30ml 2-methyly-2-butanol (A high dose), 120mg temazepam, 150mg picamilon, 900mg phenibut, 450mg lyrica, 60mg hydrocodone, 150md diphenhydramine, and I know a couple of other thinggs I can't remember. It is hard to walk. I started trying to sell shit on eBay. I broke this elephant figuurine that I could have got $160-200+S&H for along with several other less valuable items. I dropped another elephant candlee holder worth over $200 (I brought out a fairly large collection of animal figures, many elephants) but it was a metal candle holder so it did not break, but it did break a cow cookie jar worth $60-$80 so I decided I was too fucked up to risk destroying anymore valuable items I got for almost nothing. I guerss I deserve to fuck up and fail in this endless hellscape. I should suffer and everything I lovr dhould die so I will be alone. There is no way any of you can poossibly understand the magnitude of the pain I have comind to me that I should feel in an endless fashion. You may have a delusion that I aam not such a bad guy - some people seem to be under that delusion, but I will try to show you the truth when I regain the mental capacity. I am going to drink more 2-methyl-2-butanol with 6mg alprazolam and lay with lucky. I hope I pass out and he consumes my face but the previous times I have passed out on his bed he was really nice to me. There is a difference this time. I am radiating the evil darkness that is buried deep inside me. Even my own mother can see it, though she tries to make me feel better with her words of denial and bullshit about how I can make the world a better place for animals. This world is going to hrll. Any of you who are delusional enough to think you can improve Hellscape Earth would be better off committing suicide or going to s mrntsl instituution where maybe someone with the ability to think rationaly can tslk some sense into your foolish head.
We are all in Hell now. Most of us are just to damn stupid to see that. It would probably be better to take all the drugs I have if it was likely to kill me but there is no escape from Hell. It just never ends and I guess I accept that now, Fuck life, fuck death, fuck, god, and fuck all of you who may not even be real. Maybe you are all just part of the same worthless evil monstrous God torturing me just because it brings you pleasure or I did something unspwakably horriffic that you have erased from my mind so I don't even get to know why I am being punished. Go ahead and take everything away that I love or I have been made delusional enough to believe I love so I will be alojne in this Hell. Make me suffer more.
