How do we prevent our kids becoming addicts?

[yubacity]

Idk how big your boy is and your history with any childhood physicality, but normal gentle physicality with YOUR child is O.K. Watch some World's Strictest Parents on YouTube and bring out your inner douche Republican Dad. You ain't his friend. Good luck, man. Turn his room inside out throw out all his shit, and put him to work immediately after school with chores after feeding him a healthy snack and letting him know how it's gone be from now until age 18 lol

Idk ....that's what I'd do. These fuckin kids, man. God bless you and you CAN do this. Don't give him an inch. You're in charge and you love him! Ask him WHY he is getting stoned, pain is complicated. Also give him options, you want to clean your room OR do the dishes? You got an older kid than me so you prolly know all this.

Keep us updated!

Im to fucking soft with them i leave it to their mom im just worried it go further as it did with me . My male side die young from their addictions and i had 3 decades of addictions i dont want that for him and with fent in the States fuck no .

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

You can do all of these things everyone mentioned to prevent it but you also just need to have acceptance.

I always said I'd never do heroin or hard drugs like that. And then suddenly at 19 I developed a taste for them & discovered how wonderful they were & how much they helped me. So not even 19 years of "don't do drugs" stopped me from making that decision anyway. You can't say whether it will happen to somebody honestly because we go through so many different phases through out puberty & well into adulthood. Things change.

Best thing to do is be supportive no matter what & educated yourself. Too much anti-drug popaganda out there & puritans thinking that "being clean" is the only way anyone should live, when in reality that's just some one else's subjective opinion. Drugs have been a part of human culture since the dawn of mankind & always will be. It's basically nature at this point. Even dolphins, cows & horses get high (and on purpose too).

My mom flat out told me she'd 'rather see me on opioids than alcohol cause she could see the difference in how each made me behave & feel.
On alcohol, I got violent, crazy, obnoxious, suicidal, etc.. On opioids, I'd get up and exercise, clean the house, have a long conversation with my mom or go for a walk.
The difference there is night & day.

So it's important to pay attention to why & what people are addicted to. Is some one addicted to opioids because it helps them function & get shit done? Or are they addicted to injecting meth & cocaine for sex fueled orgies & other self destructive behaviors? Cause that matters too. Some times you do need to step in if some one is destroying themselves. But if the person is benefiting from whatever they're using & it helps them live, then it really shouldn't even be anyone's business. Of course I'm talking about drug using adults when I say that though.

Honestly, parenting is what it comes down to too.

True, my mother was concerned when at 13-14 I was drinking alcohol, smoking marijuana at 15, and taking LSD at 16. But she understood that teens/young adults experiment, try drugs, etc. and that no matter what she said how as a teen/young adult I would not listen it was up to me to stop which I did at age 29. She also told me how if I got arrested she would not bail me out at all. Fortunately this never happened and I was very discreet, and careful not to smoke pot everywhere, or carry it on me all the time the way my drug buddies and "friends" who did get arrested would do.

 

[ColoradoOpiateGirl]

True, my mother was concerned when at 13-14 I was drinking alcohol, smoking marijuana at 15, and taking LSD at 16. But she understood that teens/young adults experiment, try drugs, etc. and that no matter what she said how as a teen/young adult I would not listen it was up to me to stop which I did at age 29. She also told me how if I got arrested she would not bail me out at all. Fortunately this never happened and I was very discreet, and careful not to smoke pot everywhere, or carry it on me all the time the way my drug buddies and "friends" who did get arrested would do.

THIS. Some semblance of self control and respect for substances. That's all I mean. This is a HARM REDUCTION FORUM, right? It's like I'm the big bad prude mom on this entire website! I never went to Denver with 20 year old dudes we just met at age 15 like my girlfriends did.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

To be fair, my daughter who's 24 has been through all the weed, mdma, ketamine and coke phase that all youngsters seem to do these days. But now she's pregnant, she's off everything and I think she'll stay that way.

My son, on the other hand, is 18 and a fuckin massive stoner. He's also a massive chip off the old block - which is why I fear for the worst. God forbid he ever tries opiates...

Does your son know how you have abused or become addicted to opiates?

 

[BourbonMac]

Hmm... well, I suppose they should really explain what each drug does. Some drugs might not be that bad (like psychedelics or even weed) but will absolutely impact brain development in teens. I think that should really be the main focus. Tell them what drugs are really bad, deadly, have highs that might totally ruin your life because you'll spend forever chasing.

