LoveAlways
Bluelighter
From: http://www.windycitymediagroup.com/searchgaybars.html
I dont know if you are in Madison or Milwaukee right now, but if you pick one in Milwauke, a day and a time, I will be there.
....and lesbians! Lots of lesbians
-
-
SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
How should a girl go about hitting on a guy?
- Thread starter kittyinthedark
- Start date
From: http://www.windycitymediagroup.com/searchgaybars.html
I dont know if you are in Madison or Milwaukee right now, but if you pick one in Milwauke, a day and a time, I will be there.
kittyinthedark
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2004
- Messages
- 10,887
A lot of those are a hell of a hike for me. Also, A Room of One's Own is a feminist bookstore, not a club, LOL!
And the best gay club in the metro Milwaukee area isn't even listed there!!! La Cage! It's the shit!
And the best gay club in the metro Milwaukee area isn't even listed there!!! La Cage! It's the shit!
exarkann
Bluelighter
kitty, i think that every third post i make is an invite to move down here and be me and my so's serious girlfriend (we are looking)...
short of that, have you concidered that your awesome combo of brains and beauty just arnt a desirable set of traits where you live? rednecks and idiots just dont appreciate goddesses...
so its probable that the issue isnt you, but your surroundings...
oh ya, i may more or less be straight, but i love going to the gay bar... best tunes and drinks in town
short of that, have you concidered that your awesome combo of brains and beauty just arnt a desirable set of traits where you live? rednecks and idiots just dont appreciate goddesses...
so its probable that the issue isnt you, but your surroundings...
oh ya, i may more or less be straight, but i love going to the gay bar... best tunes and drinks in town
Last edited:
Pharaoh Sphinx
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 23, 2006
- Messages
- 364
Fight Club said:
dude that aint true
I dig insecurity in my woman, wutchyu talkin bout willis
Flowingbeyond
Bluelighter
Well kitty. I think youre blessed tobe honest. You have gorgeous skin, beautiful eyes. hands and just something I can feel. Ive seen your pictures. experienced youre intelligble posts. I think you deserve a good man, who can spoil you etc. and fill your dreams with what you love. so continue trying because there are men out there who can get it up, and show you a nice time in the evening.
My suiggesiton to you, is if you want to attract a man, like myself. Or any man, (im a man so I know) hehe - just show them that youre interested... being too nice makes them think they can walkl away and being too sultry makes them think youc an use them... So My mix is this. Get down on them, and just be that cutey you really are. And be creative, you like yourself, just be it. dont forget to show what u mean....
I hope I got thru to you. somehow...
youre hot...
My suiggesiton to you, is if you want to attract a man, like myself. Or any man, (im a man so I know) hehe - just show them that youre interested... being too nice makes them think they can walkl away and being too sultry makes them think youc an use them... So My mix is this. Get down on them, and just be that cutey you really are. And be creative, you like yourself, just be it. dont forget to show what u mean....
I hope I got thru to you. somehow...
youre hot...
L O V E L I F E
Bluelighter
At the risk of offending almost everybody, if you (the Universal "You") live in North America, and you have an IQ of at least 130, and you like to party, but you also like to read and converse and think and learn, then you're going to DRASTICALLY increase your odds of landing a partner YOU deem compatible if you live in a major city.
I'm not talking about a place that has a professional sports team or a college nearby.
I'm talking about New York, San Francisco, Montreal, Toronto, San Diego, Boston, Chicago, Seattle or Miami (and throw in Los Angeles and D.C. if image is more important to you than substance) and that's the end of the list.
There are enough other good reasons to make sacrifices in order to eventually live in one of the aforementioned cities to fill all of Wisconsin . . .
. . . but DRASTICALLY increasing your odds of consistently finding partners (romantic, sexual, platonic, whatever) whom YOU will deem compatible should be reason enough.
In.
My.
Opinion.
I'm not talking about a place that has a professional sports team or a college nearby.
I'm talking about New York, San Francisco, Montreal, Toronto, San Diego, Boston, Chicago, Seattle or Miami (and throw in Los Angeles and D.C. if image is more important to you than substance) and that's the end of the list.
There are enough other good reasons to make sacrifices in order to eventually live in one of the aforementioned cities to fill all of Wisconsin . . .
