I can't do this anymore but I can't stop...methadone?

[daysonatrain]

Nope, I don't find opioids addictive in the least. They would have to be free of charge for me to get hooked.

I'm going through cannabinoid withdrawal right now, and I would kill for something to put me into convulsions and extreme pain for an hour, to not have to deal with the symptoms of withdrawal for days or weeks. It's the waiting for withdrawal to end that makes it hard for me.

no offense, but cannabinoid withdrawal is literally nothing compared to even a minor opiate addiction.

i find the mental cravings worse than the physical withdrawal, the physical is gone in a week or two but the mental goes on for months.

 

[paranoid android]

no offense, but cannabinoid withdrawal is literally nothing compared to even a minor opiate addiction.

i find the mental cravings worse than the physical withdrawal, the physical is gone in a week or two but the mental goes on for months.

Agreed. Withdrawal from cannabis even after a decade of use was nothing for me. Withdrawal from opiates makes me suicidal sometimes. This continues even after he physical withdrawal.

 

[Blackvinegar2]

yeah come on bra, you can't really be serious comparing marijuana withdrawal with opioid withdrawals. Its like that scene from half baked "you ever sucked dick for coke!" then something about kicking the guy out cause he says hes addicted to weed. Can't remember what it was exactly. But yeah, opiate withdrawals are generally AGONIZING AND LOTS OF SUFFERING. back when i was going through my "weed is so cool! i want to smoke everyday all day" phase when I was like 16-19 When I would run out of weed or would quit, it would KIND OF suck for like 2-3 days. But it was mostly just irritability, difficulty sleeping, and trouble getting an appetite. But the withdrawals from that were a joke. People that have only experienced "weed withdrawals" do not even know what the word withdrawal means man

 

[stuckinaloop]

you have to be fucking kidding me holy shit

Nope, I don't find opioids addictive in the least. They would have to be free of charge for me to get hooked.

I'm going through cannabinoid withdrawal right now, and I would kill for something to put me into convulsions and extreme pain for an hour, to not have to deal with the symptoms of withdrawal for days or weeks. It's the waiting for withdrawal to end that makes it hard for me.

 

[thelung]

I completely agree. I have seen your responses on other posts, Thelung. It sounds like me and you both agree on similar things. How many MGs are you on daily? Im only on 35 at the moment, but im still going up.. Ill probably stabilize at or around 60-80

i'm on 95mg , but my clinic uses the cherry concentrate, and for whatever reason i really dislike that particular formulation.

 

[Medicinal Marge]

you can do this!

myself being an x heroin junkie and a present MMT patient (i have to admit i use supplemental methadone pills b/c the stuff they give you in the clinics somehow have the "pain killer" removed for the most part, but the blocking of other opiates remains as well as the urge to not use drugs also supposedly is still in place (although i think this is just the mental side of you KNOWING you can't use opiates, the urge for all of the other drugs still remains somewhat, mostly 4 headies, or good pot where i come from). i don't wanna discourage you from MMT tho, i'm treating it as a junkie would, it still gives you a nice feeling when you dose, especially when supplemented with sum good green, plus u know your not going to die or go to jail that day and it's way cheaper than H. depending on if the clinics are backed up at all at your location is a factor, as some people have stated in posts i've read, but you'll probably be ok. One thing though and i'm being dead serious (as if i was joking around b4), methadone maintenance is a VERY SERIOUS COMMITMENT. you must attend the clinic every day at first (some are lucky and have sundays off), along with counseling sessions and NA type meetings, and the cost, differing for each clinic but avg.ing out @ $12.00 or so a day, plus gas to get there, plus the drug tests (as you probably know you have to pass your first 3 drug screens in most places to get A takehome dose), as well as the knowledge that down the road you will have to ween yourself off of THE hardest drug to quit, physically and mentally, but if done in the correct manner, along with suboxone, your pain will be minimal. hey, i had to do some serious soul searching b4 making this decision too, but i think you should definately go, i just wanted you to know the downsides. and dont worry, they won't kick you out if you smoke dope or use other drugs, although if u truly want to get better i would stay away from everything but pot. since you MUST revise your group of friends when getting away from substance abuse, a clinic can serve as a stepping stone 4 making a new set of friends, friends who can form the all important "support system," imperative to the healing process. a more difficult thing to conquer when rehabbing is filling up your free time you used to spend using with healthy activities. start thinking now about the constructive activities you'll fill your time with now that using is a thing of the past, and use your MMT counselor to help out with this as well, you'll get through! feel free to message me, Medicinal Marge, if u need. so get yourself in there and start the road to recovery, and let us know how you're doing here at Bluelight, we care. happy sailing, MM

