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How High Are You? v.Thisssssss hiighhhhggh.

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On a potent marijuana edible.
Damn tiesto you really have fun on alcohol. I need to lean to enjoy the buzz since it is everywhere, but i just don't seem to like it alone.
 
Whosajiggawaaa said:
Not one comment ?! Seriously ?! I thought I was regular enough here to get something. Damn. Lucky I've got better than great irl friends then...
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Honestly, man.. I was going to say something, but I don't want to be more of a downer. I hope you're doing all right though. Take care of yourself man <3


I be drunk. Weed be smoked next
 
F1n1shed said:
On a potent marijuana edible.
Damn tiesto you really have fun on alcohol. I need to lean to enjoy the buzz since it is everywhere, but i just don't seem to like it alone.
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Honestly I never used to enjoy it.

It was only until I was like 20 when I really got into it. I didn't see the point of drinking, when I could get whatever I wanted with just a phone call. But now shit is different. I'm kinda on lockdown, in a way. My parents monitor everything I do. Like I can't even smoke weed in the garage anymore (when they are home at least ;)) But yea, I like to feel good. So yea I do what I can nowadays. Sometimes I CWE codeine from Tylenol 1's, sometimes I get wasted on booze.

But yea I'm not 'wasted' right now, thank god. I could if I wanted too...but I've somehow learned more self-discipline over the past 2 years...

EDIT:

K now im wasted. Im trying to talk my friend out of becoming like me. Its hard. This nigga is pounding back 1.90L at LEAST of 40% alcohol. I hate it I dont want him to go through what i''ve been through. He doesnt listen. He knows I've been through that stage, but he still doesn't listen...fuck me. I try and try. But now, ppl just wanna get fucking destroyed without knowing the path they've set themselves on...fuck man I feel so hopeless. I pray he doesnt end up like me...

Also I might be going clubbing tomorrow night (MOLLY WOOT WOOT) so I don't wanna feel like complete shit with a hangover for that..lol

EDIT #2: BTW i apologize about the way i type. "Nigga" comes natural to me. I've been around it for too long. So please BL'ers dont take it in the wrong way. Im a product of my environment.
 
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Whosajiggawaaa said:
Not one comment ?! Seriously ?! I thought I was regular enough here to get something. Damn. Lucky I've got better than great irl friends then...
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its late so it wont count for makin you feel like enough of a regular but i hope it counts in that i do genuinely wish you the best in what you n her are goin thru
 
Whosajiggawaaa said:
That was to numb the pain. The loved one I been mentioning in previous posts i my mom and she has been diagnosed with end-stage aggressive as hell cancer. Oxy is keeping me together and so are my friends, I visit her every day though.
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Sorry for the late response, how is your mom doing? Is she in alot of pain?

I wish you and your family the very best mate. I know what it feels like to support a very close relative who has aggressive cancer, a few years back I spent about 3 months in the hospital (almost 24/7) to be with him (my uncle).

OT: I'm out of herb! :( Time to SL 1mg buprenorphine I guess.
 
Whosajiggawaaa said:
Not taking oxy for physical pain or thrills anymore. It's to kill the overwhelming emotional pain - then maybe a buzz.
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Just saw what you wrote about your mother. Must be a horrible time for you. I hope you can deal with it and I hope your mom gets the best treatment possible and as many painkillers as she needs to keep her comfortable. I don't know the situation, but I guess by the sound of it there is no chance of recovery and she doesn't have long. Just be there for her as much as possible and let her know how much you love her and how much you appreciate everything she has done for you. Let her know that you'll be okay so she doesn't have to worry about how you are doing while she is going through that. I'm sure she'll still worry for you some - that's what mothers do, but you can make it less difficult for her by reassuring her in every way possible - that you are okay and in any other way possible. If she is religious, use this to comfort her - death is less frightening if you think there will be an afterlife or that you'll all be together again someday. If there is anything that you need to tell her or if you have any sort of apology you feel you should make (maybe there is none needed), you need to do that - it would be really painful if you failed to do it and you don't want to be left with that kind of sorrow. If there could somehow be a miracle, I hope you get one. Be with her as much as you can for what time you have left with her and do what you can to comfort her. This will help you both greatly - especially you, since you'll still be here and you'll always know you were there for her and did the best you could to make it easier for her in her time of need. I wish there was something I could say that would make it easier for you, but I don't know if any words could make anything like that easier. I hope for her and you that she doesn't suffer much (maybe she could be medicated enough to prevent it from being painful at all) and she is peaceful at the end.

Is she getting any kind of treatment for the cancer or is there just nothing to be done?

