Morpher001: First, I don't wear an ankle braclet.
Second, there may be some slight paranoia present, in that I'm hyper-vigilant when out in public; that is, I'm constantly scanning my environment in search of negative bodylanguage and I'm always listening attentively to every person's conversation when I'm near them, more so than most people do, I think.
When I hear the slander I'll quickly look in the direction from which it came. I think I spot the person who said it and then look at them, but only occasionally have they been looking back at me (I'd say about 30% of the time). As I said in an earlier post, it's usually said very quietly, and I think it (usually) isn't the slanderers' intention for me to hear it. They just feel like pointing out my "shortcomings" to their friends, family or whoever is beside them. (Apparently, whatever it is about me, it's interesting enough for slanderers to want to share their negative opinions with those close by, since it's such grand and important news 8))
I should add that, sometimes, I don't hear the
entire context in which the derogatory remark was made. I sometimes just hear a derogatory remark without its context as I walk by and immediately turn my head to face the person who said it.
Having said what I did in the above three paragraphs, however, I still feel that it's usually directed at me. I mean, for instance, when I stop at traffic lights and there's a car with two occupants in the front, one of whom has her lips twisted in contempt and is mouthing something inaudible off, I think it's safe to assume that it's about me. Because often when I drive by such people, they don't refrain from breaking eye contact; they'll continue snarling at me and their lips will still be moving all the while.
About confronting people: I have done this a few times over the past few months. I haven't usually done it to people in the street, but rather to employees of certain businesses, such as pharmacies. For instance, I walked in to a pharmacy one time and I thought I heard a staff member (not an actually pharmacist, just a retail assistant of the pharmacy) quietly mutter something derogatory about me. I approached her on the matter. Of course, she put on a puzzled look and denied everything, saying that she didn't say anything at all, derogatory or otherwise. But she was courteous about it, and I didn't approach with any aggression.
I have done the above in a few other shops, as well. Again, not surprisingly, the staff looked puzzled and denied having said anything. More often than not, however, I let such behavior slide; I don't approach anyone about it.
Artic, I've been reintegrating for over 3 years now. I think I've become accustomed to life on the outside now. However, your points about approaching people have been heeded. It's just not always practical, though. For instance, it's hard to confront people when there are dozens of others within earshot. Also, if I approached everyone who slandered me or abused me in some way, I'd be approaching about 50 people a day.
Tangerin0, thanks for your post and the compliments. It's good to read from someone who has experienced and is experiencing the pain of being labeled "different." Your post made me feel less alien
The discussion here isn't about why he did something 7 years ago. Yes it's awful, but it's not even the worst thing I've heard on this website. I think he needs professional help, not thats he's a "mentalist" but it could help him iron out some issues. Definitely sounds lil paranoid.
