and upon bringng her back to my apartment i told her she was staying with me.


See i did and still find her atttactive but lets be real she was my heroine dealer. She setup shop trapping out of my place. Id begun to do nearly all her runs as she keeps me high all day. This has gome on for 2 months now... We decided officially we were together. Changing ur status after 7 years of being alone on facebook is a huge deal.

As cliché as it may be.

Certain things have begun manifesting.. The first thing she goes to if she feels slighted in any way is how shes no longer giving me dope. To ' enjoy the sick ' .

She constantly passed out in bed after shooting burning huge cigarette burns into my serta mattress that i saved u to buy....

(Unrelated: best decision id ever made.. In my preheroine addiction days l the purchase of that mattress changed everything Go lay on something as dangerously comfortable and tell me im wrong)


After nodding she wakes up to become irate that shes missing dope she couldn't possibly have done.. And im always the thief... This happens every morning.. Ive neved taken any from her she didnt give me. Thats something i can't fucking prove though.

She becomes so hateful when she talks to me .

She bitches about her phone messing up yet refuses to let me examine it.. I build gaming rigs as a hobby .
Why wouldnt she let me just try

She has lupus yet refuses to better any aspect pf her life. She says she was given 20 years ..22 years ago... And she has just this fatalistic attitude towards it.

But she has two kids she has to let her parents raise due to her drug addiction.. But. Im not a parent so bringing them into the points im making here is foolish so

She has been raped on multiple occasions. Molested by her father... Who is raising her daughter....

But she keeps bringing up how im a liae and thief...when i do my best to never lie and i damn sure am no thief.

Theres a lot more i am hesitant to bring up on the first post of this because sometimes these are unanswered...

Im not addicted so badly that in 12 hours ill begin getting the sweats and shakes. Im not looking just to feel well most mornings ..

I know if i threw her out id be throwing my guts up in withdrawal.. I hear day 3 is the worst


Lost in all this is i finally get to fall asleep holding someone again. I finally found someone i can share my life with Its been so many lonely years

My life has lost all meaning. Beccause maybe i deserve the way she does me.

She pays no rent. She buys no groceries. Pays no utllities.. I make her runs sometimes netting $4000 a day

Yet im easily just a thief

Help

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

She was someone i met thru a mutual female friend who buys her boi from her. That mutual friend one day got arrested and i without missing a beat began THE snowball into full on intravenous heroine addiction.

She called me crying her eyes out trapped 300 miles away after a deal went south and ber ride bailed. I alone mounted her rescue and upon bringng her back to my apartment i told her she was staying with me.


See i did and still find her atttactive but lets be real she was my heroine dealer. She setup shop trapping out of my place. Id begun to do nearly all her runs as she keeps me high all day. This has gome on for 2 months now... We decided officially we were together. Changing ur status after 7 years of being alone on facebook is a huge deal.

As cliché as it may be.

Certain things have begun manifesting.. The first thing she goes to if she feels slighted in any way is how shes no longer giving me dope. To ' enjoy the sick ' .

She constantly passed out in bed after shooting burning huge cigarette burns into my serta mattress that i saved u to buy....

(Unrelated: best decision id ever made.. In my preheroine addiction days l the purchase of that mattress changed everything Go lay on something as dangerously comfortable and tell me im wrong)


After nodding she wakes up to become irate that shes missing dope she couldn't possibly have done.. And im always the thief... This happens every morning.. Ive neved taken any from her she didnt give me. Thats something i can't fucking prove though.

She becomes so hateful when she talks to me .

She bitches about her phone messing up yet refuses to let me examine it.. I build gaming rigs as a hobby .
Why wouldnt she let me just try

She has lupus yet refuses to better any aspect pf her life. She says she was given 20 years ..22 years ago... And she has just this fatalistic attitude towards it.

But she has two kids she has to let her parents raise due to her drug addiction.. But. Im not a parent so bringing them into the points im making here is foolish so

She has been raped on multiple occasions. Molested by her father... Who is raising her daughter....

But she keeps bringing up how im a liae and thief...when i do my best to never lie and i damn sure am no thief.

Theres a lot more i am hesitant to bring up on the first post of this because sometimes these are unanswered...

Im not addicted so badly that in 12 hours ill begin getting the sweats and shakes. Im not looking just to feel well most mornings ..

