how drugs is nothing to addicts like ourselves..

[XThexXTank]

I feel ya dawg. I eat drugs by the handful without blinking. Not giving of fuck who it affects in the process. I told my doc that im never getting off suboxone because i would use again. No reason to lie i said i take drugs because i like being high. Sure i got my own fucked up problems but that aint the reason why i do what i do. She told me i was a 'pure' addict, whatever the fuck that means.

Alotta people try an point fingers. An this is where these motherfuckers just piss me off. I mean even my parents, theres allways that 'bad influence' or something that just went wrong that made me get high. Like me and im pretty sure many others, were not fuckin puppets of our environment. Theres nothing wrong for a man to want to get high. You see people like us are strong. We don't need drugs to feel good and go through our day w/out the bullshit flooding in. The only addiction is the addiction to getting high and that shits pure. And im high as fuck right now haha have a nice day %)

 

[Burnt Offerings]

Yeah I hate it when people try to find some "reason" behind my drug use. My reasons for using drugs are banal: getting high is fun. I like to have fun; therefore I like getting high. I don't sink into crushing depression or anything when I don't have drugs...my baseline mood is pretty normal and healthy. It's just that teh droogz make everything even better.

I'm lucky though, in that whenever drugs stop being fun (for whatever reason), I'll simply stop using them. A lot of people seem to go well beyond that point, or at least the fun they have from drugs seems to completely eclipse the fun they glean from any other aspect of life.

 

[southeast]

You make it sound like physical dependence doesn't make it hard to stop. Uhm, if only you could just realize it were a problem and just quit. Are you kidding around? Or you've never gotten a real addiction? 'Cause you're talking nonsense.

 

[szuko000]

Nah I'm not like that at all. Basically I like being high as much as I like being sober. When life comes around I adjust to the situation.

Drank a pint of vodka daily for 2 years; stopped after I got AP in front of a new girlfriend. Scared the shit out of her promised never to do it again.

Shot heroin daily for 1.5 years; quit when I was bored with the scene got off my subs in 6 months been off all opiates for a year, no biggie.

Smoked weed daily on and off on and off since I was 15 haven't had it in 2 weeks meh.

When I get sold bad crack I try to remind myself I'd be coming down if the crack wasn't complete garbage sure I got ripped off for 20 but now I'm sober and not shitty, see its not so bad.

Basically for me it's about weighing all the factors and applying the senarios to my use. Granted those rules about loving sobriety did not apply on heroin, I needed heroin to go to work being sober was NOT an option. But now I am thankful for any moment in my life be it sober or not happy or sad they are all part of this experience and thus equally as important/meaningful

 

[The Doc.]

like the original poster..i feel the same way as you both..but i don't think its a good thing

Care to elaborate?

 

[The Doc.]

Nah I'm not like that at all. Basically I like being high as much as I like being sober. When life comes around I adjust to the situation.

Drank a pint of vodka daily for 2 years; stopped after I got AP in front of a new girlfriend. Scared the shit out of her promised never to do it again.

Shot heroin daily for 1.5 years; quit when I was bored with the scene got off my subs in 6 months been off all opiates for a year, no biggie.

Smoked weed daily on and off on and off since I was 15 haven't had it in 2 weeks meh.

When I get sold bad crack I try to remind myself I'd be coming down if the crack wasn't complete garbage sure I got ripped off for 20 but now I'm sober and not shitty, see its not so bad.

Basically for me it's about weighing all the factors and applying the senarios to my use. Granted those rules about loving sobriety did not apply on heroin, I needed heroin to go to work being sober was NOT an option. But now I am thankful for any moment in my life be it sober or not happy or sad they are all part of this experience and thus equally as important/meaningful

Some people are like that don't have addictive personality's or whatever you want to call that "addict gene" but it can still happen to anybody where ethey dig themselves into a pit of dispair because we don't know where we will be in life in ten years or 5 years.

 

[Screaming_Skull]

I've always had a drug problem since I was kid I think. One of my parents used to get these nasal spray things your just suppose spray once or twice, I loved those fuckers when I was 11. I would just spray and spray in my nose and it was like nitrous exect seemed to last longer and would just feel like your sinking and if you were listening to muisc it like it would get stuck in a loop..dont know what that shit was... drinked 1st time was 12, weed 13,benzo's 14 15-17 benzos and getting plastered everynight( by myself w/ other people) also played around with Lortabs/Percocets in HS from people that would get em' from surgery or steal from rents..18 I started taking Handuflls of Lortab when I could and would get those 40mg Methadone Wafers when I couldn't afford those(I miss those things!) then moved had no connects this was when the ebay poppy thing was really big so tossed and washed those like crazy(really bad withdrawls compared to Lortab/Percocet) quit everything for a second but started drinking alot again. Started chipping with pills agian, then got back on Pods again, then started shooting Roxies/Dillies, now on Bupe. I feel like I will never be 'sober' and don't really want to be honestly. Luckily I haven't gotten in trouble with the law, got on bupe when I saw stuff like that coming in the near future..

