TDS How to avoid abusing my prescriptions?

[Pagey]

Hey,

I realize there's a similar thread around but I've got a slightly different situation so I thought I'd create my own rather than hi-jacking the other.
So I had an accident about 3 years ago where I almost broke my neck and my cervicals got permanently put out of place. Needless to say it's quite painful all the time. I was put on a very low dose of tetrazepam (Myolastan) at first (half a pill a day, so 25mg). I used this prescription as I was supposed to at first but eventually started abusing it quite badly and went up to about 1g a day. My neck eventually got worse and I was put on oxycodone, but there again I had trouble sticking to the allowed dose, so I decided to just quit both when it came to pain management, and just suck it up and deal with the pain without anything.
This had been going okay until the past couple of weeks. I don't know what happened, but it's literally become excruciating. At best it just really hurts, at worst I feel like my whole body's being impaled and I literally cannot move. Yesterday I ended up just spending two hours in bed sobbing because of it. Very thankfully, a friend of mine was able to help me out and give me a bit of morphine and diazepam to get me through the night while I waited to see a doctor today. I've got access to heroin which would have worked but I figure it's really best if I'm careful to differentiate between the drugs I use because I want to, and those I use because I need to.
So anyway, went to the doctor's at lunchtime and I'm being prescribed temazepam and hydrocodone. I want to stress that I did not go there hoping to score drugs purely for recreational purposes. I was sincerely in horrible pain these past few days and just couldn't take it anymore.

The problem is that I don't know if I cn trust myself to be careful with these prescriptions. Hydrocodone I think should be okay as it doesn't do much for me anyway, and in any case I use heroin so I don't really see the point of abusing hydro too. I'm much more worried about the temazepam as I have quite a bad history with benzos, but as I think it's pretty much like tetrazepam when it comes to its muscle relaxant properties, I know it could help me immensely with my neck pain...and I really need that.
I considered giving the pills to someone else for them to hold on to them for me, but I don't want to have to do that, because that would mean explaining why I can't keep them myself --> having to explain I'm a drug addict. And I've just got no one in my life I can say that to, seriously. I just can't.

Does anyone have any ideas as to how I could keep myself from abusing these prescriptions? I figure it's good to keep the line between the temazepam/hydro and the heroin, as in the heroin will continue to be my 'get-high drug' (no judgments on that please...I know it's bad) and the others will be my purely medical drugs, but I don't know if I'll manage to keep it like that.

Any suggestions would be very much appreciated. Sorry for the long post btw.

 

[sickofthisshiz]

I literally can't do it. Which is why l just try to deal with the pain or only use natural remedies. I know if I get a bottle of anything I know can get me high...l will try. So l just don't get scripts unfortunately Btw l am pretty sure in the US temazapam is Restoril which is a sleeping med...so that might be a pretty sedating benzo. Good luck with which ever way you go Pagey.

 

[twotoomany]

Sounds like you have a decent plan: H for fun, hydro and Benzos for pain. I think the real troubles will be with the benzos. If you're using H, hydro's no fun any way. But the temptation will be the benzo/h combo. Wish I had more advice for ya. Just try to stick to your plan!

 

[slortaone]

damn, there isnt one person in your life you could give the pills to and explain that sometimes you are in so much pain that you know ull take more than prescribed (meaning you dont have to explain you're a drug addict?)

how about a weekly pick up from your doctor or something similar? again you dont have to admit to abusing drugs, just that sometimes the pain is so terribly bad that you know ull feel tempted to take a pill or two more and you dont want that.

its alot easier said than done but yes, you are very smart to keep your pain meds/benzos and the heroin VERY seperate, never using them together... most couldnt do it, so please stick to that.

its a tough one Pagey, i wish you all the best, i dont see an easy solution to this one. you need to stay strong.

take care and keep us posted hey.

 

[smokemctoke420]

^ i agree. give your script to a family member. they will understand and be glad that you did it

it will be okay pagey, just talk to a trusted friend or family member about it and let someone dose it out for you if needed

 

[Pagey]

Thanks a lot guys.

