I am completely losing interest in life

[skipjames]

I adore Nature. That, too, is a major source of happiness for me. But I have no desire to live like prehistoric humans. For one thing, I'd have died about 30 years ago-- if I was lucky. In those days, mere survival was a constant struggle. I don't think it was the paradise you are imagining.

we recently had a flood down here, we ve been two weeks without running water and we were already going insane. I m a city boy and nature, for good or worse, never made me feel anything but "ok, when are we going back? " unless we are talking of sea and beaches. But the only good thing I see about the old days were opium dens and cocaine sold in drugstores, let alone during the 'hunter gatherer times". We should definitely have ore sensible policies when it comes to environment but I m very happy of living in 2024 and chatting with drug users from all over the world!

 

[kiely]

Do you really want to be happy or are you comfortable where you are at !

Do you really want to change and feel happiness ! If you really do, then you can look for things
that make you happy and feel happy.

You can change your brain to feel this way by feeling happy about something a little bit everyday.

If you keep focusing on being happy and what makes you feel this way you can gradually change
until you have a different way of feeling and doing.

Just keep looking for what it is that gets you on that path there, as much as possible.
Try to stay peaceful. And keep going with other choices too.

Keep this focus as much as possible. Even when you are down about something make sure
to remind yourself not to be this way and do the best that you can to figure out how to turn it around.

I did this with praying and maybe it won't help you but this is what did help me.


I hope that you feel comfortable safe and peaceful as much as possible in all of the healthy ways that you can keep finding.

Thanks for sharing too. Praying or sharing seems to really help so much.


You have to really want to not feel down all of the time by looking for that option not to. You can change everything if that is what you really
want to do. It just won't happen immediately. It is a long involved thought process that won't happen quick.
It will if you have that want that makes you hungry to keep up with it and to keep trying.

Just stay comfortable and peaceful though as much as possible. It will really help a lot. I just hope that this makes you understand
that you will feel better whenever you want to keep trying. I hope that some days will be better than others so that you can know how to keep
on feeling that way . Even a little bit at a time will help. Even if you stall, keep going. It works. Even though someday you might cry, look for
more opportunities not to. Try to have fun, and exercise also, can make you feel better too.

Try to find things to share and that can make us all happy as well that are out there for us besides addictions or dependence. Force something
refreshing, positive and new. And find that other path from there. This website is here, so there must be ways that are possible.

Thanks for the nice thread with great posts and comments here too. But it's good to say what you feel sometimes.

~~~~~
~~~~~

tldr:
You'll be fine, just enjoy what you can and find a way to smile from your heart. That does help a lot.
It might seem too simple but little things really can make things better too. lol.

 

[smokeymcpot42088]

Over the last ten years, I've had a pretty disgusting existence and can barely look at myself in the mirror. I've been in the psych ward about 30 times for psychosis since my first break at 19, now at 29 I'm unemployed and back living at my mom's place. But it's not just the psychosis that's destroyed my life. I also hate life from a philosophical standpoint that's independent of my circumstance. The whole system we are brought into is a fucking joke. I hate the bullshit concept of money and making a living, I just resent existing in this system in general. Over the last five years I've traveled a lot, which I should feel grateful for, but most of what I've felt was a since of disgust of the excess poverty/inequality everywhere I've been. In Medellin for instance, you have pieces of shit gentrifying the whole city, while a sizeable population lives in houses made out of plastic. No exaggeration. Leave the tourist area in that cesspool and that is what you see. An enormous garbage dump near a river that should be blue but has turned mud brown due to waste, with plastic houses alongside it. Depressing and sickening to see, especially considering that here in the US you have companies paying thousands of dollars to advertise prescription drugs, injury attorneys, etc, and even the worst off here have it a lot better than most of the world.

I don't mean to rant but I have just had enough. Money can eat shit, the bankers and politicians can eat shit as well. As I get older, I find that most people are pretty selfish, worthless creatures, who would sell out of their own family for the right price. Everything is about money even if not everyone wants to admit it. There is no reason whatsoever that people should be living the nightmare they do, while most people I come across in the US are unbelievably ungrateful. Walk into a walmart and most people look like they've just crawled out of the sewer. Repulsive. Anyway, I'm just done. Done with this country, done with my own shitty health, done with this trash life. Don't know what I aim to accomplish with this but needed to vent.

You are intelligent. There is a negative correlation between intelligence and happiness.

I would love to tell you that you are wrong and people are mostly good. Not my experience at all.

You do have alot to be greatful for!......and alot to live for! I am not sure what psychosis you suffer from nor am I a doctor so I will leave that be for now.