 

[dirzted]

I totally get what you mean BostonBrown, i remember when i was using if i didn't do my "main" drugs than i was techinically "clean" in my own mind. Like if i didn't do speed or heroin than i was sober.

I remember that came crashing down one day after i looked back on the day as "clean" yet i had taken Valium, gabapentin, codeine/promethazine syrup, and ambien- I finally stopped and realized that was probably more drugs/more detrimental to my body than my normal doses of speed and opiates!

Addiction is a DISEASE though, remember that, not for justification, but explanation...

 

[Joker11789]

@joker11789 yea, I'm with you. End prohibition, put more money into harm reduction, information access, rehabilitation, safe regulation, etc. This is the kind of research I do, so I agree times a million. And everyone who disagrees with me gets pretty frustrated with me when I say stuff about it, because I'm a repetitively relapsing heroin addict BUT nothing could be truer to me. Let me do what the hell I want, it's my body, the drug war is failing and letting us die.
I think people can get pretty affected by the negatives of addiction to not see this view. Probably a POV thing for now, but I'm with ya for sure.

Good now only 200000 ppl more and we can get this going ..it would actually help in ways people over look too like I said how yes there'd still be crack but they're not going to rob these stores and they'd produce jobs and tax (look at weed in was it just Colorado where they made $1m? Or maybe more in a year in tax just on weed ...not sure if it wasn't a bigger number honestly) .

So real druggies could get real help and less stigma ..when I say real I actually mean the sick who can't handle life or whatever..you think social stigma helps? Lol but that's our system right now ...we can fix this and crime would drop..

noticed you you had a DUI ? Seems we share that in common to my passenger hit me idk why (he blames the pcp ..BS) my eyes closed for a brief second doing 70+ where I shouldn't be (drunk , pcp,weed,addys,out all night from 7am-2am , various pills as always lol .drank all day too and no food ) .... Car flipped but the passengers eye fell out for a min (never saw it he was laid out ) I broke my collar bone and that's all ...

(Worst part is I was celebrating my release from probation it ended that day no visit needed this time either so I felt so good until the crash of course) .

but MADD ? They have a deal with the gov..they get money every visit and all this BS ..

anyway with ith drugs ...it only sounds bad to people because sort of like you said (POV) mixed with just the stigma of the drugs ...makes them hard headed and unwilling to see what we're saying unfortunately ..

legalize everything also would help other countries , slow down some serious crime like mules who get kidnapped by rival gangs and gutted or mules used once as they're dead bodies filled with product and shipped to who ever ..

^ instead we'd have more people happy , maybe we all shouldn't drive as much lol but we'd all be happier and maybe we'd all get along better at least (no more oh they're druggies BS in schools etc etc ...) also it wouldn't be "cool" as ppl claim to do drugs since they'd be legal so it'd be less tempting I guess ?(idk I'm sure you're like me and most of us are ..we just like them nothing to do with anything else high=happy/fun etc..) .

Truly , when thought out pros v cons ..there's probably a good 50 more reasons that are HUGE to legalize to every one bad reason (black market weed was winning still for awhile I think ?..price ..but oh well ).

 

[Joker11789]

I totally get what you mean BostonBrown, i remember when i was using if i didn't do my "main" drugs than i was techinically "clean" in my own mind. Like if i didn't do speed or heroin than i was sober.

I remember that came crashing down one day after i looked back on the day as "clean" yet i had taken Valium, gabapentin, codeine/promethazine syrup, and ambien- I finally stopped and realized that was probably more drugs/more detrimental to my body than my normal doses of speed and opiates!

Addiction is a DISEASE though, remember that, not for justification, but explanation...

Agreed addiction is a disease and explains behaviors or reasoning of an addict ..it doesn't make them ok or bad ppl just need help , help that maybe real research could provide but idk what that would take .

 

[southeast]

The problem in researching opiated addiction in my experience is mostly people don't give a damn about drug addicts so the funding is hard. Also gaining any real statistics is difficult because most addicts don't have consistent phones, houses, etc. so it's hard to look at much over time. If you've ever been in a needle exchange near a graduate program there are often people trying to gain quantitative or qualitative information but addicts are distrustful. And in science fields I always hear there is no funding- there was an incredible study that people were hoping would open people's eyes to how it's a sickness with crazy statistics over the number of addicts who were dead from drug related issues within five years BUT the stigma is strong so do far nada. Except people talking film theory I don't see tons of movement at least in the US. Sadness.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

You make it sound like physical dependence doesn't make it hard to stop. Uhm, if only you could just realize it were a problem and just quit. Are you kidding around? Or you've never gotten a real addiction? 'Cause you're talking nonsense.

