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How to cope when your friends still use but you are clean?

Zopiclone bandit

Zopiclone bandit

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Joined
Jan 25, 2018
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Well the title should say clean-ish I guess, I've been on here enough for people to know my DOC etc (if you have no idea I love heroin & used since 2001) since just before Xmas I'd started to get really sick of the life that comes with it & I'd been cutting down my use slowly & the last week I've had hardly anything & I'm coming off the gear my own way, to hell with the methadone clinics that will cut my script if I piss dirty for smoking crack (I do smoke crack but I've never had a real issue with it, I can skip it if I want, it's the heroin that breaks my ballls)

Anyway my small social group & believe me it is small as 98% of junkies I hate & I'd not piss on if I saw them on fire still use & they have NO desire to quit, in some ways I don't blame them as life is hard & heroin helps. I'm NOT going to cut contact with these small few as we have helped each other out for decades & we were friends well before we ever picked up the foil & our bond is even more tight in a way now being "brothers in junk"

How do people cope when you got a good friend or friends around that are having a toot in front of you & that PAWS-esque black feeling starts to come over you, all you can do is watch them smoke, your stomach turns over when you smell the gear in the air, it seems to bring on a precipitated withdrawal etc?

Like yesterday I was sweating like I'd come out a shower, my stomach was growling, I had bad enough diarrhea, I'd have been quite happy to blow my head off if I had access to a gun (PAWS) & my mate had gone to score & was saying he would "help me out" & I was 50/50 over it, in the end I turned it up & just sat there. I was quite pleased with myself in a way but what will I do when the gear is right there in front of me? How do you cope & what do you do?
 
Ultimately it doesn't work.

For one thing, when you're out there hitting it hard every day, getting dope and doing dope is a big part of your life. An interpersonal relationship isn't going to work if one person is fixated on something that the other person is trying to avoid, right?

Why would you put yourself in an environment that you're trying to avoid? Why not just ask people not to use if they're around you. If the friendship is real then they will respect your wishes and you'll still see them. If you don't see them again then they were just a running partner anyway...
 
I couldn’t do it. I cut ties with everyone that was using because there was no way I was risking relapse.
we had used together daily for best part of 15 years so we’re close pals. was hard to do but I explained it and they know the score. I saw them couple years ago and they were fucked. Bangin up multiple times a day.
tgst was about 8 years ago. Think it was right choice for me cuz I never used since.
 
Sorry to give you an yet another answer you probably don't want to hear....

But I suspect you may find that eventually you'll have to choose one or the other.

Unless they get clean as well, or unless you have a willpower that puts most junkies to shame, I just don't think it'll work.

I certainly couldn't do it.

There are people from my life using heroin that I miss. But I'm absolutely certain I'd never be able to stay off heroin if they were still in my life. Not so long as they were still using at the very least.

Even if they didn't use around me, so long as they're using, it's just too hard. The temptation is too great.

I wish you luck, I hope you can find a way to make it work, but I certainly couldn't.
 
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F.U.B.A.R. said:
but you owe them fuck all and they'd do it to you in an instant if they were to get a smoke out of it.
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Aint that the truth, I swear yesterday if I'd have got my hands on that guy I called a friend I'd have taken his head off. You are right in what you said & tbh this morning I can't wait for the next time he goes to score & his new missus is in the yard & he can't smoke his white there so needs to come round to my flat so I can him to go fuck himself.


Soso78 said:
Think it was right choice for me cuz I never used since.
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Never since? Not a single line?
Burnt Offerings said:
If the friendship is real then they will respect your wishes and you'll still see them. If you don't see them again then they were just a running partner anyway...
Click to expand...

You have a point there.
 
Zopiclone bandit said:
Aint that the truth, I swear yesterday if I'd have got my hands on that guy I called a friend I'd have taken his head off. You are right in what you said & tbh this morning I can't wait for the next time he goes to score & his new missus is in the yard & he can't smoke his white there so needs to come round to my flat so I can him to go fuck himself.




Never since? Not a single line?


You have a point there.
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Not a single line. There’s no such thing as a single line for me. I’m convinced that if I do it again even once it will be the start of another habit.
I failed so many detoxes over the years that I don’t think I could do it again.
I moved out my area and cut all ties. Was hard, especially as my dealers started ringin me offering testers and gear on tick to get me back. I was spending a lot with them so they didn’t want to lose me as customer. When I wanted a sub they wouldn’t give it when I quit they was offering it for free lol absolute cunts.
 
