What do you do when you feel alone, like you want to cry, like you don't understand what you want out of life and like no one understands how you feel or what you're going through? What is your best line of defense against lieing to yourself?

Dronelore: I often fall in despair/depression and have done since I was about 11. I hoped it would change after teenage years and although it did somewhat, I still get bouts of depression, anxiety and all that other wonderful stuff! 8)
I'l talk about this from a Spiritual perspective here however there is also rational means to be considered; such as eating right, excercising moderatly, resting/sleeping etc
I think to tell yourself that you have to let things pass through you is very important in not denying your feelings and also not indulging in them. When they inhabit you it is so easy to identify your Self with that feeling(s). Though they are a part of you and are trying to tell you something(albeit dramatically and overwhelmingly so) I really think this is their purpose. So bearing that in mind, it is important to treat yourself with as much care and respect during the episode(s).
Think of a creature shedding its skin/shell. It is a vulnerable and dangerous time but a necessary transition for the growth and evolution for that creature.
I really believe we are no different. We are trying to deal with the change(s) in ourselves and our life.
Councelling has helped somewhat insofar as I actually did something for myself to mark the reality of what was going on for me. More times than not though, unfortunately I have found the majority of councelling didnt actually alleviate the symptoms but did provide me with some needed support. Being on your own and ashamed of how you are feeling does perpetuate the problem and personally, I find it very difficult to share my true, dark feelings with friends as it has usually been belittled in the past.
The company you keep is very important. Finding people who are understanding, genuine and respectful to you and only surrounding yourself with those is paramount. If they are not to be found again, councelling, self help books and or any media that has a positive influence on you is paramount.
I find being true to yourself in the moment probably being the most effective way to 'come down' from the intensity of despair. Repressing emotions, denying them and judging yourself harshly can only prolong and exhaserbate the whole experience IMO. However you obviously dont want to dwell on negative feelings but release them and therefore release their severity.
A good cry and shout ,scream roar is always so important! If things need to come out, let them come out in a safe setting where you can express your feelings secure in the knowledge that you are not losing control/face.
Give yourself some space for yourself; space to feel vulnerable(as we all are), to accept the hurt you are going through and ask yourself what, why and say 'fuck you' to the world!
Do this all with the intention of healing yourself-healing yourself is not a pretty looking experience, there is alot of snot, growling, sobbing, face contorting into what resembles a smaked arse, wailing of the mantra 'what the fuck is wrong with me!?' and so on. Anger and vulnerability go hand in hand alot of the time. Let yourself feel angry and express it in whatever way isn't harmful to yourself or another, dont deny it!
Listen to music that comforts you and surround yourself with natural beauty-go for a stroll in nature;nature has a serene and productive way of just 'being' it has none of the conditional bullshit that our species seems to hang on to.
Last but certainly not least, having a good laugh at anything is a fabulous way to boost your seritonin levels and re-connect with yourself after the draining experience you have gone through, dont forget to reward yourself, you deserve to mock the hilarity of the human condition as it is and always will be a big gigantic paradox that doesnt make alot of rational sense but we are all in it together; whether we admit it or not!
~All this may sound a little hippy-dippy for your liking but I really think that a catharsis is much more rewarding, long term. There is meaning to your sadness hun; your own meaning and it is up to you to find it in yourself. Keep your head up in the face of your pain, it will pass on and with time, hopefully, leave you with a new sense of who you are and how strong you are.
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^Maybe you could add some of your own wisdom.
. As little as 3 years ago i was contemplating suicide almost everyday and all the time wishing for death. Now it's been a long ass time since i have even thought about it in any serious manner. Also im now 29 years old and i'm actually looking foreword to my 30's believe it or not. My 20's where a chaotic manic-depressive mess of ups and downs. It was both the best of times and the worst of times. This applies especially to when i was 28. So yeah i'm looking forward to things just being mostly the best of times 