. . . but DRASTICALLY increasing your odds of consistently finding partners (romantic, sexual, platonic, whatever) whom YOU will deem compatible should be reason enough.
In.
My.
Opinion.
sickpuppy
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2000
- Messages
- 5,306
I would've never guessed! hmmm. It's hard to say without knowing you. Maybe your a spaz for all I know. j/k
But,if your anything like i percieve you online to be,maybe your a little intimidating to guys. I think you might intimidate me. Your very open with your sexuality.Not that this is a bad thing,but it could be a little off-putting to what one would consider a "good guy". I think of myself to be a good guy.I know I act and say things on here like i'm some super stud sex machine,but i'm actualy quiet shy and I like to get to know a girl before i sleep with her.Unless i'm drunk,which I hardly ever am anymore)Also you seem maybe like you might be too much of a guy's girl.What I mean is you seem like you's be very,very cool to hang out with.I mean you have a similar sense of humor as me(like the IWS joke where I say I win and then you came on and said No! and SEE! SEE!) that's cute to me and funny,but most guys are initially going for girly-girls. You know what I mean? I wish I could explain it better. Anyway your a gorgeous girl and very mature for your age.(most of the time). and stop making me feel like 30 is old. Maybe that's what you need? A guy that's a little more mature?
But,if your anything like i percieve you online to be,maybe your a little intimidating to guys. I think you might intimidate me. Your very open with your sexuality.Not that this is a bad thing,but it could be a little off-putting to what one would consider a "good guy". I think of myself to be a good guy.I know I act and say things on here like i'm some super stud sex machine,but i'm actualy quiet shy and I like to get to know a girl before i sleep with her.Unless i'm drunk,which I hardly ever am anymore)Also you seem maybe like you might be too much of a guy's girl.What I mean is you seem like you's be very,very cool to hang out with.I mean you have a similar sense of humor as me(like the IWS joke where I say I win and then you came on and said No! and SEE! SEE!) that's cute to me and funny,but most guys are initially going for girly-girls. You know what I mean? I wish I could explain it better. Anyway your a gorgeous girl and very mature for your age.(most of the time). and stop making me feel like 30 is old. Maybe that's what you need? A guy that's a little more mature?
fairnymph
Ex-Bluelighter
This is very true....*loves LL*
To answer the OP:
Just walk up to a guy you like and say: 'take me home'
.. naah changed my mind... maybee a bit TOO eager
say "howdy handsome" and go from there
EDIT: oh oh.. and be YOURSELF. There is someone out there for EVERY one - right NOW.
Just walk up to a guy you like and say: 'take me home'
.. naah changed my mind... maybee a bit TOO eager
say "howdy handsome" and go from there
EDIT: oh oh.. and be YOURSELF. There is someone out there for EVERY one - right NOW.
Last edited:
wizekrak said:
this honestly is the best advice yet, at least in my opinion. a girl who can keep up with me on the dance floor, while being impressive and flirtatious, drives me instantly to her. I don't know how you are with dancing and I dunno if you seem the dancing type, but the dance floor at clubs has to be the easiest spot to pick up a quick fling.
kittyinthedark
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2004
- Messages
- 10,887
That's what I always used to do. It never worked. Guys always came up to my girlfriends, and then I got ditched. I guess that's why I stopped hanging out with chicks with big tits. I love dancing, and you can ask anyone who's seen me, I'm the best dancer of any white chick you'll ever see at a club. All I ever want to do when I go out is dance. But usually the skeeziest guy in the club will come up to me and fuck up my game and won't leave me alone the rest of the goddamn night... Pretty much when I go out dancing that's just for my personal shits and giggles and not for meeting guys.
wizekrak
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2000
- Messages
- 4,250
Kitty you seem almost exactly like a friend of mine personality wise, she's an organic chem major who likes to party hard. Some guys find her intimidating but she can shake her ass with the best of them. Anyway, her solution was to hit on a TA at college, they've been going out for a year or so.
I've only been to Wisconsin once, it's the land of Duck boats and Go-carts. They have a great waterpark out there in Madison or some town nearby. As far as looks go (and I'm not trying to be a prick or anything) but compared to the club dwellers out here you'd be in the 70-75% percentile based on looks alone. If you go out with better looking women expect them to get hit on first, beauty is relative. I run into the same problems when I go out with my model friends. I'm not an ugly man, but I'm no GQ model.
