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I cannot believe what i am hearing

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Aparentwhosuffered

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Nov 2, 2012
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I joined this page as a parent who suffered for 5 years and still continues to do so with my son who is a former drug addict. He overdosed 3 times, third almost dead. Seizured 4 times from Tramadol...snorted opiates, landed in a psych ward etc...Why is it that you do not value your lives? Why do you brag about doing drugs? You brag about heroin? I dont get this. Please make me understand! The pain I've gone through was unconscionable. Rehab 4 times, now suboxone and hopefully wean off....I feel for drug addicts, but why do you continue to do it? Do you know what pain you cause to others? Your selfishness of getting high? The money you spend when you could be enjoying life? This all breaks my heart at the talk of drugs as if it is candy and the pain of some not knowing what to do...Just one question...Why do you go on getting high? :( Are you not afraid to die?
 
most people don't brag about their drug use and continue to use because they're addicted and get very sick without the drugs
 
Basically what crimson said. If you have to ask, you wouldnt understand. That said, why do people brag about their hometown sports teams? I hate sports, but people BRAG about their favorite sports teams. Can you make me understand ?
 
Aparentwhosuffered said:
I joined this page as a parent who suffered for 5 years and still continues to do so with my son who is a former drug addict. He overdosed 3 times, third almost dead. Seizured 4 times from Tramadol...snorted opiates, landed in a psych ward etc...Why is it that you do not value your lives? Why do you brag about doing drugs? You brag about heroin? I dont get this. Please make me understand! The pain I've gone through was unconscionable. Rehab 4 times, now suboxone and hopefully wean off....I feel for drug addicts, but why do you continue to do it? Do you know what pain you cause to others? Your selfishness of getting high? The money you spend when you could be enjoying life? This all breaks my heart at the talk of drugs as if it is candy and the pain of some not knowing what to do...Just one question...Why do you go on getting high? :( Are you not afraid to die?
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First off, I hope your son gets clean and healthy!

Second, the language you use when describing "drug addicts" is full of violent communication and loaded questions. Many of these statements lump all drug users into a category of devaluing their lives, money, and/or relationships. If you want better answers about this subject you might want to rephrase your questions to relate to your son and what you know about his use. Questions stating "you" or "your" is accusatory and uncalled for. I know that "I" don't brag about my use, seek to cause pain in others, or desire death.

Anyway, good luck on finding the answers you seek.
 
Hello and welcome to Bluelight.

Bluelight (and particularly BDD) is a forum that tends towards the harm reduction of drugs intake. The answers to the questions you are asking are to be found in the very essence of the human condition: people have been taking drugs, take drugs and will continue to take drugs as long as they will have to endure their place in this harsh world. Now the question I'm asking you is: why do you think drugs are the only culprit? The reality is simple in my opinion and in the opinion of almost all the people who take drugs: as long as drugs will be illegal, people who take drugs will have to suffer a double penalty. The penalty of taking drugs, and the penalty of their illegality. We never said (and will never say) that drugs are a good thing by themselves. But putting people in prison because they do a thing that is so close to their very condition isn't and will never be the solution.

For your son to live a better life, society must help him in every way it can, and not jugde him. When this happens (and it will happen, people who don't take drugs accepting it or not), society will have made a huge step in the good direction. And in conclusion I have another question: are you sure you're not using drugs yourself? For everything is a drug, and nothing is: television, religion, alcohol, tobacco, sport, the list is endless where you need something to cope with life.
 
Aparentwhosuffered said:
I joined this page as a parent who suffered for 5 years and still continues to do so with my son who is a former drug addict. He overdosed 3 times, third almost dead. Seizured 4 times from Tramadol...snorted opiates, landed in a psych ward etc...Why is it that you do not value your lives? Why do you brag about doing drugs? You brag about heroin? I dont get this. Please make me understand! The pain I've gone through was unconscionable. Rehab 4 times, now suboxone and hopefully wean off....I feel for drug addicts, but why do you continue to do it? Do you know what pain you cause to others? Your selfishness of getting high? The money you spend when you could be enjoying life? This all breaks my heart at the talk of drugs as if it is candy and the pain of some not knowing what to do...Just one question...Why do you go on getting high? :( Are you not afraid to die?
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I'm sorry about your son, I really am :(
Good vibes coming your way!
But, not everyone on here is a drug addict, and no one is your son. Please do not judge others based upon what happened to him, because everyone is their own person.

