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I caught my girlfriend rubbing one off (also; Women, what kind of porn do you watch?)

I would love kids, in theory, though in practice I'm not so sure it's a good idea (for various reasons like, will they inherent my addictive personality, am I willing to actually to host birthday party, go to endless events etc, will a war with China break out in the year 2045, etc.).

With girlfriend I'm content in my lack of discontentedness. But obviously it leaves me with a kind of emptiness. But it also leaves me more stable and less likely to abuse drugs to cope with the ups and downs that are inevitable with a more intense, passionate relationship. I have bad coping skills.

I've actually wondered before, not in actual actionable sense, if perhaps I'd be best with polygamy (multiple wives). Not because of any sexual benefits but rather due to fact that I like having emotional relationships with woman. All women are so different, and I'm such a varied person that I like women who are extroverted, warm and lighthearted, but I also like women who are pensive, introverted and troubled/complex. Also physically I have no type, not even with regard to race. When i close my eyes and try to picture the perfect woman, I can't come up with anything.

Not that I'm going to start practicing polygamy, which sounds like exhausting in practice, but conceptually it sounds nice in some regards. Maybe part of it is the drug addict part of me, because I love that feeling of falling in love, the high is incredible. You go to sleep feeling it and wake up and jump right out of bed with a skip in your step. The comedown however is horrendous, it's been the cause of every drug relapse I ever had.
Would you ever consider open sperm donation, with some involvement in the children’s life, to a degree you found comfortable?

Your feelings regarding your relationship are exactly as I’d imagined, but the self-awareness regarding its benefits are interesting. Though one could argue that’s a cope for being in a suboptimal relationship.

Re polygamy, you sound a lot like my manwhore friend! He loves women, emoptionally as well as sexually. He loves the variety, novelty, & constant interactions. He doesn’t really have a type either. Have you ever been in a relationship with a woman that was immensely satisfying in most of not all majar regards?

Falling in love is amazing, but imo, the honeymoon phase is only a phase for those aren’t superbly matched. Ofc, that is most couples. Enduring excitement IS possible; I had it with my husband.
 
You're right I didn't read anything barely even skimmed..was on a good one..my bad man
 
what can you say. She seems very interested in you and very romantic. I guess you are in her heart more than gang of bangs.

You should get a kitty kat. ( a gato ) Sounds like a nice set up. (set) Sweet. 👅:rolleyes:




See how art, dancing, and music, just brings everybody together 💓👋️ Y'all get busy! 🎉
 
I don't watch porn but if my guy is out of town working i think of him. He's the most beautiful specimen of a man

I wonder that too; what is my girlfriend thinking about during sex? Is she thinking about me or someone else or who knows what.

Again, before 9 guys chime in here to call me insecure, the reason why I wonder what (or who) she's thinking about during sex simply for the reason that as an intensely curious person (almost pathologically curious) I wonder about everything in life. It isn't because I'm worried she isnt thinking about me. I wonder because I wonder.

I wonder what percentage of woman are "in the moment", compared to those fantasizing about other people. The best sex/most sexy girlfriend I have ever had was a 5'10", very pretty Nigerian woman, everything she did had a sexiness to her, the way she moved, spoke, even just washing dishes. And sexually she moved in a very erotic dance-like fashion, and interestingly, though this might be too much info, she was incredibly tight down there (which I admit, before I slept with her, I did wonder how'd I'd measure up since while I have some heft for a white guy, she had been with straight up African dudes so I was curious). And though I know that the correlation between tightness and usage isn't well-established, to my surprise she was shockingly tight down there, I would have ti use a finger or two to dilate it a bit beforehand before trying to slip in there (which is still what I often do to my current girlfriend before for her comfort, who despite being 4'11" tall is still very substantially less tight than my 5'10" tall nigerian ex).

