• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

How do you react when the one you love rejects you?

Illyria99

Illyria99

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 18, 2012
Messages
4,623
Do you become self-destructive? Or do you plot revenge? Or, are you so highly evolved that you can let that person go and move on with your life?

To be honest, when I've been utterly rejected by someone I adore, I do start plotting revenge. Of course, I give him a chance to make things right...but if he fails to comply, then I immediately go into revenge mode. And God help him if he ditched me for another girl...even more seriously, God help her if she decides to rub it in my face.

I've never claimed to be mentally stable. You hurt me, you fucking pay. That's how it is.

How about you?
 
^^ sounds about right to me too. Why would you even waste your time? You must have a lot of time on your hands.
 
Depends on what you do for revenge. Lol. I've had men ask me for help after burning me and I've either ignored them or lol'd in their face. But aside from that I am more of a moper and I get really sad. Then I realize after a while that I'm being a downer and start pushing myself to better myself. After a while I still think about it but it doesn't hurt anymore.
 
I become super self-destructive.
I blame that on my relationship with my father.
I've thought about getting revenge on a certain ex but decided it was too much effort and he wasn't worth it...so I got revenge on the girl he'd left me for instead :) to be fair she was a close friend of mine and he'd been cheating on me with her so she was kinduv a bitch. So I just told everyone and she lost all her friends. It felt good.
 
It always ends up in a massive arguement. After I turned 18 I stopped caring so much about stuff like that. I would be devestated if me and my girlfriend broke up tommorow but I wouldn't end up getting slaughtered and getting into fights in town like I used to.

I love her but relationships aren't worth that amount of self destruction.
 
seems relevant, gf broke up with me about 2 months ago, from this experience my motions have been:
1. be totally fine with it, people change over time and i guess we'd both become pretty distant, it's up to her whether she wants to be in a relationship
2. depression to the point of not doing anything, not eating regularly or at all, staying up till the early hours of the morning then getting up late as possible, not doing any work, no libido. nothing
3. ask whether we can get back together, ask if we grew apart then surely we can grow back together, idegaf if we're just friends i just want to see you
4. realize i've become the soppy, begging ex-boyfriend that looks pathetic, the type of person one laughs to their friends about
5. get as intoxicated on alcohol and drugs as possible
sigh, repeat for a while until
6. delete fb, mobile, etc remove her from my life as i'm not the mature human being i thought i was that could just accept that she's moved on and i haven't (did this today, felt horrible)
i guess soon will be
7. new relationship with someone else, which in turn will eventually lead back to 1.

TL;DR self destruction
 
Depends on what that rejection looks like exactly. I used to become self-destructive, but in recent years it seems like if I honour their wishes they end up wanting me back later because they took me for granted. It has happened a couple times now.

Maybe it's just a matter of not casting pearls before swine.
 
I have always become angry.

I wonder if that is a hardwired reaction?

I know of many males that do just that.
 
opium said:
feel sad, but i just say fuck it. wasnt meant to be obviously.
being sad isnt going to change it, so why go through that pain if the outcome stays the same?
Click to expand...

Wasn't meant to be helps me the most, but makes me very sad too :( The "What If.." questions start arising.
 
I drink more, and get a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Not neccesarily in that order. Then I feel better.

And I don't listen to country music when broken up. THAT alone will make you depressed.
 
i cant be bothered wasting my energy on negativity

if i cant have what i want i'm pissed off but i don't take it out on the person because its changes nothing

revenge is why bad things never end
 
I don't bring it up again unless the person makes a statement rubbing it in my face, then I flip.

If I'm denied even once, I leave it alone and never bring it up again. Don't know why I do this, but being rejected is just a sad feeling for me. No revenge, no anger, just sadness. Maybe I never want to feel that sadness again?
 
I usually go through a process of emotions

Shock - Intial Reaction
Depression
Suicidal Ideation - Peak Emotion
Anger
Acceptance - Come Full Circle

The length of time depends on the duration of time I spent with them and how deeply involved I was.. but it's always self-destructive.
 
^I find the 5 stages of grief can usually be applied to break-ups. Which makes sense, really - you are grieving the loss of a person after all.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top