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How Did You Become a Drug User? v. "I'm a user not an abuser!"

Always interested in drugs, got the chance to do coke in the first week of uni (albeit shite coke) so jumped right on it. As I had no drug contacts/friends into the same kinda stuff the next time I did anything was when I found an email for a guy that sells mephedrone 2 months later (same one I still use). Had heard about meph from flatmate who used to be addicted to the stuff so I knew what to expect. Choice to make an order partly triggered by the fucking obvious reality that I was always going to end up taking drugs again and was super curious about them and partly because of something terrible that happened a few weeks before that I wanted to block out.

As they say the rest is history. Went through the rest of my first year of uni alternating between meph and coke pretty much doing the all or nothing thing. Started trying different stuff during the summer once I found the naughty net and tried even more stuff from last September onwards after meeting a certain naughty person ;)

Weird to think that I've been taking drugs for pretty much a year and a half now. And at the moment/over the last few months I've probably been the most sober I've been for ages. So even though I've probably hovered close to the line on occasion, I definitely wouldn't call myself an addict. Despite blowing thousands on err... blow (mainly) I've had some amazing times and wouldn't change (pretty much) any of it.

Does that mean I wouldn't kill for a line of something now? After two weeks of nothing fuck yes. But I can wait till Tuesday ;)

How about the rest of you naughty druggies? <3
 
I had always wanted to try cannabis. I bumped into some friends who were passing a joint around. I tried it. I wasn't sure if or not I liked it, so I tried it again. I thought I liked it, so I bought some hash of my own to make sure. Then I bought some more. Then I got asked if I had any to sell. So I bought some more, and I sold some more, and I met people who were taking acid and speed, so first I tried some acid, then I tried some speed, what I really wanted was Ecstasy only nobody seemed to have any, anyway, I finished uni, spent some time on the dole with the intent of becoming a New Age Traveller, took a trip to Amsterdam and sampled some supposed cocaine on the way, did a six-month stint in the South of France, managed to find a supply of hash, and a couple of punters desperate enough to buy a gram off me and let me smoke the whole lot with them, back to Blighty and back to the Parents, slowly began re-learning to speak English while drunk, got a job, moved out again, scored some more hash, had a flatmate move in who smoked the stuff, developed new connections, finally managed to score E, much raving followed, Ecstasy, acid, coke, speed, always intimate venues, squat parties, sometime in the midst of all this I met Jess, changed jobs, tried even more drugs including heroin. And got introduced to someone who knows someone who grows weed and has ..... shall we say ..... customers who are in the music business, and should know their stuff. So to answer my original question, yes, I probably did like cannabis.

Actually, I think if I had discovered heroin while in my old job, I would have given in to it quickly, because I really was that miserable. The person who introduced me to it, bless her little cotton socks, knew then just how miserable I was, and deliberately waited until I was in a Good Place first, managing somehow to conceal the fact that she had been using on and off all the time. As a consequence of all which, I ended up paying off my mortgage early, not losing the roof over my head with a spiralling habit. Set and setting, peeps ..... set and setting, every time.
 
Junkie from birth imo, I remember reading an article about smack and how much it had fucked this person up when I was tiny (like eight or something) and wanting to have a try. Started smoking weed at 11 and just rolled on from there.
 
I was a weekend pisshead in the 1980s, if I could still stand at the end of a Friday or Saturday night I felt I'd failed in my mission, a ladette before the word had even been invented. All the drug users I knew smoked weed and were weirdos.

At the age of 25, after 10 brilliant years in the pub, I had my kids. Then I spent the next 10 years being a devoted mummy. On the rare occasions that I went out drinking I'd end up with a raging hangover and a migraine for 3 days, so I pretty much gave it up. I joined the school PTA and threw myself into that. I wasn't happy though, I felt like I was living my life in a perpetual pre-mestural state. My OH said he often dreaded coming home from work. One evening we'd had some school govenors round for a barbecue and was so bored I ended up drinking far too much and once they'd gone home was standing in the back garden singing Wonderwall at the top of my voice. My OH seized the opportunity to offer me a pill he'd got off a bloke at work several weeks before. He had 3 mitzi turbos, I took one, bit the other in half and washed them down with a big glass of wine. Within an hour my life had changed forever.