In any case, she's the only ex I really miss in a sexual sense, but while I've tried, I can't really fantasizing about her during sex with my current girlfriend, who is a foot shorter, and fairly curvy (whereas the 5'10" nigerian ex was tall and slender, like a model, but as a black woman with the right curves in the right places). She kind of fucked me up as far as women go as far as sex. I've had sex with American black girls, but none of them were like her. She actually invited me to go get coffee not too long ago but I had to turn her down as I would have been unable to keep my hands off of her if I saw her. Long story short, though I've tried a couple of times, fantasizing about her during sex with my girlfriend is impossible (unless you have the world's best imagination)
 
You're right I didn't read anything barely even skimmed..was on a good one..my bad man

It's all good, i was obviously on one when I wrote all this shit. I can't expect that many people will actually read through the multiple ten paragraph-long posts/rants that I've scattered throughout this weird thread of mine
 
Bulges that can't be beat at all gyms, 10 hours non stop sex , sure than you woke up!

It's actually kind of disturbing what happened to her lady parts after those. Essentially, after that much continued sex that thin skin in the vagina (that sort of "grips" and is temporarily pulled out temporarily during the act of sex) actually stays sort of partially outside from inflammation. It looked very pain and she said it hurt. I really regret those drug fueled sex binges, that was a weird period of time. She doesn't like thinking about it either.
 
It's actually kind of disturbing what happened to her lady parts after those. Essentially, after that much continued sex that thin skin in the vagina (that sort of "grips" and is temporarily pulled out temporarily during the act of sex) actually stays sort of partially outside from inflammation. It looked very pain and she said it hurt. I really regret those drug fueled sex binges, that was a weird period of time. She doesn't like thinking about it either.
You mean the mud flaps right? I know what your talking about but I'll digress. You wouldn't be called John Holmes right?/?>
 
I knew a crew that was into the trains and would wait in line for this one woman who would do 5 guys and her private parts would stay open for days. One of the guys that was always at the end of the line would talk about the smell and how bad it was when the ass would stay open. I didn't think about this until now with your post. Nasty right? That's why the ass is an exit NOT an enter. It's meant to take a dump that's all. Also the sex on drugs can ruin a relationship. It's not natural so it brings in evil spirits of lust and not to mention fornication. Even if you don't believe it's still real. There is a spirit world and the evil spirits hate the human race. I say if you love this woman marry her. If not it will end in a bad way. This due to many years of experiences and seeing others relationships ruined due to unnatural relations.
 
I wonder that too; what is my girlfriend thinking about during sex? Is she thinking about me or someone else or who knows what.

Again, before 9 guys chime in here to call me insecure, the reason why I wonder what (or who) she's thinking about during sex simply for the reason that as an intensely curious person (almost pathologically curious) I wonder about everything in life. It isn't because I'm worried she isnt thinking about me. I wonder because I wonder.

I wonder what percentage of woman are "in the moment", compared to those fantasizing about other people. The best sex/most sexy girlfriend I have ever had was a 5'10", very pretty Nigerian woman, everything she did had a sexiness to her, the way she moved, spoke, even just washing dishes. And sexually she moved in a very erotic dance-like fashion, and interestingly, though this might be too much info, she was incredibly tight down there (which I admit, before I slept with her, I did wonder how'd I'd measure up since while I have some heft for a white guy, she had been with straight up African dudes so I was curious). And though I know that the correlation between tightness and usage isn't well-established, to my surprise she was shockingly tight down there, I would have ti use a finger or two to dilate it a bit beforehand before trying to slip in there (which is still what I often do to my current girlfriend before for her comfort, who despite being 4'11" tall is still very substantially less tight than my 5'10" tall nigerian ex).

In any case, she's the only ex I really miss in a sexual sense, but while I've tried, I can't really fantasizing about her during sex with my current girlfriend, who is a foot shorter, and fairly curvy (whereas the 5'10" nigerian ex was tall and slender, like a model, but as a black woman with the right curves in the right places). She kind of fucked me up as far as women go as far as sex. I've had sex with American black girls, but none of them were like her. She actually invited me to go get coffee not too long ago but I had to turn her down as I would have been unable to keep my hands off of her if I saw her. Long story short, though I've tried a couple of times, fantasizing about her during sex with my girlfriend is impossible (unless you have the world's best imagination)
I’m always in the moment during sex (intercourse especially). it’s like a switch gets flipped and my brain just turns off, or at least the part that thinks/my internal monologue. It’s fantastic, because it enables me to fully immerse and enjoy myself. And as I’ve mentioned, I can’t even fantasise when I masturbate. I can & do fantasise otherwise, & I can get really aroused as a result, very rarely have I ever tried to touch myself. I really suck at multitasking.

