• LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

How long till you can crap in someones house?

some people keep air fresher or bleach beside/near the toilet, have a look for it
 
Just do it and make a joke of it after. The toilets there to be crapped in after all.
 
Housie and I share a bathroom, and we just light incense. It isn't a big deal. I do my best not to crap in bathrooms other than my own. That said, when nature calls, sometimes an answer is required. I squat or put on a liner so I don't crap in my car. I don't sit on public toilets EVER.

The coffee method does work for most people who have an hour to spare.

*edit* I also try to go before my shower for hygienic reasons, and I keep adult baby wipes around for other times.
 
Its an issue when the persons house your going over to isnt that big, say 1000squareft. I guess I am a little neurotic when it comes to etiquette's like this.
lol when i first read this i thought you were talking about the guy not being that big..until i got to the sq. footage part.

no but seriously if it is another swingging d**k who gives a damn. i could care less .

rather hurt someones feelings with my stank than sht my drawers.
god that reminds me of a trip i madeout to modesto ,cali after me and my wife seperated.


i went out there to get my son and bring him back east. but while i was thete i hit the bars and met a really nice girl. we go back to her place and she cooks me a nice dinner and then it hits me.. all that cheap mexican food.

my stomache was rumbbling bout to explode.. so anyways i go into the bathjroom set down on the shttr and guess wht..no toilet paper in sight.

i get up and go back into the living room stamache killing me. well i guess she figures it out says u wanna ride to the store with me i said hell yea.

when we get to the convenient store she heads for the toilet paper aisle and i head for the shtter. that was the most uncomfortable embarrasing situation .

but nah if its a dude why are you freeting so?
 
^ Wait, what? Put in a liner? I'm confused.

Im guessing its some kind of female diaper??


On the subject of crapping in a girl house u want to bugger, all bets are off. You just cant do it. I remember this one time I was chillin at the parents house for the first time of a chick I was seeing. Needless to say I felt more helpless then a rich mans child!
 
If you have that much trouble with your bathroom habits, go for the courtesy flush.

Something I've never bothered with but a friend told me he always does it at peoples places.

Use the 1/2 flush immediately after you've done your business to get rid of the worst of it.

The flush as normal once you've finished.

I've never seen this as an issue though, and can only reiterate Alisdairs sentiments.

Being a bigger guy, I would never risk a 1/2 flush at someone else's house. That's just asking for a clog.

You haven't known embarrassment until you've clogged up someone's toilet you don't know very well, and they don't keep a plunger in the bathroom.
 
Sorry for the confusion, AR and Droppers. I meant a hygienic liner on the toilet seat.

Charmin Toilet Seat Covers

I only sit down on toilets when they are mine or close family/friends. I definitely wasn't referring to "that time of the month" - it's my aversion to (not saying this to be rude) placing my bare ass where other bare asses have been. That freaks me out more than worrying about stinking up someone's bathroom. ;)
 
el oh fucking el at this thread. :D OP, did everything work out?

regardless of how long i'd known them, as long as a guest left the bathroom in the order they found it and did their best to be polite about it (turning on the fan, opening a window, spraying Lysol, courtesy flush, etc), it wouldn't bother me if they look a poo at my house.... oh, and as long as it wasn't the lone reason they came to visit, either. :p i guess if it embarrassed you that much, make sure you know where the nearest available restroom is located that you would feel comfortable doing your business and do your best to make an abrupt exit.

Im guessing its some kind of female diaper??

female diaper!?!? lol!!! a sanitary pad is NOT a diaper! you boys. :D a sanitary pad also doesn't have the absorbency or coverage that a Depends or Huggies might and since she said "liner" i'm thinking "panty liner"?? which would be utterly useless in the event you soiled yourself.

EDIT: thanks for clearing it up Mari! <3
 
Who knew there were so many subtle layers of social etiquette when crimping a length!?! Some people sure do have some fairly esoteric ideas about the appropriateness of it all.

My perspective is that I think it's unreasonable to expect people to meticulously plan their bowel movements around other people's eccentric approaches to hygiene or their Victorian neuroses, so I'd expect them to return the favour.

I'd much rather a visitor take a relaxing dump in my bathroom, rather than sitting on my sofa, grimacing while on the verge of a turd bursting out of them like John Hurt in Alien, because they fear some sort of puritanical judgement about how or when they chose to drop the chocolate log.
...regardless of how long i'd known them... it wouldn't bother me if they look a poo at my house.... oh, and as long as it wasn't the lone reason they came to visit, either.
How would that conversation go, exactly?

***DING DONG!***

Yes?

Hi. Make way, I need a crap.


:D
 
Sorry for the confusion, AR and Droppers. I meant a hygienic liner on the toilet seat.

Charmin Toilet Seat Covers

I only sit down on toilets when they are mine or close family/friends. I definitely wasn't referring to "that time of the month" - it's my aversion to (not saying this to be rude) placing my bare ass where other bare asses have been. That freaks me out more than worrying about stinking up someone's bathroom. ;)

Haha I see. It didn't sound like you to resort to diapers. ;)
 
Housie and I share a bathroom, and we just light incense. It isn't a big deal. I do my best not to crap in bathrooms other than my own. That said, when nature calls, sometimes an answer is required. I squat or put on a liner so I don't crap in my car. I don't sit on public toilets EVER.

The coffee method does work for most people who have an hour to spare.

*edit* I also try to go before my shower for hygienic reasons, and I keep adult baby wipes around for other times.
What's the coffee method?

I agree with you on never sitting on public toilets. They are beyond gross. The only options are to hover or to hold it in.

Oh yeah, I recently got in trouble for dropping a bomb in someone's bathroom. But they were good humored about it. A few weeks later, they bought me this:
214-b6VchuL._SL500_AA300_.jpg
 
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