Here is what I suggest; am trying to do myself in fact. Try to only hang around "good people" based on their actions; never words. There is a chance you may have to start over..... Good people are FEW AND FAR BETWEEN. But I promise this: If you if you have lets say three good friends; you will find it preferable to 30 friends 50 associates n connections who you know far less and constantly depress you by giving into the many temptations of human nature.

"There is no such thing as a normal life; just life" -- Doc Holiday.

 

[kris66]

we recently had a flood down here, we ve been two weeks without running water and we were already going insane. I m a city boy and nature, for good or worse, never made me feel anything but "ok, when are we going back? " unless we are talking of sea and beaches. But the only good thing I see about the old days were opium dens and cocaine sold in drugstores, let alone during the 'hunter gatherer times". We should definitely have ore sensible policies when it comes to environment but I m very happy of living in 2024 and chatting with drug users from all over the world!

I think sometimes when we look back it's easy to think things seem simpler. No cars, computers, internet.

Then all I have to do is think about women having 14 or more kids. And only half would live to adulthood. Then the mother would sink into an early grave because her body is exhausted, leaving her husband (if he is still alive) and the older kids to raise the younger ones.

Of course things aren't perfect now either. But I call it progress.

 

[skipjames]

I think sometimes when we look back it's easy to think things seem simpler. No cars, computers, internet.

Then all I have to do is think about women having 14 or more kids. And only half would live to adulthood. Then the mother would sink into an early grave because her body is exhausted, leaving her husband (if he is still alive) and the older kids to raise the younger ones.

Of course things aren't perfect now either. But I call it progress.

Someone from my social class could only dream not of doing a PhD, but even of finishing High School not so long ago. I think that the Golden age is a pagan myth, every age has its pros and cons ( with the exception of, dunno, crazy shit like WWII). progress? In some areas, in other I see regress, but quoting my fellow Catholic Tolkien "

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”​

 

[Foreigner]

Over the last ten years, I've had a pretty disgusting existence and can barely look at myself in the mirror. I've been in the psych ward about 30 times for psychosis since my first break at 19, now at 29 I'm unemployed and back living at my mom's place. But it's not just the psychosis that's destroyed my life. I also hate life from a philosophical standpoint that's independent of my circumstance. The whole system we are brought into is a fucking joke. I hate the bullshit concept of money and making a living, I just resent existing in this system in general. Over the last five years I've traveled a lot, which I should feel grateful for, but most of what I've felt was a since of disgust of the excess poverty/inequality everywhere I've been. In Medellin for instance, you have pieces of shit gentrifying the whole city, while a sizeable population lives in houses made out of plastic. No exaggeration. Leave the tourist area in that cesspool and that is what you see. An enormous garbage dump near a river that should be blue but has turned mud brown due to waste, with plastic houses alongside it. Depressing and sickening to see, especially considering that here in the US you have companies paying thousands of dollars to advertise prescription drugs, injury attorneys, etc, and even the worst off here have it a lot better than most of the world.

I don't mean to rant but I have just had enough. Money can eat shit, the bankers and politicians can eat shit as well. As I get older, I find that most people are pretty selfish, worthless creatures, who would sell out of their own family for the right price. Everything is about money even if not everyone wants to admit it. There is no reason whatsoever that people should be living the nightmare they do, while most people I come across in the US are unbelievably ungrateful. Walk into a walmart and most people look like they've just crawled out of the sewer. Repulsive. Anyway, I'm just done. Done with this country, done with my own shitty health, done with this trash life. Don't know what I aim to accomplish with this but needed to vent.

Thank you for sharing this, it was comforting for me to know I'm not alone in my observations. You have helped me on one of the lowest days I've had in a long time.

We are living in degenerate times. Most of the world has lived in squalor for a long time, but the western world was a beacon of hope because of its standard of living and progressive attitude. Now all that has been hijacked by private interests, yet again, and the never-ending cycle of humanity drudges forward. I don't fool myself into thinking it was so great when I was younger, but the 1990s in the city I grew up in really were peak before the major downward spiral started -- we just didn't know it at the time. So in a way, it's harder for me to see what has been lost than to have been born right now and just grew up with things the way they are now. A lot of people in my generation feel this way. The 90s were full of hope. The major cities each had their own unique, organic developments that made them special places. Now they are all being turned into generic, gentrified globalist ghettos. Little did we know that right around the corner it would start getting really, really shitty.

