Benzos how worried should I be...?

[benz0f1end]

Long time lurker here, finally decided to make an account:D. Well after a traumatic event that occurred near the end of June I began taking xanax because I was in a constant panic (and I mean severe panic) from the event that had transpired. I was originally prescribed a couple zyprexa and some ativan (30 0.5mg pills with 1 refill) right after the event occurred, but quickly ran through those. I knew from the beginning how addictive benzos were and told myself I wouldnt let them get the best of me. I think I was wrong though. They literally made all my worries go away. I kept buying onax bars off the street. My use has gradually increased from probably about 1mg a day in July to what I have been taking the past couple weeks, which is about 2mg/day + tagament to potentiate it (plus lots of alcohol with this combo on weekends.) So I'm at around 3.5 months total of steady, increasing use.

Now here is my question- I am nearly out of benzos and I am worried about withdrawals. I have half an onax bar and one 2mg klonopin left. I have been trying to somewhat "rapid taper" myself over the past couple days, knowing I would be running out of benzos and am already experiencing minor withdrawal symptoms. I had 2mg xanax + tagament three days ago, 1.5mg xanax + tagament two days ago, and last night I managed 1mg xanax + tagament. I definitely am noticing withdrawal effects (high heart rate, twitching, headache, high anxiety) but it's not nearly as shitty as I thought it would be after reading other people's experiences tapering and coming off C/T.

My plan: Take 1mg xanax + tagament tonight, take 0.5mg xanax + tagament tomorrow night, 0.25mg +tagament the next two nights, then take 0.5mg klonopin everyday for four days after that. Do you guys think this will keep me out of seizure danger and allow me to safely drop the habit? I can stand the feeling shitty part I just don't want to have a seizure. I can get more benzos if I really need to but I would rather just quit completely. The side effects of coming off aren't worth it and I would hate to be OFF an ON with this drug especially since withdrawals can last a long time. Also, I do not want to get my psych involved and be labeled as a drug seeker/user for the rest of my life. I already acknowledge the fact that abusing this medication was stupid and am trying as best I can to get off it. What is yalls input on my situation? any advice is greatly appreciated.

TLDR: will I seize from pretty much going C/T off 3 months of 2-3mg xanax a day?

 

[T. Calderone]

The one time I binged for maybe 5-6 weeks (I was in a fog and can't recall exactly) I tricked myself into needing it. It's a harsh withdrawal and for me it was way worse than opiate withdrawal. If possible, try to taper and if you can't get ready to be sick for a while. Not everybody has seizures but it's a possibility. Is there someone that can stay and watch you and help you through this?

 

[maxalfie]

Well done benz0f1end On recognising your problem and doing something about it before it gets any worse.
I wish you good luck mate and hope you beat the benzos.

 

[PinK~cloud]

hey man,
first off, great job acknowledging your "addiction." It takes soo long for most people to realize they're addicted to the way a substance makes them feel--so its a pretty big deal that you're recognizing that.
In terms of withdrawal, I have a little advice. The biggest I can offer would be to get something like gabapentin from a doctor. It's very helpful in benzo withdrawal, and since its easily perscribed because its unscheduled. Another option would be to go to another doctor. Most doctors are VERY nice in helping people taper off a benzo addiction (at least in my experience). However, if all else fails, alcohol *should* keep you out of benzo withdrawal. Just be careful not to over do it.

Best of luck mate

 

[junglebook]

Go see your doc with that exact information and ask for some diazepam to help reduce the withdrawal symptoms. They work wonders most docs know this. Yes you can have a seizure from the amount uve been taking, Its most certainly a possibilty if u stop abruptly.

 

[T. Calderone]

What Pinkcloud said about alcohol reminded me about my own alcohol problem. I was feeling really sick from the benzo withdrawal and she suggested I go to hospital which I was not prepared to do. But she reminded me you cannot go withdraw from both simultaneously. So drinking helped me get through some of it although I was still miserable. At least the hospital can supervise you and give you meds to ease your symptoms. I would have felt so much better had I gone.

