dYsFunktnl
Bluelighter
Well hello again TDS and all your humble peeps, its not my first time here and wont be my last so hear me out if you will.
well where to begin,
ive been a regular meth user for the better part of my teenage years, which then turned into habitual use during early twenties and that lead to my first visit to the dark side, things got better and i had control everything was sweet.
then
for the last three years i admit in those three years that i have had -no- control at all. this cannot continue like this much longer as I feel i wont be here by xmas at this rate. so im trying to i dunno,.. gain/learn some control methods an share my story in the hope whilst im reading this or engaging in conversation it will otherwise distract me from reality enough to not use for a while.
I know ive left this fairly short and there is little about me or my lifestyle so ill say it like this. I was and had everything i needed, wanted and desired in life, took too many drugs at work, home and social life which caused me to loose my career, house and social life.
but to be honest all of that wasnt fullfilling anyway if you get what i mean.. so the addiction affliction continued and it was everyone elses fault things where no longer good or worth living for.
recently almost like an apiphany i realised its all MY fault and the only way to change it is not to live in denial however., whilst i have the intentions of slowing down my use, putting that into action scares the living poo poo's out of me and then actually trying to not use for a while becomes mission impossible. i struggle and smoke weed alot to compensate the first few days which just helps me passout/sleep a bit and recover but as soon as i feel human again its like my brain goes "ding, time to get on" and takes over me..
so yeaaaaaah.
stopping from monday morning and getting on again on friday night doesnt seem to be helping at all and neither did the denial has anyone got any better suggestions?

thanks,
dYsFunk
Meth is not the solution,..
well where to begin,
ive been a regular meth user for the better part of my teenage years, which then turned into habitual use during early twenties and that lead to my first visit to the dark side, things got better and i had control everything was sweet.
then
for the last three years i admit in those three years that i have had -no- control at all. this cannot continue like this much longer as I feel i wont be here by xmas at this rate. so im trying to i dunno,.. gain/learn some control methods an share my story in the hope whilst im reading this or engaging in conversation it will otherwise distract me from reality enough to not use for a while.
I know ive left this fairly short and there is little about me or my lifestyle so ill say it like this. I was and had everything i needed, wanted and desired in life, took too many drugs at work, home and social life which caused me to loose my career, house and social life.
but to be honest all of that wasnt fullfilling anyway if you get what i mean.. so the addiction affliction continued and it was everyone elses fault things where no longer good or worth living for.
recently almost like an apiphany i realised its all MY fault and the only way to change it is not to live in denial however., whilst i have the intentions of slowing down my use, putting that into action scares the living poo poo's out of me and then actually trying to not use for a while becomes mission impossible. i struggle and smoke weed alot to compensate the first few days which just helps me passout/sleep a bit and recover but as soon as i feel human again its like my brain goes "ding, time to get on" and takes over me..
so yeaaaaaah.
stopping from monday morning and getting on again on friday night doesnt seem to be helping at all and neither did the denial has anyone got any better suggestions?

thanks,
dYsFunk
Meth is not the solution,..
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