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Recovery How do people cope keeping off heroin?

Zopiclone bandit

Zopiclone bandit

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Joined
Jan 25, 2018
Messages
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I'm gonna have to go over old ground for a moment so you people may understand my addiction history here. I've been on heroin since September 2001 with very small breaks so yeah it has been a really long time I've taken heroin (UK #3) into my system. It has always been the PAWS that has pushed me back into it & now I look upon the actual withdrawl where you feel ill as a kinda holiday compared to what I know is coming to me such as self-harm, suicidal thoughts, the UNABILITY to even change my clothes after a week & I smell like a dead rat etc.

This Wednesday I really want just one last smoke & then it is it for me BUT I have no idea how to cope & ride the worst out, heroin is my only stable thing in my life when I have it. All the people I know are full blown addicts, I live the "addict life" & tbh I am kinda worried what the hell I am gonna do with myself.

Anyone have any idea or advice?
 
Most of the time they cope because they are on long-term methadone (or sometimes buprenorphine).
I know how you feel, though. I've been on opiates for 7 years and never gone longer than 44 hours without anything. I did actually quit cold-turkey from daily heroin/methadone and spent 10 fucking weeks in the acute withdrawal stage (no idea what got me through it, I actually remember nothing of this time) but even then I was immediately put on codeine for pain, so there's always been something.
I think the people that get off it and stay off completely tend to have been to a residential rehab to learn how to live without it.

EDIT: having said that, my first addiction was alcohol and I NEVER, EVER, EVER thought I'd be able to get by without it. In fact I openly told people (including doctors, specialist, etc" that I'd rather die than not be able to drink alcohol anymore. I've had about 4 mini-slips where for example I've been at a club with friends and drank (but the same amount as them, I never got wasted or blacked out like I always did before), and a couple of months ago I bought two large bottles of vodka and binged for 36 hours. BUT, I still consider myself 3 and a half years sober, because it's almost impossible not never have slips or (I haven't had one yet this time) relapses.
It's not perfect, but it goes to show that it is possible to get off anything.
 
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I have NO desire to go onto subby's or meth, imho meth is a truly evil drug & actually worse than heroin as I've seen men that were tough openly cry from their withdrawl off methadone due to the pain.

Bupe I've used before but for some reason it does nothing to me, it just doesn't seem to work for me like it does for others. Also the local rehab place where you go piss once a week are famous with the addicts round here for being really harsh with people, they cut my mates 60mg per day meth cript he had been on for 10 years in the blink of an eye, I've never seen anyone that sick off heroin before & I have NO desire to go through that personally.

It isn't the actual withdrawl off the heroin that worries me, it is the post-withdrawl part that really puts the fear of God into me.
How do I fill up my day, what do I do in the waking hours, how do I keep my mind balanced & away from thinking about going to score, what the fuck do I do when I got £20 & I'm thinking about scoring 2 b & 1 white?
 
Soso78 said:
Why Wednesday? How much you using a day between now and then?
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Wednesday is my benefit day, I always have a "snowball" on that day as a treat to myself.
I got a bit of stuff stashed away atm to see me through in terms of gear like usual.

On a payday I can use anything upto 0.7g of gear & usually 0.2 of crack.
 
How much u using today? How u funding a habit if you on benefits?
How old are you? U got your own place or live with parents?

I was on crack heroin and methadone for nearly 20 years. Been clean 7 years (roughly)
Once u done your rip you need to force yourself to do things. Get work or go gym.
Fill your time and avoid sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.
 
Soso78 said:
How much u using today? How u funding a habit if you on benefits?
How old are you? U got your own place or live with parents?

I was on crack heroin and methadone for nearly 20 years. Been clean 7 years (roughly)
Once u done your rip you need to force yourself to do things. Get work or go gym.
Fill your time and avoid sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.
Click to expand...

Today like usual I'll just have a single bag (0.3)

How do I fund it on benefits you ask?........well for a start on payday I'll sadly give over a good 80% of what I get & the rest I make up with erm......go figure on that one. (People always need pills that you cannot get easy off a doctor or Cheese from Asda etc)

I'm 38

I've lived away from my folks since I was 17
 
Soso78 said:
You going to be able to stay away from your mates that using?
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The only person in my "social circle" I have any respect for & would trust with a plastic spoon has now got himself a missus (who I personally think is right off The Jeremy Kyle show) so it isn't a huge issue for me to be alone, I'm not a big "people person" tbh so that shouldn't be a big issue, I'm more worried when they can't score due to someone being busted or robbed & come knocking my door as they are sick & cannot score so they want me to go see one of the Muslims round here for them.