I know if i threw her out id be throwing my guts up in withdrawal.. I hear day 3 is the worst


Lost in all this is i finally get to fall asleep holding someone again. I finally found someone i can share my life with Its been so many lonely years

My life has lost all meaning. Beccause maybe i deserve the way she does me.

She pays no rent. She buys no groceries. Pays no utllities.. I make her runs sometimes netting $4000 a day

Yet im easily just a thief

Help

Keep the $ from the runs you deserve it!

Also kick her out and find another dealer, or get on suboxone. You do not deserve to be abused or manipulated this way.

 

[nznity]

She was someone i met thru a mutual female friend who buys her boi from her. That mutual friend one day got arrested and i without missing a beat began THE snowball into full on intravenous heroine addiction.

She called me crying her eyes out trapped 300 miles away after a deal went south and ber ride bailed. I alone mounted her rescue and upon bringng her back to my apartment i told her she was staying with me.


See i did and still find her atttactive but lets be real she was my heroine dealer. She setup shop trapping out of my place. Id begun to do nearly all her runs as she keeps me high all day. This has gome on for 2 months now... We decided officially we were together. Changing ur status after 7 years of being alone on facebook is a huge deal.

As cliché as it may be.

Certain things have begun manifesting.. The first thing she goes to if she feels slighted in any way is how shes no longer giving me dope. To ' enjoy the sick ' .

She constantly passed out in bed after shooting burning huge cigarette burns into my serta mattress that i saved u to buy....

(Unrelated: best decision id ever made.. In my preheroine addiction days l the purchase of that mattress changed everything Go lay on something as dangerously comfortable and tell me im wrong)


After nodding she wakes up to become irate that shes missing dope she couldn't possibly have done.. And im always the thief... This happens every morning.. Ive neved taken any from her she didnt give me. Thats something i can't fucking prove though.

She becomes so hateful when she talks to me .

She bitches about her phone messing up yet refuses to let me examine it.. I build gaming rigs as a hobby .
Why wouldnt she let me just try

She has lupus yet refuses to better any aspect pf her life. She says she was given 20 years ..22 years ago... And she has just this fatalistic attitude towards it.

But she has two kids she has to let her parents raise due to her drug addiction.. But. Im not a parent so bringing them into the points im making here is foolish so

She has been raped on multiple occasions. Molested by her father... Who is raising her daughter....

But she keeps bringing up how im a liae and thief...when i do my best to never lie and i damn sure am no thief.

Theres a lot more i am hesitant to bring up on the first post of this because sometimes these are unanswered...

Im not addicted so badly that in 12 hours ill begin getting the sweats and shakes. Im not looking just to feel well most mornings ..

I know if i threw her out id be throwing my guts up in withdrawal.. I hear day 3 is the worst


Lost in all this is i finally get to fall asleep holding someone again. I finally found someone i can share my life with Its been so many lonely years

My life has lost all meaning. Beccause maybe i deserve the way she does me.

She pays no rent. She buys no groceries. Pays no utllities.. I make her runs sometimes netting $4000 a day

Yet im easily just a thief

Help

fuck that shit man, that girl has a lot of issues i don't blame her but this is gonna end up very bad man....End this lil vacation before it gets worse.

 

[Joey]

Has anything happened here since Monday?

Take your cash from the runs and throw her the hell out man. Go to detox if you can you can get through this. Methadone isnt a bad option either, just drop this conniving bitch man. She taking you on a run.

Lupus generally isnt 20 years life expectancy. Ive looked into it before because my dad has bloodwork showing he may have it and Ive had some autoimmune issues lately too, most likely since this fucked up virus nearly knocked me out lately and Im seeing a rheumatologist in Sept. 20 and I suspect it possibly in myself

20 years never came up, I read more like 40 and looking it up now I just found this..

What is my life expectancy if I have lupus?

With ongoing treatment, a person with lupus can expect to live a long, high-quality life. This article explores how lupus can affect different parts of the body.

www.medicalnewstoday.com

"lupus organizations estimate that 80 to 90 percent of people with lupus will have a normal life expectancy."

Cant say I know her case or anything but I wouldnt be surprised if its just a tool in her arsenal to use. Know what I mean?

Even if you dont take your cut doing her fuckin workk for her and providing the "trap" house, just get rid of her. This sounds incredibly toxic for you. Reading your post, I think I can say you know you dont want this, at all.