And you shouldn't be afraid to die.
 
Gyrospeck said:
First off, I hope your son gets clean and healthy!

Second, the language you use when describing "drug addicts" is full of violent communication and loaded questions. Many of these statements lump all drug users into a category of devaluing their lives, money, and/or relationships. If you want better answers about this subject you might want to rephrase your questions to relate to your son and what you know about his use. Questions stating "you" or "your" is accusatory and uncalled for. I know that "I" don't brag about my use, seek to cause pain in others, or desire death.

Anyway, good luck on finding the answers you seek.
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this.

it may be easier for you to generalize and lump all drug addicts into one kind of person and problem because you don't understand, but that type of thinking can prevent progress and help for the people who are suffering from the drug addictions. you are making a lot of assumptions and devaluing people. i value my life, and it's a good thing i do because the ones who assume i don't are going to be the ones to make it worse and assume they're doing the right thing.

this a public forum where issues are discussed. turn on the news. are they bragging?
 
Boards such as Bluelight exist to help individuals, perhaps such as your son, avoid harmful situations due to ignorant usage.

It is frowned upon to brag about reckless drug usage.

If I were the parent of a child struggling with a heroin addiction, I would use the time on bluelight researching heroin. Fill your mind with knowledge. It can save lives to know heroin use symptoms, mindset and dangerous combinations.

I am truly sorry to hear it has become a situation in which has affected the well-being of your family. I pray he finds a different hobby other than Heroin.
 
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I don't think anyone struggling with opiate addiction wanted to end up there. I was introduced to heroin when I was 14. Its a pandemic.
Millions of kids like me grew up doing prescription pills, and good quality heroin swept through the suburbs. I was getting dopesick before I graduated from high school. I lose 2 friends at least without fail every year. I don't have a deathwish but it would be foolish to say that it might not take my life someday.
Then if you're lucky you end up in rehab, get your shit together for a while... But remember this is all we've known. Drop me in any city in America and I'll find something real soon. I'll be so intent on doing good then all it takes is me having a bad day and able to get ahold of something. The temptation is close to unbearable at times.

Addicts have proven neurological impulse control problems. We all have addiction in our families in some form.
I feel for you, I feel for your son, you think we like our lives falling apart and screwing over those we love? No not most of us.
Some people bragging might be bravado. But for me I studied getting high like I should have studied in college. I know what where when and how to make me feel the only escape I've known from the exponentially increasingly fucked up reality that my life had become. Throw in some mental issues on top of all of that.... This is by far the good life or anything to brag about.
 
loulou reed said:
Hello and welcome to Bluelight.


For your son to live a better life, society must help him in every way it can, and not jugde him. When this happens (and it will happen, people who don't take drugs accepting it or not), society will have made a huge step in the good direction. And in conclusion I have another question: are you sure you're not using drugs yourself? For everything is a drug, and nothing is: television, religion, alcohol, tobacco, sport, the list is endless where you need something to cope with life.
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I agree with that. Pretty much everybody needs a " drug " in life. Most people find an outlet that is healthy and socially acceptable. This does not include the so-called drug culture. What we do is viewed by society as hedonistic, destructive, decadent and selfish. But that means nothing to someone who uses drugs or alcohol recreationally or is addicted. For many users, it is a passion the way baseball is a passion for others. This sort of thing can't be understood, only experienced
 
BlueHues said:
Go to Al-anon
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This

Trust me a fear of death isn't enough to get most addicts sober. It has to come from within. It will never make sense to anyone who is not an addict but al-anon is a great place to start understanding this disease.
 
The desire to get high despite the consequences, is something a non drug-user will never understand....
You sound like my own mother.....
It's a risk we take. Really no other way to explain it...
A disease? I don't know...
I compare myself to straight people and I really don't think they have their shit together either, for the most part
It's a selfish, fucked up world....
What makes you so great, really?
 
