fairnymph
Ex-Bluelighter
Would you ever consider open sperm donation, with some involvement in the children’s life, to a degree you found comfortable?I would love kids, in theory, though in practice I'm not so sure it's a good idea (for various reasons like, will they inherent my addictive personality, am I willing to actually to host birthday party, go to endless events etc, will a war with China break out in the year 2045, etc.).
With girlfriend I'm content in my lack of discontentedness. But obviously it leaves me with a kind of emptiness. But it also leaves me more stable and less likely to abuse drugs to cope with the ups and downs that are inevitable with a more intense, passionate relationship. I have bad coping skills.
I've actually wondered before, not in actual actionable sense, if perhaps I'd be best with polygamy (multiple wives). Not because of any sexual benefits but rather due to fact that I like having emotional relationships with woman. All women are so different, and I'm such a varied person that I like women who are extroverted, warm and lighthearted, but I also like women who are pensive, introverted and troubled/complex. Also physically I have no type, not even with regard to race. When i close my eyes and try to picture the perfect woman, I can't come up with anything.
Not that I'm going to start practicing polygamy, which sounds like exhausting in practice, but conceptually it sounds nice in some regards. Maybe part of it is the drug addict part of me, because I love that feeling of falling in love, the high is incredible. You go to sleep feeling it and wake up and jump right out of bed with a skip in your step. The comedown however is horrendous, it's been the cause of every drug relapse I ever had.
Your feelings regarding your relationship are exactly as I’d imagined, but the self-awareness regarding its benefits are interesting. Though one could argue that’s a cope for being in a suboptimal relationship.
Re polygamy, you sound a lot like my manwhore friend! He loves women, emoptionally as well as sexually. He loves the variety, novelty, & constant interactions. He doesn’t really have a type either. Have you ever been in a relationship with a woman that was immensely satisfying in most of not all majar regards?
Falling in love is amazing, but imo, the honeymoon phase is only a phase for those aren’t superbly matched. Ofc, that is most couples. Enduring excitement IS possible; I had it with my husband.