Binged speed for three nights straight, I only came home for about an hour each day to shower & change.
On the third night, I was so fucked up from sleep deprivation & the speed that I was hardly able to form correct sentences anymore. I felt retarded as hell, and physically drained. But still well enough to find me an xtc pill-vendor, and ending my binge with a bang. I remembered from days long gone how xtc felt after 1 night without any sleep while getting f*cked on speed, and remembered liking it alot. (Always got my speed at least 1 day before a party, and back then I couldn't keep myself from 'starting early' So I figured why not. I wasn't really able to think it through either.) Of course I was lucky enough to find my first really high-quality pill in years. I had bought some from the same guys before, so I expected the quality he usually sells. I don't bother with xtc normally when it's that bad. So, this stuff's quality came to me like a total surprise, one of THOSE is enough, period. And it hitting me this hard had nothing to do with my binge. It takes a strong roll, or a load of weak rolls to feel like that. I didn't feel anything from the last 3 days anymore, just that I was rolling really, really hard.
Most people I know find the state of mind you get after the 1st night on speed with no sleep unbearable, which keeps them from binging. But.. I used to do stupid shit like this 24/7 when I was younger and badly addicted to speed. Kinda taught myself how to ignore the "I feel like shit" part, and enjoy the trippyness sleep deprivation causes. Didn't have any intention of going on this binge the first night. But then I remembered it was a mate's birthday when I came home the next day, it had to be celebrated. And I wasn't gonna be tired as hell while doing so, which is the reason I decided to just go on, even afterwards, and just get as fucked up as I could, the "nostalgia" I felt after night 2 was enough to persuade me.
Binge over now, and I just woke up after 5 hours of sleep. (I can't sleep during the day, nomatter how tired I am)
After the third night, I always feel like I'm at my limit. I remembered why last night. :D
Thank god I saved my last clonazepam for today's crash. I'm gonna be taking tilidine along with 2mgs of clonazepam later on to ease the crash. I haven't used my pain meds daily in a while (better said, a few days) for a change so I think it'll be of great use to me today.
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Next time I want to feel like that (slightly out of my mind, haha) without uncomfortable body effects and tiredness, I'll just take acid, lol.