There does eventually become a time when you know you are completely over it. It takes a while but you'll know when it happens - it's like something finally switches off in your brain.
I stopped taking heroin 10 years ago. About 3 years ago, the opportunity arose to score again. I wasnt really that bothered about it but was curious as to how I'd react. Luckily, I hated it. I found it very dysphoric and annoying.
That's it now. I'll never touch the stuff again and could happily sit there watching someone use in front of me without any interest whatsoever.
For me, right after I did ibogaine, it was like that switch flipped. I was POSITIVE I was 100% over it, and I was for 6 years. Friends could use in front of me, no problem. Then my dad got really sick, a bunch of shit went down, and I had a moment of weakness, and now it's a struggle again. It's likely that if life hadn't become extremely painful and I had totally stayed away from any sort of connection to drugs/drug users, I wouldn't have relapsed. But who knows. Either way, I learned something... I will always have to remain vigilant.
It's not like it was before, where I felt enslaved. It's just that I went years without even craving and now I crave, and have caved a few times, but I haven't gone back to daily use. Mostly I think that's because when I was using daily and massively addicted, I was using opiates to cover up an abusive relationship and my life without opiates was basically hell. Now my life is good, despite some stresses. I love who I am and what I do, so sobriety isn't painful.
Just get it out of your system if you must but recognize there is such thing as healthy sustainable euphoria. Maybe that looks like a job you love, an SO you love, something. Sure it's not the easiest way. Not at all. Takes a lot of work, rewiring of the brain, etc but we all deserve nothing less.
The only sustainable happiness/euphoria is that which is created naturally without drugs, and it is created through what you fill your life with. Other people can contribute a lot, but if you're not happy inside no one else is going to make you happy sustainably, either.
It's a whole lifestyle change. You can't just expect to do what you've always done high, sober.
100% true. Most of us become addicted to drugs in order to self-medicate something, or even if it's not for anything like that, the drugs end up filling some role in our daily lives. When you quit, you have to fill that time with other things. You can't expect to succeed if you don't make changes along with quitting.
