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Heroin How do you enjoy "normal" life again?

Drowzey

Drowzey

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 4, 2014
Messages
15
I've been using heroin on and off for a couple months, my longest break was about 3 weeks. I haven't used for about 3 days now and it's all I can think about. So far, this is the most dependent I've felt towards it. Everything I do seems boring, I can't stand being home because I feel like I literally have nothing to do, I can't enjoy anything. For anyone who's experienced this, what did you do to get your mind off of getting high? I honestly get high on anything I can just because I can't stand being sober that much. Thanks for any help
 
i feel EXACTLY as you do man. i am on day 4 detox after a month long binge/ relapse. if i were you id deff consider going on some kind of anti- depressant because it is helping me. like i said im on day 4 and i actualy have a tiny bit of hope, i dont mean hope of getting and staying clean, but the anti depresant seems to be doing its job. like for example i smiled a few times today with my family.
 
Drowzey said:
I've been using heroin on and off for a couple months, my longest break was about 3 weeks. I haven't used for about 3 days now and it's all I can think about. So far, this is the most dependent I've felt towards it. Everything I do seems boring, I can't stand being home because I feel like I literally have nothing to do, I can't enjoy anything. For anyone who's experienced this, what did you do to get your mind off of getting high? I honestly get high on anything I can just because I can't stand being sober that much. Thanks for any help
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This is basically the description of an addiction to heroin. Nothing else will do. You only think about the warmth feelings, the rush, the absence of problems and it seems all colorful indeed. But this is now, if you forward a little bit you will be employed by heroin and will need money, your health will deteriorate. You won´t look like you and at a certain point you would "kill" to be on dope again.
I see you have an advantage here as you know what´s coming and that´s not good. I can assure you it isn´t. The withdraws are horrible. The life you will eventually have will be this x 100 worse. No freedom, no job, no family, no friends.. only dope and nothing more.
You have to give you self sometime going through this boredom, because it is not as bad as withdraws and depression.
It will take sometime but soon your body will start producing endorphin again.
I know it´s difficult but that´s only a snapshot of a life that may be taken away from you. You will for ever need help to get up, and re-start your life. You will suffer with endless withdraws and eventually will have to go to a methadone clinic for subs or something else. No turning back at this point.
It´s a life sentence and right now you are only being "sued". Think about that!
And remember that age does not make it better. It will make you sad, tired, sick.
So you may end up being a hopeless being feeling sorry for yourself with no family or friends.
The moment is now! Enjoy the luck you still have! There is a chance you can get over this. Don´t try one last time. It will be another first time. And it gets worse when you end up not feeling anything anymore with your daily fix. It would be a harsh medicine you´ll take in order to be able to operate. No good feelings then..no veins..
Wish you all the luck you can get!! And I hope you really think about this! You can do it!!:\
 
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Coming off heroin can be very hard especially if you are left with the realization that you really only had people around when you were all using. The best thing and really the only thing to do is think about your future, it will be much better off dope then on. All parties end and fun does not last forever, learning to accept the fact that life is full of boring points and less then desirable outcomes is crucial. Life will get so much better if you stay clean and you can actually make goals that extend beyond getting dope. What is really important is finding a way to occupy that time you now have with a hobby or a job.
 
Thanks a lot guys, this makes me feel better and gives me some hope haha. This definitely gives me more motivation to quit. Heroins already made me a completely different person and I can't stand who im becoming anymore, so thank you again for this advice.
 
Drowzey said:
For anyone who's experienced this, what did you do to get your mind off of getting high?
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Nothing,just kept getting high,and 7 years after here i am,still addicted to that shit.

You are at that turning point now my friend,youre seriously getting into it,and the deeper you get,the more boring and meaningless life will seem without H.

If you want my opinion,this is the time to take a SERIOUS break,theres no using once a week for you anymore,neither taking small breaks.

You either lay off that shit for a good 6 months+ and then reevaluate your situation,or soon youll have no dilema-youll be choosing H every time..

