• Welcome Guest

    Forum Guidelines Bluelight Rules
    Fun 💃 Threads Overdosed? Click
    D R U G   C U L T U R E
  • DC Moderators: ghostfreak | VerbalTruist

How do you know when you've had enough

Louis CK

Louis CK

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 10, 2011
Messages
100
How do you guys decide when to end a binge haha? Do you just get to a point where you feel like shit and NEED to stop? Wait til you run out?
 
When the drugs (benzos/opiates) are almost gone the smart opt for a quick taper ending the binge.
 
Usually when funds/availability have made it such that I am already over a day into withdrawals, I just stop and kick altogether.
 
NeighborhoodThreat said:
DC mods, if you feel this is better in BDD, let me know and I'll merge it into the BDD social

**this post UAed on purpose**
Click to expand...

Thanks NeighbourhoodThreat, it seems good to me.

I find that you never really know when you've had enough. There have been many times in my life, when I've said, "That's it!", and I'll stop using for a while, or Ill just switch to another drug. This was often the case with heroin, I'd grow increasingly more upset about the things I was doing to sustain my habit, and I would decide to switch back to suboxone, and then supplement it with benzo's and stimulants.

I don't really know if there is such thing as a bottom though, or at least for me, there isn't one. Because one thing I know about abusing drugs heavily, is that your standards of living can often lower more and more over time, to the point where the only thing that might make you quit for good is death. But when it comes to just taking a break, I think that's a bit easier to asses. With drugs like stimulants, I've found myself in situations where taking more of the drug is just prolonging the inevitable crash, and also causing paranoia and psychosis. At that point it's a bit easier to stop for a while, as continuing to use offers no benefit. With opiates, benzo's, barb's, alchohol and other physically addicting chemicals, it's a lot harder, because quitting induces withdrawal, and in the case of Gabaergics, withdrawal can be life threatening. Fortunately for opiate addicts, there is methadone and suboxone, which can allow you to interrupt a self destructive pattern of usage, without having to kick right away, which is great.

But making up you're mind about quitting a substance is something that I've found for me, changes on a day to day basis. I don't know if there ever will ever be a period when I feel 100% done with heroin and cocaine, 100% of the time. That's part of what makes me respect bluelight and harm reduction so much, because for many people abstinance just doesn't work, and they slip up. But when we're informed about different aspects of drug use, and safety measures, we can at least know how to use in the safest way, if we're going to partake, and also how to stop as well.
 
This might sound strange, but uh, sometimes I just get bored with it. We'll cop bags for a few days, sniff a whole bunch of dope, and then after a while it just seems to get old. The running around, scraping together money, taking the ride to see our guy... I don't know how else to describe it... but it's almost like I just want to take a break after a while. That's when I know I've had enough.
 
Usually when the bottles empty and the only reason I'm taking it is to fend off withdrawals. So I end up going cold turkey because I don't have money to blow anyways. Or I stop when everything in my life is revolved around getting money for drugs, buying drugs, doing drugs and you know drugs. Kind of gets pretty tiring and old.... Its funny though I just got a gun pulled out on me. I should tell myself I'm done now but of course I'm not going to. I really should stop now though but until then ill keep doing what I'm doing.
 
You don't, that's why you shouldn't seek out drugs that the government is trying to protect you from hurting yourself with; legitimate prescriptions--meaning no coercion or deception went on--are general safe. The only other two things you need to know are don't smoke any tobacco and take care to research how to safely consume alcohol. Please don't do anything illegal or anything that would harm your health. I care about you.
 
When you find yourself in cuffs in the back of a cop car, then chained to a small cement cell in a jail... and get harassed by a jackass cop only to find yourself with prints in the system and a criminal record-heroin can do that to you (as can any drug, really).

Or, when you get arrested and the cops confiscate your stash and all the money in your wallet. Assholes. Not gonna lie, I have been clean frim heroin + uppers since that night (Thurs) but really think I will cave tomor and pickup. Bad thing? Dealer arrested, too... gotta go through new ppl and throw two not one but 2 folks b4 I get my stash. Worth it? I just don't know what to do uf I do NOT pick up. Got two more sub 8mgs... and ~20 mg methadone, coming off a gram a day habit.

And or- when you have $.16 in your checking account. (yep)
 
After two and a half years of frowned upon enterprise, thousands of needles, and 300-400 thousand dollars, cash, wasted.

Wait, no, wouldn't earlier be better? I have good stories to tell, but that doesn't outweigh the sheer loss of it all. Some drugs you cannot use appropriately, no matter what you think you "know", having apparently completely forgotten Socrates' lessons....

That hasn't stopped me, but that lesson of Socrates' has become very poignant to me, at least. Know that you "know" nothing, and your best idea is a guess. Apply that to your drug use, and take the appropriate care in light of your awareness, then you still won't know when to stop. IME, some drugs make it so you only stop if your environment pretty much forces your hand.

Sucks, but at least I know I'm human and therefore an animal; subject to many cognitive flaws and more unjustified confidence than we should rightly have.

If I sound a little cynical, it's probably for a good reason. I could have my doctorate now, plus nearly a half million dollars. I have neither, little hope for the latter, and quite some time before the former becomes reality. All because I couldn't/wouldn't stop, and worse, to my deep shame, thought I was in control; thought that my knowledge gave me an edge, made me know "how" to use a substance. You're fooling yourself if you think you have much power against your own neurochemistry.

I've used since quitting, and managed to know when was enough, understood limits. But I've had to deal with addiction, then dependence, then quitting opiates and stims on my own (fuck rehab), in order to get to this point of experiental understanding, not to mention reams of research time likely better spent elsewhere.

Just know that you are flawed, and can't be trusted much more than lab rats shooting coke over food, or smoking orangutans in zoos, or any other mammal granted the boon of power over it's own neurochemistry. It tends to end badly. If you believe that, you do have a small edge; you know never to fully or even midway trust yourself. With such uncertainty a part of your consciousness, at the very least you'll take that exta bit of care.

Using drugs isn't a game, or a joke, or even a competition. Drugs are tools, tools can be used detrimentally or amelioratively, the same is true for drugs. But like some tools, such as nuclear weaponry, propaganda, or even projectile weaponry of any type, drugs are often either misused, or used to much. The only difference is that we fuck up the environment, societies, and individuals with the those tools, drug-tools enable us to achieve the rarer ability to fuck up your own brain; your mind, your thinking, your logical ability, your memory, and your own emotions.

Used right, any tool is good. I question whether even 3-5% of the general populace has sufficient self-knowledge, experiential awareness, and strict conformance to preset planning/logic/decisions, to adequately actively engage in the pursuit of altered neurochemistry/consciousness. Not that it will stop anyone: the very premise of my beliefs in this regard predict that only a distinctly small portion of humanity have the ability to use even a well-developed and logical warning of the potentialities and intrinsic properties of psychotropic chems. I know I never listened to the ones offered to me; though I thought I was well aware and able to control it all. Why should you, or anyone else?

I only offer the experiences and knowledge of someone who has walked the paths for years, someone who knows this stuff better than his own mind. A humble cautionary entreaty, offered from someone with cause to offer it, earnestly and sincerely given. Do what thou wilt, but at least take these two maxims to heart: question authority (especially your own), and know thyself.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top