Recovery How do people cope keeping off heroin?

[nznity]

Or you could just do any or all of those things and still shoot H and live a normal life. Smh. I’ve been doing that for 17 years. You know just like people can have a couple glasses of wine and drink without them becoming full blown alcoholics and ruining their entire life you can do the exact same thing with H or anything for that matter. It’s just will power and make good decisions, it’s really really not hard to do.

it's actually hard to chip for a long ass time, not impossible. But really really fucking hard to maintain for example the one use a month or the only on weekends, 99%of the times ppl succumb to the inevitable everyday cycle... NZN

 

[Zopiclone bandit]

I've decided to taper off, there is NO WAY I wanted to just jump right off BUT I know I'll still have to deal with the PAWS I get sadly.
Yesterday wasn't that bad tbh but I did notice a huge difference in my sleep evebn though I wsn't proper ill I could feel it still & I got my head down at just gone 2am & was wide awake at 5.40am today. The times I've cut back on the gear before I've not been able to sleep for a single minute & after a good few days of that it really gets to you & I seem to wake up right away after a set amount of time no matter how tired etc I may be.

Tonight should be fun, right now as I sit here I've had half a bag & saved the rest, I can feel it but not like usual but then again I have had a lower dose than usual. The bonus is right now as I sit here my stomach is holding out, I'm not going hot/cold, dry heaving or puking stomach acid / bile like usual.

The next 2/3 weeks will really be the test for me.

The one thing that is making me worry is the fact I KNOW I'll ant a bag when I get paid but I am worried I'll slip right back to where I have come from.
I swear on this forum some people think I am a right moody cunt or I am horrible to people for no reason BUT it is when I see people posting about heroin & they try to make out like they know what they are on about or try to make it sound "cool" etc when it isn't.
Like that guy that posted the other day saying how heroin would make me humble etc, I got so pissed off & when I said about some of the stuff my life on heroin I had seen he shut up, he was trying to make out he had lived the life & when I said about trying to get your belt off another addicts arm as he used it to tie off for a IV shot, he had just got out of jail & went right over as he had OD'd right away, he was hving a seizure & foam was coming out his mouth, he had pissed himself too & all the other people in the place smoking crack were freaking out, all I wanted was my fucking belt off his arm & to get out the door, the guy was going to be "brown bread" as we say over here & some time back he had robbed me at knife point so I gave less than a toss about him, this BL poster seemed shocked & tried to make out I was bragging (WTF??!!?!?!?!!?!) ANYONE that thinks that stuff is "cool" etc is a fucking idiot, that stuff is just part of the heroin addict life, a true heroin or crack habit isn't nice. I was just trying to show the kinda stuff alongside the actual addiction you have to deal with, it seemed a shock to some BL users that say they use heroin, I somehow question this, then again I guess they could score off the deep web & have it mailed to their home & NOT go on the street to buy it.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

The animal welfare is what should matter. The companies KFC contracts through are exceptionally cruel to chickens as sadists would be.

PETA's Campaign Against KFC | KentuckyFriedCruelty.com

PETA takes on KFC with the help of Pamela Anderson, Pink, Sir Paul McCartney, and others!

www.kentuckyfriedcruelty.com

I wasn't being cheeky with the wording.

I'm a HUGE carnivore, love my meat. Always will. But I believe in human farming of animals. The laws NEED to change.

 

[jb99]

Don't you just find N.A. to be blunt a sad lot of moaning ex-junkies talking about "God" & saying ALL drugs are bad?
I've only ever been to one N.A. meeting & I walked out, they were imho the most sad bunch of sad losers I'd seen in some time

Kinda like saying "I only ever smoked one joint and it was garbage, so all cannabis must be worthless."

I dislike much of 12 step- the patronizing AA literature, the cult-ness, the evangelism, the self-righteous guru's, all the God stuff....

But I've also heard people tell mind-blowing life stories, some that made me laugh until I cried, some that just made me cry.... I've seen well-known musicians and actors and artists I respect in meetings, and many cool happy people who didn't take it too seriously.