Shes a player, seriously playing you anyway.

 

[sigmond]

I know this is an old thread but I have met many addicts who are constantly accusing others of stealing their stuff. The last girl I tried to hang out with would accuse me of diluting her drugs, or even switching them with noxious chemicals. You gotta get away from people like this immediately.

I too feel trapped, by my family and poverty. I have a mother who guilt trips me every time I try to get away from her; I find this infuriating and really fucking weird. I am way too old to be putting up with dumb shit like this.

I’ve come to realize both my mother and brother are psychopaths who are unable to see others as human beings. I ended up wasting my life trying to be good to people who were unable to love or care enough to understand and respect me. I hope you find better people to keep in your life.

 

[arrall]

I too feel trapped, by my family and poverty. I have a mother who guilt trips me every time I try to get away from her; I find this infuriating and really fucking weird. I am way too old to be putting up with dumb shit like this.

I’ve come to realize both my mother and brother are psychopaths who are unable to see others as human beings. I ended up wasting my life trying to be good to people who were unable to love or care enough to understand and respect me. I hope you find better people to keep in your life.

I'm really sorry to hear that, and have had similar experiences with my parents. You deserve better than that. Even if you feel like you've "wasted your life" on them, you still have time left no matter how old you are. If you'd like, I'd be happy to send you some resources on recovering and healing from narcissistic parents.

Feel free to start a thread here if you would like to further talk about what you've gone through/are going through.

 

[sigmond]

Thank you for the response and I appreciate the offer of support. I am okay, I just wish I would've been able to get out of my situation before it caused the lasting damage that I have to deal with now. I don't need help atm but thanks again for the offer.

I think many people get trapped in terrible relationships because the emotional bonds they formed exercise control over their ability to reason. I know with my mother, I was hopeful one day she would support the things I wanted to do, rather than try to hinder my progress and sabotage everything she disagreed with. Eventually I realized she is unable to feel happy for another person. She never matured enough to do so, and probably never will.

I should've gave up on the relationship at least 10, if not, 20 years ago.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Thank you for the response and I appreciate the offer of support. I am okay, I just wish I would've been able to get out of my situation before it caused the lasting damage that I have to deal with now. I don't need help atm but thanks again for the offer.

I think many people get trapped in terrible relationships because the emotional bonds they formed exercise control over their ability to reason. I know with my mother, I was hopeful one day she would support the things I wanted to do, rather than try to hinder my progress and sabotage everything she disagreed with. Eventually I realized she is unable to feel happy for another person. She never matured enough to do so, and probably never will.

I should've gave up on the relationship at least 10, if not, 20 years ago.

She honestly sounds a lot like my husband's mother. It took my husband a very long and painful 30 years to figure out that his mum is a narcissistic sociopath, and that he never actually did anything wrong, it was his mum fucking him up mentally and emotionally. He then had to make the decision to cut ties with her. It was painful, confusing, difficult, but it was the BEST thing he's done for his mental health and healing

 

[sigmond]

Thank you for the response.

I should add that I’m certainly not innocent. Unlike them, I have owned up to my mistakes and I don’t outright blame my family for how my life has gone. It’s just an undeniable truth that many of my problems stem from the treatment I received. And neither one of them ever took any responsibility. In their eyes I deserved it, because they see me as less human.

Another reason I have tried to mend the broken relationships is because I feel they add meaning to my life. It was difficult to live knowing my family was rooting against me. I understand now, especially over the last 10 years, I trapped myself in a sunk cost fallacy situation, which was hopeless from the start.

I didn’t mean to Hi-jack this thread. I appreciate the replies and I don’t need any extra support. Thanks again.

 

[HatingThisLife]

If I was you I would steal enough dope from her to taper down and then go on the run and keep the money and tell her to get the f*** out. But the problem with that is that technically you have to evict her and if she wants to be an a****** that can get ugly. Alternatively you could steal all of her dope and all of her money and tell her to go f*** herself and then you'll have plenty to pay any back bills or anything or even to take yourself to rehab you don't have to do all the dope you can sell it I don't know but to me it sounds like she's using you for a place to live she doesn't really care about you all that much and she's just a sorry-ass junkie b**** and I'm a female this is coming from let me ask you a question do you guys have sex or you do you just hold her when you sleep? Because if y'all ain't even f****** then you need to just steal all her s*** and kick her the f*** out