I literally can't do it. Which is why l just try to deal with the pain or only use natural remedies. I know if I get a bottle of anything I know can get me high...l will try. So l just don't get scripts unfortunately Btw l am pretty sure in the US temazapam is Restoril which is a sleeping med...so that might be a pretty sedating benzo. Good luck with which ever way you go Pagey.

Yeah, dealing with the pain on my own is what I'd been trying to do for almost a year but it just doesn't cut it anymore, it's literally torture...

Sounds like you have a decent plan: H for fun, hydro and Benzos for pain. I think the real troubles will be with the benzos. If you're using H, hydro's no fun any way. But the temptation will be the benzo/h combo. Wish I had more advice for ya. Just try to stick to your plan!

Yeah that's what I figure as well, I'm not too worried about the hydro. But I'll certainly do my best.

damn, there isnt one person in your life you could give the pills to and explain that sometimes you are in so much pain that you know ull take more than prescribed (meaning you dont have to explain you're a drug addict?)

how about a weekly pick up from your doctor or something similar? again you dont have to admit to abusing drugs, just that sometimes the pain is so terribly bad that you know ull feel tempted to take a pill or two more and you dont want that.

its alot easier said than done but yes, you are very smart to keep your pain meds/benzos and the heroin VERY seperate, never using them together... most couldnt do it, so please stick to that.

its a tough one Pagey, i wish you all the best, i dont see an easy solution to this one. you need to stay strong.

take care and keep us posted hey.

Mmh...that's a good idea. The thing is I moved to a new country fairly recently and although I do have friends, I'm not particularly close to anyone yet, so even just having to tell them about the pain and stuff bothers me...I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting? It's really just because it's got something to do with drugs, even if I lie to them I'd still feel like I'm making myself more vulnerable to people realizing I do 'taboo' drugs for fun
But I'll probably end up doing that, thanks for the suggestion.

^ i agree. give your script to a family member. they will understand and be glad that you did it

it will be okay pagey, just talk to a trusted friend or family member about it and let someone dose it out for you if needed

I'm literally alone in this country, no family members, but I'll try to think of a friend I could trust with this. It just feels like such a delicate situation. I'd been doing so well in regards to my neck, I'm annoyed to have to go down this road again but I literally can't take this pain.

Thank you everyone

 

[slortaone]

i understand your problem completly, but its definatly possible to do and yeah moving to a new country recently will definatly make it hard to find some understanding friends. have you thought anymore on my or anyone elses ideas? how is it all going Pagey?

 

[mrflowers00]

you could always have someone you trust hold on to your medication and dull it out to you as needed

 

[Pagey]

i understand your problem completly, but its definatly possible to do and yeah moving to a new country recently will definatly make it hard to find some understanding friends. have you thought anymore on my or anyone elses ideas? how is it all going Pagey?

Ugh it's going pretty bad, I'm really ashamed of myself tbh...you gave some really good advice as did everyone else and I was really motivated to do this right but then I just kinda snapped. Last sunday I got a call from my brother telling me my mom tried to kill herself again and a lot of other stuff piled up this week and I've just been doing every single drug I can find. I mean as if being on a 4-day heroin binge wasn't enough I was also on benzos and coke half the time as well. I just feel like a failure yknow?
Anyway I didn't do any drugs today and I'm really gonna try to fix this. I think I'll go with your idea of a weekly pick-up from the doctor's, it sounds good.

Thanks

 

[SkagKush]

Hey Pagey,

I'm sorry to hear your plan has not gone to smoothly for you. While in the grips of addiction it can be very hard to control your substance intake, and I think its probably best if you to reach out for help. The suggestion of a weekly med pick up and having a friend hold your meds sounds like a great idea. I know you said that you really dont want to have to ask for help, or tell anyone whats going on. However, I think in this situation it comes down to whats more important to you. Being able to effectively control your intake and regulate your pain, or keeping a lid on someone knowing.

