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How do You Guys Get Sex?

BlueHues said:
Paying for sex is not the same thing as actually having someone wanna have sex with you.....
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That is very true. Girlfriend relationships and "civilian" fuckbuddies have psychological and emotions benefits. (drawback too, sometimes).
But if you just ain't got none in a long time, need your confidence back, get the smell of desperation off of you, it has it's place.

I guess I should practice some harm reduction on that ROA, too. They call it "the game" or "the hobby". It has pitfalls. You can addicted to the ease of it, you should always wear a condom, know that some of the gals in the hobby lead criminal lifestyles and prostitution is the tip of the iceberg of their criminal activities. Just like we would suggest people read this board and get educated before they start using, their are message board dedicated to escorting where you can learn the risks and the do's and don'ts of the hobby.

That is all I am going to say about that as this board is not about that. I was just presenting an option.
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
I'm not going to lie, when it comes to getting girls interested in you, being a dick works. Hah. You have to find that line between being flat out rude and charmingly blunt. Make fun of her in a playful way and most importantly, don't seem too nice or too desperate.

Act like you could take her or leave her, like you're just striking up a conversation because your bored.
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There is a little truth to his statement. In my twenties, I was very passive and too often took that "friend" approach and never let the girl know I was interested in more than being a friend when I should have let her know I was interested in more than a friendship. It didn't work for me. I also had to learn to love myself enough to not let someone "walk all over me" and put up with lies and bullshit. Now I can let them know I am interested and give them the time to get to know what a great guy I am without surprising them that I want to be more than just a friend.


I hope the OP can find what he is looking for. Loneliness sucks. Counseling can also be a help to let us see ourselves from other perspectives. As I described my twenty-something year, I learned a lot of things about myself and what I was presenting to the world.
 
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Mr.Scagnattie said:
I'm not going to lie, when it comes to getting girls interested in you, being a dick works. Hah. You have to find that line between being flat out rude and charmingly blunt. Make fun of her in a playful way and most importantly, don't seem too nice or too desperate.

Act like you could take her or leave her, like you're just striking up a conversation because your bored.
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...Much as it kills me to admit it, Mr. Scagnattie is absolutely right. I think the problem may be that you're appearing a bit too eager to talk to her - like it's rather obvious that you're very intent on finding some way to make conversation, whereas unfortunately we women seem to be attracted to men who almost appear bored with us (especially if the woman is on the younger side). Of course I'm making quite a generalisation and this isn't applicable to all women at all, but it certainly seems to fit for many. Speaking for myself anyway, it makes me feel like I can't have him, which comes across as a bit of a challenge and makes me positively need to get him. If that makes sense.
It's great that you come off as confident, that'll definitely help - but I do think what's holding you back is maybe appearing too intent. It's fairly easy to pick up when someone is desperate for conversation (I don't mean desperate in a bad or negative way at all - it's just for lack of a better word, I hope you get what I mean).

I'm sorry you haven't been having better luck these past few years, but don't give up :)
 
Getting all up in her personal space will send em running. I've seen it a hundred times. Go to a bar and dance with them. If you have the moves one chick will pick up on it and want you.
 
double ewe said:
what do you do in your free time?
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I'm interested as well. Besides just in college, what other things are you doing where you could meet women?

You're doing post grad? So that makes you how old? Late 20s? MANY people in their late 20s already have a partner. Or already have established friends and aren't interested in making more. Thus why perhaps people are not interested in meeting you the same way as they were when you were in your late teens. Not saying that's how it should be, but it's how it can be. So females aren't always up for being approached if they are already in a relationship. And you hit on a dozen (12) women in one semester (four months). That's not a lot. Try more :)
 
^It may seem like that should be the case, but I really don't think at 28 in a college atmosphere, post-grad or not, that running into "married women" or people "settling down" would really factor into so much. Maybe if you were in your 40s and coming out of a divorce, socializing and meeting people would be an issue, but even then, this is 2013 and the people who were hippies in the '60s are now in their '60s and '70s. Culture has changed a lot since The '50s, where everyone gets married and starts a family in their early 20s.

When I was 28 I came back from living on the West Coast and moved to a college town in Florida. My friend was doing post-grad there. There were more girls looking to hook-up and party then I've ever seen in my life in that town! They would knock on our door at 3 AM looking to smoke a bowl and fool around. I actually pretended not to be there half the time because I didn't wanna deal with it!

I thought my life was over when I was 23, and I guess my adolescence ended, but the people I met after that were so much cooler and fun to party with. That snobby "high-school" clique mentality goes away for a lot of people at that age and it's a lot more fun, IMO.

At 28, you can hook up with under-grad girls and there's nothing weird about it, To a point! 18 might be a little young, but 20+ is perfectly acceptable. To this day, in my mid 30s I could still hook up with 20 year old girls like eating M&Ms, but I don't....It's almost too easy and it just doesn't feel right to me anymore, but for you, it should be no problem.

You gotta capitalize on your strengths. Cut your hair in different way. You're 6'2 with a little muscle on you? Wear clothes that show off your body a little bit. I've never dressed "trying to be in style", but I found my own style and I know what looks good on me.

