TheRapperGoneBad
Bluelighter
Dammmnnnn I bet yer spun bruh bruh
OT: baked bout drink
OT: baked bout drink
How High Are You? v. "Summertime acid trips?"
- Thread starter Felonious Monk
- Start date
- Status
Tryptamine*Dreamer
Ex-Bluelighter
Smoked a good amount of meth with a friend, 45mg hydrocodone, 1.25mg alprazolam, 50mg diphenhydramine, and 300mg ketoconazole to potentiate the hydrocodone and alprazolam - if you don't know, ketoconazole greatly increases the level of hydrocodone and the duration of its effects and slows the breakdown of hydromorphone, an active metabolite. It does not increase the plasma concentration of alprazolam much but for a 0.5mg dose it increases the Area Under the Curve (AUC, a measure of total exposure) by about 200% and of a 0.8mg dose by about 450% mostly increasing the duration of effects.
Feeling really good :D
Just about to take another hit of meth, we used my pipe and he left some in it. He wants me to look up some info on drug rehab centers for his alcoholism that may take his insurance and look up a med I told him about I could get that is used in treating alcohol withdrawal (it would probably be useful for benzo addiction as well) called Acamprosate. I'm going back in a while so we can smoke some pot and I can give him some info.
I'm just wondering, might taking a low dose of Primidone (an anticonvulsant which is a pro-drug of phenobarbital - it has a half-life of 5-18 hours and Phenobarbital has a half life of 75-120 hours) be something one could use in place of a long acting benzo like Clonazepam for getting off of alcohol and gradually cutting the dose on that? I think Alprazolam/Xanax and other short acting benzos are really not good for someone who is trying to quit alcohol - you need a longer acting drug but I do not know if Phenobarbital would be a good or acceptable choice. I'll make a post about this and what I am trying to do in The Dark Side later but thought I'd just ask here while I'm at it.
Well, he came back wanting money. I told him I wasn't dealing with him anymore. I mean, he has done it to me so many times and he did stick out weed and ask if I'd give him orange powder (DPT) while I was sitting next to my 15 year old nephew and I don't want him seeing that or hearing about my powders. He got the money from someone else and invited me over to smoke meth and needed to borrow my pipe
He apologized and we had a good time. I did tell him not to try to give me drugs or ask for them in front of my nephews - that is not appropriate. I don't let them see me using drugs and do my best to not be around them if I think they can tell I am high. He has screwed me over a lot of times wanting benzos and not giving me anything even though he promised to. We had a talk and he has needed them a lot of times for withdrawal - he should have just told me that in the first place, he seems like a nice guy and says he has been trying to quit but when talking to him it seems pretty clear he is trying to reduce his level of use too fast. I've given him things for free before to let him try them out (Peruvian Torch, DPT, Ethylphenidate, Lyrica, and a mix of Higenamine+DMBA/AMP Citrate) and he's given me things a few times - not nearly as much as I have him but he did not have to lie to get pills to stop his alcohol withdrawal which he told me has caused him to have seizures three times when he was trying to quit. It seems now he understands how he has been making me feel calling me a friend and repeatedly ripping me off and that he was about to lose me as someone he could ever do anything with/get anything from again.
I only have one other person I consider a friend. I stopped considering this guy a friend a while ago because he kept doing me wrong but it seems now maybe we can be real friends. I hope so, it sucks not having friends. I'm going to try to help him out with quitting. I felt like I'd never get to where I am now with my level of benzo (and other downer) use but I was making the mistake of reducing my dose too fast. I've been doing it really slowly for a long time, save for 2 or 3 months where I started abusing the hell out of them again. I think now I could stop using benzos on a daily basis and maybe use some phenibut and Lyrica for a month or so in their place and be off of them. I think I can help him quit since I seem to have finally got that right. He feels kind of hopeless about it and is afraid of dying from withdrawal but I think he is trying to quit too fast like I had done a number of times (then I said fuck it and gave up because it seemed like I'd never be able to do it).
He has some friends I don't want to be around though because they are bigots (I don't think he is. I know he is friends with a gay father and son and he thinks same-sex marriage should be legal. He said that when talking to my mom. I think when he was acting like a bigot he was just going along with his friends, something I am guilty of, I just did not say the things but saying yeah or I know or Uh-Huh is really no different) and one of his friends traps animals and was laughing about a raccoon drowning when it got caught in his trap - I don't tolerate that kind of thing and if that guy is there I will leave; I can't stand such people.
Both of my friends hunt deer and wild hogs and I am fine with them doing that (it is a more humane way of getting meat than buying it at the store and unfortunately there is an exploding population of wild hogs causing environmental damage and it has to be controlled, and when a population of deer exceeds the carrying capacity of the area you end up with mass starvation, sometimes 90% or more along with other species impacted when deer eat and destroy all the vegetation they can reach; all the predators that would keep the population in balance are gone here so sometimes that is probably necessary as much as I don't like killing, and most hunters want to kill the healthier deer so that is bad for their genetics. It is better than supporting factory farms[I don't eat meat so I don't support those farms]) but I will not be friends with or hang out with people who like to kill animals for fur or trophies (unless I think I could eventually get them to stop) and anyone who thinks that kind of thing is funny is extremely sadistic in my opinion.
