bluntedskier
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2009
- Messages
- 192
I am physically dependent on Xanax... thanks to my doctor. It's pretty bad, I meet with him on tuesdays (yesterday), he gave me my scripts, but I was out skiing some rails in the city late for a photoshoot and then ended up drinking after, forgot to get them filled....
Woke up, feeling pretty anxious since that is the effect of drinking a lot has on me the next morning, so I took the remaining Diazepam I had (30mg), didn't do much but let me nap a bit more and sleep off my moderate hangover.
Then I had a real lazy morning... before I knew it was 145 and I was still sitting on my computer in my boxers and it hit me - I hadn't taken Xanax in a long time. Withdrawl feelings starting to creep up on me. At the dosage I am at (6mg extended release per day), it is scary because I know that there is the chance of seizure if too long a period of time goes between not having it in my system. So I started to basically have the beginnings of a panic attack, luckily I had 30mg more left of Diazepam, so I chewed those up quick.
But it really didn't seem to do shit. And so I was running all around my house searching for where I left my perscriptions... finally found them, literally RAN to the CVS nearby, all sweating and a bit shaky, real impatient, but I got my refills for the Xanax and Vallium, downed 4mg of Xanax XR on the spot... felt safe again right away through the placebo effect.
This is a horrible way to live... and for my new years resolution, I am determined to get off it entirely, obviously over a long period of careful tapering....
Anyways, tomorrow I have an early, active day planned, so I decided to continue to lounge back today. I have some hydrocodones 5/500's left over from my wisdom tooth that was recently extracted. I never had any sort of opiate tolerance in my life, like I would get high off of one shitty 5/500 hydro.....
Well, for the first time in my life, I actually found myself enjoying opiates. I normally just feel shitty and really uncomfortable when I've tried them. So I ended up taking them everyday for about a week until I ran out. I liked the energetic, creative, functional high I got from them mixed with caffeine and vitamins.
The orthopedic surgeon, being an awesome guy, gave me an unnecessary extra refill.... so I reupped on those of course. (I didn't take any yesterday, just drank at night). But I have noticed that I have gained a small tolerance for the first time ever. So after eating (I always eat with them), I took 20mg, and I'm for sure feeling it.
It's been pretty good so far, not too intense, not too weak, and I've done several tasks and things I've been meaning to do. However, I am feeling a bit anxious along with it. I am not really worried about the health risk in CNS depression here, but more just curious........ I shouldn't be feeling anxious at all because even though I have an insanely high tolerance to benzos, I've had 60mg Diazepam, and 4mg Xanax XR today already. (And I never feel anything from benzos, they don't get me high and I never use them 'recreationally') So... that is kind of a lot of benzos, enough to make someone without a tolerance sleep for days haha.
But my question is it possible that the Vicoden is actually making me anxious itself? I thought opiates are supposed to be the opposite, in terms of calming?
Because now I am tempted to pop like 20mg of Diazepam, but is that excessive or will that mess up the Vicoden high?
I am not going to sleep anytime soon or drinking any alcohol. It's just that I am feeling great from it, minus this slight bit of anxiety. And there is nothing I hate more than anxiety.
Sorry for writing so much, I tend to do this when I take opiates, and actually, just in general.
peace,
- youngin
Woke up, feeling pretty anxious since that is the effect of drinking a lot has on me the next morning, so I took the remaining Diazepam I had (30mg), didn't do much but let me nap a bit more and sleep off my moderate hangover.
Then I had a real lazy morning... before I knew it was 145 and I was still sitting on my computer in my boxers and it hit me - I hadn't taken Xanax in a long time. Withdrawl feelings starting to creep up on me. At the dosage I am at (6mg extended release per day), it is scary because I know that there is the chance of seizure if too long a period of time goes between not having it in my system. So I started to basically have the beginnings of a panic attack, luckily I had 30mg more left of Diazepam, so I chewed those up quick.
But it really didn't seem to do shit. And so I was running all around my house searching for where I left my perscriptions... finally found them, literally RAN to the CVS nearby, all sweating and a bit shaky, real impatient, but I got my refills for the Xanax and Vallium, downed 4mg of Xanax XR on the spot... felt safe again right away through the placebo effect.
This is a horrible way to live... and for my new years resolution, I am determined to get off it entirely, obviously over a long period of careful tapering....
Anyways, tomorrow I have an early, active day planned, so I decided to continue to lounge back today. I have some hydrocodones 5/500's left over from my wisdom tooth that was recently extracted. I never had any sort of opiate tolerance in my life, like I would get high off of one shitty 5/500 hydro.....
Well, for the first time in my life, I actually found myself enjoying opiates. I normally just feel shitty and really uncomfortable when I've tried them. So I ended up taking them everyday for about a week until I ran out. I liked the energetic, creative, functional high I got from them mixed with caffeine and vitamins.
The orthopedic surgeon, being an awesome guy, gave me an unnecessary extra refill.... so I reupped on those of course. (I didn't take any yesterday, just drank at night). But I have noticed that I have gained a small tolerance for the first time ever. So after eating (I always eat with them), I took 20mg, and I'm for sure feeling it.
It's been pretty good so far, not too intense, not too weak, and I've done several tasks and things I've been meaning to do. However, I am feeling a bit anxious along with it. I am not really worried about the health risk in CNS depression here, but more just curious........ I shouldn't be feeling anxious at all because even though I have an insanely high tolerance to benzos, I've had 60mg Diazepam, and 4mg Xanax XR today already. (And I never feel anything from benzos, they don't get me high and I never use them 'recreationally') So... that is kind of a lot of benzos, enough to make someone without a tolerance sleep for days haha.
But my question is it possible that the Vicoden is actually making me anxious itself? I thought opiates are supposed to be the opposite, in terms of calming?
Because now I am tempted to pop like 20mg of Diazepam, but is that excessive or will that mess up the Vicoden high?
I am not going to sleep anytime soon or drinking any alcohol. It's just that I am feeling great from it, minus this slight bit of anxiety. And there is nothing I hate more than anxiety.
Sorry for writing so much, I tend to do this when I take opiates, and actually, just in general.
peace,
- youngin
