How High do you Aim?

[Captain.Heroin]

Dear PD Community,

I'm wondering if anyone actually enjoys an experience where it gets to the level I'm about to describe. Sometimes in the past when I have taken mushrooms, or LSD, for instance, if I took a high enough dosage (too much in my opinion), I will lose the ability to talk/think properly, I will forget what my name is, I'll forget where I am, where I live, sometimes I might black out entirely and have 0% connection to the outside world. I might even do things that I have no memory of, and later someone would have to tell me what I was doing.

Does anyone actually enjoy this? I can't imagine anyone enjoys blacking out on a psychedelic like this, however when I first started tripping once I got to this level on mushrooms, I always aimed for it, without fail, until I eventually grew tired of it. Then I started to aim a bit lower so I remained more in control.

I ask this because this recently happened to me, and the person I was with (thank you for watching over me ) could tell I wasn't enjoying it. There was a point where I was enjoying it, but as it got more and more intense when I wasn't expecting it to, it became fully dysphoric. I think my friend could even tell when this happened. Despite this happening to me I also kept having very small 5-10 second long windows of clarity where I'd realize what was happening to me, and then I'd slip right back into it.

So nonetheless, I'm seriously wondering, does anyone aim for such a level? If so, explain why, I'm very interested. If you don't, what do you aim for? You can rate it in terms of a Shulgin scale (+, ++, etc.) or something like this. Please include examples of the top level that I did that you have experienced (blacking out, losing ability to speak entirely, etc.).

A poll wouldn't hurt either.

 

[drug100]

I once took 3 hits of acid and my visual was changing so much that i bad tripped I had PTSD for 5 days. After that day I said to myself I will always low dose on psychedelics with no visual changes. I am so happy that I did not develop HPPD but PTSD for a few days.

 

[dezz]

I tend to aim at slight visuals to make it interesting and deep introspective thoughts combined with music appreciation. I think that would be a level 2 or just maybe 3 sometimes. I like to be able to choose to be "out of it" but not have it slammed in my face as you put it.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I once took 3 hits of acid and my visual was changing so much that i bad tripped I had PTSD for 5 days. After that day I said to myself I will always low dose on psychedelics with no visual changes. I am so happy that I did not develop HPPD but PTSD for a few days.

So you didn't black out or lose your ability to talk, or anything like that? I'm trying to ascertain how common this is in the PD community, and if people enjoy it.

It sounds like you were aiming for a mild acid trip and a +++ was too much for you, and I'm sorry to hear that. It always sucks to be overwhelmed by a psychedelic. But at least you can better gauge dosing in the future.

I tend to aim at slight visuals to make it interesting and deep introspective thoughts combined with music appreciation. I think that would be a level 2 or just maybe 3 sometimes. I like to be able to choose to be "out of it" but not have it slammed in my face as you put it.

Thanks for the reply!

Could you ever see yourself going to the top level, or not really?

 

[dezz]

I wen't there lots of times, when I first discovered psychedelics I wanted to push it to the limit and see what happened. Now I prefer peace and quiet lol and I like to keep my ego intact

 

[drug100]

So you didn't black out or lose your ability to talk, or anything like that? I'm trying to ascertain how common this is in the PD community, and if people enjoy it.

It sounds like you were aiming for a mild acid trip and a +++ was too much for you, and I'm sorry to hear that. It always sucks to be overwhelmed by a psychedelic. But at least you can better gauge dosing in the future.



Thanks for the reply!

Could you ever see yourself going to the top level, or not really?

I never lost the ability to talk or blacked out but I was really scared of how the visuals were changing. I was in my room the whole time wondering if the trip is ever going to leave. The worst part is when the trip left I felt very weird for 5 days. I never went outside and eating was impossible. I was forcing myself to eat. After 5 days I was back to normal. Its rare that someone like me prefers low dose with no visual changes

 

[blazR]

I aim for +++++

Nah, I usually aim for ++ or +++ when confident with a substance

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I wen't there lots of times, when I first discovered psychedelics I wanted to push it to the limit and see what happened. Now I prefer peace and quiet lol and I like to keep my ego intact

lol! Well said dezz, thanks for sharing.

I never lost the ability to talk or blacked out but I was really scared of how the visuals were changing. I was in my room the whole time wondering if the trip is ever going to leave. The worst part is when the trip left I felt very weird for 5 days. I never went outside and eating was impossible. I was forcing myself to eat. After 5 days I was back to normal. Its rare that someone like me prefers low dose with no visual changes

Thanks for sharing!

And I'm glad to hear you're feeling better too.

I aim for +++++

Nah, I usually aim for ++ or +++ when confident with a substance

hahaha!

Thanks for the response.

 

[Rorthron]

I remember the first time I went into a M-Hole, I totally lost contact with reality. I forgot my name, my body, where I was, my family. Absolutely everything. I was conscious though, but absolutely there in the present, without any memory and no desire to retrieve it. I remember now when in that state I thought that "the body was in a safe place" That was it. there was no disquiet. Nothing. Nirvana? Perhaps not, but close.