As for me, I had no human friends after age 11 until I was in the looney bin last time. I did make up a story here about an acquaintance I did business with after they helped me out when I needed someone who knew Chinese saying that we were great friends but I only did that so the people here would be happy for me instead of feeling bad because I had so much trouble and unhappiness. I shouldn't have done that but I was just trying to say/do something nice for anyone who might give a fuck about me (I did not know there was more than two people who really gave very much of a fuck and I wasn't quite sure about them but it seems like I was wrong about that) I am not able to act quite normal and I think it is due to a long period of social isolation. I did not really know how to make friends and when I'd try it seemed like the other person would just want to kind of ditch me before I could get to know them at all. Maybe I can learn how to act normal if this guy is not just telling me what he needs to say to resume taking advantage of me like he has been for a long time.
My other friend lives a long way away and only comes to my town once every couple of months. It is disappointing to see he was drinking again with his severe liver damage The docs have told him he would not last long if he drinks and he should already be dead after colliding with an 18-wheeler because his blood ammonia level was too high (I'll take his word he wasn't intoxicated - that can cause loss of consciousness and it happens to people with severe liver damage). I've tried to get him to stop the alcohol and just use other things, even told him I'd try to find an alternative with similar effects that isn't so hard on the liver). He has stage 4 cirrhosis. He has a Hepatitis C infection and his doctor is giving/going to give him something that could cure that and it might allow his liver to improve some. Maybe I should be calling him more. He almost never calls me. Maybe it would help get him to listen if he feels like other people are concerned enough, I do not know how many friends he has and whether or not they ever get on his case about his drinking. I'm not being an asshole about it or anything but he is drinking every time I've seen him. He tells me it is just for the special occasion because I'm seeing him/he's seeing his brother and I and it kind of makes me feel like shit to think he might be doing it because we are hanging out, but I think he is just using it as an excuse because I've told him I don't drink very much and I'd rather not be drinking with him - that we can do other things.
But if I am going to keep him as a friend he is going to have to accept that I have different political views than him because his favorite thing to talk about is politics but he has said various people have no right to bother him by espousing various views and beliefs he considers un-American so I just went along with him because he was pretty much saying people with beliefs I hold should keep their mouths shut (kind of ironic, freedom of speech is a constitutional right and not supporting that really is un-American but I did not bother to tell him - he has some alcoholic brain damage and I don't want to make him feel stupid. Lucky that crash didn't damage his brain, he seems to be the same as before mentally).
I can't get much out of a relationship if the other person is free to speak their mind and I feel I have to keep my opinions to myself and go along with his - it really turns into a source of pain and anger and I'd much prefer to spend that time with my pets instead. I'm sure everyone thinks I care about them too much but I do not care what anyone else thinks. I did not want to be friendless [and I consider my pets as friends even if others think that is ridiculous, so I always had them, but I do want some human friends. I thought I was incapable of feeling any friendship with other people, like that part of me was dead, but I stopped feeling that way recently and now I feel like the guy I just smoked meth with is actually my friend, but I hope he is not just playing me for a fool and telling me that like he has so many times - it felt different this time but maybe he just said what he knew he needed to say when I told him how he kept making me feel. I hope he is not just fucking with my emotions so he can resume taking advantage of me later.] but I am not going to pretend to be someone I am not so he'll like me - if I am not being myself his friend is someone who doesn't even exist and it is emotionally painful to me to be in that situation and wrong of me to deceive him. And it is not fair for him to freely speak his mind while I am made to feel like I have no right to disagree. I kind of feel bad for shit talking him in a really bad way. He has pretty much invited me to go on a trip to Galveston in a few months and that is a place I have wanted to visit for a long time. But I don't want to go with him unless he can get to know the real me and accept me for that. I don't want to hang out with someone if I think they might hate me if they really knew me anyway and I should give him the chance to love, hate, or not be around me instead of assuming he'd hate me because of things he has said since he did not know at times he was talking about me without even knowing it. Hell, he sees me as a friend so it might change his outlook on groups he's said hateful things about and thinks should legally be discriminated against. If we can be friends, good. If that could help him become more tolerant, even better - plenty of folks become more tolerant when they find they have friends or family belonging to a group they are biased against. Better to try and see if he can accept me for who I am and maybe at some point he'd become more tolerant. Probably good for society if those who are tolerant of other groups try to make friends of bigots, they could help them become more tolerant and if the tolerant try to be tolerant enough of the bigots to be their friends it would have a positive impact on society as a whole.
I'm hoping to go to his place in a couple of weeks so we can trip and so we can shoot targets with his guns (I won't shoot myself, don't worry. Never plan to do anything to kill myself again). That should be fun. Maybe we'll have some 5-MAPB or MXP with whatever he has and I can spend the weekend. He is out in the country with over 20 acres of land and I've never been there. Should be a great place to trip! And I'll bring my camera, sounds like I may be able to get some good photos. Maybe it won't be too wet. It has rained over 13 inches where I live this month and it has probably been just about as wet there, maybe wetter. But it did put the drought that had been in place for the last five years or so to an end. I hope it stops raining for a while now, I can't get some business I need taken care of done until it dries out. It is really delaying things.
