Mental Health I Blew Up Krypton

SaY4cT

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 30, 2013
Messages
118
Okay, I'd rather this kept in this section if possible, thanks

I'm a guy, age 24
so far not very religious
way things are now I don't see myself getting religious at all in the future

I am an extremely sexual person, my mind is almost always filled with thoughts and fantasies
While sex isn't my most favorite activity, it certainly is a favorite
Thing is, I don't like to discuss or watch anything too sexual
Hell, I try to keep masturbation to a minimum as much as I can
My sex drive is always on, but most of the time I can counter it with keeping my head on a project or on work that can give me focus
I don't always have the mental strength for that, however

sex is still on my mind a lot
I guess most of the time

I always dream about sex in some form or another, fantasies and altered memories of myself in situations X Y Z, very vivid stuff, a lot of things I know will never happen again or ever
I always wake up graceful and happy that I'm living to see another day, that feeling takes about 7-8 hours to go away (drugs are sometimes involved)
My appetite is almost always absent but I still make myself eat 2 meals a day

Right now I'm single, haven't slept or made any physical contact with anyone in over 4 months, I think maybe 5
I kinda stopped counting since... hm
I don't plan on getting intimate with people anymore, but you never know...

It feels to me like it's ok to keep fighting the urges to age 80 when I die, hopefully later, but deep down I know that's not how it's going to be
I guess I'm deluding myself
actually yes, I'm definitely delusional about that part :)

It still feels balanced somehow, or maybe I'm just full of myself
and of crap
So yeah basically that means I also avoid entertainment with too much sexuality
For example GoT
I watched only 1.5 episodes and gave up
Which is a shame because it seemed interesting and I loved the violence (and the incest)

i'm not asking for advice, maybe I am
could be an ego thing
I don't know

I don't feel abandoned or hopeless
I still feel like I have enough fuel to keep myself going
concerta and ambien have lately been a godsend to me
I also pop a light downer every now and then
By now, it's probably addiction again, but until I put it down for good I won't be able to tell for certain
my emotions are still functioning fine, I think, most of the time
gotta know when to raise the shields however

I'm actually doing ok, I think, even when sober
 
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I think I already self diagnosed my overwhelming horniness from heart aches :) just posted this as a nother way of re assuring myself of being on the right track I guess
maybe would help if I stopped with the concerta for a while...
 
I think what you're experiencing is fairly normal and could perhaps benefit from some form of therapy if you aren't too shy. We humans are nothing more than evolved mammals with mammal instincts - think Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Your concerta's effect on dopamine may be causing some over-stimulation in that department, so perhaps look at cutting back. It's only when you cannot prevent yourself from acting inappropriately that I would suggest seeking a psychiatrist for any sort of medicinal intervention.
 
Well, I am seeing a psychiatrist, 2 in fact... trust me when I tell you I use every chance I get to talk their ears off... lol

thanks for the comments guys...
 
One quick suggestion, if you are seeking therapy - see a guy if you're a guy - when it comes to issues like sexuality who's better to relate than someone of your gender? I'm a guy and I wouldn't be very useful in helping women get past postpartum depression, lol.
 
Haha
so true
One of them is a guy, He's actually extremely blunt about sex and relationships, very to the point of the things
the female one is... well... it's probably understandable to say I can't be as straightforward with her as with my male therapist but she is a different kind of ear to talk to, and a different opinion to hear...

It's a nice little arrangement tbh. :)
 
Well, I cut out the Methylphenidate today and I still basically feel the same, except I don't have a timer in my head for when it wears off
Also didn't put effort into projects today, damn shame
Maybe the unwanted placebo will still need a bit more time to wear off.. Will have to wait and see.
 
Well, I cut out the Methylphenidate today and I still basically feel the same, except I don't have a timer in my head for when it wears off
Also didn't put effort into projects today, damn shame
Maybe the unwanted placebo will still need a bit more time to wear off.. Will have to wait and see.

I'd imagine it's like telling yourself not to think about pink elephants ..what happens?

:D
 
Hey I would love to count some pink fluffy elephants right now, But yeah
I understand...

Popped the zolpidem an hour ago to sleep and am now half delirious like I'm 17 again :(

This is likely because I skipped the Methylphenidate for the day, sure kept me up and focused past most hours and draining my strength for when I go to sleep.
 
That's a problem
Most of the people I know are, like myself, sex addicted nymphomaniacs
Can't bring myself to want to stay around them for long, they depress me with the way they dress and act, desperately trying to ooze with sexual nature to attract the opposite sex
Only friend who I know isn't is somebody who studies most day, I'm guessing he just doesn't have time for anything realy
Well, him and my therapist, I think

I sound like a jerk but am not in a very healthy state of mind right now... apologies
 
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