I couldn't believe how it made me feel. I could not stop dancing, and I was never a dancer, I was always at the bar, never on the dancefloor. I was trying to ring the guy from work in the middle of the night on his house phone (no mobiles then) to get more. From then on we were bang on it every weekend (kids at my parents for 24 hors every sat/sun). I lost almost a stone in weight in the the first 6 weeks, ditched all my frumpy clothes and started wearing miniskirts. We went to clubs and festivals, and bought a VW camper. This was all in the late 90s when the drugs and superclubs had the trance resurgence. I joined some internet forums and went all over the country meeting up with other like minded people who didn't judge anyone else and it didn't matter whether you were a lawyer or a street cleaner, everyone was equal.

All my stress evaporated, me and my OH started loving each other again, I was nicer with the kids, I gave up drinking and smoking completely and started eating more healthily. I can honestly say, it was one of the best things to happen to me and it came at just the right time, my mid-30s. I wouldn't have wanted to be a druggie in my teens or 20s cos I couldn't have been trusted not to take it too far. As it was, we were soon buying pills in bags of 100 at a time and were doing far too many, along with a lot of ketamine and ghb. Consequently, after about 18 months the pills stopped working. Then we discovered speed and that has been our drug of choice for the past 12 years. I even managed to wangle a dexedrine prescription for most of that so we didn't get the shitty come down you get with street speed.

I'm now in my early 50s and still bang on it. People comment that I look and act much younger and ask me what's my secret. Well, it is a secret cos I can't tell friends our age cos they would just tut tut. The friends I go out with now are the ones I met through the clubbing forums and I've now known some of them for 15 years! We've even had 3 weddings within the group. I saw a load of them at a 2 day 40th birthday house party last weekend and I'm meeting up with some more at the Peach reunion next month. I have so much more in common with these younger friends and I <3 them all to bits. Long may it last x
 
Loneliness :D


Tangerine Dream said:
Drugs found me in my sleep and inserted themselves into every available orifice. Then I became addicted to drugs instantly and had to sell my TV, pimp out my sister take my dog to the local Chinese takeaway, just to feed my drug habit and fifteen delighted customers.
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Fxd.
 
I went to school during the peak / fall of the rave years, so I wanted nothing to do with drugs or drug culture till I was in my late teens and read a few books where the protagonists smoked weed.

I already had an alcohol problem, and I needed something to help me drift off. So I began to 'experiment'.

Apart from speed (which I always liked) and alcohol, all other drugs were out of the window, till one (around 19/20) day I decided to try everything I could lay may hands on. At first, the element of shame remained, but not for long.
 
But what made you opt for drugs as a method of doing so? Was it trial and error?

Did you spend a year eating nothing but lettuce, for example, in order to see whether it had the same effect? Or did the drugs appeal to you because you enjoyed them?

I think a large proportion of the forum has used / uses drugs for social anxiety etc., but it's all too easy to attribute all of your drug use to such problems, when in reality an awful lot of it is just sheer hedonism.
 
I too was a relatively late starter (compared to some of you caners), but as a young kid I was extremely curious about everything and kept hearing news reports on cannabis, cocaine and LSD, none of which deterred me - quite the opposite in fact. However, apart from drinking a bottle of my dad's home brewed wine at 14 and being very very sick, I didn't touch any drugs until I was 15. A lad in the year above me at school was a notorious pot head - and he had an Afghan coat with the Space Ritual album cover painted on the back (which I subsequently bought off him - then several years later turned it into a rug :) ). So I mithered the fucker for ages to give me a smoke. Eventually he gave in and rolled me a poxy one skin spliff with a minimal amount of homegrown in - which I smoked on the school bus that night and pretended to be 'high'. In reality though, all I got was a headache. However, I persevered and by the age of 18 I had tried just about everything available at the time. By 19 I was totally hooked on sulphate, had contracted hepatitis from sharing works with every fucker and had discovered a love for heroin. This didn't develop into a full blown addiction until I was 30, but the seed had been sown. Now I'm older I've accepted that I'm a druggy, but I used to suffer from extreme guilt and anxiety over it. You are what you is....
 
