how to not be too available?

[MyFinalRest]

I never said don't respond to texts, pick up phone calls, and go out often.
I said don't be obsessive about initiating things.
RESPOND to everything.
BUT don't send five facebook messages in a row, and five text messages in a row, and then call him three times. That *is* over the top.
I don't play games. I just try to control my obsessiveness. And if someone else is obsessive like me, then I think it is okay to limit communication like I did.

I'm really confused. So you want a girl to obsessively text, FB message, call, and IM you? Like twenty times a day? That is attractive to you? To be honest, every person I talked to has NOT been into this.

Your right, I guess Lost Ego misread this and I did too. But, in itself, Lost Ego makes a good point. I don't think he wasn't saying he "wanted obsessive stuff" but just not to be "blown off" as if getting blown off or when a girl plays "hard to get" makes you actually want to talk to her more. Playing hard to get can be quite rude.

 

[llama112]

Your right, I guess Lost Ego misread this and I did too. But, in itself, Lost Ego makes a good point. I don't think he wasn't saying he "wanted obsessive stuff" but just not to be "blown off" as if getting blown off or when a girl plays "hard to get" makes you actually want to talk to her more. Playing hard to get can be quite rude.

Well I definitely wouldn't recommend blowing someone off if you are interested in them. I've never done the hard to get thing personally, I don't really find it effective. Responding to messages and initiating some messages (but not too many) is important, I think.


Flirt, make it obvious you're interested, initiate some things, but don't go overboard

 

[sleepy]

hey Capt H - you're the bomb. great to "hear" from you again.. good post. great advice! hope the OP agrees. and hope you're well..

xo
g

1) have your own life, your own interests, and learn when to lay off the electronic communications devices.
2) try to have a good meeting time - so that youre not plannign to hear from them till then, and if you don't, and you go there and don't see them, then you'll just text and catch up later sort of thing. That way there's not a hundred text messages back and forth.
3) If you're thinking about them, do something nice for them without interrupting their without-you-time, like make them a gift, find them a gift, draw them some artwork, something to show you're independent but also care to share a gift with them, without being overly needy in giving it to them as well.

 

[Need4speed]

games and mental games drives me insane

 

[sleepy]

games and mental games drives me insane

drive you insane, why? we are a evolved society, "games" go w/the lot.... i will make a distinction, however, "games" to manipulate someone, vs. "games" to care for yourself, are different, entirely. in the male/female match, "games" are inevitable. it's part of the thrill, and past that; it's part of the selection process. i'm a woman, and i don't want a needy man. i realized too late that i want a family, and now, trying to create a sibling for my beautiful boy has been disappointing, but that's my own issue. meanwhile, a woman wants a strong man so she can stay home and care for her children. i know men can do just as good a job, my brother did, but it's a fact that women, after giving birth, have major physiological reactions to any baby's cries, etc....