There is actually research showing that taller women are tighter! Black women tended to be looser and longer, but small sample size & only minor trends found in the study.
 
It's actually kind of disturbing what happened to her lady parts after those. Essentially, after that much continued sex that thin skin in the vagina (that sort of "grips" and is temporarily pulled out temporarily during the act of sex) actually stays sort of partially outside from inflammation. It looked very pain and she said it hurt. I really regret those drug fueled sex binges, that was a weird period of time. She doesn't like thinking about it either.
Yep, not a fan of longsexrape, as I call it.
 
It's all good, i was obviously on one when I wrote all this shit. I can't expect that many people will actually read through the multiple ten paragraph-long posts/rants that I've scattered throughout this weird thread of mine
I enjoy your long, intelligent, interesting posts. Probably mostly only neurodivergent high IQ people will fully appreciate them.

And I relate 💯 to your boundless curiosity. Inquisitiveness is SO underrated.
 
I’m always in the moment during sex (intercourse especially). it’s like a switch gets flipped and my brain just turns off, or at least the part that thinks/my internal monologue. It’s fantastic, because it enables me to fully immerse and enjoy myself. And as I’ve mentioned, I can’t even fantasise when I masturbate. I can & do fantasise otherwise, & I can get really aroused as a result, very rarely have I ever tried to touch myself. I really suck at multitasking.
I wonder that too; what is my girlfriend thinking about during sex? Is she thinking about me or someone else or who knows what.
It's fascinating that something which drives 99% of our personality psychology (at least for men) is so poorly understood.

@negrogesic I think you're overthinking it. I'm male but I agree with fairnymph; for me sex is like play, there isn't thinking required, and I love just falling open to another person. Masturbation just feels like watching TV, as opposed to sex being like outside watching nature.. the former strains your attention, the other replenishes it effortlessly - I don't feel like this analogy conveys all I want to say but it's the best I can think of right now.

Do you make much eye contact during sex? That to me is best part. We're so genital focused, especially as guys, and culture tries to reinforce this because it sells (and it's the only part of sex they can actually monetize). I remember having a girl with a real snapping pussy once, which was amazing, but the experiences I remember more are the intimate ones. Not to get too esoteric, but I can find myself getting inside their heads with the eye contact.. like the space between us as individuals is reduced to zero.. that to me is the real sex. But regardless, if you're making eye contact there isn't much room to be thinking of other people.
 
It's fascinating that something which drives 99% of our personality psychology (at least for men) is so poorly understood.

@negrogesic I think you're overthinking it. I'm male but I agree with fairnymph; for me sex is like play, there isn't thinking required, and I love just falling open to another person. Masturbation just feels like watching TV, as opposed to sex being like outside watching nature.. the former strains your attention, the other replenishes it effortlessly - I don't feel like this analogy conveys all I want to say but it's the best I can think of right now.

Do you make much eye contact during sex? That to me is best part. We're so genital focused, especially as guys, and culture tries to reinforce this because it sells (and it's the only part of sex they can actually monetize). I remember having a girl with a real snapping pussy once, which was amazing, but the experiences I remember more are the intimate ones. Not to get too esoteric, but I can find myself getting inside their heads with the eye contact.. like the space between us as individuals is reduced to zero.. that to me is the real sex. But regardless, if you're making eye contact there isn't much room to be thinking of other people.
What a fantastic description. I feel like I’m surrendering into my partner. And masturbation is so dry & technical vs the intense intimacy of sex. Eye contact & the non-physical connection takes everything to the next level.
 
So the other day my girlfriend slept on the couch because I had a meeting early the next morning and because I am such a light sleeper (if she moves around or even breathes too loud I can wake up) she offered to sleep on the couch as to not disturb me.

In my living room I have a couple cameras with night vision set up because we've been having mice sneak in and I have no idea how they're getting in so I've been trying to capture them on camera. My girlfriend knows about these cameras but I guess she forgot.