 

[sam614]

DO NOT USE METHADONE!! I was on it for 6 months and when I got off I had horrible withdrawals for 3 1/2 weeks!!! It was worse than the WD from oxycontin (my opiate of choice). Methdone, big no no

I actually totally agree with this, although i will say everyone is different. I was never an IV user and so didn't have that daily, incredibly dangerous behavior to stop. my friend actually is getting off IV'ing black tar, and went back to the methadone clinic (he's the one who got me in when i went two summers ago)

I have very mixed feelings about methadone. i believe the ppl working in the clinic genuinely want to help, but i know that, at least where i dosed, they didn't help much. they stuck me with a counselor who was MY AGE (22 at the time) so the "sessions" were more just like gossiping. i loved her to death, but she never once mentioned my piss tests (at least some of them had to have come out dirty) and the relationship we had was definitely not like that of a counselor-patient.

anyways, while i was going to the clinic i broke my foot so i got an exception to the take-home rule (usually you have to earn the right to take your doses home in a lock box so you don't come to the clinic every day by pissing clean). i got to bypass that and only had to go three times a week, and trust me it was still a pain.

the worst thing, though, was that not a single person bothered to warn me about how addictive methadone is and how long the wds last. maybe it sounds naive but i really thought "hey, i'm going down two mgs a week and not hurting, by the time i get down to nothing i'll be free"!!! it didn't happen that way. i came off at four or six mgs, and i was DYING. in living hell. way worse than the original oxy wds had ever been. i NEVER would have made it through a month of that hell, but i did some research and found out about the loperamide hcl trick and that really worked for me. but coming off of methadone, before reading about the loperamide, was the worst five days of my life.

the only good thing i can say about methadone withdrawal is that i can now handle just about anything cold turkey. after experiencing that hell, i would never go back.

still, to each his own, and i know methadone has helped many people so i'm not tryin to knock it

 

[bagochina]

I was on methadone for 2 years when I was younger [19] and it did allow me to clean up my life and stay on top of things. At the time it allowed me to be productive, school/work but unfortunetly I was just not ready to quit using completely. After weening down to about 11mgs the w/d really was starting to get to me and I decided to check into a rehab. I had to get off 'done before they could take me in rehab, so I went back to dope to stabilize the done w/d. It was VERY physically addicting.

I remember the head doctor at the clinic pulled me aside the first couple of weeks and told me to get of methadone as quickly as possible. A friend of mine was on MMT for 10 years and when he finally stopped he said it took 2 YEARS!! for him to finally feel normal, although I have no idea what has happened with him. I think meth is best left for quick detoxs and for cases that do not respond to bupe. Which I think is a much better all-around op8 medication mainly because of the addictiveness factor.

I know for a long time when I went on MMT or BMT I didnt truly want to quit as it was just safer to stay medicated than get caught-up in the using life-style and not have to worry about the catostrophic endings. Who knows what would have happened if I didnt go on maintenance? I guess I will never know? At least I am around to find out...

Peace,
Seedless

 

[Khadijah]

just so u know-methadone clinics WILL kick you out for smokin bud, some ppl has said they dont but alot of them will....And there aint no difference between the pill form methadone and the liquid....There aint no such thing as "pain killing methadone" and "non pain killing methadone" its the same exact thing......the only difference is the formula, the liquid passes thru ur body faster in some ppl opinion but its the exact same chemical....Just to clear up some mis information in the thread....

 

[La Sombra Negra]

Methadone should be the LAST resort, and I mean LAST.

Could you step down to a different opiate? Maybe like codeine or something first, then try to adjust to that and go cold turkey followed by immediate participation in NA?

Without a true willpower to quit, you'll never make it, even with methadone, you'll simply try to abuse the methadone and when that fails to "get you off" anymore you'll eventually just say "fuck it" and go back to square 1.

 

[Khadijah]

Anyways, I came back to add more to my post since Mia I always like readin ur shit.

Its up to you. But Ima just put my life in this.

I didnt give a fuck, i was the last one yo , the last one at the party, after everybody else got clean, got locked up, went to rehab, lost touch, and died, i was still fuckin using. (and losing). my family knew i was gettin high and i kept doin it. My BF of 6 yrs left me cuz i couldnt stop and i kept doin it. i got arrested once, twice, three times in 7 months and was lookin at state time as a definite promise until later on i got off on a loop hole but thats another story, and i was still usin....Lived in my car, lived day to day tryna hustle money , out there sellin drugs when i had just got popped for sellin drugs a week before, runnin, and I aint even gonna get into the rest but i was runnin for a reason and for once it wasnt from the police but I always had to watch behind my back. And i still fuckin used. I just didnt care. usin wasnt the problem the problem was cuz i always kept gettin my ass in trouble and if i could just stop that and be safer it would be fine....