Keep in mind once your off the heroin the hydro will work much more effectively.

 

[bagochina]

Weekly pickup from the doctor might flag you as being someone that is untrustworthy and might restrict future medications needed for pain. Although it seems like the doctor has you on low doses/on the way out of some of the weaker possibilities already. Doesn't blowing heroin a couple times a week just inflate the hydro dose to a point that its just not worth it?

Never liked temazepam, never put me to sleep like it is usually scripted for. Have you ever thought of going a more natural route for controlling your pain such as acupuncture, massage, Phys therapy, chiropractor, etc. If you have addiction issues maybe talk to your doctor about non narcotic pain meds and something obviously non benzo. Toradol nasal spray?

In the mean time, while you wait to figure out if using meds that are obviously not helping is good thing or bad thing, maybe go talk to the school nurse and entrust her with your meds. Probably would be a lot more convenient. I would avoid giving the meds to friends because next thing you know you will be making a post about how everybody is calling you a drug addict behind your back.

 

[SkagKush]

^ really great advice!

 

[Pagey]

Thanks bagochina. Yeah, the doctor getting suspicious is the one thing that's held me back from doing it already. It's not that I want to have the option of tricking doctors into prescribing me stuff if ever I can't afford drugs anymore or whatever, but as I said in the OP it really is legit pain. I told him I'd been on oxy before and he said he wasn't comfortable putting me on that without knowing more about the problem (I've moved to a new country so new doctor, which is also complicating things). I'm going in for a cervical scan (MRI) next week though to try and figure out why it's suddenly gotten worse so I guess we'll see if that changes their treatment choices.
But yeah, the hydro's pretty pointless really - it's just that I feel like maybe I should use it regardless just so it's perfectly clear in my mind that I'm not using the heroin for pain? I dunno, maybe it's just a waste...

The temazepam's actually been fantastic so far since it's a really good muscle relaxant. It helps a lot. I feel like I've tried absolutely everything when it comes to dealnig with the pain without meds - I've been doing physiotherapy/chiropracty for almost 3 years, have tried acupuncture etc. The problem is, since it's my neck it's an extremely delicate area to work with and they can't force much because they would risk paralyzing me. I went in for new X-rays recently and the cervicals are still just as twisted as they were 3 years ago, despite all the sessions
You're right, maybe I should talk to my doctor about non-benzo/non-narcotic meds. It would probably be the smart thing to do, it's just the benzos help with the pain so much...ugh. But you're right, I should.

School nurse sounds like a good idea. And yeah my friends are definitely out of the question, don't wanna take that risk.

Thanks a lot for the advice.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I'm sorry to hear about how much pain you're experiencing Pagey.

Temazepam is an amazing sleep aid, and doesn't interrupt REM sleep so you get good sleep on it, which allows you to wake up refreshed.

If you have any friends/family who can dole out your medicine on a daily or as-needed basis, it would help so that you don't run out early. I know not everyone has this option especially if you are living by yourself, but I figured I'd suggest it.

 

[Pariahprose]

It is a great idea to seperate the things you want vs. the things you need,however what happens when the things you want are not available and you only have the things you need to keep off the agony of opiate wd? More than likely you will start using the meds that you actually need,run out of them,and be twice as bad off as you were. I honestly say if you are that bad off, give up what you want because it is not worth jepordizing what you need. Easier said than done though.

Also, for the Temezapam, have you considered phenibut,piracetam,GABA, or other Gaba acting drugs on ocassion to maybe make sure you stretch your Temezapam as far as possible? Kratom might work for the hydros as well because IMO it can be every bit as strong as hydros if not stronger at times. Maybe work out a schedule with these things substituted in for your regular medicine?

Know that you are definatly not alone in the general concept behind the plight you are facing. I am prescribed amphetamine and was a meth addict for several years.I am currently trying to figure out what I am going to do next month as well to make my medicine stretch,maybe some DMAA,caffeine, and vitamins.

