Social How can you apologize without making excuses?

[inlilisimage]

Most of us have said or done something we later regretted. What makes an apology feel sincere? Is it acknowledging the impact, taking responsibility, changing behavior, or allowing the other person time?

I'd be interested in examples of apologies that actually helped repair trust.

 

[M!$TER-ED]

Apologies and asking for forgiveness are two different things, if I say I’m sorry for whatever wrong I might have done or inflicted on someone I cannot control another person’s response. If I truly mean it then whatever transgressions I might have committed is no longer my responsibility or my problem, so I let it go.

I went through a phase awhile back where I reached out to people I felt I might have wronged in my lifetime. I called who I could find and apologized. Some people I thought I wronged didn’t have a clue about what I apologized for and that was ok. The people I could not find, I forgave myself for those I could not reach.

It was very therapeutic and it freed me from any guilt or remorse I might have had.

 

[notsmokeymcpot420]

^Better answer than I had which was just honestly apologize and if they accept it great --- if they don't oh well bridge burned. (already was really)

Don't do things you will later regret and want to apologize for; go proactive!

But yea we all mess that up at some point

 

[chippermonk]

I guess it depends on the situation and what you did. I know my apologies sure seem lame sometimes, especially if I'm feeling particularly ashamed or defensive about it. I think that's often a big problem: we are apologizing while also feeling like we are ashamed or under attack ( and sometimes that feeling of being attacked is actually coming from ourselves because of our shame)
I guess try to be as sincere as you can but also bite your tongue while being self reflective. And my favorite go-to, try be nice and helpful to them in other ways so that they are more inclined to overlook your fuck ups

 

[Ki3ly]

It's more convenient to say your sorry than it is to ask for permission.

Meaning .... are you really Sorry. Sorry enough to have to apologize. J/s




Do it from the heart if you really have to. haha.


Bye.

 

[MsDiz]

A sincere apology is not given to feel less guilt for yourself, it is given because you understand how and why you have hurt the other person.

Apologising whilst explaining how you have caused harm to the other person shows you are fully aware. If you say “sorry” with nothing behind it then it’s not sincere, it’s lip service.

Excuses do not matter, do not even bring them up. If you are truly sorry you know that an excuse does not take away from the hurt you have caused.

If the person wants to continue the friendship/relationship (whatever capacity it may be) then do some introspection and ensure your behaviour reflects that you have learnt from it and are putting that learning into practice. If you continue to be a dick then apologising was meaningless.

We all fuck up, we all make mistakes because we are human.

Just to add, forgiveness doesn’t need an apology because forgiveness is for the person who has been hurt. When we hold on to hate or anger we are giving energy to something not worth our time. It’s also not easy in a lot of cases but when you reach that point it is incredibly beneficial.

 

[Ki3ly]

^^^^ WoW. Not again. That was meticulous.

Very Profound.





Berry nice.


( cause i forgot what i was going to say )