I too have suffered with major health problems, mostly physical, but it has impacted my mental health severely. Even though I have the same basic needs as everyone else, I have increasingly stopped seeking peace and comfort from the outside world. Most humans are just the blind leading the blind and the average person I interact with is a robot. There are plenty of "nice" people but they are unaware. It seems impossible to rally people to do the things that really need to be done to create a bright human civilization. Everything just ends up being gamed by psychopaths.

This is all to say... the only thing that matters to me now is spirituality, whatever that looks like. It's a lantern I keep lit in the dark, always. That's how you prevent it from turning into nihilism and oblivion. Trusting that something is greater than all this crap, even if you can't put a name or form to that greater thing. The fragrance of trust keeps you grounded and not fooled by appearances like every other poor sap out there. If you believe that what you see is all there is, then no shit you're going to be selfish and try to extract any bit of pleasure you can. So I just meditate while sitting right smack dab in the middle of a slow-motion apocalypse. I dance to my own beat as the world falls apart. Why not? Nothing makes sense anymore so I might as well just do WTF I want.

And I'm sitting here in my underwear at noon, having not showered or done one productive thing with my day. I look like shit. Do I care right now? No.

 

[kiely]

 

[jasperkent]

I do have serious concerns about a lot of what I see in the world today.
However, I also know that every generation (for at least 5,000 years) has longed for the simpler life of the old days....

https://www.cato.org/publications/commentary/why-cant-stop-longing-for-good-old-days#:~:text=People%20have%20been%20longing%20for,what%20it%20used%20to%20be.

 

[paltatomate]

@washingtonbound How are you today?

 

[yaesutom]

I can relate - what I think is happening is your inner monologue voice says tons of negative stuff regularly and you start identifying with it. The voice is not you it’s a running brain program.

I started yelling (in my head) “SHUSH!” Or saying “shut the f up” to the negative voice anytime it started ranting about some shit. I did this to where it became a habit and automatic. Eventually after like a month of this the voice almost totally went away and also my years long depression lifted.

Also what helped was me purposely removing myself from politics. I quit getting into political arguments on social media.. if I started typing out an angry rant I just deleted it instead of hitting send. I also removed all politics from my TikTok account and deleted politics related Facebook groups etc. I quit watching news channels.

I realize tons of people I know are getting nihilistic and angry from consuming too much of that stuff.

When you give a rant power or feed into it, it reinforces it and makes it get even more negative.

I started seeing the world differently just by doing those two things and can now see how the world is as you would expect it to be when we all evolved from natural selection. We are all animals after all. It’s either this life or not existing at all. Sometimes we think way too much. I notice you use a lot of words like disgust - I notice my brain used to do he same thing it would add extra words making the thought feel worse. Our brains evolved and it’s a miracle it even exists at all and isn’t even more fucked up.

I also started being purposely grateful because I happened to be born in literally the best time on earth compared to anytime before. I agree with a lot of what you said but doing the 3 things has made me 90% less negative. Sometimes I’ll occasionally rant in my head and use similar words but now I’m aware of it and put a stop to it real quick. I literally just say in my head “shush!” And stop it.

Those thoughts will take you down if you feed into it and make life worse.

——————-

I am over age 40 and I really needed to stop being so negative as this might be the only existence I’ll ever have.

I also just can’t deal with being around people way into politics - even tho that’s how I grew up and have been for a long ass time. I’ve seen how it goes and it’s usually never good.

 

[fennech]

I do relate.
I used to be a happy person who enjoyed life. Until a few months my wife and I decided to separate for a while. Being alone made me realize I'm trapped in a life I don't like. Also that I am very lonely. All the friends are my wife's. I only have my mother suffers from depression. I don't like my job and would like to start something of my own. But I would need my wife's support, or that of some of her friends. And it's so important for my mother that I stay married, because she is very religious.
So I stay where I am, and just go through the day with eyes closed, hoping that someday it will all be over.

 

[kiely]

I am so tired. I have to sleep in the middle of the day. My eyes are burning. But it's a okay. Too be so tired is so sad. Oh my. The heat's making me want to pukey.

Make your day yours and grant yourself good blessings. I hope everyone has the energy and happiness that they deserve.

 

[endlessnameless]

I do relate.
I used to be a happy person who enjoyed life. Until a few months my wife and I decided to separate for a while. Being alone made me realize I'm trapped in a life I don't like. Also that I am very lonely. All the friends are my wife's. I only have my mother suffers from depression. I don't like my job and would like to start something of my own. But I would need my wife's support, or that of some of her friends. And it's so important for my mother that I stay married, because she is very religious.
So I stay where I am, and just go through the day with eyes closed, hoping that someday it will all be over.

