how to fail a job interview

[badandwicked]

When asked by the interviewers to describe a time you coped with a stressful situation, tell them about the time you saw a ghost.

True story.

 

[jak40]

Take drugs; put some peanut butter in your underwear and take a lick of it. Works for military service.

 

[mydrugbuddy]

love the last 2 ; a mate of mine actually passed a ghoshtly schoolboy in the streetdressed in 1800s clothees, when he turned round he had gone

i could also put underpants on my head, pencils up mu nose/in my ears and say "wibble"

i only have to prolong the chardade for 2 months anyway then its back to college.

 

[scrooloose]

could they be trusted to do that ?> They'd be more likely to report you IMO.

On the other hand you say "stick yer fucking job, you bore me already you rancid up yer ass cunts"

 

[scrooloose]

i've always been a waster, atm i don't wanna work cos i can't..................coming 45 and i 'm still a waster. Dunno what i wanna do, they kept telling me i could do better, i don't. I fucking hate people telling me what to do, ask me nicely, there's a fare chance i'll do it. Talk to me like a cunt, i might run you over (on the other hand, think what you may lose before deciding)

Happy cunts, fuck off. I'm glad you've found a job you like. that don't make sence...........i'm a binge drinking alky, time has no meaning.

peace and love...no, fuck the love. people yoou know.....actually, most people on here are o.k a knock, albion, mialmonkey.....who's the other one, albions a bit of a cunt, ok,i think mthe moderatings good, left wing c;;;,, been worse with myshimhagrime

 

[scrooloose]

i'm staying on benefits for as long as i can, done 11 years of do that, do this, talk poltiely and i might do it

my ex work mate (quit same day....good man, still keep in touch, fucked that twat off) reckoned through soliciters they could of got him 17000, but that cunts got a millionare backing him, he, my mate backed down, but they assured him.....i'd so nocos of......forgot what i'm saying.

 

[Urbain]

i'm staying on benefits for as long as i can, done 11 years of do that, do this, talk poltiely and i might do it

my ex work mate (quit same day....good man, still keep in touch, fucked that twat off) reckoned through soliciters they could of got him 17000, but that cunts got a millionare backing him, he, my mate backed down, but they assured him.....i'd so nocos of......forgot what i'm saying.

Scrooloose by name, screw loose by nature! Lol

 

[parttime crackhead]

When asked by the interviewers to describe a time you coped with a stressful situation, tell them about the time you saw a ghost.

True story.

Awesome. Best one yet.

 

[maxalfie]

When the interviewer asks if u have any questions to ask them, it works well to ask them about how many breaks you get each day,how much paid holiday you get and how many paid sick days you are entitled to each year.

 

[missmeyet?]

Just be yourself

LMAO...best one...

 

[zombywoof]

Go in naked with your dick in a jar. tell them you want to be in the fire brigade. Tell them to smash glass pull hard and you will come as fast as you can

 

[bunnymunro]

Bloke went to job interview and was asked" what is one of your bad attributes? "
"I am too honest" he replied
Interviewer says " I don't think that that's a bad quality"
Bloke says " I don't give a fuck what you think! "

 

[badandwicked]

When the interviewer asks if u have any questions to ask them, it works well to ask them about how many breaks you get each day,how much paid holiday you get and how many paid sick days you are entitled to each year.

also its a good idea to ask for details on their disciplinary procedure, and how they deal with gross misconduct

 

[pinkpapaver]

interviews are shit. i like to turn up at a place that i'd like to work and ask them if they want me. It works.

 

[The Liberal Media]

Mentioned it in another thread
get a pair of reading glasses from 99p shop, break one of the arms on them and knock or crack a lens out and use masking tape to repair them
walk in wearing these and a pocket protector and half sleeve shirt ala the Falling Down look
the aforementioned briefcase would come in handy at this point, especially with an apple rattling around in it ( they would think its a grenade)

mention the ruck you got in at the weekend at the edl rally or the football firm your a member of who got battered but " you stood tall and proud"
This will see you safe , unless your going for a job in govt, finance or legal professions
or if myshkin is interviewing you

in that case your a shoo in & on the fast track to promotion