I remember when I went to his other place the first time when he lived closer and he let me shoot his gun. First time I ever fired one. Then we smoked weed. I kept smoking after he stopped, and then he wanted me to go with him in his truck. I got really paranoid thinking "Oh my God, he is a murderer, that is why he wanted me to spend the weekend and now he is trying to take me away somewhere to shoot me." He wanted me to go somewhere the next day and I was stoned then too and I got all paranoid with the same idea and would not go with him (I pretended to almost fall so He'd think I was too stoned) and I went back home later that day. He's not going to kill me. I don't know why the fuck I kept thinking that then - pretty much everyone in this region has a gun and I did not think that when he let me fire it but I was freaking out inside when he wanted me to go with him - and I did not know if he'd use the gun or a knife. I stayed awake all night thinking he might try to kill me in my sleep. So fucking paranoid and he did not do anything to deserve me thinking those things.
There is this woman I chatted online with who for some reason seems to possibly be interested in me. Not sure why the fuck she'd be interested in someone like me - I am pretty ugly and she is pretty hot. She said she did not think I was ugly. She would for sure if she saw me naked. I also have a smaller than average cock. I haven't talked about that. She knows I've never been in love but she doesn't know I am a virgin (I don't think trying to give a blowjob and not being able to finish counts as losing your virginity). Maybe I should tell her I had sex with a prostitute when I was 20. I did get set up with a hooker once but I chickened out on actual sex so just got a handjob and we got high on mephedrone but she still got paid for what we were supposed to do. I'm not sure if that would be a good idea. It would probably be a turnoff but a 32 year old virgin would probably be a turn off too. Not like there is any significant chance we'll ever hook up anyway. I only talked once for about an hour but she wants to talk more. Maybe she'll be available for a chat tonight. If not, I'll try to chat with her tomorrow.
Well, there was a pretty long meth rant. I think I might have pissed off one of the moderators here (did not get a warning, just seems they don't want to talk to me anymore and we used to message each other but now they must think I am an asshole or something. Not gonna be an asshole and say who it is, maybe they are just too busy to fuck around with things like that but I am pretty sure they think I am just a bad guy now. Guess I should just forget about that - if that is the case, I think they are wrong but that is only my opinion).
If anyone here has tried THJ-018 and JWH-018, could you tell me if THJ-018 is similar and as good as JWH-018 or if you've tried THJ-018 and 5-F-APINACA/5-F-AKB48 which of those two you liked best? There are so many cannabinoids out there now and not much info on a lot of them. The only one I am willing to use at the moment that is available if 5-F-APINACA/5-F-AKB48 because I have lots of experience with it and it is just as good as weed in my opinion but I have an interest in THJ-018. One person wrote somewhere it was not as good as JWH-018 but that is one person. I'm afraid to try any cannabinoid I haven't tried unless there is lots of info available because AB-CHMINACA caused me severe hypotension, as low as 60something/42 from what I remember - smoking 3mg produced only fairly mild effects that were brief and I decided to do an oral dose - it usually takes several times as much that way and 3mg was mild so I did 21mg. It didn't even make me feel all that stoned, just more sedated and weak. I'm pretty much afraid of most synthetic cannabinoids now.
When I ordered that AB-CHMINACA, the info about there being a number of deaths and people having seizures and psychotic episodes was not there but it is now and that is one I hope nobody reading this will try (and if you already have it, maybe it would be one to throw away). It needs to be pulled from the market, it is too dangerous but apparently some would rather keep selling that poison that take a loss on that one thing. And as far as I am concerned, that one is more of a poison than a recreational drug.
Does anyone think it would be a good idea to write up a short trip report to put here and send to Erowid to maybe warn others away from that? It would mostly consist of talking about sitting in front of the ER and repeatedly passing out while my blood pressure is being monitored so someone could have them bring me a wheelchair (or stretcher if I passed out and did not wake up) and then fighting for a couple of hours to keep my blood pressure from getting lower/raise it some while sitting there when it got so low they started urging me to go ahead in - at that point I was going in if I could not get it up some, keep it up, and stay awake. Really just about the negative effects, I wasn't paying much attention to anything other than trying to stay awake and keep myself moving. I think reports like that would be appreciated but if not, no need to waste their time by sending them something to read they don't want.
Now taking another big hit on the meth pipe when I hit submit
Sure talked about a lot of different shit, meth gets me doing that...guess that is entirely normal.
Update:
Well, he never did call for me to come and he never came over. He said he'd do one of the two. I hope he just did not have the weed. I'm sure he didn't go to sleep...
Hope like hell he isn't intentionally lying to me (he has done that so many times before and I did give him some xanax after we finished hanging - I'd be an idiot to blindly trust him until he shows me he isn't just being nice once so he can worm his way in and use me some more, I've put up with him doing that enough - now I am not going to put up with it again, he needs to start keeping his word. I have never told him I'd do anything I did not do). In a couple of hours I'll see if he's home and see what's up if he hasn't left for work and I think I'll ask for a shard. I don't want to go to sleep today, I've been going to sleep near or after sunrise and waking up really late in the day and I want to reset my sleep cycle. If I can't get a little, I'll be wanting to go to sleep probably in the afternoon - too early but I'll just make myself stay awake if I can'r get a little shard for energy [and it will feel good too].
Update: I asked him for a shard before he left for work and he told me he was only working for two hours and then he'd give it to me. I did get it after six hours and I was about to complain about him lying to me again when he could have just said no (not like I'd get mad or keep pushing him to do it). But I did get it, so I am happy. He owes me $30 for my old digital camera so I'll have to see if he pays for it. If he doesn't, I know where he lives and I can go take that back but maybe I can trust him now. Now I am about to smoke a really big hit of meth. And then another. Then another. Then another after that
I'm going to be so high...