D.A.R.E doesn't really do a good job. I don't know how prominent they are these days, but back in the late 90s/early to mid 2000s before I was a teen, they basically were not realistic or specific about anything. Just "drugs are bad, don't do them." "Weed is like heroin" just a bunch of shit. A lot of teens will see through that, I mean so many movies sensationalize something like marijuana, hell, I personally only decided I wanted to smoke weed because of The Breakfast Club lol.

They made it look so fun and then all these kids who were totally different end up opening up about their worlds. I'm glad I didn't start right away, I was 17 and 4 months which was late compared to most people I went to high school with, many started around 14 or 15 but not that many were smoking all the time. I still think that's too young though, I went through months of severe depersonalization and derealization because the shit was just so strong and I was facing joints because that's how they did it in the movies right?

I'm kinda getting off topic but yeah in the end, I think parents really need to sit down with their kids and talk about what all the drugs do, what it leads to. Show some pictures of meth addicts with faces full of cysts and missing, fucked up teeth. Tell them about bad trips and how some people can get permanently screwed up by psychedelics, they aren't playthings. Lots of teens try psychedelics thinking they'll just go to looney tune land, hell, even I was that ignorant about them until around the time I'd tried them (by then my friends and I discovered this forum, erowid, trip reports on YT) and understood better.

So yeah, in the end, parents need to be honest with their kids about what all these drugs do, which ones are really bad, and why even the not so bad ones aren't good for their developing brains. I've seen so many bright kids start smoking around 13 or so and they end up total burnouts by 15, like it's definitely not good for teens to be getting high even if some of us did and seemed to turn out fine (I'll never really know as my short term memory was always total shit anyway). The depersonalization/derealization was seriously bad though, I don't think that would've happened if I'd started in my early 20s or something. Hell a lot of people suggest you shouldn't even do it until 25. I think 17 is fine, personally. I think I've read the brain is like, 80% developed by 17-18, but that's still not full.

 

[yubacity]

Hmm... well, I suppose they should really explain what each drug does. Some drugs might not be that bad (like psychedelics or even weed) but will absolutely impact brain development in teens. I think that should really be the main focus. Tell them what drugs are really bad, deadly, have highs that might totally ruin your life because you'll spend forever chasing.

D.A.R.E doesn't really do a good job. I don't know how prominent they are these days, but back in the late 90s/early to mid 2000s before I was a teen, they basically were not realistic or specific about anything. Just "drugs are bad, don't do them." "Weed is like heroin" just a bunch of shit. A lot of teens will see through that, I mean so many movies sensationalize something like marijuana, hell, I personally only decided I wanted to smoke weed because of The Breakfast Club lol.

They made it look so fun and then all these kids who were totally different end up opening up about their worlds. I'm glad I didn't start right away, I was 17 and 4 months which was late compared to most people I went to high school with, many started around 14 or 15 but not that many were smoking all the time. I still think that's too young though, I went through months of severe depersonalization and derealization because the shit was just so strong and I was facing joints because that's how they did it in the movies right?

I'm kinda getting off topic but yeah in the end, I think parents really need to sit down with their kids and talk about what all the drugs do, what it leads to. Show some pictures of meth addicts with faces full of cysts and missing, fucked up teeth. Tell them about bad trips and how some people can get permanently screwed up by psychedelics, they aren't playthings. Lots of teens try psychedelics thinking they'll just go to looney tune land, hell, even I was that ignorant about them until around the time I'd tried them (by then my friends and I discovered this forum, erowid, trip reports on YT) and understood better.

So yeah, in the end, parents need to be honest with their kids about what all these drugs do, which ones are really bad, and why even the not so bad ones aren't good for their developing brains. I've seen so many bright kids start smoking around 13 or so and they end up total burnouts by 15, like it's definitely not good for teens to be getting high even if some of us did and seemed to turn out fine (I'll never really know as my short term memory was always total shit anyway). The depersonalization/derealization was seriously bad though, I don't think that would've happened if I'd started in my early 20s or something. Hell a lot of people suggest you shouldn't even do it until 25. I think 17 is fine, personally. I think I've read the brain is like, 80% developed by 17-18, but that's still not full.

I was honest with my kids on day 3 i had my wife bring them into my room i was a mess i told them this is what drugs do fun at first but end like this .

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

True, my mother was concerned when at 13-14 I was drinking alcohol, smoking marijuana at 15, and taking LSD at 16. But she understood that teens/young adults experiment, try drugs, etc. and that no matter what she said how as a teen/young adult I would not listen it was up to me to stop which I did at age 29. She also told me how if I got arrested she would not bail me out at all. Fortunately this never happened and I was very discreet, and careful not to smoke pot everywhere, or carry it on me all the time the way my drug buddies and "friends" who did get arrested would do.