I'm actually really proud of you man, it's really hard to leave something amazing like heroin or meth behind (euphorant abuse is very unforgivably hard to give up).

I somehow found a happy balance without heroin or meth.

I basically don't hang out w/ people who use that. It's kind of a lonely life because I'm not totally off drugs (I like psychedelics, weed/dabs etc) so who am I to judge, but there's a sort-of in-between world of very few friends I can hang out with. Yeah it sucks.

You'll quickly learn who your true friends are for not judging you though.

At the very least I'll have the wherewithal to not use IN FRONT OF my friends who are trying to stay clean, etc. and thankfully am not using euphorant drugs. :D
 
this is a problem that has come to me in the past year. I do not like meth. at all. Im a very pro drug kinda guy but I cannot be around methamphetmine and do not believe anyone should ever touch it ever. . I do not trust myself around it, and since every single opiate addict from back in the day is now cranked out of their gourd, I have about zero people I can hang out with. Its all good though, because I know its for my own good.

Its a true mental hurricane. There is nothing I like about meth. I do not like amphetmines. I do not like not being able to not eat. I do not like not being able to not sleep. Yet I cannot say no. how fucked up is that?! So, I have just stopped talking to a large majority of my friends. Its nothing against them, and wish them the best of buzzes and adventures.
 
Jopeth said:
this is a problem that has come to me in the past year. I do not like meth. at all. Im a very pro drug kinda guy but I cannot be around methamphetmine and do not believe anyone should ever touch it ever. . I do not trust myself around it, and since every single opiate addict from back in the day is now cranked out of their gourd, I have about zero people I can hang out with. Its all good though, because I know its for my own good.

Its a true mental hurricane. There is nothing I like about meth. I do not like amphetmines. I do not like not being able to not eat. I do not like not being able to not sleep. Yet I cannot say no. how fucked up is that?! So, I have just stopped talking to a large majority of my friends. Its nothing against them, and wish them the best of buzzes and adventures.
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Sometimes that's just how it has to be
 
very true indeed. and as time goes on im beginning to realize the importance of building new neural pathways from compounded daily psychological avoidance of addiction. Knowing triggers is big, but relying on others to not do things in front of you wont work. Be proactive in avoiding entire situations that could result in relapse.
 
Soso78 said:
Not a single line. There’s no such thing as a single line for me. I’m convinced that if I do it again even once it will be the start of another habit.
I failed so many detoxes over the years that I don’t think I could do it again.
I moved out my area and cut all ties. Was hard, especially as my dealers started ringin me offering testers and gear on tick to get me back. I was spending a lot with them so they didn’t want to lose me as customer. When I wanted a sub they wouldn’t give it when I quit they was offering it for free lol absolute cunts.
Click to expand...

I quit opiates after 10 years, for 6 years. After a little while I didn't think about them at all really. I was really confident I was past it. Then this past spring my dad was dying and I was visiting and my mom threw out an almost empty bottle of morphine solution and I just grabbed it and took it... I was so anxious and sad and just overall in a terrible place... well long story short, I slid back into it slowly. Not even close to as bad as before but it's scary and it sucks. Trying not to go score some shit today. All it took was one slip. I knew that, and didn't touch it once for so long, but I guess I finally convinced myself I could use it responsibly. I can't.
 
Xorkoth said:
I quit opiates after 10 years, for 6 years. After a little while I didn't think about them at all really. I was really confident I was past it. Then this past spring my dad was dying and I was visiting and my mom threw out an almost empty bottle of morphine solution and I just grabbed it and took it... I was so anxious and sad and just overall in a terrible place... well long story short, I slid back into it slowly. Not even close to as bad as before but it's scary and it sucks. Trying not to go score some shit today. All it took was one slip. I knew that, and didn't touch it once for so long, but I guess I finally convinced myself I could use it responsibly. I can't.
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Sorry about your dad.
6 years is so long to be clean. I’m gutted for u.
U quit once and can do it it again but as u know only works if ur 100% comited
 
Thanks. I did quit again and got through withdrawals over Christmas time, but then started chipping again after I got back home. I'm not using every day but obviously it's not good.
 
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