Its not worth it man,boredom and lack of motivation seems bad now but is a piece of cake compared to what lies ahead..
 
black kat said:
Nothing,just kept getting high,and 7 years after here i am,still addicted to that shit.

You are at that turning point now my friend,youre seriously getting into it,and the deeper you get,the more boring and meaningless life will seem without H.

If you want my opinion,this is the time to take a SERIOUS break,theres no using once a week for you anymore,neither taking small breaks.

You either lay off that shit for a good 6 months+ and then reevaluate your situation,or soon youll have no dilema-youll be choosing H every time..

Its not worth it man,boredom and lack of motivation seems bad now but is a piece of cake compared to what lies ahead..
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This!
 
Erikmen said:
It´s a life sentence and right now you are only being "sued". Think about that!
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This is a great methaphor actually!

H is like a possessive wife you cant divorce,a full time job,and you can feel it happening already..
 
mrsnowygrainius said:
i feel EXACTLY as you do man. i am on day 4 detox after a month long binge/ relapse. if i were you id deff consider going on some kind of anti- depressant because it is helping me. like i said im on day 4 and i actualy have a tiny bit of hope, i dont mean hope of getting and staying clean, but the anti depresant seems to be doing its job. like for example i smiled a few times today with my family.
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Hey, I hope you don't mind me asking, but would you share with us what anti-depressant you are referring to, why it was originally prescribed, and how long you have been taking it?

Were you originally prescribed it for depression/anxiety/other-reason, or were you prescribed it specifically for heroin/opiate withdrawal? If it's the latter, I've just never heard of that being done, and can't think why it would help the process of withdrawing from opiate use/abuse?

Thanks,


OP, Erikmen's metaphor of your current state of being sued to later face a life sentence is pretty good. As sekio said, you just have to find/invent some hobbies to keep yourself occupied, otherwise you'll have too much time to think about H. Just try and occupy your mind with other matters. It's tough, so kudos for reaching out for help and actually trying to do something about it.

Best wishes,
 
Try not to associate with triggering people, places, and things. Try new activities or revisit old ones that you may have neglected things that you found fun before opiates. It's a long hard road, you're only a few months in and that's great but still a while to go to retrain your brain's natural reward pathways because opioid abuse damages and rewires the whole endo-opioid and dopaminergic systems so you gotta retrain your brain.

$0.02, been sober off opioids for almost a year with no relapses. best of luck to you never look back.
 
this new doctor im seeing put me on despiramine which is a TCA. along with this he gave me gabapentin and zanaflex to help with w/ds and they helped tremendously. ive only been on the anti depresant a few days now but like i said before it is helping my mood and ive NEVER felt this good mentally on my 4th day off dope before.
 
what you are experiencing is anhedonia which is very common coming off of opiates..it can last from weeks to months to even years..it usually weakens and goes away for most but some will struggle forever..for me its still a battle and ive been clean for 6-7 years...its hard to reach that level of contentment that opiates give you..in fact i dont think you can, you have to find a 'new normal' is what i have always been told..
 
I have the same problem! I started using what started with prescription opiates like oxycodone, hydromorphone, Demerol, hydrocodone and ending up 2-3yrs later with the smoking 10 points (1g) east coast heroin/day or 10mg fentanyl the Duragesic brand which is now banned or very rarely prescribed. Unlike any other form of pharmaceutical fentanyl, Duragesic patches were *made* for smoking/shooting, literally one would push all this magic gel down to the bottom corner of the patch and cut one end of the topof this square looking patch of gooey gel. A small, tiny, match head sized amount placed on foil and used via chasing the dragon resulting in an instant powerful rush from the tip of ones toes to the top of ones head, with a feeling on your belly/stomach as if you are in the ocean or in the water and there are big waves splashing against your chest, massaging your every single cell in the body.

