Man, I have been exactly where you are/were when posting this. I just wanted to say that the solution is almost definitly to get clean. I was at that point and did the same thing you said, using drugs to fill the emptiness. This was years ago, when i was a teenager living at home in high school. I was very social and had a lot of good friends, but i started using heroin and crack at 16. After a year i was at the point that you described. I was on the verge of suicide when my parents sent me to a wilderness program, then treatment, sober house, etc. Once I got clean, and learned how to live a productive life while sober, I got everything back. I made new friends, was social and happy again, worked a good job and actually cared about life again. This was a long while ago and I am using again and have had bumps in the road since then, but i just wanted to make the point that getting clean and working towards recovery gave me hope back and made me grateful for my life and everything in it, which I still am to this day.