I also had 5g each of red, white, and green kratom strains about two hours ago along with 0.5mg clonazepam and 450mg phenibut.
Final update:Coming down bad from that meth, I bet I am going to regret doing it. Damnit. I hope I don't feel like dying tomorrow (not that I would do anything to make it happen) and I sure fuckin' hope it doesn't fuck my mood up for a week or a month and ruin a good period that seemed to have been developing well. For now I am going to alleviate this misery with 30mg hydrocodone potentiated with 300mg ketoconazole, 30mg temazepam, 50mg cyclobenzaprine, 50mg diphenhydramine, and 3.25ml 1,4-butanediol. In addition to the worsening mood my head is throbbing and my neck aches like all fuck. I sure hope I feel better tomorrow and don't get stuck in this sucky ass state.
Goodnight Bluelight, badnight me.
Feeling really good :D
Just about to take another hit of meth, we used my pipe and he left some in it. He wants me to look up some info on drug rehab centers for his alcoholism that may take his insurance and look up a med I told him about I could get that is used in treating alcohol withdrawal (it would probably be useful for benzo addiction as well) called Acamprosate. I'm going back in a while so we can smoke some pot and I can give him some info.
I'm just wondering, might taking a low dose of Primidone (an anticonvulsant which is a pro-drug of phenobarbital - it has a half-life of 5-18 hours and Phenobarbital has a half life of 75-120 hours) be something one could use in place of a long acting benzo like Clonazepam for getting off of alcohol and gradually cutting the dose on that? I think Alprazolam/Xanax and other short acting benzos are really not good for someone who is trying to quit alcohol - you need a longer acting drug but I do not know if Phenobarbital would be a good or acceptable choice. I'll make a post about this and what I am trying to do in The Dark Side later but thought I'd just ask here while I'm at it.
Well, he came back wanting money. I told him I wasn't dealing with him anymore. I mean, he has done it to me so many times and he did stick out weed and ask if I'd give him orange powder (DPT) while I was sitting next to my 15 year old nephew and I don't want him seeing that or hearing about my powders. He got the money from someone else and invited me over to smoke meth and needed to borrow my pipe
He apologized and we had a good time. I did tell him not to try to give me drugs or ask for them in front of my nephews - that is not appropriate. I don't let them see me using drugs and do my best to not be around them if I think they can tell I am high. He has screwed me over a lot of times wanting benzos and not giving me anything even though he promised to. We had a talk and he has needed them a lot of times for withdrawal - he should have just told me that in the first place, he seems like a nice guy and says he has been trying to quit but when talking to him it seems pretty clear he is trying to reduce his level of use too fast. I've given him things for free before to let him try them out (Peruvian Torch, DPT, Ethylphenidate, Lyrica, and a mix of Higenamine+DMBA/AMP Citrate) and he's given me things a few times - not nearly as much as I have him but he did not have to lie to get pills to stop his alcohol withdrawal which he told me has caused him to have seizures three times when he was trying to quit. It seems now he understands how he has been making me feel calling me a friend and repeatedly ripping me off and that he was about to lose me as someone he could ever do anything with/get anything from again.
I only have one other person I consider a friend. I stopped considering this guy a friend a while ago because he kept doing me wrong but it seems now maybe we can be real friends. I hope so, it sucks not having friends. I'm going to try to help him out with quitting. I felt like I'd never get to where I am now with my level of benzo (and other downer) use but I was making the mistake of reducing my dose too fast. I've been doing it really slowly for a long time, save for 2 or 3 months where I started abusing the hell out of them again. I think now I could stop using benzos on a daily basis and maybe use some phenibut and Lyrica for a month or so in their place and be off of them. I think I can help him quit since I seem to have finally got that right. He feels kind of hopeless about it and is afraid of dying from withdrawal but I think he is trying to quit too fast like I had done a number of times (then I said fuck it and gave up because it seemed like I'd never be able to do it).
He has some friends I don't want to be around though because they are bigots (I don't think he is. I know he is friends with a gay father and son and he thinks same-sex marriage should be legal. He said that when talking to my mom. I think when he was acting like a bigot he was just going along with his friends, something I am guilty of, I just did not say the things but saying yeah or I know or Uh-Huh is really no different) and one of his friends traps animals and was laughing about a raccoon drowning when it got caught in his trap - I don't tolerate that kind of thing and if that guy is there I will leave; I can't stand such people.
Both of my friends hunt deer and wild hogs and I am fine with them doing that (it is a more humane way of getting meat than buying it at the store and unfortunately there is an exploding population of wild hogs causing environmental damage and it has to be controlled, and when a population of deer exceeds the carrying capacity of the area you end up with mass starvation, sometimes 90% or more along with other species impacted when deer eat and destroy all the vegetation they can reach; all the predators that would keep the population in balance are gone here so sometimes that is probably necessary as much as I don't like killing, and most hunters want to kill the healthier deer so that is bad for their genetics. It is better than supporting factory farms[I don't eat meat so I don't support those farms]) but I will not be friends with or hang out with people who like to kill animals for fur or trophies (unless I think I could eventually get them to stop) and anyone who thinks that kind of thing is funny is extremely sadistic in my opinion.
