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I don't understand females...

DrugOmen

DrugOmen

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 2, 2009
Messages
502
Location
SC
OK guys I'm the fucked up one that started that friends with benefits thread.

I'm in another shitty situation and feeling depressed. So some of you know I technically have a gf of 5 years but I haven't even talked to her in 3 weeks or seen her in like 5 months. I don't know what's going on but I think I'm going to have to let her go even though I still love her. I really hope shr is OK though. I've been worried about her.

OK so on to the point of this thread.

So I have this absolutely gorgeous neighbor but I had never talked to her. She's 26 years old and I'm 28. She more the age I'm looking doe, me being 28 and my technically gf being 35.

So last Wednesday she came up to me and asked if I could teach her guitar and get her number. She said that to break the ice. She told me she's been wanting me to talk to her for a long time but I didn't so she finally worked up the courage to talk to me.

So anyway things were going great and we were really enjoying each others company and hitting it off really well. Friday night we spent time together and we kissed and were bonding great. I was so freakin happy and amazed that such a beautiful girl actually pursued me first.

Well yesterday while I was at work she texted me and told me that she thinks we should stop talking all together because she isn't ready for a relationship right now. When we first started talking she was telling me she doesn't want to get hurt and that she was looking for something serious and I was down foe that too.

I don't understand for the life of me what changed in her mind in literally 12 hours. She did a complete 180 and she did to me exactly what she didn't want done to her. She already for my feelings involved then she just ended it right there and then.

Does anyone who understands the female mind better than me have any ideas as to why the sudden and drastic change in thoughts and feelings?

The only thing I can think of is it was getting too real for her and her feelings were getting too strong and she got scared so she put a stop to it before things gor more serious.

I just dont understand how she could be looking for something serious and then when things start building up steam she just changed her tune 100%.

If anyone has any thoughts or advice for me I would really appreciate it, thanks.
 
Dude it sounds like she may want to see if your gonna just say "whatever fuck it" and move on. Chicks tend to test us in that way if thay have been hurt before to see if you are willing to (try hard to be with her). To see if your worth putting her heart into. I can't see any other way her mind would switch that fast especially if you guys were really hitting it off like you say
 
You don't need women perspective, trust me :) Read * no spam please* Sex, Love and Realtionship in 21st Century and watch video at the end of page (video by Austing Institute about huge research about male-female relations). That explaining excatly what you are asking and I am sure that you will understand her behaviour, especially when we consider your and her ages :)
 
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Modocmodoc no she didn't but yesterday I got a hunch to what it could have been.

I just graduated drug court on Tuesday. She probably Google's my name. The need didn't have to good of things to say about me back a year and a half ago.
 
Propably an other man, or some stuff she noticed on you and she didn't like.
 
Shes a neighbour and lives too close should shit hit the fan.

My mate has a hot fireman neighbour and would have been with him had he not lived next door.

Too much hassle.
 
Who knows why she changed her mind? It's not a "female" thing, this is her thing. Before you start trying to move on to neighbors and any other girl, it's best to finally end the relationship with your girlfriend of 5 years. You're just stringing her along while you're messing around with other women. It's not right and it's probably why things aren't working out for you with new women.
 
Its not entirely a bad thing, men not understanding women. Women understand women and they fucking hate each other=D
 
DrugOmen said:
OK guys I'm the fucked up one that started that friends with benefits thread.

I'm in another shitty situation and feeling depressed. So some of you know I technically have a gf of 5 years but I haven't even talked to her in 3 weeks or seen her in like 5 months. I don't know what's going on but I think I'm going to have to let her go even though I still love her. I really hope shr is OK though. I've been worried about her.

OK so on to the point of this thread.

So I have this absolutely gorgeous neighbor but I had never talked to her. She's 26 years old and I'm 28. She more the age I'm looking doe, me being 28 and my technically gf being 35.

So last Wednesday she came up to me and asked if I could teach her guitar and get her number. She said that to break the ice. She told me she's been wanting me to talk to her for a long time but I didn't so she finally worked up the courage to talk to me.

So anyway things were going great and we were really enjoying each others company and hitting it off really well. Friday night we spent time together and we kissed and were bonding great. I was so freakin happy and amazed that such a beautiful girl actually pursued me first.

Well yesterday while I was at work she texted me and told me that she thinks we should stop talking all together because she isn't ready for a relationship right now. When we first started talking she was telling me she doesn't want to get hurt and that she was looking for something serious and I was down foe that too.

I don't understand for the life of me what changed in her mind in literally 12 hours. She did a complete 180 and she did to me exactly what she didn't want done to her. She already for my feelings involved then she just ended it right there and then.

Does anyone who understands the female mind better than me have any ideas as to why the sudden and drastic change in thoughts and feelings?

The only thing I can think of is it was getting too real for her and her feelings were getting too strong and she got scared so she put a stop to it before things gor more serious.

I just dont understand how she could be looking for something serious and then when things start building up steam she just changed her tune 100%.

If anyone has any thoughts or advice for me I would really appreciate it, thanks.
Click to expand...

How can you have a girlfriend that you haven't seen in five months? Do you mean that you literally haven't seen her?

If I hadn't seen a girl in even weeks I'd seriously be questioning whether or not we were actually even in a relationship, and probably long before that too.
 
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Have you heard the saying "Don't shit where you eat" before?
Yeah, that........
Just my female perspective, for what it's worth ��
 
Limpet_Chicken said:
Its not entirely a bad thing, men not understanding women. Women understand women and they fucking hate each other=D
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LMAO!! I used to work with a bunch of women and they gossiped about each other nonstop, then smiled in the person's face when they walked in. So fake. These were much older women too acting like they were in high school, it's like grow up already! Sorry, off topic.

OP, when you get ahold of your girlfriend are you going to break up? Obviously she's not what you want. In your other thread, you said she threatened to kill herself if you broke up, but you can't let her manipulate you that way. Be done with it already. Clean slate. Then you can move on without cheating on her.
 
Although there is much more reading about women than theory of relativity I am sure I won't ever understand either well.
 
^ That advice sounds like a defeatist attitude.

CoastTwoCoast said:
Before you start trying to move on to neighbors and any other girl, it's best to finally end the relationship with your girlfriend of 5 years. You're just stringing her along while you're messing around with other women. It's not right and it's probably why things aren't working out for you with new women.
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This x100

OP is a creep.
 
w01fg4ng said:
^ That advice sounds like a defeatist attitude.

This x100

OP is a creep.
Click to expand...

Actually I'm not a creep. No body is perfect and this place helps me vent.

I know I shared some stuff about my life but you really don't know how I am everyday in my life.
 
I thought it was pretty obvious what was going on, you just cant have your cake and eat it too .


Had it occurred to you to be honest with your situation, maybe she would have taken a risk at her peril but why bother when you're clearly involved elsewhere? Females dont like being on a female buffet.
 
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