My friend thats no way to live your life. I'm sorry to hear that your and your wife have separated, but hear me out: this could be a blessing in disguise in the sense that now you have the time to reflect upon your life and see clearly the changes you need to make to become a happier person. You've already listed the conditions that are causing you distress, and with the realisation of these issues and the time you now have to yourself comes an oppertunity to make the necessary changes, wouldn't you agree?

When you say 'I just go through the day with eyes closed, hoping that someday it will all be over' you remind me of myself when I completely gave up on even trying to change my circumstances. I used to literally lie in bed with my eyes closed hoping that some day I wouldn't wake up, until after many years I eventually got tired of that and thought 'what if I gave it one last try? what do I have to lose by trying to change my circumstances?'.

What do you mean when you say you "hope someday it will all be over"? Life itself or the circumstances that are causing you this misery you speak of? Because if its the former then you can be sure that yes indeed someday your Life will come to an end, however it could be 20-30+ years down the line and that spells decades of a sad, lonely existence that will eventually turn into bitterness and regret, then you die. If its the latter, I can tell you from first hand experience that waiting around in the hopes that your problems will dissolve is simply not going to happen for you. You need to take ownership of these issues you listed and begin making very real attempts at changing them. Once you take ownership you empower yourself to make these changes. I've met countless people who victimise themselves by assigning blame to either other people or their circumstances and as a result their situation never changes. Decades later they're still miserable and if they're not in the same boat they're in an even worse one because problems tend to compound over time, not improve.

Lets face it - your mother won't be around forever. If things don't improve in your relationship with your wife (and I truly hope they do), then at some point she wont be around, so what have you then? Just yourself and your problems.

I hope this hasnt come across as too harsh - I'm just trying to be realistic with you. My own life isnt ideal at the moment and I've been working on it for a long time. Often I get setbacks but I know I need to keep on trying because someday soon I'm going to get it right and you can too my friend.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Over the last ten years, I've had a pretty disgusting existence and can barely look at myself in the mirror. I've been in the psych ward about 30 times for psychosis since my first break at 19, now at 29 I'm unemployed and back living at my mom's place. But it's not just the psychosis that's destroyed my life. I also hate life from a philosophical standpoint that's independent of my circumstance. The whole system we are brought into is a fucking joke. I hate the bullshit concept of money and making a living, I just resent existing in this system in general. Over the last five years I've traveled a lot, which I should feel grateful for, but most of what I've felt was a since of disgust of the excess poverty/inequality everywhere I've been. In Medellin for instance, you have pieces of shit gentrifying the whole city, while a sizeable population lives in houses made out of plastic. No exaggeration. Leave the tourist area in that cesspool and that is what you see. An enormous garbage dump near a river that should be blue but has turned mud brown due to waste, with plastic houses alongside it. Depressing and sickening to see, especially considering that here in the US you have companies paying thousands of dollars to advertise prescription drugs, injury attorneys, etc, and even the worst off here have it a lot better than most of the world.

I don't mean to rant but I have just had enough. Money can eat shit, the bankers and politicians can eat shit as well. As I get older, I find that most people are pretty selfish, worthless creatures, who would sell out of their own family for the right price. Everything is about money even if not everyone wants to admit it. There is no reason whatsoever that people should be living the nightmare they do, while most people I come across in the US are unbelievably ungrateful. Walk into a walmart and most people look like they've just crawled out of the sewer. Repulsive. Anyway, I'm just done. Done with this country, done with my own shitty health, done with this trash life. Don't know what I aim to accomplish with this but needed to vent.

Sounds shitty but your description seems so familiar, many mentioned this. Its rotten but you are part of the precipation.
Like me, but imo most people just disolve in this absurd sort of social system. Dont know whats better knowing,
or just tagging along the 9 to 5 song. get your money/ status/ or whatever.

While we are nature. Jungle people. Not production units.
What you experience how bad it is, that is our world.
Only the few (want to) notice this. What you feel is no more then a logical reaction on reality.

A somewhat far from my bed example, not going into more closely emotional things.
Turkey, they wanna join the EU, that parasite Erdogan. Over there is no medical care unless legal employed.
There are people exploiting kids when beging for money. But most bizar was being stormed by about 100 kids,
all with plastic bead handmade wrist bands. Buy buy buy .... we run away. Terrefying.

People used to roam in groups of 30/ 50 maybe max. Close communitys with a mutual aim, survival, reproduction and love/ fun.
When one has the blues a other lifts the weight of them shoulders, or at least are compassionate.