As for me, I had no human friends after age 11 until I was in the looney bin last time. I did make up a story here about an acquaintance I did business with after they helped me out when I needed someone who knew Chinese saying that we were great friends but I only did that so the people here would be happy for me instead of feeling bad because I had so much trouble and unhappiness. I shouldn't have done that but I was just trying to say/do something nice for anyone who might give a fuck about me (I did not know there was more than two people who really gave very much of a fuck and I wasn't quite sure about them but it seems like I was wrong about that) I am not able to act quite normal and I think it is due to a long period of social isolation. I did not really know how to make friends and when I'd try it seemed like the other person would just want to kind of ditch me before I could get to know them at all. Maybe I can learn how to act normal if this guy is not just telling me what he needs to say to resume taking advantage of me like he has been for a long time.
My other friend lives a long way away and only comes to my town once every couple of months. It is disappointing to see he was drinking again with his severe liver damage The docs have told him he would not last long if he drinks and he should already be dead after colliding with an 18-wheeler because his blood ammonia level was too high (I'll take his word he wasn't intoxicated - that can cause loss of consciousness and it happens to people with severe liver damage). I've tried to get him to stop the alcohol and just use other things, even told him I'd try to find an alternative with similar effects that isn't so hard on the liver). He has stage 4 cirrhosis. He has a Hepatitis C infection and his doctor is giving/going to give him something that could cure that and it might allow his liver to improve some. Maybe I should be calling him more. He almost never calls me. Maybe it would help get him to listen if he feels like other people are concerned enough, I do not know how many friends he has and whether or not they ever get on his case about his drinking. I'm not being an asshole about it or anything but he is drinking every time I've seen him. He tells me it is just for the special occasion because I'm seeing him/he's seeing his brother and I and it kind of makes me feel like shit to think he might be doing it because we are hanging out, but I think he is just using it as an excuse because I've told him I don't drink very much and I'd rather not be drinking with him - that we can do other things.
But if I am going to keep him as a friend he is going to have to accept that I have different political views than him because his favorite thing to talk about is politics but he has said various people have no right to bother him by espousing various views and beliefs he considers un-American so I just went along with him because he was pretty much saying people with beliefs I hold should keep their mouths shut (kind of ironic, freedom of speech is a constitutional right and not supporting that really is un-American but I did not bother to tell him - he has some alcoholic brain damage and I don't want to make him feel stupid. Lucky that crash didn't damage his brain, he seems to be the same as before mentally).
I can't get much out of a relationship if the other person is free to speak their mind and I feel I have to keep my opinions to myself and go along with his - it really turns into a source of pain and anger and I'd much prefer to spend that time with my pets instead. I'm sure everyone thinks I care about them too much but I do not care what anyone else thinks. I did not want to be friendless [and I consider my pets as friends even if others think that is ridiculous, so I always had them, but I do want some human friends. I thought I was incapable of feeling any friendship with other people, like that part of me was dead, but I stopped feeling that way recently and now I feel like the guy I just smoked meth with is actually my friend, but I hope he is not just playing me for a fool and telling me that like he has so many times - it felt different this time but maybe he just said what he knew he needed to say when I told him how he kept making me feel. I hope he is not just fucking with my emotions so he can resume taking advantage of me later.] but I am not going to pretend to be someone I am not so he'll like me - if I am not being myself his friend is someone who doesn't even exist and it is emotionally painful to me to be in that situation and wrong of me to deceive him. And it is not fair for him to freely speak his mind while I am made to feel like I have no right to disagree. I kind of feel bad for shit talking him in a really bad way. He has pretty much invited me to go on a trip to Galveston in a few months and that is a place I have wanted to visit for a long time. But I don't want to go with him unless he can get to know the real me and accept me for that. I don't want to hang out with someone if I think they might hate me if they really knew me anyway and I should give him the chance to love, hate, or not be around me instead of assuming he'd hate me because of things he has said since he did not know at times he was talking about me without even knowing it. Hell, he sees me as a friend so it might change his outlook on groups he's said hateful things about and thinks should legally be discriminated against. If we can be friends, good. If that could help him become more tolerant, even better - plenty of folks become more tolerant when they find they have friends or family belonging to a group they are biased against. Better to try and see if he can accept me for who I am and maybe at some point he'd become more tolerant. Probably good for society if those who are tolerant of other groups try to make friends of bigots, they could help them become more tolerant and if the tolerant try to be tolerant enough of the bigots to be their friends it would have a positive impact on society as a whole.
I'm hoping to go to his place in a couple of weeks so we can trip and so we can shoot targets with his guns (I won't shoot myself, don't worry. Never plan to do anything to kill myself again). That should be fun. Maybe we'll have some 5-MAPB or MXP with whatever he has and I can spend the weekend. He is out in the country with over 20 acres of land and I've never been there. Should be a great place to trip! And I'll bring my camera, sounds like I may be able to get some good photos. Maybe it won't be too wet. It has rained over 13 inches where I live this month and it has probably been just about as wet there, maybe wetter. But it did put the drought that had been in place for the last five years or so to an end. I hope it stops raining for a while now, I can't get some business I need taken care of done until it dries out. It is really delaying things.