I live in a major city so there's even atheist meetings.

It's not for everyone, but there's not many other places where a bunch of strangers can meet and try to get better by opening up about their deepest secrets that most of society would despise us for.

 

[Jabberwocky]

zb good luck when you get paid, honestly though, you'll either draw out your rattle longer than necessary, or have to start all over again. and even if you get through your rattle to properly clean, if you score again you'll be back at square one. it fucking sucks but its cos your opioid receptors are so used to having fuckloads bound to them, even once you're straight they go straight back into that state. so if you want a chance, i hate to say this, but you really really need to aim to do zero dark or other opiates.

do you have any psychological help? all that shit that you listed sounds fucking awful, and you will not have processed it cos you've been numbing. its waiting to hit you once you get clean. i had a huge backlog and i did not use heroin as long as you. it was fucking awful. every day or 2 something would hit me, friends who died years ago, awful stuff i did, and i just had to ride it out in faith i would get to the end and have some stability once my brain had processed everything it needed. you really really need some help with this man.

jb- totally agree about NA! and also some meetings you just like better than others. i think as a newcomer who doesn't really know if they want to get clean, its easy to pick on stuff to write it off. once you realise that these people can help you stay clean, its easier to forgive the bits that are a bit cringe.

 

[freesolo123]

Like that guy that posted the other day saying how heroin would make me humble etc, I got so pissed off & when I said about some of the stuff my life on heroin I had seen he shut up, he was trying to make out he had lived the life & when I said about trying to get your belt off another addicts arm as he used it to tie off for a IV shot, he had just got out of jail & went right over as he had OD'd right away, he was hving a seizure & foam was coming out his mouth, he had pissed himself too & all the other people in the place smoking crack were freaking out, all I wanted was my fucking belt off his arm & to get out the door, the guy was going to be "brown bread" as we say over here & some time back he had robbed me at knife point so I gave less than a toss about him, this BL poster seemed shocked & tried to make out I was bragging (WTF??!!?!?!?!!?!) ANYONE that thinks that stuff is "cool" etc is a fucking idiot, that stuff is just part of the heroin addict life, a true heroin or crack habit isn't nice. I was just trying to show the kinda stuff alongside the actual addiction you have to deal with, it seemed a shock to some BL users that say they use heroin, I somehow question this, then again I guess they could score off the deep web & have it mailed to their home & NOT go on the street to buy it.

Replied to you mate but the moderator deleted my comment, not going to say anything else on the matter, good luck with your recovery.

 

[woamotive]

I’ve managed to stay off it by working out hardcore. I bike heavily and do weights/strength training. It’s hard, though, man. I don’t do SHIT anymore, drug wise. I have a lot of sex, and that helps.

Find things to do that you really love. Spend time with people you can have intellectually stimulating conversations with. Work on your WHOLE self. Meditate often. Find out who you are at your core. Travel down the rabbit hole.

 

[Rio Fantastic]

hey zopicone bandit. Just wanted to point out how similar our situations are. I'm a little younger than you, but I live in Dudley, also very close to Birmingham, our addictions are insanely similar (even down to the exact standard order - £20, 2 b 1 white!), and I too can battle through the rattle itself but then get hooked back in with the PAWs when I can't stand the overwhelming depression & just sheer bleak misery of it. I also have no time for AA/NA, and from what I've read it seems we are in pretty similar situations. The main difference though is that I'm a little more open to subutex - I used to not be able to stand it but then I realized that was because the dose the recovery center had put me on was just too high. 8mg left me feeling like a numb zombie with zero energy, 2mg suits me much better. However, it's not perfect - I have literally just come off of a pretty lengthy relapse and am trying to put the pieces back together. Just wanted to chime in to say I know where you're coming from!

Edit: jesus christ this is getting INSANE now, reading through more of your posts and find you have dyspraxia as well!?!? dude, are you me!?