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Detox How long does the buzzy ants in my head last for... tapering Fentayl...

Hey all Guess what I FOUND my bag of missing Easter Bunny candy the day before fathers day hahahaha...

In other news I survived my gum grafting surgery.. The stitches had to stay in 2 weeks.... and the last week was pure hell, the ones in the roof of my mouth was like a barbqbrush every time I moved my tongue it was awful awful awful!!!!!!!!!! I had to do some heavy duty meditation just to keep sane it was awful.. Stitches came out yesterday and now my mouth is sore where I have the cuts and stitches but that should improve over time .... My klonopin taper went out the window and I went back to 2 a day also to keep myself sane the only time it didn't hurt was while I was sleeping so sleep was a welcome relief for me ...

I am thinking of not tapering my fentanyl any more till a couple of months... I seem to be doing good 90 days out now.... on this dose and I want to enjoy my summer as much as I can ... I am going to start tapering my gabapention soon going to go very slow with that taper then try to just use is for a month or so after my next fent drop... it has some really bad effects on the brain I have learned...

I hope everyone is having a enjoyable or at least tolerable summer the heat has finally hit my part of the country and I love it ...
 
Today is the day I have started tapering the gabapention I should of listened and just taken it for a couple weeks instead of a couple of months ughh ... Hopefully it won't be as hard as I read others having issues ...I was able to wean off cymbaltia and nortriptalyne pretty easy doing taper method and read where it was a nightmare for others so ...I am wishing myself luck on that ...

This has been a sad week my brothers baby was stillborn Saturday he was so precious and sweet and I am really sad I will never get to see him grow up ....

I am doing pretty good on this dose of fentanyl still ...and have been experimenting with pot to see if it helps my pain and I really do think it helps I found a kind that is low in THC and higher in CBD I think it make my body feel like bubblegum and I am not stoned out of my head ... I also tried some kind of oil stuff it comes in a syringe it taste horrible and get me really stoned and that high lasts for hours so I do think the bubblegum stuff is what I am going to use for my next weaning drop ...

My mouth still hurts from my gum surgery NEVER EVER AGAIN will I have that done ..and the doctor didn't even do the surgery on the tooth I went in for I didn't know that till I went in last week OMG I am so pissed spent almost $4000.00 and will probably need to have my tooth pulled ..he never even told me he was not doing the painful tooth I went to see him about...I am not the sueing type but this has me really upset my summer has been miserable because of that surgery and my tooth still hurts ...so I am taking tylonal and ibuprofen all day...

and my husband has been drunk almost everyday this past week that he took off from work .... Drunks are annoying as hell he is going through a big box of wine in 1 and a half days ..its in our closet and he goes in there and drinks a glassful like its a shot of whisky but its not a shot glass its a water glass .....but if I say anything he yells about my prescribed pain medication that I am doing all in my power to get off off when I suffer in pain daily ...I am just so over it ...Its funny to watch other people drunk but not when you have to live with them ...there is no reasoning with a drunk at ALL...so I just wait and pray for him to pass out every night while my lips are zipped ....
 
Wow- truly inspiring journal. You carry so much, and have done so amazingly through it all! Thank you for sharing your struggles, triumphs, pain, and strength. I hope you know just how awesome you are! If you can make it through all of the things you made it through while tapering so much, I'm sure I will be fine when my turn comes round.

I hear the 'but you take all that pain med' stuff too. I have real pain, with easily seen problems. So like you, I have a reason to be on 'all those meds'. However, I rarely treat others like crap because of my meds, and when I do, I recognize it and say something. Treating me like crap because you are self medicating after self diagnosis isn't ok! It's frustrating. I assume since you said while on time off of work, there is an end in sight?

How is the gabapentin drop going? Stay strong- you are amazing!
 
Thanks G.R.S.H. I am glad my journal is helping others I am tryng to keep track of how I am feeling while things in my life are happening so I can some day look back and say Jeeze lousie how did I do that LOL slow and steady wins the race in my situation too much and I just crash ..

Boy oh Boy last week took my son to Easter seals camp it was a 12 hour drive all together dropped him off Sunday spent monday tuesday and part of wednesday in bed recovering my back was in knots then Thursday back in the car for the 12 hour trip to pick him up ...Somehow by the grace of God I was not bed bound after picking him up except for 1 day ...

My sleep is off kilter this past week it might just be from spending so much time in bed what ever the case I am trudging along even if I am waking at 3 am ughhh...

I am doing good for the most part though so ready to drop my dose of fentanyl again but I have doctors appointments for me and my son next week then a I am photographing a wedding in the beginning of August so I have to be ok for that its for a very dear friend ...