I remember when I went to his other place the first time when he lived closer and he let me shoot his gun. First time I ever fired one. Then we smoked weed. I kept smoking after he stopped, and then he wanted me to go with him in his truck. I got really paranoid thinking "Oh my God, he is a murderer, that is why he wanted me to spend the weekend and now he is trying to take me away somewhere to shoot me." He wanted me to go somewhere the next day and I was stoned then too and I got all paranoid with the same idea and would not go with him (I pretended to almost fall so He'd think I was too stoned) and I went back home later that day. He's not going to kill me. I don't know why the fuck I kept thinking that then - pretty much everyone in this region has a gun and I did not think that when he let me fire it but I was freaking out inside when he wanted me to go with him - and I did not know if he'd use the gun or a knife. I stayed awake all night thinking he might try to kill me in my sleep. So fucking paranoid and he did not do anything to deserve me thinking those things.
There is this woman I chatted online with who for some reason seems to possibly be interested in me. Not sure why the fuck she'd be interested in someone like me - I am pretty ugly and she is pretty hot. She said she did not think I was ugly. She would for sure if she saw me naked. I also have a smaller than average cock. I haven't talked about that. She knows I've never been in love but she doesn't know I am a virgin (I don't think trying to give a blowjob and not being able to finish counts as losing your virginity). Maybe I should tell her I had sex with a prostitute when I was 20. I did get set up with a hooker once but I chickened out on actual sex so just got a handjob and we got high on mephedrone but she still got paid for what we were supposed to do. I'm not sure if that would be a good idea. It would probably be a turnoff but a 32 year old virgin would probably be a turn off too. Not like there is any significant chance we'll ever hook up anyway. I only talked once for about an hour but she wants to talk more. Maybe she'll be available for a chat tonight. If not, I'll try to chat with her tomorrow.
Well, there was a pretty long meth rant. I think I might have pissed off one of the moderators here (did not get a warning, just seems they don't want to talk to me anymore and we used to message each other but now they must think I am an asshole or something. Not gonna be an asshole and say who it is, maybe they are just too busy to fuck around with things like that but I am pretty sure they think I am just a bad guy now. Guess I should just forget about that - if that is the case, I think they are wrong but that is only my opinion).
If anyone here has tried THJ-018 and JWH-018, could you tell me if THJ-018 is similar and as good as JWH-018 or if you've tried THJ-018 and 5-F-APINACA/5-F-AKB48 which of those two you liked best? There are so many cannabinoids out there now and not much info on a lot of them. The only one I am willing to use at the moment that is available if 5-F-APINACA/5-F-AKB48 because I have lots of experience with it and it is just as good as weed in my opinion but I have an interest in THJ-018. One person wrote somewhere it was not as good as JWH-018 but that is one person. I'm afraid to try any cannabinoid I haven't tried unless there is lots of info available because AB-CHMINACA caused me severe hypotension, as low as 60something/42 from what I remember - smoking 3mg produced only fairly mild effects that were brief and I decided to do an oral dose - it usually takes several times as much that way and 3mg was mild so I did 21mg. It didn't even make me feel all that stoned, just more sedated and weak. I'm pretty much afraid of most synthetic cannabinoids now.
When I ordered that AB-CHMINACA, the info about there being a number of deaths and people having seizures and psychotic episodes was not there but it is now and that is one I hope nobody reading this will try (and if you already have it, maybe it would be one to throw away). It needs to be pulled from the market, it is too dangerous but apparently some would rather keep selling that poison that take a loss on that one thing. And as far as I am concerned, that one is more of a poison than a recreational drug.
Does anyone think it would be a good idea to write up a short trip report to put here and send to Erowid to maybe warn others away from that? It would mostly consist of talking about sitting in front of the ER and repeatedly passing out while my blood pressure is being monitored so someone could have them bring me a wheelchair (or stretcher if I passed out and did not wake up) and then fighting for a couple of hours to keep my blood pressure from getting lower/raise it some while sitting there when it got so low they started urging me to go ahead in - at that point I was going in if I could not get it up some, keep it up, and stay awake. Really just about the negative effects, I wasn't paying much attention to anything other than trying to stay awake and keep myself moving. I think reports like that would be appreciated but if not, no need to waste their time by sending them something to read they don't want.
Now taking another big hit on the meth pipe when I hit submit
Sure talked about a lot of different shit, meth gets me doing that...guess that is entirely normal.
Update:
Well, he never did call for me to come and he never came over. He said he'd do one of the two. I hope he just did not have the weed. I'm sure he didn't go to sleep...
Hope like hell he isn't intentionally lying to me (he has done that so many times before and I did give him some xanax after we finished hanging - I'd be an idiot to blindly trust him until he shows me he isn't just being nice once so he can worm his way in and use me some more, I've put up with him doing that enough - now I am not going to put up with it again, he needs to start keeping his word. I have never told him I'd do anything I did not do). In a couple of hours I'll see if he's home and see what's up if he hasn't left for work and I think I'll ask for a shard. I don't want to go to sleep today, I've been going to sleep near or after sunrise and waking up really late in the day and I want to reset my sleep cycle. If I can't get a little, I'll be wanting to go to sleep probably in the afternoon - too early but I'll just make myself stay awake if I can'r get a little shard for energy [and it will feel good too].
Update: I asked him for a shard before he left for work and he told me he was only working for two hours and then he'd give it to me. I did get it after six hours and I was about to complain about him lying to me again when he could have just said no (not like I'd get mad or keep pushing him to do it). But I did get it, so I am happy. He owes me $30 for my old digital camera so I'll have to see if he pays for it. If he doesn't, I know where he lives and I can go take that back but maybe I can trust him now. Now I am about to smoke a really big hit of meth. And then another. Then another. Then another after that
I'm going to be so high...