So by coincedence I started listening to Marley, reading about Rastafarai, felt relieved.
They say the same thing about western society/ Babylon, and offer solutions.

Till that Jamaican guy won x-factor, and apperently Rasta's are in general homophobic.
As written in the bible, and he was gay, so that put Rastafarai a step back.
The bible, is just a really old book, why take everything in it serious.
What about one love, unity. Humans were there long before it was written.

Hope you find a way, I had some insults and traumas which defenit screwed the way i think and feel.
And influenced my writing skills, my grammar and spelling are screwed up.
But not having a 9-5 job, caused by my ex employer,
and the state institution that takes over and gives you money instead.
They all together with my doc made one big screw up.
Got em by the balls, freedom at last, a blessing imo, not a curse. edit: a 9-5 job.

Easy for me to say as i left my Mom long ago,
but have other shit like an passive aggresive ex with whom my kids live.
Seems hurt never goes away.

Reading your post it seems very alike. Aging for me improved my skill off relevating things, 50+.


PLUR

 

[emkee_reinvented]

You rant, well how do we call what I wrote. An amandement ?

Sorry for the lenght, having about the same issue as you, and this came out yesterday.
How your doing now washingtonbound?

 

[emkee_reinvented]

(t)JAH), better then feeling like your the only one. It is ... bad. Your not.

But living at your mom, nothing wrong with that you are 29. And psychosis, not something you asked for.
Its a weight you carry, scary. I have witnessed a friend going in psychosis several times,
and it looks like pure mental torture and it alters the brain. Or so it seems.

Got em myself but these were seizure related, Ictal-psychosis.
During them i was blacked out, lucky me. But for a long while I was scared when will be the next.

From here say i was a human monkey, scary to others, did things me wouldnt even consider.
Like playing with an needle the infuus was on, while i have needle phobia.
So when in psychosis state thats not you, though you do get the baggage of it, the aftermath.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Watching this made me feel better.
So i share, dont know if it helps others, but to me its good to know that good things are happening too.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

I don't fool myself into thinking it was so great when I was younger, but the 1990s in the city I grew up in really were peak before the major downward spiral started -- we just didn't know it at the time. ... the only thing that matters to me now is spirituality, whatever that looks like. It's a lantern I keep lit in the dark, always. That's how you prevent it from turning into nihilism and oblivion. Trusting that something is greater than all this crap, even if you can't put a name or form to that greater thing. The fragrance of trust keeps you grounded and not fooled by appearances like every other poor sap out there. If you believe that what you see is all there is, then no shit you're going to be selfish and try to extract any bit of pleasure you can. So I just meditate while sitting right smack dab in the middle of a slow-motion apocalypse. I dance to my own beat as the world falls apart. Why not? Nothing makes sense anymore so I might as well just do WTF I want.

And I'm sitting here in my underwear at noon, having not showered or done one productive thing with my day. I look like shit. Do I care right now? No.

Yeah i didn t either, grown ups were more concerned bout the cold war/ atom bombs then sucking the blood out of our brother/ sisters and momma Earth.

Spirituality for me include intiution, unity, love, could go on. Its a really important part, and its missing here, and its spreading.
Or so it seems. And music has scientifically been proven as cure. For sure. Though heroine sounds great too.
Imagine what ordinary people listen to, crap not music, or your own beat.

Ok i shave and try to behave, but i am basickly in my underwear, like you

 

[Foreigner]

Yeah i didn t either, grown ups were more concerned bout the cold war/ atom bombs then sucking the blood out of our brother/ sisters and momma Earth.

Spirituality for me include intiution, unity, love, could go on. Its a really important part, and its missing here, and its spreading.
Or so it seems. And music has scientifically been proven as cure. For sure. Though heroine sounds great too.
Imagine what ordinary people listen to, crap not music, or your own beat.

Ok i shave and try to behave, but i am basickly in my underwear, like you

I read something today by someone... who said... evil is becoming popular. I actually agree with that.

It's in pop culture and everything. Dark imagery, violence and really low vibes.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

I read something today by someone... who said... evil is becoming popular. I actually agree with that.

It's in pop culture and everything. Dark imagery, violence and really low vibes.

Its more like a provoked necassity, all gouvernement paided organisations bending law.
Gets so frustarting the luring of becoming evil, to a degree, as i am not violent.

Sarcasme, cynisme an making others after the call you a retard the fool am guilty to.
Living gets hard, while there is enough room for love unity atm.
So I ll watch myself, think it infected/ effected me too.