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How careful do I need to be with mixing diazepam and alcohol.

I feel terrible for my children, and I know I'm quitting, but I'm too tired to keep fighting, just getting up daily is pure torture. I look happy in pictures on my social media but I'm not, I'm deeply sad and feel a huge hole, my life ended the minute I left my children and their mum as it hasn't been the same since. I don't want to be here without them it's too painful. I'd honestly be happy to just fall asleep and not wake up.
 
benladdie3000 said:
I feel terrible for my children, and I know I'm quitting, but I'm too tired to keep fighting, just getting up daily is pure torture. I look happy in pictures on my social media but I'm not, I'm deeply sad and feel a huge hole, my life ended the minute I left my children and their mum as it hasn't been the same since. I don't want to be here without them it's too painful. I'd honestly be happy to just fall asleep and not wake up.
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I get it.
It's hard. Really fucking hard.
You want to quit. You want to just end it. You can't, because it makes it worse for them.
But, you can't do that. You know this. It's not an option. It would hurt them too much.
I've been in quite similar. I do feel for you.

One foot in front of the other, buddy. Don't take their daddy away.
 
brokedownpalace10 said:
I get it.
It's hard. Really fucking hard.
You want to quit. You want to just end it. You can't, because it makes it worse for them.
But, you can't do that. You know this. It's not an option. It would hurt them too much.
I've been in quite similar. I do feel for you.

One foot in front of the other, buddy. Don't take their daddy away.
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Yea it's really hard. I'm just going to collect my prescription of diazepam and go ahead with it. I haven't the strength anymore, even my girlfriend can't pick my mood up.
 
It's impossible for you to say that things won't get better, man. That things might change. You can't see the future.

Don't disappear from your kids futures.

I think about killing myself quite often, but I realize that they're just thoughts. Thoughts are just that: thoughts. They aren't true just because you have them. Our brains are wrong all the time.

Go buy a lottery ticket, wait until morning to check if its a winner. Trust me.
 
benladdie3000 said:
Yea it's really hard. I'm just going to collect my prescription of diazepam and go ahead with it. I haven't the strength anymore, even my girlfriend can't pick my mood up.
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Here is the thing. There are posters that are correct. You probably won't die but end up with legal and other medical stuff you don't need.

Being with the kids. When you are in a house, and the kids are in another room you technically are still with them. In a different house you are still with them. Your presence is the gift you have for them, whether 3 feet away, 20 feet away or 10 miles, you are here. If you pass on think of their pain. I know for a fact a lot of people don't kill themselves because there are people they love and love you and leaving would cause pain. That simple. Your presence, no matter what mood today or tomorrow brings, is the gift and at any distance.

Life blows. It really is a bunch of hard knocks. But somehow know it is a school of hard knocks. Which implies a graduation at some point. Being there for people is our purpose. We all endure a lot of stuff. It is ok to have a low mood. But Brokedownpalace said it the best. One foot in front of the other. That is all we need to do. Day by day.. I do it. Others here do it. Some people have hair curling stories and live day by day. If and when you feel good for a moment take notice, and stretch it. Screw taking so much valium. Find a balance Take the same lower dose everyday.

Snafu in the Void said:
Go buy a lottery ticket, wait until morning to check if its a winner. Trust me.
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A lot of people would perk up. And anything is possible. So it can be just situational. So yeah, the future can be cool.
 
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Wow, 500mg I's a fkaton diazepam.
I've never gone above 100mg and even that is a heavy dose.
You should instead ask you, what's driving you to take these insane amounts of drugs, u are hiding something deep inside of ya that hurts.
 
nznity said:
Wow, 500mg I's a fkaton diazepam.
I've never gone above 100mg and even that is a heavy dose.
You should instead ask you, what's driving you to take these insane amounts of drugs, u are hiding something deep inside of ya that hurts.
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Yes there are things hurting me. My parents abused me and I'm 32 now and never gotten over it yet have been through all the different therapies available here in the UK. I wanted to always be there for my kids and it's been cruelly yanked away from me as a weapon for splitting with their mother. IV told my girlfriend about this but I'm not sure she realises how bad it is frankly.
 