I also had 5g each of red, white, and green kratom strains about two hours ago along with 0.5mg clonazepam and 450mg phenibut.
Final update:Coming down bad from that meth, I bet I am going to regret doing it. Damnit. I hope I don't feel like dying tomorrow (not that I would do anything to make it happen) and I sure fuckin' hope it doesn't fuck my mood up for a week or a month and ruin a good period that seemed to have been developing well. For now I am going to alleviate this misery with 30mg hydrocodone potentiated with 300mg ketoconazole, 30mg temazepam, 50mg cyclobenzaprine, 50mg diphenhydramine, and 3.25ml 1,4-butanediol. In addition to the worsening mood my head is throbbing and my neck aches like all fuck. I sure hope I feel better tomorrow and don't get stuck in this sucky ass state.
Goodnight Bluelight, badnight me.
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neurotic
Bluelighter
just put two tabs of acid under tha tongue
see ya later brosss gnight!
see ya later brosss gnight!
TheRapperGoneBad
Bluelighter
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
Huh, another sleepless night after rationalising vaping yet more 3-FPM late last night.
My visual perception is fucked, as it commonly becomes after prolonged sleep deprivation - anything in the peripheral field appears to be vibrating rather erratically, along with an odd orange-green colour overlaying it all.
Absolutely zero 'shadow people'/paranoid hallucinations so the weirdness is quite enjoyable, in some way.
My visual perception is fucked, as it commonly becomes after prolonged sleep deprivation - anything in the peripheral field appears to be vibrating rather erratically, along with an odd orange-green colour overlaying it all.
Absolutely zero 'shadow people'/paranoid hallucinations so the weirdness is quite enjoyable, in some way.
Tryptamine*Dreamer
Ex-Bluelighter
Fuck, I am still awake. But I am not miserable any more so I don't think I have to worry about that meth fucking up my mood for even a few days. But I am about to have another 3ml 1,4-butanediol and 100mg quietiapine/Seroquel+30mg temazepam+600mg phenibut to see if I can make myself sleep. I have been awake longer than I'd like.
But not nearly as long as you, SproutOnSmack. I think I'd be going completely or at least partially nuts after that many hours awake. I start losing it by the time I've been awake a week even if I have nothing to keep me awake but insomnia and I would guess doing lots of stimulants to stay awake that long would fuck with my head even more. Don't know how some people tolerate doing that but it seems you like what it does to you. I suppose it can be fun up to a point sometimes (but I haven't used stims to stay awake more than maybe 3 days and nights straight that I remember so maybe the weirdness is better if you do a long stimulant binge to stay awake).
But not nearly as long as you, SproutOnSmack. I think I'd be going completely or at least partially nuts after that many hours awake. I start losing it by the time I've been awake a week even if I have nothing to keep me awake but insomnia and I would guess doing lots of stimulants to stay awake that long would fuck with my head even more. Don't know how some people tolerate doing that but it seems you like what it does to you. I suppose it can be fun up to a point sometimes (but I haven't used stims to stay awake more than maybe 3 days and nights straight that I remember so maybe the weirdness is better if you do a long stimulant binge to stay awake).
Methacodone
Bluelighter
80mg Methadone
90mg Oxycodone
6mg Dilaudid, plugged
3mg Clonazepam
900mg Gabapentin
100mg Hydroxyzine
10mg Lexapro
Caffeine
These waves of euphoria from nodding to stimulation is my favorite feeling in the world!!
when I sit down and chill I nod.
When I stand up and do thing I'm stimulated.
God I love opiates! pin-pointed~~
90mg Oxycodone
6mg Dilaudid, plugged
3mg Clonazepam
900mg Gabapentin
100mg Hydroxyzine
10mg Lexapro
Caffeine
These waves of euphoria from nodding to stimulation is my favorite feeling in the world!!
when I sit down and chill I nod.
When I stand up and do thing I'm stimulated.
God I love opiates! pin-pointed~~
phatass
Bluelighter
Are you on MMT "Methacodone"?
i think chronic methadone use especially from 80mg's, binds so strongly to the "kappa mu" opiod receptors saturating most of the receptors are "saturated", preventing from getting any effects from the oxy, dilly or whatever other opioid/opiate's one might take whilst on MMT (Chronic/daily methadone use) ?
... no offence OP but can someone help me understand...Thanks
OT:
- popped 0.75 mg Xanax at 11:10pm
- plugged 80mg Ritalin at 11:20pm
- Smoked ab-fubininaca at 11:30pm
- popped 4mg Victan at 11:40pm
- Smoked THJ-018 at 11:45pm
- plugged 80mg Ritalin at 00:15am
- popped 2mg Loprazolam at 00:20am
- popped 20mg Valiumz at 00:25am
very poor man "pseudo-speedballing" for "phatty "lol %) so yeah i'm higher than a bird, a plane or someone going "insane in the membrane".
got 50mg promethazine, 300mg codeine and various 'Zo's for later in a few hours, with a strong ab-fubinaca shmoke
much
ykm420
Bluelighter
Drunk on BZD's. On the 4th, AdderRAW season bb.
