How do you tell them

[Dafunk]

I went to a job interview today. Sitting in a room with three other people one of them asked the question I dread to hear. Any drug use? Now I know I can’t lie because sometimes they give you a lie detector test. But how do you tell them. How do you tell them that you popped pills every weekend for two and a half years because your reality sucked. Or that you used so much mind altering stuff that when people from high school talk to you, the only thing you’re thinking is, who the hell is this person? They can’t possibly imagine how bad it is, that you start Friday with one goal in mind, to forget your own name by Sunday, only to wake up Monday back in that harsh reality, and the only thing to keep you going is looking forward to next Friday. How do you tell them that you had to start selling the stuff, because no poor uneducated kid can afford an almost 500$ a week habit. How do you tell them that whippets were fun? So fun that sometimes I think I can be classified as legally retarded, I don’t know to many kids who spent 200$ a weekend on whippets. How do you tell that when you mix the three you’re in heaven, there isn’t a better feeling in the world. (At least that you haven’t yet) how do you tell them that you didn’t want this to end? That after one weekend of watching everyone getting off sickly from one pill and you’re on your third getting ready to take your fourth cause your not rollin yet, or that weekend you sat in your room alone, way past Monday tripping your balls off, scaring your self, trying to figure out who you are and what the fuck your gunna do with the rest of your life. How do you tell them that you sat there crying in bed trying to hug your dogs, but they know, believe me they know, that your fucked up again and want nothing to do with you. How do you tell them that your weekend has now also become your reality? So what do I do now to escape my reality?

 

[E-girl]

while i've been there, done that... this still worries me a little.
just a question... what else do you have in your life right now that you love? a girlfriend? a hobby? anything?
sometimes there are better highs in this life than whippits and pills, etc. but i'm not judging... just voicing my concern.

 

[Dafunk]

I havent lived this life in almost three years. i've been trying school the second time around, and i somehow like it. I guess it cause Im older, Im not that punk little kid anymore who thinks he does'nt need school......damn I hate getting older