I tried gettin clean MAD times with suboxone im talkin prolly at least 20 times, and thats if u dont count all the time i spent on a back n forth 4 days sub 3 days dope 4 days sub 3 days dope routine, shit if u counted those times it would proly be over 100 by now but i dont.

Anywys tho...The point is that i got to a spot where i HAD to stop...I was on the spot with my PO and he got a cop in the hall waitin to cuff me and take me to the county cuz i had failed ANOTHER piss test, and i was on thin ice already i had did the dirty routine before...And i just realized i cant keep doin this, i go in this bitch once a week and im still usin and ima just keep gettin fucked, i cant WIN.....and i realized if i was gonna actually be in the clean life for a while and not just to keep gettin high, i had to get on the methadone and I did and u know wat....

FUCK the NA haters...Fuck the people that tell me i aint really clean, Fuck the world if they got a problem with it...IM DOIN GOOD on this shit. Im doin GREAT. I started off at the clinic and did that for a few months, and dont let NOBODY tell you about "pain killing methadone" not being in the methadone. Methadone is a chemical compound that would not BE methadone if it got altered. You cant "take away" certain parts of methadone. It aint a mix of different drugs that makes one effect. its ONE drug, peroid, and that drug is methadone, and its the same methadone if you get it in a pill, a liquid, or a un flavored liquid. Seriously please dont pay that shit no mind becuz its straight crazy talk. I been on ALL 3 and The ONLY difference would be that becuz the liquid more easy to absorb in ur body sometimes it goes THRU ur system slightly faster, but THATS IT, and thts the truth.....I know u a smart girl anyways so u know it already but dont even pay no mind to the ppl that is tryna tell u some made up shit, i think "facts" is a lil more reliable here

Anyways girl, U can do this shit. I was the last one, the last one that i ever thoguht would be clean, and DEFINATLY the last one that everybody else thought could get clean. i still got my dealer bleep me on the regular talkin bout he got that fire, he really think Im comin back lol.

But girl...U got to find the WILL...That is the only way its gonna happen...U need to get to a spot, not rock bottom necessarily but just the back against the wall place where u put down ur gun and stop fightin, and let the boys take u to the car and lock u up so to speak, but it aint that bad lol. Its just like us as dope feens, we like some bank robbers, and first we robbed that shit and we knew it was a bad idea but they didnt start catchin on to us just quite yet so we kept goin, sooner or later we know the feds was on our trail but far enough away , we keep runnin, keep goin, eventually we locked up in a motel room with that shit and the knock on the door comes, and isntead of just surrendring, we come out guns blazin tryna shoot these muh fuckas, then go back in the room make some type of hostage situation, Draaaaggggginnnggg it out forever. Once u get to the back against the wall point where u cant go no more, u realize u cant win and u just give up and get clean, its like when u say aight, ima put the gun down, get on the ground and get read my rights .Now dont laugh girl i kno thats a funny analogy but its really like how it is, cuz we just keep goin. anybody else would know they was fucked and just lie down but we just keep fightin and fightin....It gets old eventually and when u get there, u will know.

Until then i would recommend methadone becuz it can do a great job of replacing ur addiction, it hits all the spots that dope hits imo without the illegal part of it.

Honestly, I wqould even suggest goin to a doctor and seein wat kind of scripts u can get if u have any past injries-anything to legitimize ur problem and reduce the bad sides of it one by one. if you can get your drugs frmo a legit source like I do with my Meth dr, then ur takin away alot of the bad part of the addicion. u might not be all the way ready to be clean but at least u minimizing the harm. Shit Im only bein real-Ill come back later but i got to be out now. good luck mami

 

[OverDone]

FUCK the NA haters...Fuck the people that tell me i aint really clean, Fuck the world if they got a problem with it...

I'm in NA and I agree 100% with this. This is the one thing that I completely disagree with concerning 'the program'. If your on MMT/suboxone, as far as I'm concerned, you're fuckin' clean.

I HATE that motherfuckers in NA push people out the door (essentially killing people) because they are on some sort of maintenance. If they talk shit about someone on maintenance, I say somethin' to them.

(see I'm gettin' better. What I'd REALLY like to do is crack ribs with a polished boot when a self-righteous NA person talks shit about maintenance drugs)

Too many people cause harm by taking a holier than thou attitude about maintenance drugs. Fuck them, man. Its about gettin' your life back and for me, any way you can do that is fuckin' awesome.

I'm sorry assholes cop an attitude about this topic in 'the rooms'. Its none of their business