I haven't used my D.O.C (heroin) in over a month.
I feel better than ever, my grades are improving, and have gained good weight and even some muscle and i'm going to the gym every other day, eating right and beginning to feel enjoyment for simple pleasures in life (increased sex drive, music, reading).
Yet, for some reason, I STILL have this little voice in the back of my head telling me that when I go to NYC this Thursday (for the weekend) that I should cop a bundle. What's wrong? I'm on the path to happiness but I still want heroin...
I know there's a point in ones recovery always where one feels competent in their ability to judge whether or not they will be able to use their doc recreationally and responsibly (becoming chippers), this is the longest I've been off of dope since December of 2009, transferring from a heavy IV cocaine habit.
I'm not so much concerned about the hellish withdrawals that may accompany my use if I should dive off the deep end, but rather the mental/physical stagnation which accompanies regular use and disatisfaction with living.
I've relocated successfully from The Bronx (my hometown) to a college 20 minutes from Canada, so there's substancial distance between me and my usual area, so after copping I doubt I would go the distance every week just to get more, I don't have the funds for that, I don't even have a car.
What I'm trying to say is, do you think it would be okay to use (Just until the bundle runs out) again? I won't be heading to nyc for at least a month after this. I've been opiate free for over a month, I did about five grams of cocaine three weekends ago socially with some friends (I didn't IV). Other than that, I've smoked pot and drank beer every weekend at a few parties.
Thank you.
I feel better than ever, my grades are improving, and have gained good weight and even some muscle and i'm going to the gym every other day, eating right and beginning to feel enjoyment for simple pleasures in life (increased sex drive, music, reading).
Yet, for some reason, I STILL have this little voice in the back of my head telling me that when I go to NYC this Thursday (for the weekend) that I should cop a bundle. What's wrong? I'm on the path to happiness but I still want heroin...
I know there's a point in ones recovery always where one feels competent in their ability to judge whether or not they will be able to use their doc recreationally and responsibly (becoming chippers), this is the longest I've been off of dope since December of 2009, transferring from a heavy IV cocaine habit.
I'm not so much concerned about the hellish withdrawals that may accompany my use if I should dive off the deep end, but rather the mental/physical stagnation which accompanies regular use and disatisfaction with living.
I've relocated successfully from The Bronx (my hometown) to a college 20 minutes from Canada, so there's substancial distance between me and my usual area, so after copping I doubt I would go the distance every week just to get more, I don't have the funds for that, I don't even have a car.
What I'm trying to say is, do you think it would be okay to use (Just until the bundle runs out) again? I won't be heading to nyc for at least a month after this. I've been opiate free for over a month, I did about five grams of cocaine three weekends ago socially with some friends (I didn't IV). Other than that, I've smoked pot and drank beer every weekend at a few parties.
Thank you.