I've probably never gotten a "real addiction". But what a "real addiction" is...that sounds like a subjective value judgment. Have I experienced withdrawal symptoms after stopping use of a certain substance? Yeah. Are thoughts of a specific substance or substances frequently on my mind? Yeah. But have I sank into the lower realms of drug addiction? No, not yet. Maybe someday though.

 

[Joker11789]

The problem in researching opiated addiction in my experience is mostly people don't give a damn about drug addicts so the funding is hard. Also gaining any real statistics is difficult because most addicts don't have consistent phones, houses, etc. so it's hard to look at much over time. If you've ever been in a needle exchange near a graduate program there are often people trying to gain quantitative or qualitative information but addicts are distrustful. And in science fields I always hear there is no funding- there was an incredible study that people were hoping would open people's eyes to how it's a sickness with crazy statistics over the number of addicts who were dead from drug related issues within five years BUT the stigma is strong so do far nada. Except people talking film theory I don't see tons of movement at least in the US. Sadness.

I think it's more the researchers who are assigned to develop whatever to help addiction figure they're poison is better than what ever poison the druggies choose but yeah I guarantee some don't care ..the stigma of being a drug addict will take a long time for ppl to move on with and some people can't get over fake "stigmas"(racism) yet/still so it'll take a long time but maybe the stoners can help out without knowing it ? ...weed hit big and will only get bigger ..the plants coke and dope come from are just as or almost as useful as a weed plant ..different types of pain meds or things like lidocaine etc etc ...

 

[southeast]

@burntofferings yea, I didn't mean that mean, I've just read way too much junk about how you can just take 3 days off work and then suddenly your fine. Nonsense. There is no real addiction, I meant more like it doesn't sound like you've experienced a very detrimental withdrawal I mean I'm over three weeks clean and my body still feels like shit, my anxiety is out of control, and I can't fucking sleep.
@joker11789 I'm sure your right... I'm in theoretical sociology/ philosophy and I'm one person I'm sure there's tons preventing shit like this from getting done. And fuck yes weed is going to help-- people want money when they realize the billions each state can make from regulating everything I think things will change... Slowly.

 

[Joker11789]

@burntofferings yea, I didn't mean that mean, I've just read way too much junk about how you can just take 3 days off work and then suddenly your fine. Nonsense. There is no real addiction, I meant more like it doesn't sound like you've experienced a very detrimental withdrawal I mean I'm over three weeks clean and my body still feels like shit, my anxiety is out of control, and I can't fucking sleep.
@joker11789 I'm sure your right... I'm in theoretical sociology/ philosophy and I'm one person I'm sure there's tons preventing shit like this from getting done. And fuck yes weed is going to help-- people want money when they realize the billions each state can make from regulating everything I think things will change... Slowly.

Agreed ..not just money though..senators or vacations for states etc (ok money but not directly from weed but bc ppl go there for vacation and weed or like the senator more bc he's ok with weed etc ..) .

 

[szuko000]

Some people are like that don't have addictive personality's or whatever you want to call that "addict gene" but it can still happen to anybody where ethey dig themselves into a pit of dispair because we don't know where we will be in life in ten years or 5 years.

True, I'm just a little confused you did read the whole "daily shooting dope for 1.5 years" right? Just wondering because I was fully addicted and went on subs for 8 months to straighten my life. Just confused as to how that phrase applied to me lol. Addiction can happen to anyone and I don't know how I feel about a genetic predisposition, it almost seeks to remove personal responsibility. I believe we all choose or choose not to use, be it some disease or gene related thing we all choose to do it. Personal choices define how you use not your family history or past, sure they effect it but they don't cause it.

 

[sekio]

od -> tds

 

[Jabberwocky]

After a 2nd+ DUI aren't you going to now be on rigid probation? Random drug testing? I got my 2nd and I can't even think about using because I can have a serious EtG/full panel at any time. You're lucky you had the funds to get out of jail in a day, I did 30 + an extra 7 days because it's fucked and still had to pay out the ass in Michigan. And went straight to rehab. No other charges other than DUI 1st either. (Lucky as fuck though over a 10+ year addiction like yours.)

I'm not sure yet; my next court date is July 22nd - so you're saying I have less than a month to use hard before drug testing comes into play?? Don't tell me that; ill prob go OD.

Would a PO be mad if you are on bupe or part of methadone clinic? Would that be considered a failed test?

I'm a little lost on what to do here.

 

[southeast]

In my experience probation officers just want you to be getting help and often do not test for subs even. I know two people that just never mentioned it and it never came up.... As I mentioned before. And you should be able to get this pleaded down enough to get probation as long as you at least have a public defender.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I need to get my own lawyer due to my earnings; yes, I make good money but I dont have a fucking dollar due to my drug problems. we'll see once I see a lawyer. I actually wanted to be put away and even asked but they refused.. imagine? I wanted to be put away to sober me up and smarten me up but they didnt want to. what do I have to do to be put away? ha. most people think I am nuts for that but I am losing it, man! I am broke, sick, miserable and just dont have the drive to "work" right now.