 

[cornerstone430]

yeah control your habit while your ahead is my advice. Benzo's are a hard one to kick especially as mentioned above once you think need them all the time is when the real addiction rises up.

siezures can be a side effect of benzo w/d and not to play around with. Are you seizure prone/had a siezure before. If so your 20+ times more likely to have another one. Had afew myself but not from benzo w/d. Almost though not fun.,

 

[benz0f1end]

Update: Thanks for all the support/advice guys. No, I've never had a seizure nor do I believe I am seizure prone. I managed 1mg alp last night but only got a few hours sleep. I have some propranolol and I find it REALLY helps the w/d symptoms like shaky hands and high heart rate etc... Feeling all right so far!

 

[moe.ron]

Propranolol will probably help you out more then anything else, so good job there. Ive seen it be the key factor in seeing benzo addicts stay clean through the worst of withdrawal.

Anyways my only other advice would have been to just taper over the course of another month or a month and half. Believe me I been in those exact same shoes my man. Just straight benzo induced apathy leading to steadily bigger doses for a few months, saying ill go just one more day on then come off, just too suddenly realize before your in too deep that the time to come off is now. Then seeing all these people on the internet telling me to go through a slow taper, some of them giving me taper schedules longer then i been on benzos to begin with, when I just want to be sober. And my brain just couldnt understand that. Or mostly just refused, because the reality of having to deal with a withdrawal complex that lasts longer then the amount of time you have been using that drug can be a very fucking disheartening thing.

But that was the reality of my first wd process. I worked my way up to 6 mg of kpin in the course of just 6 months. Tried to cold turkey and almost killed myself. At that point I was willing to slow taper lol, took 2 months to withdrawal, but I still did it to fast, usually dropping a mg a week, and after I was off completely off I continued experiencing withdrawal symptoms for several more months before I just eventually through in the towel and returned to benzos. Dont do this... I was only on "back on" for another 5 or 6 months, however by the time I was done this time I was doing 10-15 mg of kpin a day depending. I am now sitting here in month 4 of my current benzo wd, 1 month since my last benzo, still only getting 4 hours of sleep, still getting constant adrenaline rushes, still sweating all the time, still have a pounding heart, still have elevated blood pressure, but they are all so much better then they use to be. And I can describe how happy I am just to being seeing these things return to normal, even if it is a longer process then any one would like. SO there is that light at the end of the tunnel if you do find your benzo wd symptoms hang around. They go away too...

If you want my honest guess, which is the best I can give, I would prepare to be in the amount of wd you're in now for the next half-month to month or so, followed with much milder benzo withdrawal "waves" for longer. From my observations length and intensity of withdrawal directly corresponding to length and intensity of your using (duh lol). You didnt use excessively high doses and were not on it for very long, so who knows I may be drastically over estimating the size of your up coming withdrawal, and I certainly dont want to add to your anxieties. Anyways good luck man!

 

[pbuilder]

Dude, make a plan too stop now!

3-4 months is enough to have you physically dependent but still early enough that if you get out now the benzo withdrawals won't be nearly asbad as they can be. Keep on the road you're on now and in 2 years when your on 5-10mg of Xanax a day and try to stop, you'll likely end up with withdrawals that last months, even years! It is single-handedly the worst and most dangerous withdrawals around. You can die, you can have paws that are still severe enough that you become severely depresssed a year or more later. I've read posts and stories from people with first hand experience saying that a year after they quit they still get uncomfortable tinglings in their body, a haze over their brain, literally feeling stupider, insomnia, depersonalization, weird audio buzzing, and not feeling like they are even the same person anymore.

If you Talk to a doc now after only a few months of habitual use you can do a quick and safe taper and get back to yourself in no time at all. Quit while your still in the shallow end man.

 

[chrisalt]

You dont have enough for a proper taper. After 3.5 months of use you need a legit taper. Go to your doc or hospital tell them the situation and they will but you on enough valium to ween you down and off benzos safely.

Good luck. I am taking Benzo's for the 3rd time. I have been addicted for periods of 1 and 2 years and now and on 1.5 months and counting. Benzo WD is a bitch get out while you can, and do it safe.