My mom helped me get out of jail a few times. Usually with my money but she had to be the one to get me out & get the bondsman and all that fun stuff.

She slept in the living room all my life. Usually on the couch by the front door. She usually had a bedroom for her clothes & stuff, but I think she just liked sleeping in the living room cause she liked sleeping with the TV on. But anyway, my friends would come over in the middle of the night all the time. That poor woman got woken up so often cause I was letting people in. lol

Man I miss that woman.
I put a letter in her coffin at the funeral telling her how grateful i was to have her as my mother & that she let me be who I was & never gave up on me.
I'm kinda glad I didn't grow up with a mom who was "tough" on me or judgemental. Of course she didn't really understand it either, my drug use I mean, (all she did was drink & take her benzos). But she learned a lot about drugs living with me of course. lol But I had so many memorable & amazing times thanks to my mom allowing me that freedom.

There was a few days back in 2018-2019 when I let her try some tramadol. lol She'd get up & start cleaning the apartment & have all this energy. lol I remember her once saying she understood finally why I was so into opioids because she felt so good & had so much energy. So I think I deep down she kinda understood. She never dealt with opioid withdrawal or anything like that, but she'd been through benzo withdrawal many times. And she watched me go through opioid withdrawal every month all those years too, until I got on subs.

I got her to smoke weed several times too through out my 20's. One of her favorite song was "Because I Got High'. lol I think it reminded her of my older brother, who's also always been a pothead.

Me & my mom also went through hell together for 8+ years or so. To the point where we had to work together to steal food & shit that we needed. lol So we had way more time & experiences to bond together than most people. Although we also butt heads & argued a lot & I wish I could go back & change that now.
But yeah...

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Hmm... well, I suppose they should really explain what each drug does. Some drugs might not be that bad (like psychedelics or even weed) but will absolutely impact brain development in teens. I think that should really be the main focus. Tell them what drugs are really bad, deadly, have highs that might totally ruin your life because you'll spend forever chasing.

D.A.R.E doesn't really do a good job. I don't know how prominent they are these days, but back in the late 90s/early to mid 2000s before I was a teen, they basically were not realistic or specific about anything. Just "drugs are bad, don't do them." "Weed is like heroin" just a bunch of shit. A lot of teens will see through that, I mean so many movies sensationalize something like marijuana, hell, I personally only decided I wanted to smoke weed because of The Breakfast Club lol.

They made it look so fun and then all these kids who were totally different end up opening up about their worlds. I'm glad I didn't start right away, I was 17 and 4 months which was late compared to most people I went to high school with, many started around 14 or 15 but not that many were smoking all the time. I still think that's too young though, I went through months of severe depersonalization and derealization because the shit was just so strong and I was facing joints because that's how they did it in the movies right?

I'm kinda getting off topic but yeah in the end, I think parents really need to sit down with their kids and talk about what all the drugs do, what it leads to. Show some pictures of meth addicts with faces full of cysts and missing, fucked up teeth. Tell them about bad trips and how some people can get permanently screwed up by psychedelics, they aren't playthings. Lots of teens try psychedelics thinking they'll just go to looney tune land, hell, even I was that ignorant about them until around the time I'd tried them (by then my friends and I discovered this forum, erowid, trip reports on YT) and understood better.

So yeah, in the end, parents need to be honest with their kids about what all these drugs do, which ones are really bad, and why even the not so bad ones aren't good for their developing brains. I've seen so many bright kids start smoking around 13 or so and they end up total burnouts by 15, like it's definitely not good for teens to be getting high even if some of us did and seemed to turn out fine (I'll never really know as my short term memory was always total shit anyway). The depersonalization/derealization was seriously bad though, I don't think that would've happened if I'd started in my early 20s or something. Hell a lot of people suggest you shouldn't even do it until 25. I think 17 is fine, personally. I think I've read the brain is like, 80% developed by 17-18, but that's still not full.

Is DARE even still around? My schools in the 1980s and 1990s never used it.

 

[JackARoe]

Is DARE even still around? My schools in the 1980s and 1990s never used it.

Same here. Northern NJ and Southern NY. They spared us DARE. lol Never had to sit through that. Although when I was in HS it may have been brand new in the early 80's. But I understand future grads also did not have to sit through that.

 

[crazyhairman]

Abortion