My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer six years ago and was not expected to live long, but she is still here and doing well, something I am really grateful for. She still has the cancer and there is little chance of a cure but she could live a lot longer if the chemo keeps working as well as it has. If there is any way that she could pull through I really hope she does. I wish she could somehow beat the odds or have a miraculous recovery. I know that probably isn't helping you - I wish all the best for you and your mother. Try to cherish what time is left as much as possible...I guess that is about all you can do.
 
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Thanks for all the replies - I've had to nudge a friend (and a few of her friends actually) who didn't quite act right in the in right direction but he's there for me now and they for her.

Yeah, I'm trying to conserve my opiates for when I need to be there and be upbeat and jolly for her, that and the emotional pain, as she doesn't know how bad it is, the doctor's don't wanna crush her hope and neither do I, she wanted me to get her out of there last night when I was there and said she wouldn't speak to me again if I didn't - but I obv can't do that and she wanted me to give her more Oxy - that i did slip her(10 mg IR, fk it). I've had to fight to get her the best pain killers and the right nurses (she had sadistic nurses one night - something out of a horror movie, so i had to lay a complaint there at the same making sure she wouldn't be victimised).

AT the moment it 40 mg oxycontin 8 hourly, 20 mg OXY ir 4 hourly, max strength fentynyl patch and morphine infusion, and morphine intramuscularly she's on. I've got this after fighting(perservering rather) and calling an interventional pain specialist, the original was 3 mg morphine every 6 hours and tramadol lol!.

I've got my intake down to 240 mgs of oxy a day - I feel as though I can't be functional, deal with hmo's, dr's, banks without breaking down without it. She is my only family left, I lost my dad some years back to heart disease and no grandparents.

But this bone cancer is gnarly as fuck and no one should ever have to go through it, and anyone who battles it is genuinely a warrior in my books.

As for me,gonna gonna for a beer with a close friend just now. Then maybe some codeine and 40 mgs of oxy and some series. I got my dog here and she comes to me when she hears my distress - very sweet natured :).

Sorry for being a debby downer - but this is the thread I post in most often so figured I'd post in it.
 
^No worries, those are some serious things to be having on your mind. No need to keep quiet about it here, all you'll get is support for something that's so serious.
Again, all the best. I'm not religious but if I was I'd say a prayer for you. If you wanna PM to talk, I will likely be able to relate to alot of things you're going through right now. My uncle died of brain tumor, and he was closer to me than my father. Also my mom has 3 aneurysmas in her brain (2 of which have been coiled so those shouldn't pose a problem anymore) that put her at a high risk for a stroke. She went into surgery twice already with a very real chance of never coming out. (When they coiled the 2 first aneurysmas)

So, if you wanna talk, I'm here brother.

OT: 2mg buprenorphine SL, 4mg clonazepam SL. I wish I had a joint left. =D
 
PillToChill said:
^No worries, those are some serious things to be having on your mind. No need to keep quiet about it here, all you'll get is support for something that's so serious.
Again, all the best. I'm not religious but if I was I'd say a prayer for you. If you wanna PM to talk, I will likely be able to relate to alot of things you're going through right now. My uncle died of brain tumor, and he was closer to me than my father. Also my mom has 3 aneurysmas in her brain (2 of which have been coiled so those shouldn't pose a problem anymore) that put her at a high risk for a stroke. She went into surgery twice already with a very real chance of never coming out. (When they coiled the 2 first aneurysmas)

So, if you wanna talk, I'm here brother.

OT: 2mg buprenorphine SL, 4mg clonazepam SL. I wish I had a joint left. =D
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How's bupe - from an opiod connoisseur such as yourself :P ? My last experience with it was shit. And I forsee my oxy running out at some point (will only be out for a few days, week at the most) - you reckon 8 mg a day will have the numbing properties I need to be satisfied (got a box of 7 * 8 mgs).

Edit: thx for the offer. The more support the better. I've blown of my friends for drinks tonight (in my honour i presume) to get high on oxycodone and codeine and watch the history channel and constantly pester the nurses on the phone for updates/pain levels.
 
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Bigfanofthemdrugs said:
a half drop of acid
5mg diazepam
30mg hydrocodone
30mg dextroamphetamine
weed

such a yummy combo
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Sounds pretty good.

Well I'm stoned and rolling a fat add blunt of the rest of the durban poison I have... to smoke with my friends who are coming to pick me up. Then we're getting korean food, haha. Wonder if we will trip tonight also..
 
Doing lines of heroin after a long week of work...this is my favorite time of the week and if/when I ever decide to quit for good it'll be hard to cope without dope on friday nights. I got probably half a gram left all for me to snort tonight bwahaha it's all mine (though I would gladly share some with my fellow BL's who are into opiates...jigga gets first dibs :D)

Now if I only I had some weed to go along with the dope but all I have is keif in my grinder so keif hits it is.
 
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