All I can suggest is expand your circle of friends and hang out with their friends. Working your network is the best way to meet people. Additionally quality people tend to have quality friends (like attracts like) and good looking guys tend to have good looking guy friends. It isn't only women who travel in packs of relative attractiveness. Do you have a campus bar? It's a great place to meet people, although I assume you're back home for the summer. Maybe you need to move to a happening town. Do not move to Toronto, it's our cess pool.
I've only been to Wisconsin once, it's the land of Duck boats and Go-carts. They have a great waterpark out there in Madison or some town nearby. As far as looks go (and I'm not trying to be a prick or anything) but compared to the club dwellers out here you'd be in the 70-75% percentile based on looks alone. If you go out with better looking women expect them to get hit on first, beauty is relative. I run into the same problems when I go out with my model friends. I'm not an ugly man, but I'm no GQ model.
All I can suggest is expand your circle of friends and hang out with their friends. Working your network is the best way to meet people. Additionally quality people tend to have quality friends (like attracts like) and good looking guys tend to have good looking guy friends. It isn't only women who travel in packs of relative attractiveness. Do you have a campus bar? It's a great place to meet people, although I assume you're back home for the summer. Maybe you need to move to a happening town. Do not move to Toronto, it's our cess pool.
kittyinthedark
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2004
- Messages
- 10,887
I live in the biggest city in Wisconsin, Milwaukee. The only city that's any bigger within quite a large radius is Chicago. I'd go down there more often, but I generally don't like to top my nights off with an hour and a half drive...
emotionisdead67
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2004
- Messages
- 326
Perhaps your personality isn't bad but intimidating. I've recently found out that, thats how I come across with some people that I randomly meet and continue to talk to afterwards. I was just told the other night that I came across as being intimidating becuase of the way I spole and carried myself and what I had to say about certain topics. Due to the intellegence of the topic and the way I percieved and viewd things. I'm small and friendly so I was shocked to hear this when the person told me hah.
Maybe thats why?
Maybe thats why?
wizekrak
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2000
- Messages
- 4,250
How we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us are seldom the same.
Here's a tip. Go out to the bar with a close female friend. Act however you typically act at the bar while your friend hangs back and observes the situation. At the end of the night ask her how she think you did and where you can improve. Harsh criticism from a close friend is always easier to take.
Did you have the same problems when you were away at college? I know the kids who work hardest are usually the kids who party the hardest as well. I worked like a dog last term but you'd find my in the campus bar every rez night (and I don't live on campus). Do you let it be known during your conversations that you're single? Or do you subconsciously exude "boyfriend"?
Here's a tip. Go out to the bar with a close female friend. Act however you typically act at the bar while your friend hangs back and observes the situation. At the end of the night ask her how she think you did and where you can improve. Harsh criticism from a close friend is always easier to take.
Did you have the same problems when you were away at college? I know the kids who work hardest are usually the kids who party the hardest as well. I worked like a dog last term but you'd find my in the campus bar every rez night (and I don't live on campus). Do you let it be known during your conversations that you're single? Or do you subconsciously exude "boyfriend"?
kittyinthedark
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2004
- Messages
- 10,887
Heh, been there, done that. No one I know that I've ever asked has been able to tell me anything except that maybe I'm "too smart" or come off as too strong and that scares guys off (because apparently all women are supposed to be dumb, submissive, and passive all the time). I deliberately try to "dumb myself down" a lot to try to compensate for that, but it's kind of a catch-22 - when I'm trying so hard to choose my words and topics correctly, it always makes me feel awkward. It's not like I go out of my way to discuss "intellectual" topics, I mean, you should hear the shit that usually goes on when my roomie and I go to the coffee shop - it's raunchy and hilarious and totally fun and goofy - but if I'm not watching myself I always tend to drift that direction. Most of the people I talk to on any regular basis are very intelligent and aren't afraid to discuss politics, religion, economics, whatever, so it's kind of hard for me to shift modes sometimes. I'm a very assertive girl, and for fuck's sake, that's what everyone tells me to be, but then when I ask people for advice they're like, don't be too assertive. It's one or the other folks... Either I should be assertive with guys or I shouldn't. I'm pretty much blunt without flat out saying stuff like "take me home and fuck me because I'm a kinky slut." I'm a very honest and up-front person, and if that's my problem, I guess too bad for me cuz I'm not going to change that for anyone.