I never asked to be born, but yet i'm here. So i will use drugs to help me through this god awful existence. I use drugs for the same reason as everyone else....Escapism.
 
Eveyvibe said:
LOL - oh I love that. I should start ampetamines lol may stop me looking 20 years older than I actually am. Hah maybe giving up subs will do that lol
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Street speed feels like poison, only 5-10% of it is actually amphetamine and 90-95% could be anything. I don't think that would keep me young. Dexys are completely different as far as body load goes. I've been doing them pretty much every weekend for 10 years. I think taking caffeine all day everyday is worse. Very good post about speed HERE.

I think my appearance is probably more to do with the gb, it can be the elixir of life. I've consumed a lot, even the hardened users on here would be shocked. It's given me muscles too, I've got more now than when I was playing sports at school. I'm in danger of going a bit sinewy like Madonna, just freaky and weird.

A little bit more about my attitude to drugs :-

I plan to live for least another 40 years so I'm not ready for pipe and slippers just yet. Why would I want to spend half my life being sensible? My dad is almost 80 and still enjoys a party, he gets pissed and has a laugh, and why shouldn't he? We only get one life and I'll continue to do what I want and behave badly for as long as I'm able to.

I used to smoke, drink to excess and eat far too much rubbish. Now I eat healthily, take lots of supplements (vits, minerals, amino acids) and my drugs are pharm grade. It's also a lot less expensive. It's got to be a far better way. We had this argument with the probation officers when we were nicked (also one of the best things to have happened at that time in our lives but that's a whole different story). Rob's had to admit that drugs had not had a negative impact on our lives and had probably improved it. Mine just refused to see me in the end cos I was winning every argument. And we had to do the full 12 months cos neither of us would repent our sins so could not be signed off early!

Mind you I'm not feeling too bright right now. I've been awake for almost 40 hours and that's on just 15mg dex which I took early yesterday morning and caffeine which I only use at weekends so it works really well. I have a routine that suits me, staying up all night and sleeping during the next day doesn't work so it's easier to go straight through. I'll have some phenibut in a bit and will sleep well tonight.

Stumbling upon drugs at relatively late age really was a sliding doors moment that we could've missed. Christ knows where we'd be now if life had taken a different turn.
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Now I'm older I've accepted that I'm a druggy, but I used to suffer from extreme guilt and anxiety over it. You are what you is....
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That's actually a very mature attitude. Accept who you are and live your life accordingly. We're all different and we shouldn't have to conform to some idealistic stereotype. We had neighbours who were both long term heroin addicts but it was managed. They had three kids and they were fantastic parents who always had time for their children. We had no problem letting our kids play round there. They were a lot better than some of these pushy career driven parents. We live opposite a school and they pull up in their great big 4x4s and the kids are being hurried into school as early as 7.30am so they can go off and 'have it all'. You can tell the parents are stressed and they're breeding stressed children but the powers that be would be proud of these 'hard working familes'.

I'm a firm believer in taking the path that suits, not what is expected of us. I live a weirdly unconventional life as do a lot of my friends. Some of the biggest caners are also some of the highest achievers, what society would call a success. But they're spending their weekends completely off their nut. Unfortunately, we can't raise our heads above the parapet and say 'hey look at us we take lots of drugs and actually our lives are ok and we're doing alright thanks' for fear of being shunned. Society likes to compartmentalise, you can be a success or you can be a druggy but you couldn't possibly be both. We should all be allowed to be who we want to be without someone telling us we're doing it wrong.
 
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