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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

How to keep happy?

RLP

RLP

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 12, 2010
Messages
1,353
Morning all.

I'll get straight to the point, there's a high probability I'm going to get dumped tomorrow.

There's nothing I can do about it, I'm still totally in love with the girl but she's not sure if this is a long term thing and has practically given up making an effort to sustain the relationship. She is going to "sleep on it" and make a firm decision tomorrow. I'm not holding out much hope.

I had to leave work early today. I have spent the last five hours in bed. I have suffered from depression in the past and I know the next few days and weeks, presuming this is it, are going to be horrendous.

I don't want this to happen but I am resigned to losing her. It's difficult because I don't want to draw a line under us, but I still want what makes her happy to occur, so I can't be angry at her, I'm just lying here in a half-daze.

There is no one else I want to be with.

I don't think anyone can help us as an entity. In the end it's her decision and I don't want to change it. I would like to know any tips how to get through the next few days and weeks though.

And here is proof not all of my threads are troll threads.

Big kisses to you all.
Ruru. Xx

Edit: Obligatory squirrel picture. Picture very much related.

sad_squirrel_by_blackdeathrose14-d2xt28n.jpg
 
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Embrace your inner Squirrel. Other than that, being dumped is definitely a bit shit. Probably better than staying with someone who doesn't really want to be there though. Fish/sea, blah/blah. Not much help but is not really a subject I'm much good at either :|
 
If you love her that much it's going to hurt. We are built for emotional pain as well as emotional gain. But you do have some control over your reaction to that pain. Don't ever lose sight of reality. That in itself can be easier said than done.

2) Valium.
 
Valium makes me more emotional . Just saying like .
 
Breaking up is shit, you're going to have a shit time, but it's good you recognise that if it's not working for her it's not right to try to keep things going. When I split up with my on/off gf once I remember her saying that it wasn't just my decision, which kind of bamboozled me, like there had to be a majority vote or something.

Anyway, if you have friends around you can do fun things with, like some sort of exercise or games, to take your mind off it a bit then that would be a good thing. But also to take time to yourself and it's a good thing to cry if you feel the need.
 
What's the duration of the relationship?

Don't go on a bender, it won't help at all. Eat as well as you can. If you have close friends or family who will help try to see them as much as possible, particularly if they will cook for you and make you eat.
 
jancrow said:
What's the duration of the relationship?

Don't go on a bender, it won't help at all. Eat as well as you can. If you have close friends or family who will help try to see them as much as possible, particularly if they will cook for you and make you eat.
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About a year. I know it doesn't sound long and to be honest, it should make it easier in the long run, but it doesn't make it any easier now.

I haven't been eating well today. I have felt constantly sick and dry-mouthed.

I have a sizeable collection to dip into if required but so far I am ignoring it. I have not ruled out the possibility of railing some MXE though.
 
When the woman I'd left my kids for 13 years previous decided to call it quits, I found meditation very useful.

And the 'no benders' thing's spot on.

Wouldn't know about stalking . . .


Oh, and losing a year of something good's as difficult to handle as 13, I'm sure.
 
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RLP said:
I have a sizeable collection to dip into if required but so far I am ignoring it. I have not ruled out the possibility of railing some MXE though.
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Is it actually going to help? I doubt it. It's quite likely you'll react badly to it given the circumstances. Keep a straight head tonight, it'll definitely help you deal with whatever happens tomorrow. Sleep, food and rest are your friends right now, and maybe getting piss drunk in the company of a good friend (not one of the above) when you know what's going on (presuming you deal well with booze).
 
Getting pissdrunk = worst idea ever imo. Nothing makes feeling miserable worse than drinking. Can make ya do some things you regret in a big way as soon as you sober up too. I'd go for drugs > drinks everytime if getting wasted was unavoidable. Far less likely to end up doing Bad Things. Maybe I'm just particularly bad with booze though.
 
I slept in my car outside my gf's flat one night when she wouldn't answer the door. Wasn't even drunk. That is stalkerish behaviour I think. Looking back all I can think is "arsehole". It was fucking freezing in that car! And very uncomfortable.
 
I've decided to get out of bed and make a tea and watch Got to Dance.
 
Shambles said:
Getting pissdrunk = worst idea ever imo. Nothing makes feeling miserable worse than drinking. Can make ya do some things you regret in a big way as soon as you sober up too. I'd go for drugs > drinks everytime if getting wasted was unavoidable. Far less likely to end up doing Bad Things. Maybe I'm just particularly bad with booze though.
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Fair enough, that's why I stipulated that it should be with a good friend.... but if drinking brings out badness in you don't do it!

I don't seem to do mental things when I'm drunk (any more) and during my last big breakup took the edge off with park bench drinking followed by lots of vodka at a friend's house followed by some throwing up and blacking out. I guess that another person's brain / body could have taken them in another direction but being wankered in the company of someone who would listen to my increasingly incoherent mumbling about what went wrong was good for me at that particular point in time.
 
Now, listen very carefully. If this young woman decides to dump you, that's her prerogative. It's not the end of the world for you; there are several million possible lovers waiting for you out there and chances are you'll find one sooner rather than later. I understand you may be feeling emotional, particularly if you're on the tranqs, but you don't want to throw away your life in a moment of madness. Do you?

So, whatever you do, don't kill her and chop her into small pieces for ease of disposal. The CPS are pretty thorough with serious cases and will study your online musings. Your previous thread will blow any hope of a manslaughter verdict out of the water and you'll be down for life with a rec, which is no fate for a young man. So, and I'm sure the rest of the forum are with me here, I urge you to reconsider your plan before it's too late.
 
^ Ha! Ya. Murder in a fit of jealous rage ain't such a wise move either it has to be said :D

jancrow said:
Fair enough, that's why I stipulated that it should be with a good friend.... but if drinking brings out badness in you don't do it!
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I'm (fairly) sure I've grown out of doing truly stupid shit when drunk and miserable but it was always the trigger to end up doing something or other I really wish I hadn't done - and would almost certainly not have done without the booze. Must depend on the person though, for sure. Probably a bit of a maturity thing too - was not very good at all at being an ex in me younger days :|

Women always seem to have much better support during such times (perhaps a slight over-generalisation ;)). Blokes tend to just try to get you pissed and/or laid which is just about the worst possible approach... for me anyway. Booze can be handy for bringing on the tears though which is definitely helpful. Just not too much booze.
 
keep busy, don't give your self lots of opportunities to mull over everything and let yourself become miserable over the situation. Get out and about and get shit done. Or you can sit about and feel all sorry for yourself and become really miserable. No doubt about it, breaking up is crap. But there are millions of other folk out there.

Keep the pecker up lad.

EDIT:- best avoid drink and drugs if your feeling down about it. The comedown or hangover will make things a million times worse
 
swedger77 said:
keep busy, don't give your self lots of opportunities to mull over everything and let yourself become miserable over the situation. Get out and about and get shit done. Or you can sit about and feel all sorry for yourself and become really miserable. No doubt about it, breaking up is crap. But there are millions of other folk out there.

Keep the pecker up lad.

EDIT:- best avoid drink and drugs if your feeling down about it. The comedown or hangover will make things a million times worse
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I agree it's best not to wallow in self-pity but I reckon a person's entitled to an hour or so of it. When my best mate died I didn't cry. Not until four or five years later when I cried for about an hour solid. I've got to say I felt so much better for it, I'd been keeping it inside all that time and it wasn't doing me any good. I was pished at the time, I'm pro getting pished if you're not the kind to do something stupid when pished.
 
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