Even IV H users told me that even the rush from iv H is very close to the rush from smoking Duragesic type fentanyl, I've smoked other types like mylan fentanyl and its nowhere close to the rush achieved via Duragesic. After that I stopped and relapsed on poppy pods (80+ big sized 3x-4x day) when they were everywhere ebay & amazon included during which time I got ahold of a heroin connection for $30 a point/100mg or $230-$240/g, also another source had just about the same dope maybe *slightly* weaker than the first connection but almost undistinguishable for $150-4160/g and $20/point. I always either smoked 90%+ or snorted 10%+, never needles, usually smoking via chasing the dragon. First time I got 1 point it lasted me 3 days of being high nonstop from waking in the morning to going to sleep. Shortly it became 1 point per day and I *loved* the smell & taste of burning dope (still do), to me it smells what I imagine opium to smell like, a sweet flowery aroma that is very difficult to forget once you've had it or if you use a hollowed out pen/marker like I used to for inhaling but on the inside where the resin accumulates is very powerfully smelling and if scraped the resin is 3x-4x stronger mg/mg than normal dope.

Used to enjoy playing guitar, walking through nature, doing things of a psychedelic nature to connect with nature...not anymore I can't even work for my dads good paying job all I have to do is deal with the customer service and I can make very good money up to $200/day just sitting answering emails from my home, even that I don't have the motivation to do anymore. If I work I use everything I make, spend everything I make on drugs, if I don't work its the same thing just better that I don't have the money all the time forcing me to go on MMT at times.
 
i had a bout a 2-3 year habit with dope and before that just dabbled in prescriptions like oxy n such. this august i decided to finally take the step of going cold turkey from a daily habit with prob only 20 or so days (painful days) off in the past year. i had some subutext to last a week and that made the withdrawals more subdued but still pretty brutal for the next weeks so i was really focused on finding every otc med possible and every vitamin supplement that would help ease the pain and aid some sleep. then when the mental and physical anguish subsided i found myself soooo bored bc i no longer had my physical recovery to focus on or how to cop next. working nights like 4pm-11pm helped bc it would help me be tired when i got home. but i found some of the simplest tricks to be helpful during this time and before i knew it time was passing normally again or almost quickly.
-wake up every morning and shower even if you don't feel like it (helps soooo much)
-try to start out walking and move into actual workouts eventually. i started going on short hikes and eventually ended up joining the ymca
- reconnect with friends that aren't dope fiends even if its awkward at first you'll feel so much better having made yourself do something out of your comfort zone
- start going out again socially drinking or not, it just is good to go out with friends or coworkers from time to time
- try to make plans in advance and give yourself something to look forward to every week whether its a family or friends party, seeing a movie, going for drinks with a friend, coworker or sibling, going skiing- literally anything that can give you something to look forward to and break up your routine

hope this helps!! i still dabble in roxys or so from time to time to treat myself but won't touch dope and that keeps me from making my treats anything regular or anything to worry about and i always make sure they're spaced out!
 
also, i found it pretty empowering to start keeping track of all the money you're saving/ making by not using or spending anything on drugs. once you start working if you're not already it'll be such a colossal motivation to know you have money for when you really need it! this was my first xmas having money and not stressing over a really minimal budget bc i still needed money for a bun. i actually got to give my fam and friends gifts they deserved!!!
 
Tough not to get bored. I was on Suboxone for about 5 years (more off of it than on it) and it just didn't help the cravings. So I went about two years full on right back to the fentanyl. I would cheek and wear the patches and smoke gel if I had the gel patches. I had a great supply, etc. etc. Never came close to OD, but I was always overdrawn at the bank even tho I work two jobs. Just recently got on Methadone and I have realized after trying to quit since 2008 that I may never be "sober" and that Methadone is as close as I am going to be. But we will see. Hopefully you will find other passions in life and realize that your bank acct. is flush with money to spend. You could get a new pair of kicks, PlayStation, a new watch, or some sweet Ralph Lauren stuff. Hopefully, you'll find what makes most people happy in life. Good luck to you. BTW, I have found Gabapentin (Neurontin) to be a lifesaver as far as boredom and missing a buzz of some sort.
 
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