I guess my main concern is how contradictory everyone is on the subject. When I ask people what personality traits I should try to work towards they always say to be honest, straight-forward, assertive, confident, yadda yadda yadda, but then when I ask how I should try to go about meeting people they say not to do anything that could be perceived as too independent or strong-willed. It's like women are supposed to be these amazing, self-reliant, hard-driving, kick-ass beings when they're on their own time, but the second they meet a guy they're supposed to tame and temper everything about themselves. I think it's all a load of fucking hogwash and it's totally disgusting, but at this point I guess I'm willing to sacrifice the core of my beliefs for a little comfort if that's what it takes. I want a guy that will challenge me and dish back all the shit that I can give him, but I guess those don't exist around here...
As for subconsciously doing anything, I wouldn't know, now would I? As far as I can tell, as and far as anyone I have ever asked is concerned, they all think I'm a funny, friendly, honest chick who's just looking to have a good time and make some friends and hopefully pick up a boy toy along the way, but at this point I'm clearly doing something wrong, because anyone with the attitude that I and everyone I know is convinced I have should be swimming in dates.
I guess my main concern is how contradictory everyone is on the subject. When I ask people what personality traits I should try to work towards they always say to be honest, straight-forward, assertive, confident, yadda yadda yadda, but then when I ask how I should try to go about meeting people they say not to do anything that could be perceived as too independent or strong-willed. It's like women are supposed to be these amazing, self-reliant, hard-driving, kick-ass beings when they're on their own time, but the second they meet a guy they're supposed to tame and temper everything about themselves. I think it's all a load of fucking hogwash and it's totally disgusting, but at this point I guess I'm willing to sacrifice the core of my beliefs for a little comfort if that's what it takes. I want a guy that will challenge me and dish back all the shit that I can give him, but I guess those don't exist around here...
As for subconsciously doing anything, I wouldn't know, now would I?
As far as I can tell, as and far as anyone I have ever asked is concerned, they all think I'm a funny, friendly, honest chick who's just looking to have a good time and make some friends and hopefully pick up a boy toy along the way, but at this point I'm clearly doing something wrong, because anyone with the attitude that I and everyone I know is convinced I have should be swimming in dates.
zephyr
Ex-Bluelighter
^ When you figure out how to do it Kitty, let me know as I dont have a clue. I dont think there is a foolproof pick up method that works with everyone. 
But Ill tell you about my last "semi" pick up.
I picked this guy up purely by accident, it wasnt designed at all. That fact is, the guy and his friends were sitting at a table that had free seats in a crowded pub. Being a bit drunk, my 2 friends and I barged in and forced ourselves onto his table and struck up the stupidest, most inane conversation about how the hell to get out of work the next morning without looking suspicious.
Light hearted banter followed, hilarity, an exchange of phone numbers. I could have picked him up but I was one of those culprits who gave a faker as I really wasnt all that interested in seeing him again. Im not looking to pick up anyone right now, it was just a fun night with some dude I didnt know and didnt really want to get to know beyond the pub.
You cant tell what a person is like until you get to know them, so seriously, just be yourself, talk to them as if you would anyone, not necessarily with "OMG I must pick you up right now or Im a failure" in mind. Who cares if you dont pick him up? He might be a complete loser for all you know. You dont want to waste time on some moron who isnt on your intellectual level do you?
Im sure you'll find a nice, interesting guy soon enough- they are rare but still around so I hear. Theres a couple in Alaska so Im told.
But Ill tell you about my last "semi" pick up.I picked this guy up purely by accident, it wasnt designed at all. That fact is, the guy and his friends were sitting at a table that had free seats in a crowded pub. Being a bit drunk, my 2 friends and I barged in and forced ourselves onto his table and struck up the stupidest, most inane conversation about how the hell to get out of work the next morning without looking suspicious.