Because a few days later, when I was reviewing the footage, I see my girlfriend on the couch, lying down on her belly, and she's watching something on her ipad. Now there are multiple cameras so I could see multiple angles, including her face from the front and her from the side. It becomes clear in the video that she has one hand on her crotch while shes rubbing one out, and the expression on her face is clearly that of her masturbating. Aside from the ipad (which was playing something I couldn't identify -- it didnt look like normal porn but like a movie or something), she also had her phone out and the screen was white with some text on it. She was kind of looking at both back the ipad and phone and while rubbing it out until she finally got her nut off (which was clear by her facial expressions).

I'm no prude and I kind of thought it was funny, and she is hardly sex deprived (I dick her down almost daily, maybe 5-6 days a week -- it would be more if she could handle it). That night I did not dick her down though since i was busy preparing for the next days meeting. I have watched porn with her in the past a few years back when I was buying synthetic cathinones and other very horniness inducing stimulants, along with GHB and benzos etc. I sort of regret how far some of that chemsex went, cause it made normal sex a bit a weird after since we normally don't watch porn together or get that type of freaky (like 10 hour sex marathons and all that shit).

So I didn't really care, but of couse a few things crossed my mind. For instance, while I am packing quite abit of heat (especially in terms of girth, -- she usually can't handle more than 25 minutes of sustained pounding without it discomfort, unless alot of drugs are involved, yet even then it still hurts her but she stays horny enough to play through it), one thought I had was, how if what she was watching on her ipad was something like Blacked gangbang type shit, where abunch of fools with some seriously monster dongs are simultaneously going to town on some bitch. That is something I can't compete with. I thought that was not likely cause she can barely handle this dick, but it was still a thought. And then I thought, aside from what she's watching on her ipad, why does she keep looking at her phone, is she sexting some dude?

Well, I asked her. Turns out, she was watching Euphoria, the HBO series, which has alot of sex scenes. When I rewatched the footage it was obvious that she was indeed watching Euphoria. And as far as her phone? She was reading some erotica book that she got on some app called Galatea or something like that. She showed me the stuff she was reading. It was super lame. So all softcore stuff etc.

But I wonder, say she had been actually been watching some Blacked gangbangs? I wonder how I'd feel. I think it might bother me a bit because obviously, how does one man compete with 5 massive black dicks?

In any case, my question is, what kind of porn do you women watch?

I have a feeling that the younger generation of women, like teenagers or those in their early 20's are watching ALOT more hardcore porn than older women like my girlfriend (mid/late 20s and onward).

For instance, I moved recently to a suburban area and the new gym I go to is packed with very young people, like the majority are 16 to 22 or so. I happen to be a "shower" more than "grower" so my flaccid dick is especially large, especially in terns of flaccid girth. I mean it grows, but it doesnt triple in size. But in anycase, this means I just naturally walk around with very conspicious bulge in my pants. One would think ive got like a seriously monster 10 inch dick because of it (it is definitely bigger than average, its defintely not a 10 inch monster big). But compared to any gym ive ever been to, these women (and flat out girls in some cases, i mean some are in high school) seem really preoccupied my bulge. So much so that
its made me uncomfortable cause some of these girls are like 16 and im not about that life. Ive even had to stop wearing light grey pants and switch from boxers to boxer briefs to reduce the dick print. These girls even come up to me and ask me for my snapchat or instagram, im nice but i dont give them the info. I mean i'm a fairly handsome dude, and they must think I'm in 20s or something, but I think a big part of it is definitely the bulge. And basically, i think the reason is that younger girls are watching ALOT of porn. It's actually kind of fucked up. I mean I've had it happen of course at other gyms, but not like this. And not with then trying to chat me up or flirt, or intentionally go to whatever part of the gym I'm in to peek. My girlfriend goes to the gym with me too sometimes and she notices it as well, including once overhearing some girls talking about me in the locker room.

Yet again for second I thought, "damn how if she watching some Blacked gangbang or something like that"

But I'm curious to hear if I'm right. I don't think there are any women in their year 20s or 18 or 19 here (probably on the bluelight discord there are), but what do other women watch.

And if you are women and watch porn, do you ever hide what your watching from your significant other?
my gf watches BBC porn ready to act it out in real life
 
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