You know what they are like "Hey mate go see XXX for me & get 2b & a white, I'll do half a bag & lick for it"
 
i didn't use as long as you zop but if you remember any of my posts in eadd before rehab, i was pretty bad. for me, i had to learn that there's more to stopping using than just stopping using. heroin was doing a lot for me, and i had to confront that head on, and replace it with something that would perform the same function. for me, this was a lot of therapy, i've still not fully replaced it but i'm at the point where i've not wanted a dark in a couple of months and i thought that would never happen.

i had a lot of help cos i went to rehab, which doesn't teach you how to live, as you're institutionalised, your cleaning and cooking is done for you, it gives you the space to start to confront why you are using. you can do this outside of rehab.

get a proper plan. go to the groups at your drugs services, go to NA/smart/another group of other addicts, in recovery. exercise, try to eat well, find a hobby. social support is key. get a plan. like an actual timetable that covers most of every day to take away the boredom aspect, i've had a friend relapse just last week out of boredom. i left rehab with a plan for the next 90 days. i'm not suggesting you go that full on but at least a week in advance would be good.

be prepared to work for it. it is hard work, there's huge ups and downs, especially at the start. my recovery took more time than a full time job for over 6 months. but now i'm back in a job, if i hadn't put that work in, i'd probably be back whoring myself for crack.
 
You need to replace it with something else, exercise, a relationsahip, a job anything to take your mind off it and divert your attention because with a habit it takes all our life so when u stop its hard to fill the day.
 
chinup said:
willpower alone doesn't work!!! look up ego fatigue. this is why you can't just 'stop using' and need to actively do something different.
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That’s why in previous posts I said to fill his time and avoid sitting around.
Never said willpower is all that’s needed. I literally said to actively do something different.
 
@chinup

Don't you just find N.A. to be blunt a sad lot of moaning ex-junkies talking about "God" & saying ALL drugs are bad?
I've only ever been to one N.A. meeting & I walked out, they were imho the most sad bunch of sad losers I'd seen in some time, they failed to grasp the difference between smoking a blunt with a can of cider or maybe another pipe of N,N-DMT is NOTHING compared to smoking white.

I'd prefer to be on the gear for the rest of my life than to go to N.A. meetings, if anything after being around those folks I had to go score just to balance myself out even though I wasn't ill, their outlook on the subject was just bizarre to me.

How did you ride out the days you had nothing & all you had to do was watch the telly or listen to the radio?
How big was your social circle that used?

@Soso78
Very near to Birmingham city.
 
Zopiclone bandit said:
@chinup

Don't you just find N.A. to be blunt a sad lot of moaning ex-junkies talking about "God" & saying ALL drugs are bad?
I've only ever been to one N.A. meeting & I walked out, they were imho the most sad bunch of sad losers I'd seen in some time, they failed to grasp the difference between smoking a blunt with a can of cider or maybe another pipe of N,N-DMT is NOTHING compared to smoking white.

I'd prefer to be on the gear for the rest of my life than to go to N.A. meetings, if anything after being around those folks I had to go score just to balance myself out even though I wasn't ill, their outlook on the subject was just bizarre to me.

How did you ride out the days you had nothing & all you had to do was watch the telly or listen to the radio?
How big was your social circle that used?

@Soso78
Very near to Birmingham city.
Click to expand...

No offence mate but you sound pretty cynical and immature, for some people N/A is the difference between life and death, others have responsibilities and people who rely on them. I don't think you sound ready to quit but Heroin will humble you eventually, it just takes time.
 
no offence taken. NA isn’t for everyone, that’s why i suggested SMART as an alternative. The point is to fill your time and get social support. from people who have been there.

the reason they are a program of complete abstinence is because that has worked best for their members. in my experience, of one mini relapse, that makes sense. as soon as my judgement is compromised i’m on one like a fiend. they don’t equate a beer and a spliff with a speedball.

tbh i’d call anyone who has overcome a severe addiction to hard drugs and gone on to thrive pretty heroic, and you can find plenty at NA. i was way more of a loser when i was using than i am now, and i still go to 2-3 meetings a week cos i need to have a constant reminder of what i came from and not to fuck it up. if i didn’t it could easily come to pass that i find myself stopping one of the people i see waiting to score on my way home from work to get me a few bits. it still fucks with my head cos its a heavily pakistani dominated area so you know shits good, which is nuts cos i don’t even want heroin but my neural pathways for scoring high quality dark are still strong.

i didn’t have days with nothing to do cos i had a full timetable every day. occasionally with the odd few hours at home.

i can only tell you what worked for me.

i was living at my parents when i came out of rehab so no using social circle. i knew most of the junkies in my area in norwich but distanced myself from everyone when i realised they always got stuff off me and NEVER returned the favour. only person i spent time with in the end was my crack dealer cos she had her own shit to smoke and even then i’d leave soon after it became clear i had to start smoking my own shit.

freesolo!!! good to see you round? how you doing, managed to stay away from the most evil fucking drug in the world?
 
chinup said:
freesolo!!! good to see you round? how you doing, managed to stay away from the most evil fucking drug in the world?
Click to expand...

Was clean for 8 months Chinup but have had a relapse and the crack has got its hooks into me again, I'm still on subs or would be using Heroin as well, How has your life been since I was here last year, you still clean?
 
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