Light hearted banter followed, hilarity, an exchange of phone numbers. I could have picked him up but I was one of those culprits who gave a faker as I really wasnt all that interested in seeing him again. Im not looking to pick up anyone right now, it was just a fun night with some dude I didnt know and didnt really want to get to know beyond the pub.
You cant tell what a person is like until you get to know them, so seriously, just be yourself, talk to them as if you would anyone, not necessarily with "OMG I must pick you up right now or Im a failure" in mind. Who cares if you dont pick him up? He might be a complete loser for all you know. You dont want to waste time on some moron who isnt on your intellectual level do you?
Im sure you'll find a nice, interesting guy soon enough- they are rare but still around so I hear. Theres a couple in Alaska so Im told.
wizekrak
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2000
- Messages
- 4,250
Allow me to shed a little more light on the subject:
From my experience weak men prefer weak women. It allows them to control the situation and basically wear the pants so to speak. Strong men (in all senses of the word) prefer strong women. I smart confident and genuine man will for the most part be turned off by a flakey, shallow, and weak willed woman. Show that same man an assertive, confident and genuine woman and they most likely will click.
The problem with being at the leading edge of the curve in most aspects is that it truly narrows your prosects for finding an equal. Honestly if some girl came up to me at the bar, chugged a beer (Warsteiner, Heinekin, Guiness), grinded on my thigh and proceeded to discuss existential philosophy and world politics I'd be floored, time to find the nearest exit and fuck her brains out. I'm going through a similar phase and yes it does blow.
Honestly don't try and dumb yourself down, most guys can tell when a girl is putting on an act, and it's a total turn off. If a guy doesn't think you're secure enough to be yourself he'll wonder what's wrong with you that you need to hide behind some false persona.
Another point to take into consideration: It's a fine line between assertiveness and bitchiness. Do you come off as your own woman, or do you appear domineering and possessive/controlling? Those two will scare off most men.
As much as I hate it, dating is very much a numbers game. The trick is not to burn out on duds before you find someone you want. Maybe the men in Wisconsin just have their heads up their asses, who knows? Maybe you're only attracted to the men who look for a submissive partner? Keep plugging away and you're bound to find a decent guy. The only problem is the best people (male or female) are usually taken, so there's a large amount of luck involved as well. Maybe all the top tier men in your age bracket have already been snagged?
From my experience weak men prefer weak women. It allows them to control the situation and basically wear the pants so to speak. Strong men (in all senses of the word) prefer strong women. I smart confident and genuine man will for the most part be turned off by a flakey, shallow, and weak willed woman. Show that same man an assertive, confident and genuine woman and they most likely will click.
The problem with being at the leading edge of the curve in most aspects is that it truly narrows your prosects for finding an equal. Honestly if some girl came up to me at the bar, chugged a beer (Warsteiner, Heinekin, Guiness), grinded on my thigh and proceeded to discuss existential philosophy and world politics I'd be floored, time to find the nearest exit and fuck her brains out. I'm going through a similar phase and yes it does blow.
Honestly don't try and dumb yourself down, most guys can tell when a girl is putting on an act, and it's a total turn off. If a guy doesn't think you're secure enough to be yourself he'll wonder what's wrong with you that you need to hide behind some false persona.
Another point to take into consideration: It's a fine line between assertiveness and bitchiness. Do you come off as your own woman, or do you appear domineering and possessive/controlling? Those two will scare off most men.
As much as I hate it, dating is very much a numbers game. The trick is not to burn out on duds before you find someone you want. Maybe the men in Wisconsin just have their heads up their asses, who knows? Maybe you're only attracted to the men who look for a submissive partner? Keep plugging away and you're bound to find a decent guy. The only problem is the best people (male or female) are usually taken, so there's a large amount of luck involved as well. Maybe all the top tier men in your age bracket have already been snagged?
Beatlebot
Bluelight Crew
wizekrak said:
Allow me, in all good humour and respect, to disagree with what you have posted above.
I've seen strong, intelligent, genuine men go all gooey and doe-eyed over a bimbo with large breasts and long legs, while completely ignoring intelligent women in the same room. Who are still attractive even though they don't have the same proportions as the bimbo.
I've seen it heaps of times.
I think the first step is figuring out what you really want from a 'pick-up'. Just one night of fun, or something more? When you really know what you wat, it's easier to find it.