Dude, give yourself a big pat on the back
@Psynaught 
You really have done a great job with all of this. I can be sober, yes; can I be sober with drugs constantly within arms´ reach. Well, let´s just say I stay sober by keeping those things at least out of my reach. I don´t have phone numbers. I don´t associate with fellow miscreants despite them being my people. I sell pharmaceuticals now as a second job. I sell drugs of a different variety to individuals with addictions that I do not fully understand. I´m selling anti-aging, peptides, GLP-1´s, NAD+, Hangover cures and botox among other things. Those people are addicted to Youth, which I find to be infinitely more sad than my addiction to Heroin.
See, I can actually do Heroin. They cannot actually be younger. They often make themselves into freaks in the process. I deal with stuck-up bitches who rail endlessly about Fauci, the liberals and how they are so proud they never ¨got the shot¨. Meanwhile, I am selling them ¨medicines¨ that, despite our claims, nobody really has a fucking clue how or where they are made. We proudly say ¨not China¨, which in all likelihood is untrue. Everyone is too poor to pay the rent, yet these bitches are all on anti-aging protocols that run $800-$1200/month between medications, injections and doctor visits.
Anyway, I am disgusted with myself because of how good I am at playing these simpletons. I´m sorry Ma´ám, but my honest opinion is that you should get off your fat ass every once in a while and exercise. Nope, they would rather give mother nature and God a big middle finger and consume ¨totally safe and tested¨ drugs that allow them to forego the exercise.
I guess my roundabout point, I am totally disgusted by the state of ¨medicine¨ in this country and probably globally. I have always known it to be essentially corrupt. Like police, you maintain your hope that their are good ones out there working for the greater good. Pain is defined as human suffering. We all know that pain cannot be reasoned with, ignored or finessed. People who are not in pain will say it is easy. To have that attitude is to be completely arrogant of what it means to be a human.
It´s just a missed call right? No, it is the catalyst for several days of extreme pain as someone is unable to get their medication. When you display any kind of attitude, you are quickly shuffled into the ¨problem¨ pile. Your complaints of pain are actually just addictive behaviors coming to the surface. You show up with notes to back up your claims. Your knowledge only proves that you are preoccupied with these drugs.
These things quickly become personal. You assume your doctor is a classically-trained scientist. You assume the Hippocratic Oath has a sacred meaning to all doctors. You assume that money is not their motivation, but a bonus to the hard work that they do. You assume that doctors are above vanity, above pettiness and above subjective/personal opinions being a part of their craft.
What you find in America is a radically different picture. The medical profession has lost all dignity in the wake of the latest Opioid Epidemic. They had no problem working hand in hand with organized crime to ensure poor Americans became addicted to these powerful Opioids. ¨Time Release makes them abuse-proof!¨ Any idiot with the most basic knowledge of pharmacy would assume that this is utterly ridiculous. Because two doses are administered at one time, the highly-addictive Opioid is now not addictive at all. The Sacklers are the face of the scandal. The doctors have done a great job washing their hands clean and placing the blame on others.
Medicine in this country, especially in the last few years with Trump, is a massive snake oil operation.
Everyone including myself benefits from the use of Amphetamines. It is amazing that every single person who takes Amphetamines coincidentally loves how they make them feel. ¨No you don´t understand, I´m different. See, when I take Amphetamines I don´t bounce off the walls like most people, I become focused¨. This includes my own self with my Vyvanse script and, ahem, a litany of red flags in my medical records that should make any doctor think twice, well, turns out they like writing the scripts more than they like due diligence. Good for me, I guess.
Do I even have ADHD? I ADHD even a real thing or have we just become so slovenly lazy that we need our apathy to have a clinical definition. Everyone is ¨better¨ on Amphetamine. It makes every task more exciting, enjoyable and/or fun. Just like pain having no scientific metric, how do you differentiate between the guy who just loves Amphetamines and the person who ¨truly needs it¨. I read these posts on Reddit where people are like ¨I have legitimate ADHD and I can´t do my job without adderall. I´m tired of all these addicts who don´t even have ADHD who make it hard for us¨... get over your fucking self please. Just admit to the world and the universe that you have a mild speed habit and that´s just fine, you´ll figure it out someday. To claim that you´re a legitimate sufferer of a condition for which there is no scientific definition just proves that you were never taught to think for yourself.
The White House apparently has a pharmacy on lock that gives pills out to whomever wants them. Amphetamines, Benzodiazepines, Z-Drugs and even mild Opioids are essentially given out in an entirely informal manner. My point is, wealthy people cannot be addicts. Powerful people cannot be addicts. It is antithetical to their role in the world. They will never experience the desperation of being totally beat, sick and without help of any kind. They will never be forced to go to work sick from Opioids lest they get fired and lose literally everything they have. Money and power shield them from these things. Meanwhile, Republicans shit on addicts as immoral, irresponsible people despite the fact they have absolutely no true perspective regarding the hardships of life.
It is so easy to look at drug use as not problematic when you have a job, an apartment and money in the bank. When I was in Asia, the concept of Heroin addiction went from a ¨daily, life or death battle against Heaven, Hell and Satan himself¨ to ¨oh man, I forgot to pick up Heroin on my way home, now I have to put my slippers on and interrupt my Netflix¨.
It´s just easy to be judgemental when you´re doing great. It´s the good people who can have yet not lose their humanity. However, money/power is a drug stronger than Heroin and with a much harder withdrawal. Just like how you hear of people who use dope for their whole lives without any problems, there are people who obtain power yet don´t sell their souls, but they are rare.
I guess, society makes us out to be the lowest rung. Bad, dishonest people. We are living in a world created by these elites. We strive to find safety and happiness and in the process, some of us become addicts. I will say honestly, from the bottom of my heart, recovered addicts are truly the best people I have ever met. In almost all of us, underneath the filth and the judgement, we have hearts and only want the same love and connection as everyone else. We are often portrayed as the worst. Some of the folks I have known through my program and through Bluelight are some of the most genuinely kind, honest people I have ever met.
And once again, I have hijacked someone´s thread to ramble about nonsense. I´m not deleting it though, I´ve spent too much time.