Please please please read this book: In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Dr Gabor Mate. That book explains addiction extremely well and I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who has a loved one who has or has had an addiction.

Most people I see on Bluelight aren't bragging about their drug use. Most people are coming here to get help reducing the harm associated with drug use or to get help with quitting drugs. Please do some more reading of the site before you make any snap judgments. Glorification of drug use is the exception, not the norm in most of our forums. Please check out The Dark Side forum, which is specifically for people struggling with addictions, mental health issues, self-harm, thoughts of suicide and other hard times in life. You might like to make a post there if you are interested in better understanding what your son is going through or would like some support.

Drug addicts are usually well aware of the pain it causes to others, that just makes us want to use more drugs in order to feel better. Chastising us just makes things worse. We need unconditional love and support. Opioid addicts are not being selfish to get high, they are trying to feel love and joy, self-medicate for depression and anxiety, and feel "normal". Perhaps some people do reckless things and aren't afraid to die because they feel like they would rather die than feel depressed all the time, others who do reckless things may not realize the risks they are taking, others do it because addiction is so powerful. We are all different and not everyone who uses drugs is an addict or is reckless. Bluelight is first and foremost a harm reduction site, a cause which I fully believe in.
 
We do not want to get clean because drugs add so much to life. I do not understand how society can go on living sober. How? How do you dull the emotional pain? How can you handle the boredom? Society has created drug users, the people surrounding the user and how he or she was treated almost always corelates with drugs and abuse. If it wasn't for drugs, I would be an alcoholic, same shit. Why is alcohol legal? They should ban it then.

Each time I am about to buy some drugs, I feel like a kid who has entered a toy store. Nothing else can bring back that feeling. Why are we so selfish? The goverment is selfish for not letting us do it without paranoia...why are we selfish for wanting some time for ouselves? It is like me saying don't watch your favourite show because I want your attention. The sober people are really the selfish ones. Not us. What is it to all of you? WTF is the problem? Stop wanting all the attention on your selves. If someone wants to suicide is it selfish, or is the person selfish for not letting them? No one is any one elses shoes so piss off.
 
^At it's worst it can be horrible. At its best, using drugs is a great way to fill the void! The excitement, the risk, the high. I'm addicted to the whole thing, not that you can't have those feelings naturally.

The problem is, once you experience the good side of it, everything else in life pales in comparison. It's a curse really.

I remember being sober for 2 years and chairing my anniversary meeting in AA. I was completely miserable. Since then, I've figured out how to fill the void with other things. I love playing music. I love cooking. I love nature.

But still, nothing can compare to going and buying my drugs, getting them, using them and getting high. No matter how bad things are or how horrible you feel, the drugs just take that all away, if only for a little while.

I'm not talking about psychedelics/weed here, that's completely different, IMO. Those just seem to raise your consciousness to another level and don't have much practical application for just "making you instantly feel better"....Weed maybe....I guess thats debatable...
The point is, once you fall in love with that feeling, it's really hard to turn your back on it!
 
Bluehues, love your post. It is hard once you find that whatever substance that makes you feel good and functional. Then you go without it and have to face your family and friends in a state of full consciousness.

That being said Parent, I am a mother as well. Came from a long line of addicts. My grandfather was addicted to opiates, father and mother alcoholics/drug addicted. They passed away before their time. One sister died from overdose and the other one's a crackhead. It wasn't meant to be this way and I believe there was better plans for us. I'm trying to recover myself as well as my ex-husband. Then there's my beautiful son who got into weed, kicked out of public school, juvenile detention and struggling to keep his nose clean. He's just 15 and I was hoping this "addictive gene" would skip a generation like people say.

I want to say addiction is a disease and not a decision but people will tell me I'm full of shit. The only thing that matters is that you're there for your son when he needs you. When I was addicted, my parents had no problem turning their backs on me at the lowest point of my life. It hurt like hell when the people I loved most were judging me all the while they had their own demons. The only ones I have left are my little sister and stepdad, who raised me like his own kid.

Like others have suggested, go to Al-anon meetings to get an understanding of this addiction and support from others. They are great people who can help you cope and give insight about this affliction. Your son will thank you for it.
 
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