Pariahprose

 

[phatass]

if you have a room mate or living with parents you could give them the meds and just take what you need for one day, otherwise you cold get a pillbox which would require more self discipline than the former suggestion

 

[Artificial Emotion]

Have you tried a TENS machine? What about cannabis salve?

Reading your posts it sounds like if you have a supply of painkillers you're inevitably going to abuse them because you just have that personality type. I'm the same unfortunately.

 

[Pagey]

I did actually mention TENS machines to my doctor as I'd been looking into them and he said it wouldn't be appropriate considering the source of the pain.
Isn't cannabis salve effective for arthritis and the like? I haven't tried it but it really doesn't sound like it would work for this, I dunno. Maybe I should try it but I'm very skeptical... It's just I've been through what feels like dozens of treatments these past 3 years and none of them worked until I started using muscle relaxants and narcotic painkillers. It just gets so frustrating after a while when you do find something that finally relieves the pain and you know you shouldn't be using it.

Maybe I wasn't clear enough about where the pain comes from - basically because the cervicals have been damaged, it's more of an effort to keep my head up so the muscles in my neck, shoulders and upper back are working much harder which creates constant (literally) tension headaches and this weird reverberating feeling down my arms and back...it's hard to describe. The muscle relaxing benzos take care of that entirely. That pain's manageable anyway, I could do without meds for it, but the main problem is that nerves get trapped between the cervicals and I just honestly cannot come close to describing how excruciating that is. When I said in the OP I felt like my body was being impaled, I wasn't exaggerating. It used to be this would only happen maybe once or twice a day for a couple minutes at a time so it was all right, but these past couple of weeks it's been for hours and hours at a time and I physically can't handle it.
I hope that clears up some of the confusion regarding the fact that no 'natural' or 'softer' treatments have been helpful with this.

 

[phactor]

Pagey, please watch the dope. I never really used it much, but god knows I used basically every other opiate. Something about the ease of access of dope made me very weary about it. The fact that it was everywhere, 24/7 (bonus: you could often get coke with it) shot up red flags for me. I never really persuaded it because of this, and am glad that I didn't. I don't know where you are, but most of the people that use dope around me are almost as addicted to the whole lifestyle as they are the drug itself. Its a whole new ballgame in many ways.

I am not judging at all, really OC isn't all that different from dope. And I also have used Fent patches and shit like that.

Also, I have to disagree with Pariah on the phenibut (respectfully of course) as this would have you agonizing both your GABA A and B receptors. I drank and used phenibut for 2 or 3 months and had a terrible fucking withdrawal. And of course, the phenibut had me drinking less and it was still pretty brutal.

And, I say this out of care for a fellow sufferer, but your best hope is likely to be coming cleaning, getting medically detoxed and receiving some kind of treatment. I will be honest with you, you are playing with life and death shit. Alcohol and Benzos can cause seizures during W/D.

 

[Artificial Emotion]

I did actually mention TENS machines to my doctor as I'd been looking into them and he said it wouldn't be appropriate considering the source of the pain.
Isn't cannabis salve effective for arthritis and the like?

It works for athritis, particularly in the fingers, but it's good for all sorts of pain. I would try vaporizing a load of different strains too though, you don't just have to use it topically.

As far as non opiate and non-benzo alternatives, the only other drug you're probably safe using is weed. Plus it might just satiate your desire to get high, too.

I really don't think you're going to get very far trying convincing yourself you'll be able to find a way to not abuse your meds if you have them because if you're anything like me, it'll just be an exercise in futility. I know it's hard being in pain but it's not like there's nothing you can do beyond taking narcotics or benzos and you never know, one day you might look back on your life and think I wish I just sucked up the pain and dealt with it because it would have been better than a life long addiction to opiates. You say you want to keep the heroin separate from the oxycontin but if you're going to start abusing your meds I would bet money eventually you'll have a change of heart and make the jump. It happens all the time.