How does she see me?

[CuddleBxxxx]

I started hanging out with this girl recently. She has a kid, broke up with her ex/father 2 months ago. She told me she had access to a certain drug I'd been looking for and told me she'd hook me up.

Awesome.

We start hanging out, start cuddling/sleeping in same bed together. No kissing/sexual stuff. I asked her if she'd be interested in something more serious, but she said she doesn't feel that way about me.

Not so awesome.

However, I've got a huge craving for physical affection, and not a huge sex desire, so in all honesty, she's fulfilling my biggest "need" when it comes to being in a relationship.

I started hanging out with her, and her ex (who was also a friend of mine), and ended up somehow... being the cause of them getting back together. She still sleeps over at my place from time to time, we do drugs, she contributes monetarily probably 75% of the money we spend when we go out. Usually buys breakfast/my drugs. This is weird for me, because I've been taken advantage of so many times monetarily, that it's weird having a girl pay for me. However we both have equal financially rewarding jobs.

I know she talks about missing me, and gets really excited when I come over, even running up and hugging me in front of her boyfriend.

We don't cuddle when around him, but when we're together just us, we hold hands, cuddle constantly, she flatters me constantly and buys me stuff.

I'm... really... fucking...confused.

I take care of her best I can, give her rides occasionally, take care of her when she got sick, and help her with advice when I can, and that's about it.

I know there is an extremely high likelihood I'm just friend zoned or a cuddle bitch. Fine by me honestly since my primary needs are being met, and without any commitment/costs on my part. However part of me wonders if she only didn't see me that way due to not being over her ex of 3 years/father of her child.

Anyways... opinions/advice/insights? Female perspectives primarily sought.

 

[class-a-team]

I'm sorry to say it but I think she only sees you as a friend. She'd have dumped her boyfriend by this stage if she was into you. However, if you are happy with the way things are and your needs are being satisfied then there's no reason to change or reconsider your relationship. Maybe her relationship with her boyfriend won't last, she might have many more boyfriends, but you can still be there and have her as a close friend.

 

[alasdairm]

there are many sage souls here, op, but nobody can answer this question for you. the only person who can tell you how she sees you, is her. talk to her...

alasdair

 

[Jean-Paul]

obvs. only she can tell you. but on another note, perhaps i know a lot of freaks (i prefer them) but it's almost weird to me now to hear about stuff like this when i know so many poly people. i was talking to a friend about how facebook has taught me that 98% of my female friends growing up are now outted lesbians. he said freud said we make friends with people we are attracted to. anyway, as a female, i have no close friends i haven't cuddled with at some point or another. that's due to alcohol but i suppose it still says something. i have a friend i was never sexual attracted to, but when we drank together i would go around holding his hand. thankfully he was never confused by that. just said he wished i meant it differently. some people are just affectionate in their relationships. (i am really not at all, but i am when i'm drunk)

 

[ech0s85]

i bet the dude banging her doesnt like to cuddle so thats where you come in

 

[GenericMind]

Certainly sounds like you're firmly in the freindzone to me.

but she said she doesn't feel that way about me.

However part of me wonders if she only didn't see me that way due to not being over her ex of 3 years/father of her child.

Probably not imo. There's a big difference between "I want to see if things work out with my ex" or "I want to take things slow" or "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" and "I don't feel that way about you". She's using(not in the negative sense) you to fulfill the parts of a relationship that her boyfriend doesn't. Unfortunately those parts are the less fun parts, unless you like holding hands and cuddling more than sex.