Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
Let your mind wander and do its thing. There's no need in fretting over your thoughts.
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
How Do You Tell a Woman Her Weight Is an Issue Concerning Attraction?
pofacedhoe
Bluelight Crew
its might just be a sedentary lifestyle- though shitty food/too much food has probably played its part
just start buying loads of veg and stuff her with it cos there is a lot of filling and vitamins in veg and not much calories.
manboychef
Bluelighter
I'm just thinking about the overweight people in my family...all of them have a hard time being okay with who they are.
I'm thinking the op might be the one with the issues.
I'm thinking the op might be the one with the issues.
Issac Sinclair
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2011
- Messages
- 381
OP you got a big project. Ever try losing weight? It's hard.
You aren't gonna change her. Trust me. Get another girl. A girl I knew well was getting chubby so I was comfortable saying you're getting fat. Nothing happened, I got fatter too, neither of us is chubby but I'm going from a size 28w to 29w.
She isn't gonna wanna buy new clothes, change her whole life because you said it. She knows and it's honestly like the girl said, it's why you got her.
You aren't gonna change her. Trust me. Get another girl. A girl I knew well was getting chubby so I was comfortable saying you're getting fat. Nothing happened, I got fatter too, neither of us is chubby but I'm going from a size 28w to 29w.
She isn't gonna wanna buy new clothes, change her whole life because you said it. She knows and it's honestly like the girl said, it's why you got her.
socko
Bluelighter
You'll be asking her to change her lifestyle -- In America and elsewhere, sadly, Fat is a lifestyle. So next time you see her tell something like "We need to start getting in shape. I'm not really sure, but it looks like you've gained a couple of pounds. I liked you better when you were thinner." If you can't be open and just tell her that without fear of her screaming at you, your relationship probably isn't very stable or worth maintaining...
Get her interested in working out with you -- you'll need to start her on an exercise program. Think of ways to get her into it -- she's obviously into eating, so maybe turn your workouts into a picnic -- pack your lunches in your backpacks and ride your bikes or go jogging (wearing your backpacks) to a picnic spot. Remember, she can eat all she wants as long as she works it off. So don't be critical about what she eats.
Start easy by walking with her. After her workout, buy her ice cream or beer or something she likes as a reward. Then go for longer walks and bike rides every other day for the next 6 weeks. Then when she starts improving, start taking her jogging. Jog or bike ride a couple of hours every other day for the next 6 months. As she improves, take her on longer bike rides and 10 mile runs. Start telling her things like "think of how good your ass is going to look after you finish this run." Anybody can get into reasonably good shape within a year, so this is a long term plan.
Get her interested in working out with you -- you'll need to start her on an exercise program. Think of ways to get her into it -- she's obviously into eating, so maybe turn your workouts into a picnic -- pack your lunches in your backpacks and ride your bikes or go jogging (wearing your backpacks) to a picnic spot. Remember, she can eat all she wants as long as she works it off. So don't be critical about what she eats.
Start easy by walking with her. After her workout, buy her ice cream or beer or something she likes as a reward. Then go for longer walks and bike rides every other day for the next 6 weeks. Then when she starts improving, start taking her jogging. Jog or bike ride a couple of hours every other day for the next 6 months. As she improves, take her on longer bike rides and 10 mile runs. Start telling her things like "think of how good your ass is going to look after you finish this run." Anybody can get into reasonably good shape within a year, so this is a long term plan.
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BK Bonkey Kong
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2013
- Messages
- 131
Holy shit, I want to be with a thick girl so bad and all I ever end up with is skinny girls. Either enjoy her the way she is or get a different girlfriend. Asking her to exercise is ridiculous. If she wants to lose weight she will try it on her own.
A lot of people like a little bit of meat on a girl. Generalizing "overweight" people as unhealthy is a crock of shit. A person can be not a health nut and still be healthy. Conversely, a fit person can easily be mentally unhealthy.
A lot of people like a little bit of meat on a girl. Generalizing "overweight" people as unhealthy is a crock of shit. A person can be not a health nut and still be healthy. Conversely, a fit person can easily be mentally unhealthy.
A lot of times obese women will "click" or do and say things to over compensate for their fatness. If this woman was skinny she would be totally different. Nothing you say is going to help in any way. If you mention anything it will ruin a lot for the relationship.
1. She is cool and the right thing is to say" I like her for her personality not looks". which is not the case most of us are jerks and want the looks.
2. If you mention that you want her to loose weight that's all she will think about when you guys are together.
3. If you can't accept her and see past her body for the beautiful person she is inside this will never work.
So don't kid your self. You won't be able to change her. From what I read I don't think this is the chick for you.
1. She is cool and the right thing is to say" I like her for her personality not looks". which is not the case most of us are jerks and want the looks.
2. If you mention that you want her to loose weight that's all she will think about when you guys are together.
3. If you can't accept her and see past her body for the beautiful person she is inside this will never work.
So don't kid your self. You won't be able to change her. From what I read I don't think this is the chick for you.