SirTophamHat
Bluelighter
Grapefruit, 5mg valium, ec stack. Aggravated an old back injury earlier today and its killing me, figuratively. Right now I'm decently buzzin at work, just wanna finish and go home lol.
Time to put on some downtempo and relax for a bit in the (my) back office, away from patrons, and listen to some YouTubes n watch the security cameras
Time to put on some downtempo and relax for a bit in the (my) back office, away from patrons, and listen to some YouTubes n watch the security cameras
Ds
Bluelight Crew
God damn you know the people who just got high on meth lmao.
I'm methd out,no more amps for a while, I gota let the nose and brain heal some. Shit has been hurting me,stressing my body to breaking point trying to work and stay awake long ass hours.
So been smoking weed virtuallyal day at work, and off work, now coping a couple roxy30s, then gonna call it a night.
I'm methd out,no more amps for a while, I gota let the nose and brain heal some. Shit has been hurting me,stressing my body to breaking point trying to work and stay awake long ass hours.
So been smoking weed virtuallyal day at work, and off work, now coping a couple roxy30s, then gonna call it a night.
ykm420
Bluelighter
D's, gemme 3x30's. I'll pay you back ! Mas, we gettin' shitty with that broj TRGB in a few months, prepare for the worst !
! Mas, we gettin' shitty with that broj TRGB in a few months, prepare for the worst !
Ds
Bluelight Crew
D's, gemme 3x30's. I'll pay you back
Dude wish you could come up here in Seattle and kick it. I got my own hotel room, so if you ever make your way out here your welcome to crash on my sofa.
Yea the roxy30s go like hotcakes.everyone i know would much perfer a pill rather then boi,girl, or meth. Normal price roxy30s,schwag price topshelf weed, and stupid low prices on meth .. Find a job here man and ud be set lol.
ykm420
Bluelighter
Hahahahaha, I should be in Seattle in 2 months, D! It's on n poppin..Dude wish you could come up here in Seattle and kick it. I got my own hotel room, so if you ever make your way out here your welcome to crash on my sofa.
Yea the roxy30s go like hotcakes.everyone i know would much perfer a pill rather then boi,girl, or meth. Normal price roxy30s,schwag price topshelf weed, and stupid low prices on meth .. Find a job here man and ud be set lol.
Tryptamine*Dreamer
Ex-Bluelighter
Had 15g of kratom, 1mg clonazepam, 1mg alprazolam, and 200mg queitiapine/Seroquel. Now I am going to bed.
I got two hours of sleep early afternoon and that's all since I did the meth. It doesn't seem to have fucked up my mood in any major way. It was bad for a while on the comedown and is just a little off now, but I think I'll be pretty much back to where I was after I sleep.
I'll just take a guess - insane in the membrane was meant for me. Yeah, I was way too amped. I don't do stimulants much and I dosed too high. Should have stopped typing but just kept on adding to that rant, and making some other smaller ones in various other places. I'd go delete it, but it has already been seen so what is the point of doing that now? It is a little late for that.
I got two hours of sleep early afternoon and that's all since I did the meth. It doesn't seem to have fucked up my mood in any major way. It was bad for a while on the comedown and is just a little off now, but I think I'll be pretty much back to where I was after I sleep.
I'll just take a guess - insane in the membrane was meant for me. Yeah, I was way too amped. I don't do stimulants much and I dosed too high. Should have stopped typing but just kept on adding to that rant, and making some other smaller ones in various other places. I'd go delete it, but it has already been seen so what is the point of doing that now? It is a little late for that.
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neurotic
Bluelighter
Ds
Bluelight Crew
Hell yea man! U gotta hit me up!!
Methacodone
Bluelighter
Are you on MMT "Methacodone"?
i think chronic methadone use especially from 80mg's, binds so strongly to the "kappa mu" opiod receptors saturating most of the receptors are "saturated", preventing from getting any effects from the oxy, dilly or whatever other opioid/opiate's one might take whilst on MMT (Chronic/daily methadone use) ?
Thanks
Yes I am, actually.
Many people have told me that, but I've been on Methadone for 3+ years, the first year to a year and a half that would happen to me, I wouldn't feel any other opiate on top of my dose from 'done.
But a little after that, I would feel my opiates just as much if not more than when I wasn't on Methadone. I feel every/any opiate very well now.
To me Methadone is VERY euphoric by itself. But now when I add other strong opiates on top, exactly like Oxycodone and Dilaudid, I get an insane high.
You know, Methadone 'blocking' other opiates is a placebo, right?
It's just Methadone is SO powerful, it's very hard to get high on other opiates.
But once you've been on methadone for a good amount of time, your body is very used to the substance and it gets much easier to feel other opiates.
Well, that's how it went for me. I never have a problem getting high while on Methadone now.
OT-
80mg Methadone, plugged
120mg Morphine, plugged
8mg Dilaudid, plugged
3mg Clonazepam
900mg Gabapentin
100mg Hydroxyzine
10mg Lexapro
DAMN, this is the 1st time I tried this, I added all my opiates in 1 oral rig, and plugged them, after just a couple mins, WAVES of amazing Euphoria are just swimming inside of me.
Morphine and Dilaudid are really the only 2 opiates that get me nodding hard. Adding them together, along with Methadone, HOLY SHIT. This is probably the best opiate high I've had in years!
HAPPY NODDING!
ykm420
Bluelighter
- Status