I found the experience incredibly valuable and I repeated that state other times. These were the most important spiritual lessons I ever received. And I aim to do it again. Methoxetamine, for me has only value at Hole dosages and, as I have zero tolerance - I'm a very infrequent user - I can hole easily with 40 mg.

Yet I cannot even fathom what is to be in that state with Mushrooms. MXE is much less hectic, physically soothing and very predictable. In a M-Hole, it would be for me impossible to get up from my couch and do something dangerous for my body.

 

[6apbhmm]

I know it will sound really boring but I usually aim for the exact opposite of what OP described. I'm just too rational and/or careful or whatever.. I don't like very intense psychedelic experiences at all, one or even 1/2 of strong acid is when I'm most happy, visuals are only fun for me if I am 100% aware that I see something I shouldn't see.. based on that link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychedelic_experience#Levels_of_psychedelic_experience I'd say lvl 2 is enough for me, rarely maybe lvl 3.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Yet I cannot even fathom what is to be in that state with Mushrooms. MXE is much less hectic, physically soothing and very predictable. In a M-Hole, it would be for me impossible to get up from my couch and do something dangerous for my body.

I have been in this state on mushrooms, salvia, DMT, and LSD now.

I will only use DMT to break through again; I hope to never have a top level experience with LSD or mushrooms ever again.

I know it will sound really boring but I usually aim for the exact opposite of what OP described. I'm just too rational and/or careful or whatever.. I don't like very intense psychedelic experiences at all, one or even 1/2 of strong acid is when I'm most happy, visuals are only fun for me if I am 100% aware that I see something I shouldn't see.. based on that link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychedelic_experience#Levels_of_psychedelic_experience I'd say lvl 2 is enough for me, rarely maybe lvl 3.

Thanks for sharing; you don't sound boring at all. I appreciate to know what you all are aiming for.

 

[CapnCannabis]

I personally like to go quite deep on trips and spread them out. Though a nice moderate recreational dose is always nice. I recently got to the blackout level on a shrooms and 25i combo. I lost contact with "reality" for about 4 hours; I was completely gone. I didn't know who I was, where I was, who I was with, or what anything was. Complete and utter ego death. While it was incredibly profound and eye-opening, it was so intense that it was almost traumatic. My friend I was tripping with said that he tried to talk to me but I was so far gone that all he could get out of me was incoherent word blabber (I do not remember any of it). He said I was walking around the room bumping into shit and muttering something about string theory and that this is all a dream (I vaguely recall doing this, I remember walking into things and literally feeling like I was moving through them). I think I broke through to another dimension, something that I had only achieved prior to this by smoking dmt. It was a++++ or a level 5, depending on which scale you go by.

I can only recall vague bits and pieces of the 4 hours I was gone. I remember meeting Gaia, the incarnation of mother nature (check out Gaia hypothesis, it's fascinating). I remember her gently reaching for and caressing my genitals and then having sex with me. It was the most gentle, tender embrace imaginable. I also remember seeing a bunch of my friends from real life saying "This is reality. You've been living a dream your whole life". It was bizarre. I also remember seeing the evolution of all animals on Earth (man included; McKenna’s Stoned Ape Theory is very compelling especially after experiencing this trip). I remember seeing ancient civilizations like the Egyptians, the Maya, etc. and realizing that they became so advanced by ingesting psychedelics. I remember meeting God, who was me. All is one, and one is all.

In the 2 weeks following my trip, I had the most insane dreams of my life. In my dreams I tripped 3 times. One night I dreamed that I tripped on a large dose of potent liquid LSD (it was fucking awesome!). Another night, I went on two trips in my dreams. The first trip was on shroomahuasca- I ate shrooms and took an MAOI. That was crazy; it was extremely mystical and shamanistic. I was like in a jungle in South America then I went to hyperspace and communicated with a bunch of entities. The second trip that night was on smoked dmt. I dreamed that I was laying in my bed and smoked a good amount of dmt, then my bed gave way and I fell through into hyperspace. Again, I met the entities. These dreams were so vivid that I thought I was actually tripping. It felt so real. I think the hydroxyzine I was taking at the time may have had something to do with this, I have read that it can trigger crazy vivid dreams.

However, these tripping dreams have been occurring ever since I started experimenting with psychedelics. Before I first tried dmt, I had a dream about what the experience would be like. Then it happened, JUST LIKE IT DID IN MY DREAM. I was in my basement on the couch and took like 7 huge rips out of a glass pipe, then as I was slipping away into hyperspace I said "no way" as I broke through (which is exactly how it happened in my dream down to me saying “no way” out loud).

Then before I tried shrooms for the first time, I had a dream about what the experience would be like. It matched the shrooms high exactly.

