How long till you can crap in someones house?

[Fawkes]

How would that conversation go, exactly?

something like this:

***DING DONG!***

hi! i was in the neighborhood and thought i'd drop by for a visit. direct me to your facilities, please!

i was thinking along the lines of a friend or acquaintance stopping by under the ruse of some legitimate purpose only because i was nearest to them at the time nature called and they were too ashamed to use a public toilet.

no one has actually done this to me, but justsomeguy's experience made me consider that someone could have the audacity to shit and run... and that's just rude.

 

[tambourine-man]

What's the coffee method?

You sprinkle instant coffee granules into the toilet bowl so that the owner can't tell which parts are genuine diarrhoea.

 

[ChickenScratch]

social etiquette when crimping a length

this is going to be the title of my first novel.

that is the most awesomely british string of words i've ever read.

 

[modern buddha]

Here's what you do, OP:

You ask where the bathroom is.
You ask if there are any problems with the toilet.
If questioned why you asked, mention you have to take a dump.
Friend laughs.
Go poop.

 

[ninjadanslarbretabar]

What is the amount of times you have to be over at someones house before its safe to drop a deuce?

the time it takes you to get to the bathroom imo

 

[euphoria]

How would that conversation go, exactly?
***DING DONG!***
Yes?
Hi. Make way, I need a crap.
:D

^ rofl. In a situation such as that, if it were a good friend I wouldnt really care if they were in an emergency and had to drop in just to "drop a load". I've definitely had to do that before if I had to go really bad (1 or 2) and was right next to a friends house. I'd just call them and say "can I come in and use your bathroom real quick?"

I personally won't poop unless I'm at home on my own throne or at my parents or boyfriends house. Emergencies do happen though As long as you don't make a mess I don't see a problem with it. Everybody poops!

 

[ninjadanslarbretabar]

the real question is how long do you have to wait before jerking off in someone house

and how do you bring it up ?

 

[beagleboy]

haha, fucking ninja is a hoot!
How do you find yourself in these situations?
Or are they simulated, like not real just fantasy.

 

[Busty St Clare]

the real question is how long do you have to wait before jerking off in someone house

and how do you bring it up ?

As long as they don't wake up and you can slip in then out of their bedroom quietly then I don't see a problem.


What is the correct etiquette for disposing of their soiled under wear?

 

[eternalDamnation]

true story. my wifes nephew has always shit in his pants, but we all figured he would grow out of it(i thought he was mental) so yrs pass and when he is seventeen he comes down to visit. the next day after they leave we start smelling something foul.. and it dawns on me . we search the room he slept in and lo and behold under the bed,with a broom my wife pulls a soiled pair of xtra large fruit of the looms with a huge load in them . this was no accident he had to work at getting this montrosity out. . that fucker hasnt been inside my house since. he is married now and i joke with my wife how his wife must have gotten a hell-u-va surprise on their honeymoon.

 

[ChickenScratch]

my name is chickenscratch.

i'm 32 years old and i shit my pants on the reg.

 

[Mariposa]

female diaper!?!? lol!!! a sanitary pad is NOT a diaper! you boys. :D a sanitary pad also doesn't have the absorbency or coverage that a Depends or Huggies might and since she said "liner" i'm thinking "panty liner"?? which would be utterly useless in the event you soiled yourself.

EDIT: thanks for clearing it up Mari!

Hehe. The ladies in this thread know that it would be absolutely gross to misconstrue a sanitary pad with something that could soak up even the wettest dump. I don't think anyone here wears Depends/adult diapers. Pads are for periods, not poop. :D

Since I do live with a roommate, I try not to stink up the place too badly. The caffeine reference was as to the fact that caffeine stimulates a lot of people's bowels. It's a relatively gentle way for people to relieve constipation without resorting to meds, or straining to the point of getting a hemorrhoid.

The hygienic liners are for public toilet seats. I am horrified at the idea that people place their bare butts on those things.

I wouldn't mind if a friend called me when she or he was in the neighborhood and did not want to use a public bathroom. I'd understand completely. We bleach our toilet twice per week or thereabouts.

 

[justsomeguy]

Your keyboard at work has more germs than the average public toilet seat. Just saying

 

[Bardeaux]

When you gotta go you gotta go.

Sure, I'd rather not drop a deuce in a stranger's house but what can you do? Once you reach a certain threshold and a deuce is imminent it's not a good idea to try to hold it. The same kind of rationing goes through my mind when it comes to public rest rooms.

 

[tambourine-man]

this is going to be the title of my first novel.

It's got Poolitzer Prize written all over it.

 

[Droppersneck]

Hehe. The ladies in this thread know that it would be absolutely gross to misconstrue a sanitary pad with something that could soak up even the wettest dump. I don't think anyone here wears Depends/adult diapers. Pads are for periods, not poop. :D

Since I do live with a roommate, I try not to stink up the place too badly. The caffeine reference was as to the fact that caffeine stimulates a lot of people's bowels. It's a relatively gentle way for people to relieve constipation without resorting to meds, or straining to the point of getting a hemorrhoid.

The hygienic liners are for public toilet seats. I am horrified at the idea that people place their bare butts on those things.

I wouldn't mind if a friend called me when she or he was in the neighborhood and did not want to use a public bathroom. I'd understand completely. We bleach our toilet twice per week or thereabouts.

LMAO, I think it would be sexy if you did

I NEVER poop in public bathrooms

 

[eternalDamnation]

i'll wrap one around the bottom of a toilet bowl in a hurry . if i gotta go all else is inconsequential.

 

[skillz~4~thrillz]

Everyone shits. just tell the dude your stomach is a little upset and is it ok if you use the bathroom. he will prob say yes-and i agree w/ Simply Live,ask if there are any problems with the bathroom. it's no big deal. maybe it's an age thing. i am in my mid 30s and taking a shit at a strangers house doesn't bother me at all. if you are worried about the sound turn on the faucet.holding it in just makes the risk of you shitting your pants higher.

i never knew so many people had problems with shitting in other peoples' houses or other people shitting in theirs. sure,it is a personal preference that everyone is entitled to,but it is a natural body function. just my opinion.

 

[Droppersneck]

Everyone shits. just tell the dude your stomach is a little upset and is it ok if you use the bathroom. he will prob say yes-and i agree w/ Simply Live,ask if there are any problems with the bathroom. it's no big deal. maybe it's an age thing. i am in my mid 30s and taking a shit at a strangers house doesn't bother me at all. if you are worried about the sound turn on the faucet.holding it in just makes the risk of you shitting your pants higher.

i never knew so many people had problems with shitting in other peoples' houses or other people shitting in theirs. sure,it is a personal preference that everyone is entitled to,but it is a natural body function. just my opinion.

Im sorry but dropping a big shit in somebody you dont knows house is a dick move. It just is imo

 

[aanallein]

Nope, not really. If you know them well enough to be at their place, then you know them well enough to drop off a deuce in their facility. Holding your shit isn't good for you to be honest. You want to keep the bowels moving to encourage a healthy GI rhythm. Interrupting the flow by holding will cause gut issues that can be really serious.