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I don't really like this girl but we're dating...

LogicSoDeveloped

LogicSoDeveloped

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 12, 2010
Messages
3,428
Location
The Mountains
So about a month ago, I met this girl at the club. We were both drunk. We made out and stuff and then I found her on fb (mutual acquaintance) and eventually we met up and went on a date.

She made me feel uncomfortable by pretty much pushing me to ask her out in front of her friends and shit, literally the first time we hung out besides the night we met at the club.

The next time we hung out, I felt pretty much pushed into asking her to be my girlfriend by her putting me on the spot in front of her friends, so I did. She's kind of immature and gets on my nerves. She's kind of clingy too. I am pretty attracted to her physically but beyond that, I'm really not. We currently live 2 hours apart but that will probably change within a few weeks when we move to the same town for college since I should be transferring there in about a months time.

Like for example, last night, I was taking an exam online. I told her this. 2 hours after she last texted me, she texted me again saying just my name. I explained to her that I had been taking my exam...stuff like this bothers me. I don't like dating someone so attached and clingy. It gets on my nerves. She also calls me "love," and has been since we started dating which I don't understand either.

She doesn't drive and yet, though I drive 2 hours to go spend time with my grandmother and then its another 25 miles each way to her house, she bitched when I wouldn't drive a total of 120 miles just to go see her at her friends house. Even though I live several hours away and we don't get to spend that much time together, she'll text the entire time we're hanging out and I find that VERY rude. She's also pretty boring.

She just got out of a serious relationship a few months ago and I feel like I'm a rebound.

I am 19 as is she though she recently turned 19 and I turn 20 soon.

Also, she says she doesn't want to have sex until she's in love whereas I prefer to have sex whenever I want. We haven't had sex but she does blow me every time we hang out, its just that I want sex. She has just had sex with one guy.

Also, she has cheated once before because "she got bored." This also bothers me. Beyond me not really liking her that much, I don't want to get cheated on either. I have never cheated on anyone.

Basically, I'm concerned that she will flip out when I dump her. I've also gotten threatened by a family member of hers as well as a couple friends of hers saying if I "hurt her, they will kick my ass, etc." and other violent things. Her older sister apparently

What should I do guys? I want to dump her but I don't know what to do. We've only been dating for about 2 weeks btw.
 
i think the longer you leave it, the worse it is.
it sounds like you're living in bad faith - not only for her, but for you as well.
she sounds like a handful...like you're filling a void for her. it's one thing to hang out, fool around, do things together, but the boyfriend/girlfriend thing - asking you in front of her friends - but no sex? mmmm, doesn't sound worth it.

the threats from her family/friends is certainly troubling, but this is all the more reason to get the fuck out, in my opinion. not a reason to stick around and 'spare her feelings'. i think the only way to spare her feelings is to be honest with her.

if you wanted to weasel out of it, you could do something that will make her not want to be with you (i don't mean cheating, by the way) but this could easily backfire.
it's only been two weeks, but any longer and you're likely to lead her along.

i think you need to be assertive, and next time she really oversteps the line, tell her. if she can't handle that, maybe she'll give you some space or - better still - split.

sounds like she's the last thing that you need at the moment...get out while you still can!
 
LogicSoDeveloped said:
So about a month ago, I met this girl at the club. We were both drunk. We made out and stuff and then I found her on fb (mutual acquaintance) and eventually we met up and went on a date.

She made me feel uncomfortable by pretty much pushing me to ask her out in front of her friends and shit, literally the first time we hung out besides the night we met at the club.
NSFW:

The next time we hung out, I felt pretty much pushed into asking her to be my girlfriend by her putting me on the spot in front of her friends, so I did. She's kind of immature and gets on my nerves. She's kind of clingy too. I am pretty attracted to her physically but beyond that, I'm really not. We currently live 2 hours apart but that will probably change within a few weeks when we move to the same town for college since I should be transferring there in about a months time.

Like for example, last night, I was taking an exam online. I told her this. 2 hours after she last texted me, she texted me again saying just my name. I explained to her that I had been taking my exam...stuff like this bothers me. I don't like dating someone so attached and clingy. It gets on my nerves. She also calls me "love," and has been since we started dating which I don't understand either.

She doesn't drive and yet, though I drive 2 hours to go spend time with my grandmother and then its another 25 miles each way to her house, she bitched when I wouldn't drive a total of 120 miles just to go see her at her friends house. Even though I live several hours away and we don't get to spend that much time together, she'll text the entire time we're hanging out and I find that VERY rude. She's also pretty boring.

She just got out of a serious relationship a few months ago and I feel like I'm a rebound.

I am 19 as is she though she recently turned 19 and I turn 20 soon.

Also, she says she doesn't want to have sex until she's in love whereas I prefer to have sex whenever I want. We haven't had sex but she does blow me every time we hang out, its just that I want sex. She has just had sex with one guy.

Also, she has cheated once before because "she got bored." This also bothers me. Beyond me not really liking her that much, I don't want to get cheated on either. I have never cheated on anyone.

Basically, I'm concerned that she will flip out when I dump her. I've also gotten threatened by a family member of hers as well as a couple friends of hers saying if I "hurt her, they will kick my ass, etc." and other violent things. Her older sister apparently

What should I do guys? I want to dump her but I don't know what to do. We've only been dating for about 2 weeks btw.
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too much complication. you want to dump her? do it and man up while you at it. Ya don't need anymore hassle than you have already in this life.
 
Nobody should feel bullied into a relationship. Just tell her you aren't interested in dating her anymore and get it over with quickly before you end up married. lol
 
Just break up with her. She's obviously not right for you.
As for the threats ... I think that happens a lot but it's supposed to be in a different tone ... they literally won't hurt you ... but they want to scare you to make sure you treat her well.
Break up with her now before it gets serious!! :P
 
As everyone else has said.
Break Up With Her...

Just ignore her friends and family's threats, just be gentle about the whole thing. Keep her feelings intact, but just let her know it isn't going to work. Don't tell her the truth to why your dumping her. Just be subtle and say a classic breakup line. "It just isn't working for me.", "I'm to busy with ____ and ____ I just don't have time for a relationship"... etc... because saying, "Your clingy, kind of rude and you won't let me have sex with you". Would put your breakup in a dark state and you would be classed as a bit of a bastard.
 
Go find the one you're destined for. It doesn't sound as if she is the one.
 
I would break up with her. She cheated on you, and there are the other issues too.

No do not break up with her via text message.
 
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Meet up with her, and tell her it was fun while it lasted.
 
LogicSoDeveloped said:
Also, would dumping via text message be appropriate?
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dumping somebody via text message is low. just meet her in person and tell her you don't want to be with her anymore. if you are worried about how she'll react, do it in a public place.

you've been together a few weeks. you'll both get over it.

alasdair
 
^^ Seconded.

Call her at least, be a man, seriously. Text message break-ups are fit for a pussy. You 'acquiesced' her desires to become a couple initially, at least have the testicular fortitude to handle this correctly! And good luck
 
I can understand you're worried about the threats, but there's no way to avoid this possibility (though I don't think it's likely) - you're either going to hurt her a bit now or more later. I would probably say something like 'I don't think I'm able to be the kind of partner that you deserve and I wanted to let you know as soon as possible'.
 
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