benladdie3000 said:
Yes there are things hurting me. My parents abused me and I'm 32 now and never gotten over it yet have been through all the different therapies available here in the UK. I wanted to always be there for my kids and it's been cruelly yanked away from me as a weapon for splitting with their mother. IV told my girlfriend about this but I'm not sure she realises how bad it is frankly.
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My daughter is 26 now. She's closer to me than her mom.
Doesn't think much of her mom now, actually. Her mom was "winning", now she's not.
The actual important thing is that my daughter learned and moved forward from a dysfunctional situation while knowing both parents (important)
However, you're feeling like your "losing" now. Wanna make that a permanent loss? Go ahead with your plan.
All you have to do do is wait it out.
Kids will love both parents. Point, period, blank. Took me a long time to get that one. All ya gotta do is make sure they don't simultaneously hate you.
 
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Give it more time ,,things will get better trust me go speak to someone tomorrow just don't tell them you going take pills they take your script and make things worse...with time it get better.
 
I already made my mind up what I need to do to escape this crap I just don't know if my supply of meds is enough. I could probably do 500mg diazepam with 500mg quetiapine, and 75mg zopiclone. A fcuk ton of vodka too and off to sleep I go peacefully. And I know it's a horrible thing for my kids but iv made a video that IV sent to two of my closest friends explaining my reasons and apologising to them and my girlfriend.
 
benladdie3000 said:
I already made my mind up what I need to do to escape this crap I just don't know if my supply of meds is enough. I could probably do 500mg diazepam with 500mg quetiapine, and 75mg zopiclone. A fcuk ton of vodka too and off to sleep I go peacefully. And I know it's a horrible thing for my kids but iv made a video that IV sent to two of my closest friends explaining my reasons and apologising to them and my girlfriend.
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Many OD's like that aren't all that peaceful and pretty. Gasping for breath and thrashing around... then there's the very real possibility of waking up permanently fucked up. Imagine having to interact with your kids while disabled from this. To see their pain instead of running from it.
 
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Ohg frrvat ubj snfg ur zbirq sebz "Ubj pnershy qb V arrq gb or..." gb "Vf n obk bs zbguonyyf naq n tnyyba bs Pbyrzna shry rabhtu gb xvyy zr?" guvf vf ernyyl fgnegvat gb fbhaq zber gebyyvfu guna pel-sbe-urycvfu. Terng nqivpr sebz fb znal bs lbh, rira gubhtu ab bar fhttrfgrq xvyyvat uvf rk vafgrnq bs uvzfrys (pna bar cbfg trg lbh onaarq???)
 
Ampaire said:
Fbeel zl svefg cbfg urer vf (yvtugyl) rapelcgrq, ohg V qvqa'g guvax gur BC fubhyq frr vg. Naq V vzntvar bar bs lbh erthynef jvyy svther vg bhg, juvyr BC cebonoyl jba'g.
Ohg frrvat ubj snfg ur zbirq sebz "Ubj pnershy qb V arrq gb or..." gb "Vf n obk bs zbguonyyf naq n tnyyba bs Pbyrzna shry rabhtu gb xvyy zr?" guvf vf ernyyl fgnegvat gb fbhaq zber gebyyvfu guna pel-sbe-urycvfu. Terng nqivpr sebz fb znal bs lbh, rira gubhtu ab bar fhttrfgrq xvyyvat uvf rk vafgrnq bs uvzfrys (pna bar cbfg trg lbh onaarq???)
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What does that mean
 
This would be a piss poor way to go about committing suicide. When i was in the psych ward there was a guy in there who had managed to comatose himself on 2 bottles of scotch and a big bottle of clonazepam. It put him in a coma then he was committed when he woke up. He was very lucky he hadent suffered any brain damage.

I would personally rather have a skewer inserted into my fucking dick then do any time in a psych ward which chances are is what a alcohol and benzo od would accomplish. You have no real freedom, you get basically no meds and if you happen to live in the US and not be rich and end up going to a public psych ward it is way worse down there. They even segregate men and women which is never good. One thing i will say about the psych ward is that place cured my depression because anyday not spent locked up is a good one. That and i had cotards syndrome which is another story.

If you wanna chill just pop a valium or 2 with a few beers then you probably wont want to kill yourself. It's not worth killing yourself over a treatable mental illness and yes most mental illness or atleast ones like depression and schizophrenia are treatable. Usually the cause of them not being treated is lazy fucking psychiatry which i saw again and again when i was locked up.
 
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