I do not know how this is possible, but it is amazing. Free tripping!

 

[SomaResearch]

If I ever get the opportunity, I would take it slow and steady. Start out small doses and work my way up. Find the comfy zone and stick with it.

But I live in a hillbilly, backwater, middle of nowhere town where nothing is available. I can only dream of potential experiments and what I might do. LOL

Too low of doses are not great either. One can only take so much rainbow colored ocean swells with tinkling music, and a lighthouse light always out of reach. But watching the nebula background screen on my computer was really freaking interesting!

 

[missinthizzin]

One time about 6-7 years back I ate 2 grams of the most potent mushrooms I have ever come across. I remember enjoying myself and having fun for what seemed like a while. at some point o decided to lay down and watch t.v. in the dark. I had no cable at the time and it was like 3:00 in the mornin, so naturally the only thing on was cops. I remember turning off the light and curling up in a blanket. After that its mostly black with a few random moments of lucidity. I remember feeling as though my consciousness has been reduced the the very fabric of existence. I came to around 3 hours later with my blanket pulled up to my chin staring at my alarm clock. I had no idea what had happened or who I was. I was left terrified and confused. I stared at that clock for over 2 hours watching every minute pass, slowly piecing reality back together. This experience was traumatic beyond belief and has certainly taught me to appreciate these powerful tools far more. It took a while to integrate the experience, but eventually became a key in some life changing revelations. Needless to say, I'm much more cautious with psychedelic's now and for the most part I font have any desire to reach that place again, however part of me can't help but wonder if there is more value (spiritually) in going that deep than I have attained. Mostly I like to expand my thoughts and have philosophical conversations with close friends while seeing moderate colors and patterns.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Here is how I feel about it...

It seems like I'm not alone in disliking this kind of experience.

 

[scotty5591]

Ive had a few experiences on 4 ACO DMT where i have pretty much lost connection with reality completely with ego loss and feeling like i was dying, now if i was sober and thought about what that might feel like i would say it would be terrifying, but it wasnt simply because i didnt really know what fear was when i was experiencing it, so to say you will definitely have a bad time on heroic doses of psychedelics isnt always the case.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Ive had a few experiences on 4 ACO DMT where i have pretty much lost connection with reality completely with ego loss and feeling like i was dying, now if i was sober and thought about what that might feel like i would say it would be terrifying, but it wasnt simply because i didnt really know what fear was when i was experiencing it, so to say you will definitely have a bad time on heroic doses of psychedelics isnt always the case.

I don't enjoy blacking out on a long-lasting psychedelic. I think it's kind of reckless to do this.

I can still enjoy it for what it's worth but it's not what I aim for in order to have an optimally good time.

 

[azzo]

I got there with Mushrooms (psilohuasca), MXE and salvia for now.
Tbh when i was young and i started ,as for you, i was searching for it, that is what i consider a ++++ level, anyway i don't search that level anymore because in most cases they were really frightening experiences, expecially with Mushrooms (total mess that sent me into a deep depression for months) and Salvia but also with MXE (only 60mg orally) it wasn't comfortable for the most part of it.
After that ++++ experience with mushrooms i stopped with psychedelics for 5 years and i really thought i wouldn't have taken anything again for the rest of my life, but luckily i was wrong.

Now i search for strong trips at +++ level where i still have some control, i enjoy strong OEVs and some mindfuck too but not to the point of losing consciousness of myself and what surrounds me.
Thats why now i'm not interested anymore in susbtances like Salvia or smoked DMT/5-MeO-DMT.
Also i don't think there is much to learn from those ++++ trips, i mean i don't get personal enrichment from those experiences, it is far more worthwhile a +++ trip where you can think, process deep thoughts and actively discuss also with others.

It could sound incredible but some of the deep thoughts and feelings i had in that terrifying mushroom trip (that i had removed and didn't remember anymore before starting with psych again) still emerge in some 'so-so' trips i'm having 10 years later, and they still scare me.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

^ I definitely think there is something to be gained from a break through on DMT myself, but thank you for sharing nonetheless.

I wonder how many other people were seeking ++++'s when they were younger.

 

[Aporia]

I don't enjoy blacking out on a long-lasting psychedelic. I think it's kind of reckless to do this.

I can still enjoy it for what it's worth but it's not what I aim for in order to have an optimally good time.

Very well said Capt.

In my teens I aimed for ++++ but back then I wouldn't have known it. I just knew that I was aiming for something very extreme and tried to take higher doses. I came across it a few times. As an adult, like most, I aim for a ++ or +++ depending on my situation. +++'s are reserved for trips with my partner and I only. ++'s are for small social group trips/music shows. Sometime I feel that when these experiences are to be had, sometimes the dosing doesn't matte though. I also believe that there is a difference between taking so much acid, or getting so high, that you lose consciousness and having a ++++ experience. Generally ++++ experiences can be very lucid and not horrible at all.