You should get a haircut and get yourself some clothes that are like nothing you've ever worn before. Sometimes changing it up a little bit will give you th confidence you need to feel good about yourself, which is the most important thing! It's not like changing into a different person so much as being willing to evolve a little bit...

Anyways, that's all Ive got for now!
 
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Nope... In my late 30's early 40's was a great time to "socialize"... There were women freshly divorced looking to mingle, hook up or whatever. You really just have to "go out" and not have big expectations. If it happens so be it. If not, at least you were out, having a good time. Win/win imo. Next time you go out you may see the same people and set yourself up for friendship or maybe more.
 
Lustmord said:
The Game - Neil Strauss
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thats a pretty poor recommendation imo, while it could be enjoyable short term,
if you look at any long term player or sex addict they are completely miserable deep down about their lives
also viewing women as objects which are manipulated by psychological tools could be applicable to club scene girls, its still a very emotionless concept to me
 
There's a lot of girls looking to get their kicks sexually, I hope that's pretty obvious! Having sex with someone without getting into a relationship doesn't have to be anything dishonest or shameful at all. The4re's a lot of girls I meet...I don't wanna marry them. I think they're attractive. They think I'm attractive and we just have a good time! I'm not "trying to play them"....I just think they're beautiful....Of course, I still have my ex girlfriend who although she doesn't wanna be with me, seems to have a hard time with me seeking out female companionship elsewhere!
 
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You're in college, find a girl ask her how she's handling the course load. If she's doing good, lie and say you need help studying and ask if she'd be willing to go for coffee one day and look over your notes (even if she calls you out for lying, you can say "You're right, I just wanted an excuse to ask you out for coffee") and go from there.
 
This advice is probably going to get me blasted, but take up smoking cigarettes. Or just carry cigs and a lighter on you at all times, and perhaps learn how to hold them and whatnot, but never actually inhale. But I met TONS of people smoking outside of academic buildings in grad school. You can just stand around these areas holding a pack and eventually a girl will ask for one, or for a light. Then you make some dumb joke about smokers ("that number theory lecture was so good that I needed a cig afterward" or something else dumb) and hope that she laughs. Try and keep the conversation going while she burns her cig, and when finished say "I gotta go, come back in an hour for another...same place." If she is there, that is a great sign. By the third or forth cig, you can invite her to coffee and she will say yes.

Emphasis on the multiple cigarette process, as women love that cat and mouse stuff. And if you don't invite her to coffee right away, and just make it nonchalant and seemingly about smoking, it will make her want you more. What people said earlier about women wanting a challenge.
 
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^^ lol, of course it is going to get you blasted :p Giving someone advise to start a bad habit like smoking... that's not really the goal... and I personally don't think he should start a bad habit just to get a girlfriend or a one night stand or something.
That being said, I understand where you're coming from. I do not smoke but a lot of my friends do. And they are constantly making more and more friends because of the smoking. Like, when we're clubbing, they will go outside for a smoke break (I'll continue dancing inside) and they will meet people! lol. And my boyfriend smoke socially for about a month (lol) and he said it was sooo much easier to meet people then. There are herbal cigarettes, or whatever the cigarettes are without tobacco in them, you can always try those instead!!!
 
I don't know, I feel the the tide is turning on the whole "smoking is cool" thing and a lot less people are doing it now, especially college aged kids. Just something I've noticed the past few years.. there's a lot less people hanging outside the library smoking than there used to be.

It's the age where being healthy is cool.. I mean, huh? 8( Haha.
 
Survival0200 said:
I keep a pen and a pad of Post-it notes in my pocket all the time.

When I see a pretty girl, I write a note: "Hey! Call me some time! 555-1234 -Survival0200" and hand it to her.
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Quite brave of you.

RedLeader said:
This advice is probably going to get me blasted, but take up smoking cigarettes. Or just carry cigs and a lighter on you at all times, and perhaps learn how to hold them and whatnot, but never actually inhale. But I met TONS of people smoking outside of academic buildings in grad school. You can just stand around these areas holding a pack and eventually a girl will ask for one, or for a light. Then you make some dumb joke about smokers ("that number theory lecture was so good that I needed a cig afterward" or something else dumb) and hope that she laughs. Try and keep the conversation going while she burns her cig, and when finished say "I gotta go, come back in an hour for another...same place." If she is there, that is a great sign. By the third or forth cig, you can invite her to coffee and she will say yes.

Emphasis on the multiple cigarette process, as women love that cat and mouse stuff. And if you don't invite her to coffee right away, and just make it nonchalant and seemingly about smoking, it will make her want you more. What people said earlier about women wanting a challenge.
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I certainly agree that smoking is an easy way to meet people, but wow are the health risks, added expenses, permanent smell etc. not worth taking it up just in the hopes of meeting a girl 8o
And I say that as a smoker.

Quite frankly - I think you could just try hanging out in smoking areas (at clubs in particular) and strike up conversation even if you're not smoking. Would work particularly well at a club because you can just say you wanted to get out for a bit or something (don't say you needed fresh air ;))
 
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