Then I will be free to do my month of taper hell to a lower dosage of fentanyl I am determined to be off this someday I am so fearful that Fentanyl will be pulled off the shelves and I will have to do a cold turkey and I think even from the dose I am on will leave me in dire straits ... The FDA just pulled Opana off the shelves a week or 2 ago and I read how that is affecting pain patients ...Also many people are being told that their doctors who they have been going to for years say they won't even write a prescription at the appointment and to call a pain management clinic ..I feel like if that happened to me it would probably be months to get into because it takes months to get into any specialty doctor in my area so I would be screwed and probably through withdrals by then anyways ... I have been having to take up to 6 ibuprofen a day some days just to do basic stuff ..and Thats not good for my stomach at all but what can I do ...

I have a ton of kratom waiting for me at the end of this taper , from what I have been reading its best to take it after opioids are out of my system ...I just need a break from life to get my month of withdrawals in... That's what I am most scared of because I am already in pain with my back and if I have to take 6 ibroprofins a day then so be it ....

Sorry that I have not been helpful to others on their own posts yet :-( I am still trying to deal with my own issues ...This really takes time to get right in your own mind and body for sure ...So I am just going with the flow ...
 
^^
You're doing great, Nomas! You're helping people both by working so hard to improve your life (i.e. your family and friends and most of all you will be much better off for it) and by writing on this thread (you're obviously an inspiration to many people on BL). So keep your head down and do what you're doing. You totally have this.

I hope you'll keep us posted when that month off rolls around. Plenty of us will be here to lend you moral support.

<3
 
Thanks simco and i am sure next drop i will be around a lot..today i was having a bad day i bought some drug testing test to check how long pot stays in my system ... the photo is attached ..so i think i am going through withdrawls every 72 hours from my patch the only thing i tested positive for is pot ...i also take klonapins every night at thats was negative too ...i am going to do another test in the morning to see if the fentanyl shows on this test ..i put on my patch this evening .. everything with 2 lines is negative in system ...

I will update tomarrow

ezpf0n.jpg
 
The other drugs i dont take like cocaine or meth those are on that test too
 
Nomasfent said:
The other drugs i dont take like cocaine or meth those are on that test too
Click to expand...

I use those exact tests...and mine look just like yours (though sometimes my rx'ed benzos make come up positive there). Yeah, it's kinda crazy how long thc sticks around.

More importantly, what did you mean when you said yesterday was a bad day?
 
I just accidentally deleted my post grrrr...

Bad day whys maybe..... was on the end of my patch ...didnt take one of my gabapention pills ...paws ...personal stuff i just found out about my brother who died and not knowing how to tell my mom ...i feel like such a failure at life my house is a huge mess i have no energy or desire to clean it dont get me wrong its not show me on a episode of hoarders but its bad enough to make me tired just lookimg at it...

I retested today and same results for the most part and googled and read that klonapins and fentaynl dont show on these kinds of tests thats crazy to me ...

The thc part is correct i moved my quit smoking pot day to today ...
 
I'm so sorry you're feeling that way, my friend. As they say in NA, we'll love you until you love yourself <3

Hang in there, nomas.
 
We'll love your problems to death as well, as Shinzen Young would say (actually he probably wouldn't say this, but it's kinda his expression) :)

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your loved one Nomas. That can only be incredibly difficult. I lost a relative about 8 months ago, and that was super difficult - particularly for those closest to her and with unresolved issues that the experience of grief has no totally brought to the fore.

What do you feel like you're struggling with the most right now? If you had to choose one thing, something maybe we could help you brainstorm potential ways of addressing/overcoming?

<3 keep you head up!
 
Thanks turns out i missed a very important word ...my brother died 7 years ago ...but i found out some things that happened to him long ago that i was not aware of how bad that was ...when he was just a teen ...we knew parts but not all ... its a really long story but hortific....

I am doing better today ...

I think just going to have those kinds of days till i am off this fentanyl and through the withdrawls ....

A bit worried about how the next drop in dose is going to affect me ...i would like to get my house in better order for when that happens ...i have a feeling it will be worse than the first drop ...i need to try not to focus on that so much , but thats hard for me to do ...

And stop smoking pot day has been moved to tomarrow...it really does help with pain ...
 
Seriously i leave my house for 2 hours and come home to a drunk off his ass husband wtf ... i swear i am about to loose my shit over here ...i dont mind buzzed but bouncing off the walls ...

And now i have to smell cheap wine sweat coming out his pores all night no wonder i am so stressed
 
Is your SO aware of how his drinking to excess affects you? Actually I guess that's a rather silly question. Instead I'll ask, have you tried talking with your SO when he's sober about how his drinking to the point of drunkenness affects you?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Omg i just wrote a long reply tried to edit and it deleted it urgh. Not doing replys on this phone anymore 2nd time that has hapoened to me ..will rewrite later when i am on my laptop
 
@Nomas...do you want me to restore that post? That's one thing my moderator interface lets me do. Send me a PM or reply if you'd like me to resuscitate it.
 
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