Issac Sinclair
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2011
- Messages
- 381
What's wrong with you? Getting with a fat girl is easy. You know those seduction techniques? Do the opposite, call her beautiful and be nice to her. Then again a thick girl is not the same as a fat girl. And whats with the other stuff?
Um ok? Whats that got to do with anything said here?
zombywoof
Bluelighter
The bigger the cushion
The better the pushing
thats what my mate the chubby chaser says anyway
The better the pushing
thats what my mate the chubby chaser says anyway
zombywoof
Bluelighter
or beauty is only a light switch away
B1tO'RoughJack
Bluelighter
I dunno man. She's really unhealthy. She has had eating issues.
Can you wait for her? Surely wouldn't it be better NOT to tell her, and to just support her to eat right, and live right? To be her friend...Then if she loses weight and gets healthy over the next 3/4 years, then you can have something more maybe.
If you think she is gf material, you "click" on so many levels, then I'm sure you can be her best friend and inspire her in SOME way (not make her feel like shit, by telling her you focus on her face to maintain your redbone) to sort her shit out. I'm sure you're not perfect - you're on a drug users website, right? Compassion, and tolerance will get you far. You sound like a nice guy, and it makes sense you'd want her to sort herself out.
You have a choice of fucking her and seeing where it goes, or stopping, carrying on being friends, and waiting til someone else comes along. Personally, I think You should wait, chances like this don't come that often enough in our lifetimes. Support the fat gal, even if you do just end up as friends. otherwise you just judged her, told her about it, and then fucked up an amazing relationship.
Can you wait for her? Surely wouldn't it be better NOT to tell her, and to just support her to eat right, and live right? To be her friend...Then if she loses weight and gets healthy over the next 3/4 years, then you can have something more maybe.
If you think she is gf material, you "click" on so many levels, then I'm sure you can be her best friend and inspire her in SOME way (not make her feel like shit, by telling her you focus on her face to maintain your redbone) to sort her shit out. I'm sure you're not perfect - you're on a drug users website, right? Compassion, and tolerance will get you far. You sound like a nice guy, and it makes sense you'd want her to sort herself out.
You have a choice of fucking her and seeing where it goes, or stopping, carrying on being friends, and waiting til someone else comes along. Personally, I think You should wait, chances like this don't come that often enough in our lifetimes. Support the fat gal, even if you do just end up as friends. otherwise you just judged her, told her about it, and then fucked up an amazing relationship.
ControlDenied
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2007
- Messages
- 3,098
Holy fuck are Americans really that bad at telling their partners what they actually think and feel? My family is Polish, and people are just like: "my mom is too fat, she eats too much." My mom: "yes you're right." My dad: "quiet woman, who are you to speak, you are also too fat." <Everyone forgets what was just said and continue to gorge>
Leave a note on her pillow or better yet, in the freezer, type out neatly, that says "Lose ___ pounds by ___."
Rawfelmao
Leave a note on her pillow or better yet, in the freezer, type out neatly, that says "Lose ___ pounds by ___."
Rawfelmao
twotoomany
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2013
- Messages
- 736
Wait. You like someone enough to put your dick in them, but not enough to be seen in public with them? This seems wrong to me. I think you secretly like fat girls, but are pigeon holed by the societal beauty myth/standard. I personally suffered with this for a while, then I just accepted it for part of who I am. I like big girls. If everything else is great, you're about to ruin a good thing because of YOUR OWN insecurities...
Here is a conversation I had with a gf who was pretty, great in bed, secure in who she was, and had chubby hips that I didn't like:
Me: Hey, there's something I've been wanting to say. It kind of bothers me that your hips are fat.
Her: Yeah, I have a problem with [eating too many] cookies.
Me: Like when we're out in public, I sometimes feel embarrassed.
Her: Uh, huh. Well, I'm sorry.
[awkward pause, suggesting (1) she was saying this was who she was and had no intention of changing for me, and (2) it's up to me what I want to do]
Me: Oh. Okay.
I kept seeing her until things fell apart on their own (i.e. not related to this issue), and then we were fwb for the next couple years. Her body never changed, I never stopped wanting her to lose weight, the sex stayed great, and she wasn't the "one" for me anyway. That was just the way things were and I wasn't going to change her.
Me: Hey, there's something I've been wanting to say. It kind of bothers me that your hips are fat.
Her: Yeah, I have a problem with [eating too many] cookies.
Me: Like when we're out in public, I sometimes feel embarrassed.
Her: Uh, huh. Well, I'm sorry.
[awkward pause, suggesting (1) she was saying this was who she was and had no intention of changing for me, and (2) it's up to me what I want to do]
Me: Oh. Okay.
I kept seeing her until things fell apart on their own (i.e. not related to this issue), and then we were fwb for the next couple years. Her body never changed, I never stopped wanting her to lose weight, the sex stayed great, and she wasn't the "one" for me anyway. That was just the way things were and I wasn't going to change her.